Ivan

Ivan, age 5
Saint-Petersburg, Russia (1988)

My photo shows me doing my first drag performance, as my silly 'Auntie Valya' who lost her reading glasses, while they were always on her forehead.

I was a truly gay kid while growing up, and I was a champion of arts and theater through my early school years.

But then puberty hit and my classmates no longer thought I was that fun to hang around with anymore.

In fact, the bullies tortured me for years on a daily basis. But I survived, and that still amazes me at times.

I eventually ran away from my home country of Russia to find freedom and safety in the USA.

At age 15, I died my hair red. Then green, blue, and pink.

I came out to my mom when I was only 16. Twelve years later, she is still struggling to accept my "life choices." We speak to each other now, but not often.

My father has never been around, and he left for good when I was 12. We never shared any bonds, and he always treated me as if I was some kind of some foreign exchange student living in his house.

I've struggled all these years to overcome anxiety and depression which stems directly from the years of bullying and living in a viciously homophobic Russia.

I have lived in the United States for 8 years now. I will become a citizen this year, provided everything gets done on time. Being gay is still a work in progress for me.

But I am doing better - and feeling better - than I have ever felt before.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Tami

Tami, age 9
Staten Island, New York (1995)

I remember the day this photo was taken. It was a rainy weekend and my little brother and I were having fun trying on my uncle's old work clothes. I know I was both embarrassed and proud when my mother pulled out the camera.
And the two emotions read simultaneously on my face.

It was right around this age when I was first called out as gay. I was in the 5th grade and a female friend and I were playing during a break between classes.

I turned around to find a pack of four boys behind me, with one of the more popular kids in the front. "You're a lesbian!" he said, as the other boys snickered.

I had no idea what he was talking about. Was that an insult?
Had I done something wrong?

I never looked quite like the other girls: I was heavy then and wore thick glasses, baggy t-shirts, and high-top sneakers to school.

Maybe that's what a lesbian was?

Trying not to look foolish, I shot back, 'Well... so are you!' The boys laughed and I realized that, once again, I had missed something in the social code.

I asked my mother what they had meant when I got home.
But I didn't get much help there either.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Karl

Karl, age 3
Arlington, Texas (1964)

In this family photo, I was consciously trying to be cute and coy for the cameraman. At that age I just wanted to be around other males, as all the neighborhood kids and my young cousins were girls. And my father was the physically-present but emotionally-absent type.

At school I figured out that I was more interested in music than most other boys. I wasn't good at sports, so I thought my feelings toward guys were just hero worship.

As a teen I became more aware of my attraction to men, but I just didn't know what to call it.

In 1977, I got my first job as a puppeteer at Six Flags Over Texas. That is where I learned what "gay" meant - while learning the lyrics to "A Chorus Line," "Annie," and "The Rocky Horror Picture Show."

Now I knew what to call what I'd been feeling, although I was terrified by what my church thought of it.

And then Baptist Panic set in: my Youth Minister assisted me in writing a letter declining to return to performing the next season. I was – and still am – a very good puppeteer; I think I could have gone far if I had just kept with it. Still, my attractions would not disappear.

Fighting my urges, I put myself through pastoral counseling to attempt to become straight. I soon attended college with the goal of becoming a Baptist music minister. And neither of those things happened for me.

After three years of counseling I accepted myself, I came out, and I immediately thought, "What am I going to do with this degree?" - and a job that has nothing to do with music.

But I'm now a volunteer performer with the local gay band and an orchestra, and I sign interpret the songs at the largest primarily gay church in the world.

Through my interest in music I met my wonderful spouse of 13 years, who sings opera part-time. One sister is very accepting of me and my partner, the other isn't – but that’s OK.

If I could tell my younger self anything, it would be to not care what others thought and to go ahead and to be himself.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Eve

Eve, age 13
London, United Kingdom (2004)

I've always been very dramatic. But my coming out wasn't as dramatic as I'd have liked it to be, as I kind of trickled out of the closet. It started with telling a couple of my close friends at 14 about being in love with the girl who played Sky Masterson in our school's production of "Guys & Dolls."

I went through the usual 'Do-I-want-her-or-want-to-be-her?' feelings. Or wondering if maybe I just liked girls because I didn't know any boys? Thank goodness for my all-girls schools though, because our drama department introduced me to the wonders of cross dressing (and ladies in suits).

I tried coming out to other gay girls I knew. But they told me I couldn't possibly know if I'd never been with a girl. After that I shut up about it.

I decided coming out at school was a bad, bad idea. I thought everyone would either hate me, or think I was doing it for attention.

So, I tried dating boys. By the time I got to University I thought, 'Why am I doing this when I could be with girls?' So I ditched the guy, cut off my hair, and bought about a million checked shirts. I was finally part of an accepting gay community!

My mum eventually found out when she found a postcard from my girlfriend signed with kisses. After all the months of her asking "Are you gay?" and me replying 'No. Why do I have to be gay to have a short haircut?' - I finally said 'Yeah, OK. I have a girlfriend'. So it was all a little anti-climatic.

My mum immediately phoned everyone she knew to tell them the news.
And that's how I came out. I'm still with the girlfriend who sent that postcard,
and I still wear men's clothing to this day.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Joey

Joey, age 7
Bell Gardens, California (1973)

As a young boy I knew I was different, but never really knew how or why.

In the 4th grade there was a boy named Steve in my class. He was much tougher than me and walked me home every single day that year.

I'm not sure if he walked me home to protect me or did that because he knew I was different.

Or, if he felt different too and felt some kind of unity in our daily walk.

It took me 27 years to come out as a gay man. I had a teenage girlfriend and married my ex-wife at the age of 23. Could my life have been easier if I came out earlier on? That is a question I really can't answer.

Today I'm 46, and these are the happiest days of my life. I have a partner of six years and someday soon, will be able to say we are married. I also have a daughter who is 7 years old - around the same age that I was beginning to question why I felt different.

My coming out as a gay man has let me express my true self, create the family I have always wanted, and find the peace and joy that this 7 year old boy was always looking for.
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  Click - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
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Marty

Marty, age 6
Los Angeles, California (1968)

Every summer my parents would take our family on a camping trip to various places in California by a lake or river. My dad did his best to teach me and my brothers one of his favorite past times - fishing. Where my brothers excelled at this, all I ever wanted to do was goof off and practice casting the reel.

This would inevitably cause my dad to send me away to play with my sisters, which was fine with me. Of course when it came time to be posing the camera,
I was always a willing participant!

My childhood was basically a happy one. Although, school was difficult at times and I did my best to stay invisible to stave off the inevitable bullies.

I had a large loving family that provided a happy oasis, and my siblings were all welcoming to how I chose to express my identity. In fact, my older sisters often took pleasure in dressing me up in various "costumes" from their closet for photo opportunities. Again, I was a willing participant.

Coming out to my siblings was pretty much a non issue. I remember calling to tell them, and the response was always the same: 'Oh, I know' followed by 'I love you.' I just wanted to get it out in the open so we didn't have to pretend anymore.

I never had the nerve to formally come out to my parents, but eventually it was just how it was. As a kid I endured 'faggot' jokes at the dinner table from my dad. But as we both matured, he couldn't have been more loving or supportive of me.

My mother was pure love at heart, but sometimes hid behind the world of denial. I remember visiting her once with my sister and talking about love and pining for when we'd each have a relationship. My mom's response to my sister was not to worry, it will come. But to me, she said that I didn't need that.

Thankfully, as we both matured, knowledge led to her acceptance.
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Click - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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