Dennis

Dennis, age 6

Portland, Oregon (1978)

"Once upon a time, there was one little boy who went to a car show..."
Specifically, it was the "World Of Wheels"1978 car show, and I'd spent weeks begging my parents to take me to the show!

My dad was thrilled, as I'm sure he believed that his son had actually developed an interest in cars. The same son who played with dolls, whose favorite comic books were "Supergirl" and "Wonder Woman" and who insisted on getting a "Dorothy Hamill haircut."

You can see the compromise we ended up with in the picture.  

Of course, my dad had no idea that the REAL reason I wanted to go was that Laurette Spang from "Battlestar Galactica" was going to be there. And there she is with me in my photo! 

She was one of my favorite people on the show. 
Of course, I had no idea her character was a professional escort.

I didn't know what being "gay" meant before 1978, because I'd never been told the term by my parents. I knew I was "different" from the other guys because whenever I (regretfully) found myself grouped with the boys, I was so bored by the things they loved: sports, cars, sports, trucks, sports, boats, sports. Yawn. Whenever I had the chance, I preferred socializing with girls, who were SO much more intellectual and interesting.

However, in 1978 an older neighbor guy moved in next door and I developed a massive crush on him, to the point where I was actually writing out his name in a notebook over and over like you see in bad TV movies. I never acted on my dreamy-eyed crush, but I was dimly aware somewhere in my brain that things would be bad if ANYONE found out about my feelings - including him.

I never  suffered any real abuse for being gay in my early life because I was always "the weird kid" who was viewed as super-intelligent with odd interests, like obscure horror movies and sci-fi shows from other countries.  

That all changed in high school, though. In my first year, my parents sent me to a private, religious all-boys' school and it was a living hell every single day. I was miserable, and I barely attended classes because I always felt sick and scared.  

I was failing all my classes and there were even days where the priest-teachers would spend hours explaining to us all why people like ME were awful monsters. They even instructed the other students to identify suspected gay kids for treatment and counseling because such a "gross" life needed to be "corrected."

Fortunately, I got myself into a public school, then a good liberal college where I could express myself and be who I really was. And I haven't looked back since.

Coming out was a weird sort of non-event. I had attended a Gay Pride parade during college and my folks saw me on TV. They asked me why I was there and I confirmed it. Then they simply ignored it, and acted as though it didn't happen. To this day, they talk to me like I'm straight, so I've simply decided I'm not going to make myself suffer for their denial of reality.

Today, I work in an excellent government job with a very tolerant environment where differences are encouraged. I have a terrific life and think of myself as being truly lucky to have gotten where I am today. Without those early experiences, I wouldn't be where I am now.  

My message to gay youth today is:

No matter how painful an experience is, remember it's your decision every time how you react to it. EVERY decision you make helps turn you into who you will be in the future. I turned out great despite all the adversity and I enjoy a great life of success now.  

So, please, PLEASE turn your agonies into strengths, and your sorrows into the foundation of your character in handling tough times.

And when all else fails, find joy in just being fabulous!

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Dennis

Dennis, age 7

Manila, Philipines (1978)

Mabuhay! I'm Dennis from the Philippines. I really like your blog, because it's so inspiring and uplifting. Recently, I created my own album of gay baby pictures on Facebook for my friends. But here, I wanted to add some more Asian flavor to your wonderful galleries.

This was shot during playtime/dragtime, with my female cousins and my brother. Look closely, and you'll see my heavy make-up - LOL!

Based on my pose, you can really and truly say that I was born with a "Type G" blood - GAY. But as a young child, I didn't know I was gay.

My parents were always very supportive, and didn't have negative reactions regarding my behavior.

Although, when I asked for a doll, they gave me a Humpty Dumpty stuffed toy instead.

I loved watching "Charlie's Angels," "Wonder Woman," and "Knots Landing" with my family. Being different wasn't an issue, but I grew up with an older brother, and attended an all-boys Catholic school.

Yes, I played basketball and other rough boys' games. But when I reached my teen years, this picture played a very important role in my life. When I saw it again about 6 years ago, a realization or confirmation happened.

The pose, the clothes, and specially the pout, reminded me that I was born gay. Then, this teen became a queen, and I lived happily ever after.

Thank you for your blog. And thank you, God - because I was born this way.
"We are the future, seeing the beginnings of another stage of human evolution."
- a quote from "X-Men"

Dennis' first, famous-person same sex crush:

Scott Baio (in "Zapped")

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Dennis

Dennis, age 8

San Diego, CA (1973)

In the pic on the right, that's me as a freshman at NYU in 1983. When I rediscovered this pic some time ago, I laughed for days. It would still be 20 years after that when I'd really come out of the closet. Before that happened, I served on a Mormon mission to Brazil, got married in the Mormon temple, had 4 kids, and continued pretending I was straight.

I don't remember the context of that dorm room picture, but it definitely seems Freudian or symbolic somehow. Why did I pretend I was coming out of a closet? Of course, I knew I was gay at the time. All my classmates were coming out, yet my smile belies the terror that I actually felt inside. My family and religious community would never accept me unconditionally as a gay man, and I knew it.

But how did I think I was fooling anyone? I was enamored with Timothy Hutton, the band Loverboy (mostly because of that album cover showing the butt in red leather pants), and I loved all things theater, especially musical theater. New York City welcomed me in its loving, understanding embrace, yet fear still made me to reject a very fundamental part of myself for years to come.

Even coming out 20 years later, I was right about the non-acceptance of my family and church community. But true peace really only comes by living on the outside in a manner consistent with how you feel on the inside. It feels incredible to finally have that. And my advice is do it sooner, rather than later.

Dennis' first, famous-person same sex crush:

Timothy Hutton (in "Ordinary People")

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Dennis

Dennis, age 8

Natoma, Kansas (1966)

Summer of 1966 was my certain summer. That's me on the left and my cousin Ranny on the right. He was from the big city (Denver) and was spending the summer on our farm in western Kansas. This was a big deal for me, as I didn’t have many friends, and was already branded a sissy by my small town peers.

In the photo, I'm wearing my favorite shorts, cotton twill with an elastic waist.
They were so much more comfortable than cut-off jeans! Ranny had a similar pair, and one afternoon I told him, 'Wear your shorts with no underwear and meet me in the hayloft.' The love of being naked is one I have to this day

I don’t know how many times we revisited the hayloft, to just shed our clothes and revel in the air on our bodies. One time, I heard my mother calling as she was climbing the ladder! I hid behind the bales of hay, but she knew I was there, as my shorts were lying at her feet. Ranny just stood there, having wisely stayed in his clothes that day.

I slunk out, the guilty look on my face confirming everything. She hadn’t caught us doing anything, but she didn’t have to. She knew, all her fears realized. She marched me downstairs, refusing to let me get dressed. Pulling a leather strap from the tack room, she bent me over and whipped me, racked with sobbing.

That evening, my father had a quiet talk with me. Which was unusual, as he usually wielded the belt and my mother did the talking. I'm sure he thought he had the most difficult task that day.

Ranny and I never talked about it. I don't know if he turned out to be gay, as he was killed in a car wreck at 16.

After that, I realized that the things kids had called me and what I was feeling were connected. And my parents had just confirmed what I already knew: that I had to keep it a dirty secret. I tamped it down by being the best little boy I could. Though not too good, lest I draw attention to myself.

In high school I sought refuge in the church, but by my senior year realized I was just running away from the obvious. One more year and I could be free!
I dumped the church and started looking for colleges with gay student groups.

Today, my mother still won't talk to me about my sexuality.
She says she'd be just as uncomfortable talking to my brother about his marriage.

Dennis' first, famous-person same sex crush:

Doug McClure (in "The Virginian")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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* 1 Million Views - A Tribute To Dennis *

 Hi everyone,
I really don't know where to begin, or what to say, or how to properly say it.
But I'll give it a shot :)

Today (2/6/11) the "Born This Way" Blog hit ONE MILLION visitors!

I can't really wrap my head around that, but I'm trying! And this is some kinda cool kizmet: This blog launched exactly 4 weeks ago today on 1/9/11, and hit the million-mark almost to the hour of the first posting! Kind of crazy, right?

So first, let's all applaud Kevin - our happy baton-twirling gay boy - for being the first! And this was back when I was literally begging my friends (like Kevin) with 'Hey, check out this new blog I have, and please submit something' ...

But now, let's all STAND UP - yes you, get off your chair and turn off the Superbowl for a minute - and scream, cheer, applaud and give some love, to... DENNIS!

If I had not seen his infamous pic a few years ago, my concept and idea for this project would never have come to pass!

Dennis is the reason this whole project exists!
(Well, and for posing so fabulously in his picture back in 1974!)

Thus, I was waiting for just the right time to post up his actual submission.
And I think hitting the one million mark is about as perfect a time as any.
So go check out Dennis' story out below.

And for ALL of us - myself, the people featured here, you viewers, the people leaving the wonderful comments, the countless other blogs and press pages linking to this site, and all the people emailing me with some of the most heartfelt and amazing feedback and words of encouragement:

Let's all share a toast!!!

Let's raise our glasses to each other, to full equality for gay people, to ending homophobia, to only loving our children for exactly who they are, and for those very children themselves, who need US to be their rock and their role models,
and maybe most important of all -- let's all toast to LOVE!

With heartfelt thanks!
xo Paul V., Blogmaster
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Dennis, age 3
St. Louis, Missouri (1974)

I vaguely remember this picture being taken, but I think the Olan Mills "photographer" was delaying, and I was trying to stand still while doing the
pee-pee dance. Or? I was naturally inclined to be an "Actor, Dancer, Model!"

Either way, it was amazing to me that after having this picture and a few others hanging in "my spot" in the hallway while growing up, that my parents were shocked that I was gay. How could they not figure it out? Denial, anyone?

I actually didn't know anyone else who was gay when I was growing up, and I wasn't really sure I understood what it meant. So it took me till 19-years old to figure it out. And then, the childhood pictures all made sense. Such as this 2nd pic, of me at 8 months old.

My sister had dressed me up in her Brownie Scout uniform (beret and all), and from the looks of it, I thought it was funnier than she did. I can't tell if I was doing that same knee-point under the skirt, but I'm willing to bet I was. 

Today, I live in Long Beach, CA and I've been cutting and styling hair for years.

Hey, imagine that - a gay hairstylist! Weird, huh? :)

Dennis' first, famous-person same sex crush:
Mario Lopez (on "Saved By The Bell")
And he just keeps getting better!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet

It's OUR nature, our TRUTH

They say a picture is worth 1,000 words.

And this picture inspired this entire project!

See more about this photo and the blog HERE, 
or in my CNN video HERE
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book

Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet