Ashton

Ashton, age 5
Athens, Georgia (1989)

It was all The Nutcracker's fault. Well, that and my sister's tap shoes. Every Christmas since the age of 1, my family would drive to Atlanta, stay one night in the grandest hotel, and see The Nutcracker at "The Fabulous Fox Theatre"

It was the grandest of occasions, and the best part was dressing up. I'd wear white buck shoes, seersucker pants, suspenders - and therefore felt invincible.

It was my gay childhood version of the Superhero Costume.

In those rags, no one could stop the Sugar Plum Fairy from leaping out of me - and down the stairs, across the front lawn and all the way through the lobby of the glitzy Ritz Carlton.

I was spoiled rotten with love and support. Today, I'm a set designer living in New York City.


And I have this life because my parents knew exactly how to channel my desires into a constructive path for myself. So, thanks to my Mom & Dad - who are celebrating their 39th wedding anniversary this year!
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Click - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Lynn

Lynn, age 5
Clovis, New Mexico (1961)

Both my parents thought I was adorable, though not as much as I did. That's my dog Queenie is in this photo with me. I was in 2nd grade when I knew I was attracted to boys. His name was Butch and he had a sweet blonde flat top haircut, and was a little stocky. And I thought singer Bobby Sherman was dreamy!

By 7th grade I was teased about being queer by other kids. My parents (mainly my father) started having trouble with my lack of masculinity in Jr. High.

Not only was I gay, I was fat - the double curse.

I was horribly beaten in Physical Education class. Even the PE teacher called me a pansy! I had to pay them to stop, and I relentlessly tried getting out of going to the class.

My middle school years really beat me down.

At age 21, after 3 years at a fundamentalist Christian college, I came out. At age 22 I came out to my mother when I was in the hospital and on narcotics.

She had no idea and said:
'We mustn't tell your father. And who did this to you?'

She was sure that my being gay was her "fault."

I adore this photo and the sheer luxury I had to express myself. But that freedom was soon taken away and not rediscovered until many years later. Today, I am a very well respected psychiatric nurse practitioner and my life's work is to comfort people with challenging lives. Part of that includes supporting all kinds of people to be exactly who they are meant to be.

My message to young LGBTQ kids is to be patient.

Do all you can do to be your genuine self. The more truth you tell, the happier you will be. Who you are matters, and tell yourself that truth first.

No matter how trapped you may feel, it will get better. No man, woman, religious leader, politician, or teacher can define who you are. ONLY YOU define who you are. Be YOU and be proud, and keep a sense of humor.
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Click - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Mark

Mark, age 7
Crawfordsville, Indiana (1971)

That's me pictured on the left. Need I say anything more???

I'm here with my little sister, as we had just returned from a Halloween celebration at the local mall.

And check this out: I won a transistor radio for "Best Costume!"

Am I convinced this positive reinforcement is responsible for my gayness?

Yes! :)

Though it was not my mom's intention at the time,
I lovingly refer to this picture as "Lady and The Tramp."
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"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Melanie

Melanie, age 6
Downey, California (1970)

This was me at Christmas, the first year I discovered Santa Claus was basically a hoax perpetrated by generations of traditional family propagandists and greedy department stores. You can tell by my expression how excited I was about that inflatable reindeer and pink nightgown...

Every year I'd receive typical "girly" gifts when what I really wanted was the Hot Wheels® Mongoose & Snake Race Set.

I wore boys' clothes and shoes, so of course I wanted boys' TOYS! But noooo - Barbie dolls and plush toys were all I got.

But Stephen the neighbor boy had the Hot Wheels® sets, and he often let me play with them.

Stephen also eventually gave me my first kiss, which was quite thrilling. But wait, you say - that means I must be straight!

Well, not purely. See, I hated (and still despise) most things feminine.

I never wanted to get married, have kids, or become domesticated. That all sounded like absolute misery to me. I never wanted to be associated with "the weaker sex" - so I basically consider myself a gay male trapped in a female body.

The message I would impart to LGBTQ youth is that it is vital to live your life being true to yourself first. That is a truth that spans all human conditions.

Be true to who you are and what you desire in life, regardless of who objects to it. It takes a lot of courage to do, but you will develop that strength each time you exercise your right to be yourself.

Staying to true to you is the only way you will find the true joy in life.
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"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Sarah

Sarah, age 3
Nampa, Idaho (1973)

I remember this Christmas well. I sat on Santa's lap at the mall and asked for a chainsaw. He looked pretty confused according to my mom, but it must have made an impression - because it's what I got! My eyes are a little red in the photo from crying, because I had to wear a dress.

Growing up in Idaho, I didn't know I was gay. But I knew "gay" was a derogatory term.

I knew I liked girls since I can remember and needed to hide it. I also remember my my first celebrity crush was Samantha on "Bewitched."

Right around the time of this photo I got a boy's style haircut and had the kids convinced I was a boy.

I had little girlfriends who would make me the husband when they played house.

I even had a girlfriend in kindergarten and we'd kiss on the bus.

During 1st grade, I was outed by the bus driver as a girl. He told everyone, "Sarah is a girl's name! You are a girl!" I was mortified. I eventually gave up the charade, but school was tough. I always felt like a freak who didn't fit in.

I moved to Los Angeles once I graduated school and finally felt at home for the first time in my life. I'm very happy and comfortable with myself now as I don't have to pretend anymore. And I've been with my wife for almost 17 years now.
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"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Jason

Jason, age 7
Brush Valley, Pennsylvania (1976)

Back in the 70's, we always got the necessities for Christmas: clothes, school supplies, and shoes. AND, one special thing from our Santa wish list. All I wanted for Christmas that year was the Lynda Carter "Wonder Woman" doll. And you have never seen a child so happy as the Christmas Day when I opened my "special" present, and there she was - WONDER WOMAN!!!

As for school, it was not easy for me. Throughout grade school and high school I was picked on and bullied and called names I would really rather not say. But I SURVIVED! I graduated high school in 1987 with a graduating class of 167 seniors. And I thought I would never want to see any of them again.

I immediately moved to Tampa, FL and to no one's surprise, I "came out." I went back to college and moved into the business field. Now, a quarter century later I work for a multi-billion dollar healthcare firm.

On Facebook in 2009, I started seeing people I went to high school with, and we began talking. I found out that those who picked on me the worst had a story of their own (abusive homes, sexual assault, drug problems). In November, we had our 25th HS Reunion. The people I thought I would never want to see again gave me such a wonderful evening, that we didn't stop talking until 5:00am!

My message for LGBTQ kids today is:

Right now you are on but one path. This path may seem insurmountable, but if you push through, there will be thousands and millions of paths to choose. And if none of those paths are for you, then pave your own!

You can do anything you set your mind to. Do not let anyone tell you it cannot be done, or there is no hope. I am just one of millions, and I found my path.

I am surrounded by a wonderful family (not all necessarily blood family), incredible friends, and the satisfaction of know that I SURVIVED, I have LIVED, and that I have no regrets.

Be exactly who you are and be PROUD!
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"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Mark

Mark, age 3
St. Paul, Minnesota (1965)

In this picture I had just asked this Santa for "Chatty Cathy's Brother". He was a doll that taught you how to dress and tie your shoes.

Talk about the perfect doll for a little gay boy!

My father was dying and pleaded with my mom not to buy me that doll.

Luckily for me, my uncle had overheard my request and he wrapped it and hid it under the tree for me.

I was so excited on Christmas when I unwrapped the "Brudder" doll - I couldn't pronounce brother - and it was the best Christmas ever!
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"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Greg

Greg, age 2
Plano, Illinois (1974)

This photo was taken at my grandma's house, where I remember listening to
Judy Garland's "Send My Baby Back to Me" on a 78-rpm record in her basement. On the left I have my Ken doll as I'm coveting my sister's Barbie Dream House that she got that day. I couldn't even take my eyes off of it posing for a photo! And as you can see, she's trying to get me to face the camera.

I first realized I was "different" in 7th grade. I prayed that it wasn't true and that I would change, but I just didn't find girls attractive. I didn't really know what gay meant though, so I thought maybe I was supposed to have been born a girl.
I was pretty tormented emotionally, and I felt depressed.

My same-sex crushes were the boys on "Eight Is Enough" - all of them. My mom tells me I was in love with Chastity Bono, so go figure. Closeted through high school, I don’t remember being picked on for being gay. But, I'd been bullied and teased because of my size and lack of athletic interest and ability.

When I turned 25, I was given the greatest gift: self-acceptance. And I remember feeling as though a huge weight had been lifted. Upon reflection, I realized that I had always been gay and soon began coming out to friends and family, and I finally came out to my mom 3 years ago.

Today, I live as an openly gay man. I've been told by straight men that they respect me for being who I am, and that makes me feel great. I feel that I should use my position to educate others, to pave the way for future LGBTQ kids so they don't have the fear of being "found out" that they're gay.

I was born this way, and I love it!
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 "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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"The 12 Gays Of Christmas" Book Giveaway!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

As a special gift for all your support, we present
"The 12 Gays Of Christmas" book giveaway!

Here, watch the video for more information:

So here's what we need you to do:

1) Click HERE for more intructions on how to submit to the blog
2) Find a childhood photo of you related to the holiday season
3) Write up your story or memories related to the photo or holidays
4) Send your photo and story to us ASAP to be posted here!

Did you ask for a special toy you wanted as a gay kid that you never got?
Did your siblings get a gift that YOU really wanted but couldn't ask for?
Did your parents discourage you from asking for the "wrong" kind of gift?
Did your parents surprise you with a gift that you never thought they'd buy?
Did you choose Christmas or the holidays to come out? If so, how did it go?
Do you have an especially memorable story related to Santa Claus?

Those are all things we want to hear about! Of course, this isn't only limited to those who celebrate Christmas. Tell us your Hanukkah stories too - and/or anything related to how YOU celebrated the holiday season as an LGBTQ kid.
But don't delay - the deadline for submissions is Thurs., December 20th!

We'll pick our favorite submissions and those people will WIN a copy of the
"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book,
courtesy of Quirk Books!

THANKS FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT!
AND HAVE A VERY MERRY 'N GAY HOLIDAY!

_____________________________________________________

"Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Cal

Cal, age 5
Manchester, Maryland (1987)

I'm pictured on the right with my pants tucked into my boots so you could see how pretty they were. I was always told, 'Boys don't tuck their jeans into their boots, girls do.' I just know I always felt more comfortable doing things my way!

I like how happy I look in this picture with my friends. This is one of many pictures that just scream, "Come on! Were you surprised I'm gay? Really?" Recently I gathered my pictures from birth through high school. In this picture you see my smile, and see that I am happy.

But I soon realized I was different and knew I was gay. Those of us born this way have always known it on some level. Unfortunately, the older I got the more my smile went away. And that breaks my heart. I look at my pictures and I feel so much pain for a little boy that just wanted to be loved so badly.

If there is one good thing I can say and ask of anyone who reads this, it is this:

If parents notice their kids or their friends' kids aren't smiling anymore, find out why. And show them some love. Whenever you suspect that someone just needs some love, I would say 99% of the time it's an accurate intuition.

I hope that somehow my story will touch even one person to reach out and help someone's smile last longer than mine did. All it takes is a few minutes to extend love to someone, especially a child that is begging to be loved.
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  "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Frank

Frank, age 10
Patton, Pennsylvania (1976)

Well, I think we can safely say by the age of 10 I was OUT! This photo was taken by a photographer from my home town newspaper. My uncle actually owned the newspaper business and my mother worked in the dark room.

Needless to say, when my mother was developing the film that afternoon, she was in shock!

The photographer knew who I was under my granny's wig and red mint, lipstick toothpaste. And of course, my sister's square dancing dress. None other than her co-worker's son! She couldn't resist capturing this moment on film.

Now, as a family we all laugh about this particular Halloween evening. I guess you could say it was my first Gay Pride Parade!

Both of my parent's were gone for the evening and left my brother in charge of babysitting me.


He went out to play with his friends and I was left to my own accord. So this
"ladygirl boy trying to be queer" was my shining LGBTQ moment from the 70's.

 I am one of the lucky ones whose parents let me be myself, and who supported me as much as they could throughout my childhood.

My advice to everyone is to be who you are and don't deviate for anyone!
YOU are the BEST YOU there is!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Sofía

Sofía, age 2
Villa Mercedes, San Luis, Argentina (1987)

I remember as if it were yesterday when I said to my dad, "Paint a beard and mustache on my face." And I was so happy with my manly beard.

When I was 3 years old in kindergarten, my teacher told everyone to pick a card: yellow or pink for the girls, and blue or green for the boys. And I wanted green!

She tried to explain that I was a girl so I had to pick pink or yellow.
"I'm a girl, and I want green," I said.

I always felt "different" from the other girls, and I never liked boys.
I always felt a connection to girls, but it was all unconscious. It was if it was all a secret, even to myself.

At the age of 16 I realized that I was in love with my female best friend.

But as I was so scared, I never acted on those feelings. However, thanks to her,
I could start living my life as the lesbian I am. And it all finally became clear!

Now at age 26, I'm in love an enjoying every part of it with a girl who never thought she could love another girl. She's a very special person in my life, and we connected instantly when we met. I love the way she holds my hand when we walk down the street. It brings me peace.

I am glad that I always remained true to myself, and that I never tried to be with a boy, just so that my family or friends would accept me. Today they all accept and love me for who I am. Even my grandmother asks me, "How is your girlfriend?" and that means the world to me.

Morrissey once sang: "And if the people stare, then the people stare, I really don't know and I really don't care. There's no shame..." And that's my story today, too.
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Where To Get The Book

Hey everyone!

So the "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book has been out for almost a month now, and the response has been just amazing! It's getting some great reviews (both print and online) and on Amazon, and the feedback about the project is so positive and wonderful to see. I really appreciate it all!

You can find the book in all indie and large bookstores, Urban Outfitters,

and online in the various links too:

Amazon US - Amazon Canada - Amazon UK - Amazon Italy

Barnes & Noble - Random House - Target - Indigo Canada

Tower Records - Urban Outfitters - Good Reads - iTunes

If you already have the book and want to share your thoughts about it, please write up your own review on Amazon or any of those links.  Reviews and traffic to those links really help keep the book visible and high on their new release charts.

On Sunday, November 4th at Palm Springs Pride,

Erasure's Andy Bell joined me for an incredible book signing for about 60 people, and Q-Trading Books sold out of all the copies they had!

Here's a photo of Andy and I at the signing:

And look how cute Andy Bell was as a wee lad.

You can read Andy's story inside the book!

Many, many thanks to everyone for supporting this project!
xo - Paul V.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PXUArQvR6p4

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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Bryant

Bryant, age 7
Plantation, Florida (1993)

I was one of the lucky ones with my family. From a very early age, my mother knew she had a gay son. She always tells the story of how I used to be obsessed with "The Little Mermaid" and how I REALLY wanted the Ariel Barbie doll.

Although my dad didn't approve, she bought the doll for my birthday.

And I took Ariel with me just about everywhere: to the store, to school for show and tell, and to our family gatherings.

One day we went to the beach and Ariel was right by my side. I wanted to go swimming in the ocean and it's only natural that I wanted to take my mermaid doll for a swim.

Unfortunately, due to a huge wave I lost grip of my beloved doll, and she was taken out to sea.


My dad swam out to try to save her, but it was too late. I was crushed and I cried for days. My mom said she was home under the sea, but I just couldn't get over it.

The next day I woke up to find a new Ariel Barbie and a note from my mother that said, "Look who came home!!!" And all was right in the world again.
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay Book!

Hey everyone! TODAY IS THE DAY!

My "Born This Way: Real Stories Of Growing Up Gay" book came out today, Tuesday October 9th! I am beyond thrilled, excited, and proud that I can share my book with all of you, and the world.

Huge thanks to everyone who shared their photo and story with me, and much gratitude for everyone who supported this project. It means everything!

Many of you fellow bloggers wrote about this blog very early on, and you are the reason there was so much buzz for BornThisWayBlog.com from the very beginning. So both myself and Quirk Books would like to make sure you can receive a complimentary copy of the book to review!

So to get your own review copy, here’s what to do: *

1. Email Eric Smith at: eric AT quirkbooks DOT COM. Send him your blog name, the URL of your blog, and your name. Eric is very nice. You'll like him, I promise.

2. Post your book review anytime during the months of October and November.

3. On the review page, please link to the book on Amazon and Barnes & Noble,
to Quirk Book's website, and to me - yours truly at BornThisWayBlog.com

And it's that easy!

I hope the rest of you will grab yourself a copy of the book, and help spread the word about it. Especially for "National Coming Out Day" on October 11th.

The book is also available online on Amazon and Barnes & Noble:
www.amazon.com/gp/product/1594745994/ref=as_li_ss_tl
www.barnesandnoble.com/w/born-this-way-paul-vitagliano

MANY MANY THANKS!
Paul V., your blogmaster and author

* Please note that there are a limited number of books available for review, so make sure you email Mr. Eric as soon as you can!

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