Kyle

Kyle, age 3
Rammestein, Germany (1989)

I was always told by my parents that they knew that I would be different and special. I would walk around the house singing at the top of my lungs, and I loved talking to people. I was always so happy, loved bright colors, and loved to laugh. As you can see in my photo, I was doing both by age 3!

My parents always told me that they would love me no matter what happened.
I first knew I was different in the 4th grade, when I saw all the boys and girls holding hands with each other. I wanted to hold hands with a boy named Jesse, because he was nice to me.

When I was a pre-teen I had an antisocial phase, and I decided to come out of the closet at 14 for my own sanity. I mainly felt that being gay was my own business, and people didn't need to know. However, I couldn't open myself up to people in other ways, without being wholly honest about who I was.

So I came out and started making friends by being the funny guy. Since I was making everyone laugh, they didn't care who I was dating. As time went on, being gay was just something that was. I learned to surround myself with people who enjoyed me for me. I dated and learned lessons just like everyone else.

Since coming out, I have rarely felt "different" for being who I am. I have always been a big advocate of not letting my homosexuality define me. That's always the first thing I tell people who are curious about why I came out so early, and it's the advice that I give younger LGBT people now.

I'm not just a gay man, I am so much more than that.
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Kyle

Kyle, age 3

Sugarloaf, ME (1987)

This image has always represented an internal projection of myself at quiet. The memory might be fabricated from various stories and visits to the mountain, but I can still smell that tulip. And feel the warmth of a wood fire and the comfort of surrounding family. It reminds me what I imagine feeling whole would be like.

"Face deep in a tulip at the cabin."

I was always some version of "different."

Different smart, different social, different gay.

I rehearsed Michael Jackson routines at 4, and memorized a graduate microbiology textbook at 5.


I knew I was gay at 12, though my peers had been letting me know for some time longer. My dad knew how hard things were for me in high school, adding 30 minutes to his commute every morning so I wouldn't have to ride the bus.

I walked from class to class outside, and picked class seating at the nearest exits or doors. And while I was a coward in this environment, I spoke with conviction and poise in front of news crews and politicians: A place where I could focus my energies and could enact change, as I found my own situation immovable.

My message for kids today is:

I've learned you must be your own advocate, if you cannot find one. Whatever pain or disillusionment you experience must be redirected, or it will weigh you down. Be fiercely loyal to your friends. And never let someone project their inadequacies onto you. Love unconditionally and try to be kind.

Unless someone is messing with you. In which case, aim for their "psychological knees" and be unrepentant in defending yourself, and those you love. A bully is at its weakest and most dangerous when challenged.

So, approach them with caution - but don’t back down

Kyle's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Aladin
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