Joe

Joe, age 7

Oak Park, MI (1970)

This is me and my sister Lisa. I knew I was gay around the time of this picture. How could the person taking this picture not know that I was gay? For goodness sake, I'm posing like a proud little girl - and I love it!

I remember showering with other boys in Cub Scouts, and being intrigued and aroused by the other boys' bodies. I knew I was sexually different by 6th grade at a sleepover, when the boys took out Playboy magazines and talked about girls.
I remember thinking eventually they will also talk about boys, but they never did.

So, I kept quiet.

I was an effeminate boy, who liked to play house and lip sync to Cher songs.
I'd put my sister's black tights over my head, throwing back the legs like long hair, as if I were actually Cher singing "Half-Breed!"

My parents weren't OK with this. They'd shame me, make me take off the tights, and put the hair brush down. I felt terrible, knowing I wasn't like other boys.

Although I kept my sexuality quiet, other boys - and girls - could see that I was different, and I was bullied. I was name-called queer, sissy, and f*ggot constantly. I was spit at, pushed around, and punched regularly.

Unlike other gay boys, I told my parents. They came to the school and told the teachers and principles, but nothing changed. I became isolated and depressed at age 14, and my mother took me to therapy, which saved my life.

The therapist was open to hearing about my real thoughts, fantasies, and identity.
He taught me how to fight back those bullies with my words, and it worked.
It inspired me to become a therapist as an adult.

My message to gay kids now is:

If you hang in there, you will be able to make your own way. And not be at the mercy of the bullies, or anyone in your life who is not doing anything about it.

Be it a guidance counselor, teacher, or a trusted adult:
Tell someone what is happening to you, so you are not alone. There is help.
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Joe

Joe, age 3

Kent, WA (1983)

I love that I had a fashion sense early on. I knew at this age that I would always looks good in red, and the matching rainbow boots were to die for. Also, check out that pose. I was hot and I knew it! The fabric was scraps left over from a dress that my mother had made herself, and I thought that it would be fun to imitate her and make a dress of my own.

I always knew that I was different, as I was more interested in playing with the girls in my neighborhood then the boys.

They were fascinated with football and playing army, and I wanted to play house, dress up, Barbie, and My Little Pony. And I had a whole herd of my own dolls.

I was also into shows like He-Man and She-Ra, the former because of the hot bod and the latter because she was a kick-ass type of gal.

I also loved Jem & The Holograms, Smurfs, Pound Puppies, and Rainbow Brite. Which I confess,
I still watch now in my 30's.

My parents were always good about letting me be me, and expressing myself the way I wanted to.

Some parents of friends, however, banned me from their house for playing with Barbies. 

Coming out was not difficult for me, and my relationship with my parents is wonderful. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I feel that I have been lucky, in that being gay has not been discouraged by those that I consider important in my life.

And I would like to say to all of the gay youth out there:
Being who you are is the greatest thing you can do.
Don’t let anyone discourage you.

Joe's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Joey McIntyre (New Kids on the Block)

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Joe

Joe, age 4 months
Montgomery, AL (1955)

I am the baby in this picture, 2nd from the left. We are sitting on a Victorian settee that I still have half a century later. In this picture I am just a few months old, but look how happy I am surrounded by my three handsome older brothers.

"Boys, boys boys...."

Three weeks after I was born, my Mother wrote a letter to my Aunt.
I still have the letter, and it is precious to me, because one sentence reads:

'The boys are just crazy about him.'  Mothers always know.

I knew I was different at a very young age, but didn't know what to call it.
I took that common (at the time) venture into marriage, like many in my generation did. I guess I should have listened to Mama.

I was in the 4th grade when The Beatles became popular. I was hooked. I had a Beatles wig and some John Lennon sunglasses. I wanted to be John Lennon - so I could be next to George Harrison.

Joe's first, famous-person same sex crush:

George Harrison

Joe

Joe, age 4

Detroit, Michigan (1975)

Here I am, hating the f*cking clowns at the circus.

The circus was cold that day, it smelled like horse crap, and the clowns were too -- available.

As a dour child growing up in Detroit, I lit up for Wonder Woman, The Bionic Woman, Police Woman - or anything with the word woman in it.

My first crush was John Schneider. I was about 7 when I had a dream about Bo Duke, after watching him skinny dip on "The Dukes of Hazzard."


I was unable to articulate what I was feeling at that age, so I took to scrapbooking photos of him. Well, until Johnny Depp came along.

By then, I knew exactly what I was: A Penis Enthusiast

My mom always says, "You were a miserable child."
Then I remind her it's because, 'I spent 9 months in your miserable womb.'

Joe's first, famous-person same sex crush:

John Schneider (on "Dukes Of Hazzard")
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