A photo/essay project of LGBTQ adults sharing childhood photos/stories (ages 2 to 12), reflecting the memories and early beginnings of their innate selves. Nurture allows what nature endows!
Andrew, age 3 Weston-Super-Mare, Somerset UK (1988)
The picture shows me a little disheveled looking. I don't think I look much different these days, though my little brother here has changed a lot! I suppose the earliest sign that I was gay was that out of the four sons she had, my mother always described me saying, "He was never any trouble at all."
I was a very gentle, sensitive child. Unlike my little brother, who was an absolute nightmare who never stopped screaming and crying! I knew I was gay from the get-go, and it sometimes caused me embarrassment. Like entering a flower arranging competition at school, simply because I wanted to arrange flowers.
Why? Because I loved flowers!
And I didn't think anyone would notice I was the only boy to enter a flower arranging competition. Unfortunately, for me, I won!
I had to accept a prize in front of the whole school. And because I was a boy, I think some bitter parents bypassed the early signs I was gay. I think they assumed my mother had created the arrangement, and I was simply cheating.
Ironically, my dad had picked the flowers, but it was all arranged by myself.
The obvious "gay" behaviors I exhibited were never discouraged by my family. At my grade school, I was friends with everyone in my class, and we all loved each other. So I never felt that I should be deeply worried about being different. Although, I was definitely aware of it.
It wasn't until Jr. High when things changed and I realized my gayness was something to not draw attention to, despite it targeting me for daily insults.
Today I can say I know that things do get better as you get older. And now I hope sometimes to bump into old bullies from school and not be scared of being gay.
It's such a liberation, not being embarrassed or ashamed anymore.
Growing up one of my favorite places was the Richard Simmons workout studio. Tucked away in a strip mall in our suburb between a Chinese restaurant and a Baskin Robbins, it was aptly called, “Slimmons.” My mom would take me with her after work, but I didn’t join the other kids in the play area. I’d sit in the back and watch the overweight women flapping their arms in the air as they sweated to the oldies. I memorized the routines, so sometimes I’d join in the fun. After class, we’d pick up Chinese take out and a pint of Rocky Road for dinner.
One evening, I had to use the bathroom. On the bathroom wall was a large poster of Richard Simons dressed in his iconic red striped shorts and rhinestone studded tank top.
I loved and hated Richard Simmons at the same time.
I appreciated him for his flamboyant exuberance, but I was also embarrassed by it.
I sat down on the toilet and grabbed the magazine on top of the stack – Muscle and Fitness. I thumbed through the pages looking at pictures of scantily clad, bronzed men and women.
But when I reached the centerfold, I was paralyzed.
The left side of the page was a woman in a gold bikini flexing her biceps. Meh! On the right was a man in a royal blue Speedo holding a bar bell over his head.
My eyes raced over the picture of the woman, without so much as a glance, and landed in the center of the right page - directly on the man's Speedo bulge. I felt a spark, a tingle, a jump. This caught me off guard and I quickly looked up.
My eyes landed on Richard Simmons' photo again - and he glared at me like he knew my dirty little secret. So I shifted my gaze back to the magazine first to the left side, at the woman. Again, I felt nothing. I then looked back to the right, at the man - and I sure felt something.
"No,” I thought, “this can’t be right...” I repeated the steps several times:
Richard, Woman, Man - Richard, Woman, Man.
And it was at that moment - as I took a dump at Slimmons, with Richard glaring at me - that confirmed what I had been trying to suppress for years:
I was definitely gay! Editor's note: you might remember Shaun from THIS brilliance! :)
I was about age 11 in this photo of me and my siblings on vacation. It's hard to believe, but there is three years between me and my older sister on the right. And the rest of us are only one year apart!
As for me, I grew up very fast. And I always knew I was gay. But looking back at this pic, I don't understand how it was a shock to my parents when I came out.
My siblings knew I was gay right from the start. When I told my parents, they were very accepting to me and my friends. All in all, life was good.
That was so long ago, that in this day and age, it just breaks my heart how some parents can just toss their kids out of their lives for being gay.
We've come such a long way, but we still have a long way to go. Today, I'm 56 years old and living a wonderful life in fabulous Las Vegas.
I'm too queer to be straight, yet too straight to be queer.
I grew up as a huge tomboy, always wanting to play with Legos and GI Joe dolls, but my parents insisted I have a bunch of "girly" toys instead.
I was always jealous of my younger brothers, who were both really into cars, Legos and Nerf guns. I was very unlike my younger sister, who adored frills, pink, and wearing makeup. Thus my mother always complained I wasn't feminine enough.
I always played "doctor" with the neighborhood girls, having my head against their chest.
The one who got away, was this beautiful girl named Alyssa. We were both really into each other, and I wanted her to be my girlfriend.
Eventually, I stopped talking to her, as she had gotten back with her boyfriend. It wasn't until years later she told me she had a huge crush on me, too.
Frustrating.
I haven't came out as bisexual to my family yet as they are homophobic. I hear the words "It's just a phase!" or "Are you sure you're not just gay?" all the time.
Nope, I'm not "just gay," as I am crazy in love with my loving boyfriend, who just sees me as a wonderful person. No labels needed!
During my teenage years, I wasn't popular. I didn't have a supportive family and I didn't have many friends. And growing up with the hidden identity of being an LGBT kid was rough, especially once I tried to start dating.
As I was rejected by everyone around me, I quickly got attached to guys who showed me any kind of attention. Yet I felt alone in the world, as if no one understood what it was I was going through.
After a little bit of growing up, I finally met a guy who was different.
He was so sweet, caring, and genuine.
I didn't know what to expect, especially being so used to heartbreak and pain.
But he changed that within me. He taught me how to love and be loved.
He showed me what it was like to be free in my body. And then he PROPOSED!
We have been happily married 3 years now.
My advice for any other LGBT kids who were/are in my kind of situation, I just need you to know things will get better! Life can be very tough and strange, but there's happiness waiting for you.
Keep your beautiful heads up, hang on to your strength and show the world who and what you are: FREE!
