Minita

Minita, age 9

Bombay, India (1985)

I have no idea why my parents were surprised when I came out! I was always the tomboy. This picture is me around 9 years old, deeply tanned after a summer of swimming - and looking very much like a young boy.

I always knew I was gay, I just didn't have words to describe it. I just knew I liked girls. Though, growing up in India, you didn't say such things. Not aloud, anyway.

As a kid, I wanted to be Superman, never Supergirl.
I wanted to be just like Christopher Reeve.

My role model was Martina Navratilova. So imagine my surprise when I found out later that she's gay.

I was so scared someone would figure it out, and that my parents would throw me out. Or not being able to talk to my sisters, whom I adored. I waited till 24 to come out, and after the initial surprise, life settled back to normal.


My parents still love me, my sisters are still my best friends. Life is good.

Minita's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jodie Foster

And I didn't even know she was gay. I found that out much later.

_________________________________________________

Brent

Brent, age

Dallas, TX (1975)

My mom took this when I was dancing or performing on my bed, showing off a new shirt and a pair of Tough-Skin overalls. Note the notch of hair I cut out, perfecting my Buster Brown hairstyle while playing in front of mommie's make-up mirror.

I was very outgoing and had a deep voice as a child, so no one suspected much. But I loved to sing, dress up, and be the center of attention.

One of the earliest memories indicating I was gay is jumping on my bed with another boy my age, wearing nothing but pillowcases.

And deciding that the two of us were going to run away and be together forever. Alas, our attempt failed.

Growing up, I hated sports but I loved art, the theater, fashion, and hanging out with other guys.

By the time I was changing clothes in a junior high locker room, I knew I was different. I remember oogling over pictures of guys, first the underwear models in the JC Penny catalog, then guys on the cover of those appropriately-named Teen Beat and Tiger Beat magazines. And of course, the good old International Male catalog.

The fact that a 14-year old subscribed to the International Male catalog should have been a huge hint, but my sweet mom could have cared less. I was never really teased for being gay growing up, because 80's fashion allowed us to hide our sexuality - trying to be "fresh" or "new wave". And I had such a crush on Billy Idol, that I spray painted his name in four foot letters under a bridge once.

I knew I was different back then and really hoped I'd start liking girls, but it never happened. In high school, I secretly had crushes on a few guys and after a couple of encounters in college, it was getting harder to deny who I was to myself. Still, this was during the height of the AIDS epidemic, and most people's reactions to the word "gay" only pushed me further and further in the closet.

I came out in the 90's when I was 25, and my family was incredibly supportive and accepting. By my late 20's, I'd fully embraced who I was, kicked the closet door wide, and become a confident, independent and worldly gay man. I met my partner when I lived in New York, and we've been together almost 10 years.
I'm 40 now, and we are hoping to start a family of our own soon.

My advice to young people struggling with their sexuality is this:
Don't let others determine your self worth. They can only do that if you let them.

Brent's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Scott Baio

I totally wanted him to be my 'Chachi in Charge' and distinctly remember a picture of him in a muscle shirt, sporting feathered hair that made me swoon.

_______________________________________________

Jill

Jill, age 5
Chicago, Illinois (1979)

I look back on this picture and think, 'Really, how could they not have known?!' My family was always very religious, and Easter was considered one of the most important Sundays of the year. So I'm surprised that my mother, who was always very concerned with appearances, let her 5-year old daughter wear a suit to Easter Sunday. I especially loved these pants. My grandmother had sewn the horse patch on my knee, as I'd ripped them one day while climbing a tree.

I was always a little tomboy from the very beginning - climbing trees and playing football with the little boys in the neighborhood. When I was 7, I begged my dad to install a basketball hoop in the driveway for me, which he did, while my sister played with her multiple Barbie dolls.

Back then, I had crushes on a few cute girls. I used to run around on the playground with the boys, but I'd chase the other girls. And I always told my sister from a very young age that I would never let some "yucky" boy kiss me when I got older.

By the time I came out, the general response from my friends was, 'I already know'. So people who really know you, they sometimes know you better than you know yourself. If I could go back in time and tell myself one thing, it would be that everything works out as it's meant to be.

And, that true friends love you for who you are.

Jill's first, famous person same sex crushes:
Kristy McNichol & Nancy McKeon (Jo on "Facts Of Life")
__________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Tweet

Scott

Scott, age 6

Durban, South Africa (1991)

There are defining moments in all our lives where we accurately depict a stereotype. This was my day to bloom. My sister obviously caught my attention with her new garb, and that shade of pink still seems to have that effect on me.

"Being fabulous, naturally"

If you look at all the expressiveness on my face, you can tell there is a sense of enlightenment there, a kind of insight that can only be explained by biology.

From that moment, I knew who I wanted to be, what I wanted to wear, and who I wanted to be surrounded by.

Looking back, seeing my gob-smacked hysterical outburst, it’s clear to me who made being me, as easy as it was.

So to my sister: Cheers to every silent creatress camouflaged in pink.
___________________________________________________

Suzie

Suzie, age 2

Kalgoorlie, W. Australia (1993)

Even as a child, I always hated pink. I point blank refused to wear it. I could live with dresses, so long as they were not pink. It didn’t take mum long to realize that I liked blue much better. Because of my masculine face (so similar to my fathers), people were always saying 'what a pretty little boy he is!'. Still today, I get called Sir on a regular basis.

By the time I was age 8, I chopped off all my hair off refused to let it grow back. Although, I tried when I was 12 to let it grow a bit to try and fit in better. That lasted all of two years. My lack of hair is now the bane of my mother’s existence.

Growing up in a country mining town on the edge of the desert, the men were manly men, and the women were housewives. End of story. There was no room for a girl with short hair who refused to conform. When I started 1st grade, the kids at school would call me ‘Susan Gay’ instead of ‘Susan Day’.

I guess they knew before I did.

The library was my haven. Originally it was a place to escape the bullies and the summer heat, but as I grew older and realized that I wasn’t the same as the other girls in my class, I found a wealth of information, comfort and inclusion.
I read books like "Keeping You A Secret" by Julie Ann Peters, "Annie On My Mind" by Nancy Garden, and the amazing Rainbow Boys series and "The God Box" by Alex Sanchez, which helped me find peace between my faith and my sexuality.

All the while, I was bullied. I even tried dating a guy (one of my worst mistakes ever). It took me a long time to move on from those experiences. Eventually I attempted suicide, and thankfully, I survived.

To all young queer people out there, suicide is not the answer! I eventually got out, went to Europe and to university, got a chance to go to a gay bar, march in a parade, meet girls, and do everything I never could when I was growing up.

Just hang in there, because it WILL get better!
________________________________________________
 

Trevor

Trevor, age 4

Adrian, MI (1992)

Here I am, giving someone the "bitch please" look at a park. Yes, it was me giving attitude far too early. I'm surprised I didn't snap my fingers. I always knew I was different. Always. Even when I was trying to fit in with the cool kids, I would never rightfully fit in everywhere. And, I mainly felt pretty lonely.

But I guess I wasn't a very gay child, as I liked playing sports - just not being forced to. My dad wasn't around very much, and when he was, he would just pressure me to be more of the boy he wanted.

I enjoyed my action figures, pop music, and every video game I could find. Plus Dinosaurs, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Power Rangers - you name it. I even had my favorite Tonka trucks. Yet, I wasn't like the other kids in a lot of ways.

The age it really hit me was was at 11, at a birthday party for two classmates. I had no idea I really liked one of the boys, but he didn't talk to me the entire party.

Afterward in the car with my family on the way home, I started crying uncontrollably. I didn't even know why, other than being sad that he didn't even say "hi" to me. Thinking about it now, it's so stupid - but it makes complete sense.

I told my family to leave me alone and that I felt like I wanted to kill myself... ugh... mistake. My gay alarm should have gone off. Still, I ignored it until about 17 where I admitted to myself that 'maybe I was bi' since I knew I anatomically liked men from watching straight porn. I thought that, ya know, maybe just maybe, one day I would develop feelings for a girl.

It took me until 20 to really accept that yes, I was gay - and it hit me like a ton of bricks. My family had always been bigots, and when I finally came out and told them a boy had taken my heart, it was not accepted. The snide comments started right away and the 'you're not my son' ignoring began. I didn't even talk to my parents for months, other than, 'Hey! How's it going?

As for my friends, most of them were like, 'Really!? COOL!'. I got just a high five from one, a 'Good to know,' and of course the, 'I always suspected' I remember being told in high school that if I were gay, I'd be the perfect shopping buddy.
Yup. Still didn't like shopping.

At least now we can talk about our crush on Ryan Reynolds. On the other hand, I did lose three guy friends. And a best friend since Middle School deleted me on Facebook (and in person), because his mom was convinced I would 'give him the gay'. I still see him around and I know he misses what we had, but he's a grown man who still can't make his own decisions.

My advice to the upcoming generation: Stick to your guns.

For the sake of your own well-being, don't let someone tell you who to be. Whichever veil you put around yourself to be safe, know that inside that shell you must grow, and eventually you will be outside of it exploring the world without it.

As a creative thinker I jumped outside the box completely. It's not for everyone, but if you're tough, then take the world on. The path is tumultuous, and you're going to want to give up - but listen to that thing that says, "I will be happy" and you will get there. Love life, and love what you live.