Glen

Glen, age 11

El Paso, TX (1981)

I remember as a kid that I was different from other boys. But I did not know what the word "gay" meant. Once I turned 13, I understood why I felt the way I did, as far back as age 5. It was a challenging time to come out, and the news of a "gay disease" was at its peak.

My parents would not understand at all, stating:
"They should take all the gays and people who are infected with HIV and drop them on a secluded island."

That was devastating to me.

I left home at a young age, joined the military, got married, and had kids. But it didn't work; I knew I was different.

I "came out" at 26 to a still very non-supporting family. My parents did not stand by me and disowned me.

I realized that if they didn't accept me, I had to be happy and be myself. And I'm okay with that, because I found myself. I love expressing myself through music, and know that I was born this way.

Thanks for creating such a wonderful blog.
I hope it inspires many to be true to themselves.

Glen

Glen, age 7
West Milford, New Jersey (1969)

This is a picture of me and my two brothers. I'm on the top step.
My grandmother wrote 'The 3 Muscateers' at the top. But on the back she wrote 'the three astronauts' since we were all named for astronauts. Glen, Scott, and Dean were definitely common names for kids during the 60's.

I don't recall the pic being snapped, but it is rather telling. We all had some sort of metal canes for the snapshot. My younger brother Dean (now a poet), is on the bottom step looking rather nonplussed about his. Scott (who ended up being the jock of the family) is in the middle, holding his like a javelin. And I'm looking rather dandy using it like walking cane, with my left arm flung casually over the step behind me. I also love the white socks and black shoes!

It must have been around 2nd grade that I recall having those feelings that I now recognize as my inherent gayness. There was a boy in class named Gary C, whose name I still remember after all these years. I just could not take my eyes off of him. I just wanted to be near him. I don't remember much more about him than that - but those memories of staring at him and longing for him are permanently etched in my brain.

During the 1960's and 1970's in the sticks of New Jersey, homosexuality was simply not discussed, even in church. It wasn't on anyone's radar, even though my town was only about an hour's drive away from Greenwich Village, NY.

While I knew instinctively that I was drawn to boys, and then men as I got older, I didn't fully integrate those feelings until much later after college.

Glen's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Don Grady (Robbie Douglas on "My Three Sons")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Glen

Glen, age 4

Los Angeles, CA (1992)

I've always considered myself to be one of the girls. Here I'm with my younger sister.
I remember it so vividly, because this was a moment when I literally took my cousin's pink Barbie Convertible and drove it around the area as if I was "Malibu Barbie". 

Even though I got a similar toy that I could move about in, I wanted the "Pink" one. Looking back at this photo made me realize I wasn't the average boy who played with Tonka trucks and such things. Rather, I enjoyed playing with dolls and pretended I was a girl. I would dress up with towels and blankets, making my own outfits.

But it wasn't until 1st grade when I realized that one of the boys in my classroom was extremely good looking. I wanted to become his best friend only to be closer to him. As I got older, kids my age would notice my mannerisms and realize that I wasn't acting "normal", but acting "gay" or "fruity."

I knew I was gay when I saw Disney's "Cinderella" and loved how she got to wear those glass slippers. That compelled me to start walking in my mom’s pumps. At that moment, I was ready for the ball.

I loved walking down the street in those heels. I felt powerful, liberated, and free to express myself in a way that nobody else could have understood.

Another memory is playing with my mom's long hair. I thought she was so beautiful with that long, wavy look. I wanted to have long hair, just so I could play with it and be able to flip it back and forth as I walked around. 

All these moments are what helped shape me up to the individual I am today.
And I'm very proud to be who I am.

I always follow my heart and ambitions, and live by these words:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt

Glen's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Kevin Costner ("Dances With Wolves")
I loved that naked butt of his!