Keith

Keith, age 2

Detroit, Michigan (1964)

Believe it or not, I remember the moment, captured in this pic, when I saw "Him" - a dreamy, teenage, male friend of my mother's family. I didn't feel gay or "different" at this time, just in love. And, I'm so glad that I'm dressed quite handsomely in my tie, plaid vest, and penny loafers. To this day, I feel a rush when I look at this pic, which is why I love it so much.

So it's the mid to late 60's, but, unfortunately - I don't have any pictures of me wearing my Mary Poppins hat and trying to fly with my Mary Poppins umbrella. I suppose it was around 1965 that I did sense "different" when I'd hear my parents arguing about the clothes and toys my mother was buying me. 

Closely associated was my constant desire to fly either like Ms. Poppins or
The Flying Nun, which drove my father nuts. 

Then there was Penny Robinson (Angela Cartwright) of "Lost In Space."
I wanted to be her, especially when she was "dropping out" on the planet of teenagers and go-go dancing. Sipping TAB at my parents' bar, I'd be Ann-Marie (Marlo Thomas) of "That Girl" and, whenever I had to dust, I'd imagine I was one of the glamorous, wafting women in the Pledge furniture polish ads.

But the guy who really "wow"-ed me back then was <blush> William Shatner! On the original "Star Trek," when he was paired up with Michael Forest in the 'Who Mourns for Adonais?' episode - I was one happy, tingly, little shaver.

Then the 70's came, and things went dark. Going from happy, little shaver to the object of bullies' anger wasn't easy, but all of us go through bad times throughout our lives. I think the ability to fly away, if even just in my mind, helped me get through and into a better time and place.

Keith's first, famous-person same sex crush:

William Shatner ("Star Trek")
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Frank

Frank, age 5

Chicago, Illinois (1961)

My mother would always tell me that I was a smiling and laughing child. Everywhere she took me, people would remark 'What a wonderful laughing baby!' She tells me that I was always curious of the environment around me. And smiling opened doors for me. I remember this photo being taken by a professional photographer who made a house call. I remember having fun "posing". Pick any picture from my formative years, and you'll find me either posing and smiling.

"Move over Madonna - I'm striking a pose"

When I entered 1st grade, I would hold other male students' hands and pretended to be married to them. I was bullied as a child and endured beatings and humiliation. I am grateful that awareness of bullying has come to the forefront.

When the school bell rang at 3:00pm in the afternoon to go home, I would run out the door in order to avoid bullies. Some even waited for me in hallways. I was even suspended from school for ditching Physical Ed.

The principal and powers that be NEVER understood why I ditched school like that.

I was forbidden to play with dolls, but managed to sew outfits for my sister's Barbie. I would hide my creations in a bag and bury them. My bag of sewn creations would come out anytime my parents left the house.

And the man I am today? Born this way and damn proud!

Frank's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Robert Vaughn (in "The Man From U.N.C.L.E.")
Adam West (as "Batman")

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Minita

Minita, age 9

Bombay, India (1985)

I have no idea why my parents were surprised when I came out! I was always the tomboy. This picture is me around 9 years old, deeply tanned after a summer of swimming - and looking very much like a young boy.

I always knew I was gay, I just didn't have words to describe it. I just knew I liked girls. Though, growing up in India, you didn't say such things. Not aloud, anyway.

As a kid, I wanted to be Superman, never Supergirl.
I wanted to be just like Christopher Reeve.

My role model was Martina Navratilova. So imagine my surprise when I found out later that she's gay.

I was so scared someone would figure it out, and that my parents would throw me out. Or not being able to talk to my sisters, whom I adored. I waited till 24 to come out, and after the initial surprise, life settled back to normal.


My parents still love me, my sisters are still my best friends. Life is good.

Minita's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jodie Foster

And I didn't even know she was gay. I found that out much later.

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Brent

Brent, age

Dallas, TX (1975)

My mom took this when I was dancing or performing on my bed, showing off a new shirt and a pair of Tough-Skin overalls. Note the notch of hair I cut out, perfecting my Buster Brown hairstyle while playing in front of mommie's make-up mirror.

I was very outgoing and had a deep voice as a child, so no one suspected much. But I loved to sing, dress up, and be the center of attention.

One of the earliest memories indicating I was gay is jumping on my bed with another boy my age, wearing nothing but pillowcases.

And deciding that the two of us were going to run away and be together forever. Alas, our attempt failed.

Growing up, I hated sports but I loved art, the theater, fashion, and hanging out with other guys.

By the time I was changing clothes in a junior high locker room, I knew I was different. I remember oogling over pictures of guys, first the underwear models in the JC Penny catalog, then guys on the cover of those appropriately-named Teen Beat and Tiger Beat magazines. And of course, the good old International Male catalog.

The fact that a 14-year old subscribed to the International Male catalog should have been a huge hint, but my sweet mom could have cared less. I was never really teased for being gay growing up, because 80's fashion allowed us to hide our sexuality - trying to be "fresh" or "new wave". And I had such a crush on Billy Idol, that I spray painted his name in four foot letters under a bridge once.

I knew I was different back then and really hoped I'd start liking girls, but it never happened. In high school, I secretly had crushes on a few guys and after a couple of encounters in college, it was getting harder to deny who I was to myself. Still, this was during the height of the AIDS epidemic, and most people's reactions to the word "gay" only pushed me further and further in the closet.

I came out in the 90's when I was 25, and my family was incredibly supportive and accepting. By my late 20's, I'd fully embraced who I was, kicked the closet door wide, and become a confident, independent and worldly gay man. I met my partner when I lived in New York, and we've been together almost 10 years.
I'm 40 now, and we are hoping to start a family of our own soon.

My advice to young people struggling with their sexuality is this:
Don't let others determine your self worth. They can only do that if you let them.

Brent's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Scott Baio

I totally wanted him to be my 'Chachi in Charge' and distinctly remember a picture of him in a muscle shirt, sporting feathered hair that made me swoon.

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