Bailey

Bailey, age 10

Carlsbad, California (1997)

This photo was shot at a dance recital. I was inspired by Fred Astaire and my grandmother to start dancing. I used to LOVE wearing costumes, putting on makeup, and wearing my grandmother's heels and stockings. It was an innocent moment for me, because I wasn't aware that people were judging me. I just knew what I liked and I was proud to express that.

"One! Singular sensation, every little step you take"

I think I first felt "different" at 6, when I first started dancing. It opened me up to a whole world of expression and gave me the freedom to be myself.

I'd watch old musicals, inspired by the fashion my favorite characters wore, and I'd try to emulate their style.

I loved musicals like Chicago, Barkleys Of Broadway, Gypsy, Singing In The Rain, Fosse, Cabaret, All That Jazz, Anything Goes, Grease (1 and 2), Hairspray, Puttin On The Ritz, & Rocky Horror Picture Show.

One example of very eccentric clothing I'd wear to school was an outfit that was a cross between Olivia Newton-John and John Travolta in Grease:

Red velvet shoes or black leather disco boots, velvet bell-bottoms, tight-fitting white shirt, and black leather jacket.

I'd get teased and made fun of in school and kids never really understood why I dressed that way. It was a moment I realized I would just continue to pour my heart and energy all into my dancing and artwork. That helped me focus on being who I wanted to be.

Later in the early 2K's, I loved music like Spice Girls, Britney Spears, No Doubt, The Cranberries, The Pixies etc. I remember standing in line for the Spice Girls dolls when they came out - I had to have all of them!

Seeing this pic now reminds me of who I am and who I will always be. To this day, I like the color red and I'm completely enthralled with clothing and costumes. I work as a fashion stylist, and my passion and taste for those things has really never changed. It's great to see that I was truly born this way!

My family was always really supportive of me being a dancer. I was raised by my grandparents and my Grandmother was just as enthralled by dancing and the fashion. She'd spend hours at the dance studio watching me dance, and would give up her whole life to see me happy. I owe a lot to her and her support.

I would like to say to the youth to keep on doing what you want to do. Never let anyone suppress your freedom to express who you are. You never know what sort of creative outlet you can explore, unless you're honest with yourself, and who you are as a person.

You can't ever let society tell you what is right and what is wrong - you have to find that out for yourself. There are others out there just like you, so embrace the fact that you are special, and own it. It's not every day a kid like you is born, and soon the world will understand and cherish you. It's not your fault that people don't understand what they soon will learn to love.

Bailey's first, same sex crush:

A boy who lived next door. We'd explore each others bodies, but neither of us knew what being gay meant. But, the connection felt so right and strong.

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
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Johnny

Johnny, age 10

St. Clair Shores, Michigan (1989)

That's me on the left, as if you had to guess. For sure, my favorite memories from childhood are the times I spent at my Grandma's house. She was the most loving woman. She'd watch her soaps, read her Star Magazines, play cards with us, and let us run free and be kids. She had the softest flabby skin hanging under her biceps. You know, that amazing chubby grandma skin. So cozy.

"Taken in Grandma's kitchen"

While the other grandkids were in the basement rummaging through our Grandpa's tools and war stuff, I was upstairs drooling over nightgowns and jewelry. The phrase "in the closet" has real meaning to me and my gay discovery.

For you see, inside Grandma's closet, hung the threads to my sexuality.

I remember how her clothes smelled, and how the fabrics felt so soft and feminine. Her bras, slips, and perfume were heaven and happiness to me.
The first thing I'd do when dressing up was the old towel-head-wrap trick, as evidenced in the pic. I think I might even be wearing some lipstick and blush.

It'd give me instant long girl hair. It would constantly fall down as I was getting dressed, but I loved the hassle of putting it back up, and throwing it over my shoulders. I'd then pick out a nightgown as a dress, and sometimes belt it, or just let it flow. Then earrings, necklace, rings, and a handbag. And I loved going through her purses and finding candies, coupons, and Bingo blotters.

I'd even rock Grandma's chunky, sensible-heel slippers, so I could manage my way up and down the long hallway - aka my catwalk. There was a huge painting of the Blessed Mary at the end of the hallway. She was so bitchy and holy looking in the painting, so I'd use that as my motivation for my runway walk.

My Grandma was cool as hell. She'd just smile, kiss me on the cheek, and tell me how beautiful I looked, as she continued making me a sandwich: peanut butter, jelly, ham, and Miracle Whip on white bread. MY FAVORITE! She'd cut it in triangles for me. Small bites, like a lady should.

My Grandpa was cool about all this too, but I mostly avoided him while all dragged out in Grandma's pajamas. I LOVED those times I spent playing dress up. It was for sure my first taste of GAY, but definitely NOT my last.

I still love wrapping a towel around my head and pretending I have long hair, and realize the irony that my job in life now as an adult, is to play dress up with pop stars and actresses. Sort of perfect, actually.

I have an amazing family, amazing friends, and coming out was easier then I could have ever imagined. Not one person turned their back on me. Only open arms, and open closets. Ha ha!

And there ain't no shame in the gay game, y'all - we are all human. How boring would life be if we were all the same? So thanks Grandma, for letting me explore my sexuality in your closet. For it was there that I discovered a part of me that I could be proud enough to let the world see.

In your nightgown and heels, of course.

Johnny's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Mark-Paul Gosselaar ("Saved By The Bell")

I'd dream of sleepovers and BJ's under that 80's, pop-art print comforter that graced my twin bed.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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JC

JC, age 5

Manila, Philippines (1986)

"Put a ring on THIS, Beyonce!"

Here I am, fierce at age 5!

It was a big family gathering here in the Philippines. The kids were prodded by the grown ups to perform something, and guess who stepped up?

I always knew I was different from other boys, even at an early age. And this photo definitely proves it.

Looking at it now as a 31 year old, it only reaffirms what I’ve always believed - that my being gay was not a choice.

I didn’t wake up one day and say, 'Hey I think I’m going to be gay starting today.'

Because the truth of the matter is, I was born this way.

So to all the young ones who are still coming to terms with their homosexuality,
I dare say: don’t hate your selves.

There’s nothing wrong with you, my sweet child.

Embrace your truth and celebrate it.
The sooner you do, the sooner you'll enjoy life. And there's so much to enjoy.

JC's first, famous-person same sex crush:

David Mendenhall (actor, "Over The Top")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Ron

Ron, age 7

Gemert, Holland (1967)

I'm on the right in the pic, and the other boy is Johnny. I remember that we were very good friends, but one of the few things we disagreed on was the fact that Johnny always wanted to be 'the mother' when we "played house" back then.
And here, Johnny's playing with my sister's doll.

You see, I also wanted to play the 'mother' too,  but Johnny was very clear and dominant about it. Well, Johnny is now Joyce  - a transgendered woman.
He had his sex-change over 20 years ago, is now 51, and happy being a woman.

I always knew that I was gay, and I used to stare at the male body for as long as I can remember. I was so fascinated by men back then - and still am - that it was never a shock to me that I'm gay. It shocked some people around me though, but that is their problem.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Kelly Jo

Kelly Jo, age 10
Seabrook, TX (1975)

On the day this pic was shot, I didn't tell my Mom it was school-photo day, and I dressed myself! Everything was great until 3 months later, when the large package of photos came in the mail. But it was worth it!!

 I always had a bad reaction with dresses. The thought of being made to get into one gave me the cold sweats.

I'm 45 now, and still don't own one...

When you're young, you're told a lot of things: How to act, what to do, what to believe, how to feel. Then with time you find out what really matters to YOU.

Yes, it was hard growing up gay.
But looking back now, I wouldn't change a thing.

It made me who I am today:
Strong, Creative, Caring.

Kelly Jo's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Pam Dawber (Mindy on "Mork & Mindy")
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Jason

Jason, age 9

Glendale, Arizona (1984)

On the day of this pic, I remember being extremely annoyed that I had left the Michael Jackson button on. My brother found my zeal for pop stars and dancing 'really girly.' He warned me before I left the house not to 'leave that faggy looking button on' for my school photo. 'Like I would forget to take it off!' is probably what I fired back at him. Of course I left it on, and now my childhood love of MJ is forever immortalized in my 4th-grade class photo.

I always felt different as a child, but I didn't have a name for it. Everyone else sure did, though!

Starting in 4th grade, all the kids had many names for my difference: fag, gay, homo, and any other pejorative term they came up with.

It was until I graduated high school that I allowed myself to explore my sexuality for myself, and then eureka! - those kids were correct all along!

Looking back, I wish I'd been more aware of my sexuality sooner, so I could have taken the teasing in stride, or felt I could have fought back.

As it was, I found the teasing and bullying unfair and spent years trying to act more masculine. Naturally, it didn't work and I'm just as much a limp-wristed, fashion-loving homo as ever! See the proof HERE.
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Jason's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Mackenzie Astin (Andy on "The Facts Of Life")

This was my absolute favorite show while growing up.