Dawn

Dawn, age 3

Marshalltown, IA (1976)

It's weird how you can remember some things and not others as a small child.
I remember being dressed up like this by my teen-aged aunts, and I remember the dress was itchy. I didn't want it on, except for the beads. This is only one of 3 photos of me in a dress throughout my years, because it always felt like dress up.

I never knew what the word was for it, but around the age of 9,
I fell for a 19-year old college student at my church. And she was kind enough to hang out with me. She'd take me to grown-up places like auctions and furniture shopping, it was just about being included.

I didn't have other kids in the neighborhood where I lived near my age, so college students become my best friends, and she was my first crush.

It wasn't until age 16, and with a friend of mine, that I realized why I was having the crushes on girls.


We were walking around the mall and my friend pointed out a couple. She mentioned that the guy looked cute, but I was thinking to myself the whole time: 'Forget the guy, I’ll take the girl!' Then the skies parted and everything I felt since the time I was age 9, came flooding back. And like puzzle pieces, it all fit together.

It was then that I realized I had to hide this information from my family, as they were and still are, fundamental Christians. Sadly, this hiding set me back a few years concerning my own self worth. But thankfully, though my family didn’t accept my orientation, I eventually realized that God still did.

If there is one message I could have told myself when I was 18, before an attempted suicide, it would be that there are people out there that will love you for who you are. And God will ALWAYS love you, because God created you.

Eventually, you'll also find there are some family members that will love ALL of you, unconditionally!

Today, I still hold a torch for women older than me, and I've been in a 14-year relationship with a wonderful partner who is 25 years my senior. We learn quite a lot from each other, and I look forward to the next 14 years and beyond!

Dawn's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Joanna Kearns ("Growing Pains")

Lisa Bonet ("The Cosby Show")

Dana Delaney ("China Beach")

Dana looked like the woman I had the crush on at age 9!

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* 1 Million Views - A Tribute To Dennis *

 Hi everyone,
I really don't know where to begin, or what to say, or how to properly say it.
But I'll give it a shot :)

Today (2/6/11) the "Born This Way" Blog hit ONE MILLION visitors!

I can't really wrap my head around that, but I'm trying! And this is some kinda cool kizmet: This blog launched exactly 4 weeks ago today on 1/9/11, and hit the million-mark almost to the hour of the first posting! Kind of crazy, right?

So first, let's all applaud Kevin - our happy baton-twirling gay boy - for being the first! And this was back when I was literally begging my friends (like Kevin) with 'Hey, check out this new blog I have, and please submit something' ...

But now, let's all STAND UP - yes you, get off your chair and turn off the Superbowl for a minute - and scream, cheer, applaud and give some love, to... DENNIS!

If I had not seen his infamous pic a few years ago, my concept and idea for this project would never have come to pass!

Dennis is the reason this whole project exists!
(Well, and for posing so fabulously in his picture back in 1974!)

Thus, I was waiting for just the right time to post up his actual submission.
And I think hitting the one million mark is about as perfect a time as any.
So go check out Dennis' story out below.

And for ALL of us - myself, the people featured here, you viewers, the people leaving the wonderful comments, the countless other blogs and press pages linking to this site, and all the people emailing me with some of the most heartfelt and amazing feedback and words of encouragement:

Let's all share a toast!!!

Let's raise our glasses to each other, to full equality for gay people, to ending homophobia, to only loving our children for exactly who they are, and for those very children themselves, who need US to be their rock and their role models,
and maybe most important of all -- let's all toast to LOVE!

With heartfelt thanks!
xo Paul V., Blogmaster
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Dennis, age 3
St. Louis, Missouri (1974)

I vaguely remember this picture being taken, but I think the Olan Mills "photographer" was delaying, and I was trying to stand still while doing the
pee-pee dance. Or? I was naturally inclined to be an "Actor, Dancer, Model!"

Either way, it was amazing to me that after having this picture and a few others hanging in "my spot" in the hallway while growing up, that my parents were shocked that I was gay. How could they not figure it out? Denial, anyone?

I actually didn't know anyone else who was gay when I was growing up, and I wasn't really sure I understood what it meant. So it took me till 19-years old to figure it out. And then, the childhood pictures all made sense. Such as this 2nd pic, of me at 8 months old.

My sister had dressed me up in her Brownie Scout uniform (beret and all), and from the looks of it, I thought it was funnier than she did. I can't tell if I was doing that same knee-point under the skirt, but I'm willing to bet I was. 

Today, I live in Long Beach, CA and I've been cutting and styling hair for years.

Hey, imagine that - a gay hairstylist! Weird, huh? :)

Dennis' first, famous-person same sex crush:
Mario Lopez (on "Saved By The Bell")
And he just keeps getting better!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet

René

René, age 5

San Salvador, El Salvador (1987)

I found this picture of me at a Kindergarten recital. I remember being picked to be first in line and how excited that made me. My love for dancing started at a very early age, and I remember how much I enjoyed learning the choreography and how good I was at it. And I also had a baton!

The hairstyle wasn't my choice, it was my Mom's. I remember spending way too much time in front of the mirror that day - a habit that has only gotten worst as an adult, I must admit.

Although my childhood memories are somewhat scarce, like many I remember feeling different from the get go. I grew up in a very conservative Catholic society, and although my parents were not fanatics,
I learned at a very young age that the safest place for me was inside my head.

My Dad later had suspicions of my "true nature" early on as well. He used to take me to soccer games, until I sided with his team's archenemy - because I liked their uniforms better. But on the whole, sports never tickled my fancy.

As I grew older, my mannerisms and slightly higher-pitched voice made me an easy target for the bullies at school we dealt with. I remember how tirelessly and unsuccessfully I tried to fit in. My first boy crush happened during the time I was a Boy Scout, and I couldn't stop admiring my Scout Master.

That feeling of "difference" from others started out positive. I remember feeling a higher sense of understanding, and an idea that I was destined to do something great. Somehow along the way and influenced by others, I allowed myself to think that it wasn’t good, that I wasn’t good, and that I should comply.

Well compliance no more! When I got out from the haze, I finally realized how much being gay added to my life. And the experiences, pleasures, and intensity
I wouldn't know, if I hadn't been born this way.

And although I had some really rough times - I got through. And that confused and often scared little boy now stands a tall and proud GAY MAN!

Well, more proud than tall - I'm only 5' 5"...

René's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Javier Bardem (in "Jamon Jamon")

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Barbara

Barbara, age 4
W. Nebraska (1955)

Hello and thanks for this great project!

My name is Barbara, and this photo was taken in western Nebraska.

At this point in my life, I was still waiting for Peter Pan to show up and repair the mistaken gender assignment I got at birth. And, turn me back into the boy I truly was.

A few years later my Aunt Lillian, dressed in a spangled cowboy shirt and a very cool hat, swooped me up onto her horse, and I relented on my wish to be a boy.

Girls were cowboys too, but smelled better.

Barabara's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Peggy Fleming (Olympic figure skater)

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Carter

Carter, age 15

Greensboro, N. Carolina (1975)

Talk about ELABORATE clues!

I wonder what my parents were thinking - or refusing to think - as my Barbra Streisand obsession took over my mid-teens, along with a whole bedroom wall. And to think they were actually shocked 3 years later when I came out.

"Streisand 'n me"

I came out in a very bad way, throwing it out to my mother after she'd grounded me for the night, preventing me from going disco dancing. I started screaming 'I'M GAY! I'M A FAG! A HOMO' and ran around the house telling my Dad and my kid sister, who was reduced to tears.

After I emotionally collapsed and went downstairs, my Mom told me to go upstairs and tell my sister I only said that to hurt her. Which I did. Soon after, all my friends were banned from coming over to the house - even the straight ones my mom couldn't be sure of. And we never talked about any of it again.

Well, except for that time a couple years later. A boyfriend I'd run away from home with, showed up at the house looking for me.

And that's a whooooole other story.

Carter's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Race Bannon ("Jonny Quest")
That show featured almost all men and was very homoerotic. I imagined Race & Dr. Quest as boyfriends, and I had all kinds of fantasies going on about them.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Liliana

Liliana, age 8

Los Angeles, CA 1981

I hated dresses as a child. I remember my mom would force them on me and I just felt she was being cruel by making me wear something I didn't like. I'm an only child, and my mom tried in vain to mold me into the perfect young lady she wanted me to be.

Back then I was really into watching "CHiPs," "Battlestar Galactica", and I remember looking at rap album covers like Run DMC, so I began really digging the track suits. Just a short few years later I would learn to break-dance. Ha ha ha!

I had nothing but boys as friends, and enjoyed all things relating to them, such as Matchbox cars and GI Joe action figures.

And since it was the early 80's - I was fascinated with outer space and Star Wars. In fact, we use to role play - and yes, I always wanted to either be Luke Skywalker or Han Solo.

I never thought of myself as being gay, but other kids called me a tomboy at school, and it was relentless.

My young life was awkward. I remember having these feelings for all sorts of girls and never feeling that way about a boy at all. I guess in my case, I feel I was born this way. And personally, I love it.

But I didn't officially come out of the closet until my early 30's, and guess what - it was no big deal. I guess everyone already just figured out I was gay.

I am now living my life the way I guess I always wanted to, and I have an amazingly beautiful girlfriend to show for it. I love who I am and the experiences I've had, and hopefully will continue to have until a very old age.
   
My advice for gay kids is: Hang in there. It does get much better.
Even for a young Salvadoran-American growing up in a very conservative home.

Liliana's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Drew Barrymore (in "E.T." and "Firestarter")

Lara Jill Miller (on "Gimme A Break!")

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