Kellie

Kellie, age 4
Ector, TX (1973)

When I was little, I often wondered how long it would be until I was big enough to drive that tractor. That day I was obviously too little, so I played on it and sang "Delta Dawn" by Helen Reddy. I don't remember doing it, but I know that is the song, because my lovely mother noted it on the back of the picture.

When I was in 2nd grade my teacher called my parents in and told them she thought I was gay. I suppose I was posturing in a way that was too masculine for her liking. I never knew of this accusation, or even what "gay" was at that time. But when I came out in my mid 20's, my mother told me about it.

I had frequent crushes on girls - sometimes my best friend, but not always - mainly starting in high school. I had 3 different boyfriends then and into college, but they just served the purpose of someone to go to events and dances with.

I kept my sexuality under tight wraps until I was in graduate school. The only hard part about coming out was watching my parents cry. And cry, they did.
But they came around a few months later.

Today, I am a completely out gay in a smallish town in Texas. I've been called a dyke on a few dozen occasions. "That's Dr. Dyke to you," I respond, with a smile. I love being gay, and I can't begin to imagine being any other way.

When I look at this photo now, I think about how big that tractor seemed to me back then. As a grown-up, on occasion, I drive much bigger tractors than this.

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Drew

Drew, age 6
Pleasant, PA (1970)

I clearly remember when I was very young, I saw a TV toothpaste commercial, showing a mom, dad, and kids who had no cavities by brushing with Crest. Watching that commercial, I knew in my heart my life would be nothing like that. In other words, a life with no wife, and no kids.

It was scary, because I had no idea what was waiting for me instead. That, in essence, was the story of my childhood. I couldn't imagine what
I was going to grow up to become.

So I read every book I could get my hands on, hoping to find any possible way for me to become a man.

Our mom died just before I turned 4.
But lucky for me, I had a sister, 13-years my senior. She was a gorgeous hippie chick in her mid-20's, with tons of men chasing her.

Every Friday night, she took me out roller skating or to the movies. She was the first person who I came out to at age 17, even though I didn't mean to do that.

She made a point of introducing me to friends of hers who were gay and lesbian. And they were balanced, happy, loved, and loving adults. Slowly, I came to understand that there was, or there would be, a place for me in the adult world.

Today, I live in the California desert with the man I love and our two dogs.
I've had an amazing and wonderful life, and I'm sure that there is more to come.

Alas, though: Despite all the brushing and flossing I do, I have never once in my life gone to the dentist and been free of a cavity.

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Gordon

Gordon, age 5
Caneadea, New York (1959)

Looking at this photo, I have more questions than answers. Who is that man? He looks exactly like my father. And, he looks like a loving dad spending quality time with my sister and me. But, I certainly don't remember him ever doing anything like that. Notice the grumpy look on my face, testifying to the fact that I was coerced into posing for this, when all I wanted to do was to get away.

My mother abandoned us when I was about 10-years old. My father was a spoiled only child who, as an adult, was never around kids until he married late in life, and then we came along. He was never mean or strict, but he was never close or affectionate, either. And he never taught me anything.

But, I can't blame him. He simply didn't know what to do with kids.

Did he know that I was gay? Probably.
But he never said anything, and I never felt the need to say anything myself.

I went to a very small school where I don't remember ever hearing the word, "gay." So, I can look back and be thankful that I was never bullied. In class,
I always sat among the girls, where I felt like I fit in.

I wasn't interested in anything that the boys were talking about.
Not surprisingly, I was terrible at sports and hated gym class.

It's hard to say when it was that I first knew that I was gay. I can remember,
as a young teenager, my attraction to an underwear model whose picture I saw in a catalog. But, I didn't know that my feelings meant anything unusual.

Gordon's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Richard Egan (in "A Summer Place")
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Eduardo

Eduardo, age 5
Queens, NY (1995)

My childhood was a humble one. I lived in a one-bedroom apartment with my mom, dad, and sister. My elementary school was about 5 blocks from home, and that's where this picture was taken. I can't find the uncropped photo, but my sister's stroller is what I'm leaning on for this diva pose.

I chose this pic because, in addition to the pose, it was around this age I noticed how "different" I was.

In the 3rd grade, I was some sort of Hawaiian character in our class play. I, of course, put on my outfit (complete with a grass skirt) and decided to swing my hips for my parents. You know, just like the women on TV.

Their reaction? My dad said "girls dance like that" while my mom just laughed it off.

I would always play with girls on the playground, while I tried to become "best friends" with the cutest guy in my grade.

At this age, I was obsessed with the Power Rangers, specifically the Red one. When he left the series,
I was devastated and never watched the show again.


Looking at this picture is refreshing. I've grown a lot and I've had my fair share of experiences – some of them bad. Bad enough to make me wonder if I've lost a bit of who I used to be.

But this photo also reassures me that I am the same person today that I was when I was 5: All smiles, carefree, excited, and with a bit of 'tude.

Also now, I'm a part of BornLikeThis.org, which is a safe space created for youth, by youth. We exist for those who, like ourselves, openly identify as members of the LGBTQ community, and who realize they were born like this, too – whatever their personal "this" might be.

My advice to others is to be yourself.
And to know that there will always be someone there for you.

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Jamie

Jamie, age 8
Coolum Beach, NSW, Australia (2004)

I know I'm a fair bit younger than most of the people here, but I figure that you're never too young to be proud. This is me and my friend Amber, hanging out after a theater production I was in. While I don't wear makeup in general, this photo shows who I am: A fun, proud, and slightly flamboyant person.

I kind of always knew I was gay, I just never knew the word for it.
Through grade school and even in high school, I had multiple girlfriends,
and I didn't think anything of it. I came out in 10th grade to most of my friends and family, and they weren't surprised at all.

All of my friends are fine with me being gay, and so is most of my family.
There is of course the expected bantering at school, but it's nothing really.

Looking back at this picture, as a wise beyond my years young man,
I can see I was happy then. Which even now, makes me happy.

My message to everyone who is gay, straight or another genre not mentioned:
Don't worry about who you are. At the end of the day, life's too short to care about whether or not people like you.

Thanks for your time. I really love your blog!

Jamie's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Neil Patrick Harris
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Brooke

Brooke, age 12
Cottonwood, CA (1994)

I grew up in a small town in N. California. I first knew I was different at age 6, when I told someone on the school bus that I wished I was a boy. I also vaguely remember having a moment then, when I learned what being gay meant. And I wondered if I was, despite not having feelings of attraction towards either gender.

Wait, I think I take that back...

In hindsight, I'm pretty sure buying my 2nd grade teacher's aide a massive cubic zirconium ring was an attempt to woo her.

It didn't work, but she was outta my league anyway. And I did have other crushes, too: My 4th grade teacher - *swoon* - and a summer camp counselor.

I've always been a major "tomboy" and I've always prided myself on my athleticism.

I started playing basketball at the age of 8, and was the only girl on the team. Although, my coach thought he had an all boy team.

I have very early memories of people always confusing my gender with male, even before I cut my hair. While on the inside I felt that my short hair was what I wanted, I was still uncomfortable with people's reactions to my appearance.

Thankfully, I've finally grown into my skin. I feel comfortable with who I am, despite others being confused by my masculine appearance.

Today, I'm grateful for a loving family that only cares about my happiness, and who have been very supportive throughout my coming out process. I couldn't be happier with where I am in life, including marrying my fiance' this fall.

Brooke's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Helen Hunt (on "Highway To Heaven")
Susan Sarandon (in "The Client")
I envied that boy, and I wanted her to be my lawyer
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"