Alyson

Alyson, age 6

San Antonio, Texas (1991)

My little sister is the short one in the photo, who came out 5 years before I did. The photo was taken before either of us knew what it meant to be gay. It's the first time walking to the school bus stop by ourselves for the first day of school.

I'm dyslexic and always felt different, yet it took a while for me to allow myself to know I was gay - even if I was consistently "gender queer."

I remember worrying about my attraction to women from as early of an age as 10. Still embarrassing to this day is my attraction to Jamie Lee Curtis, and her character in "True Lies."

In middle school, I was curious about the LGBT community, but it worked itself out via my interest in artists like Michael Stipe, Allen Ginsberg, Oscar Wilde, and other male icons.

That was easier than opening up the Pandora’s Box of my attraction to women.

So yeah, my younger sister beat me to it. I think my family expected my sister to come out as gay. Unlike me, she never lied to herself or others by pretending she was interested in boys. She might have also had the advantage of knowing more clearly what her attraction was. This goes to show that everyone is different.

Alyson's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jamie Lee Curtis (in "True Lies")
______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin' Tweet

Pat

Pat, age 3

Mobile, AL (1960)

When I was 3, I had only just begun to know the value of a good look. In this case it was a petticoat from my sister's closet. I not only used the simpler version (shown here) as a skirt, but used her frillier one as fake hair. This was only after trial and error, and learning that using Spanish moss as fake hair left me with itchy chiggers. Chiggers are red bugs with painful bites. We'd paint them with fingernail polish to suffocate them. Thus, it was necessary to raid my mother's make-up. This may or may not be suitable chigger treatment, but hey...

"Pat comes out of the closet at age 3"

It was also about this time that I developed my soprano singing voice. "Away In A Manger" was my most requested song, no matter the time of year.

My ability to do 'The Twist' for hours on end made me the entertainment go-to for most of my parents' parties.

I never dressed in ladies' clothes again until I was 14 and was "required" to do so at my large southern Baptist church during a youth retreat.

I tied with a guy named Charlie as the winner in a "backwards" Beauty Pageant. This time, I was a knockout in my Mom’s alligator pumps and handbag, and a long black fall (a half wig) that belonged to my 5th grade teacher.

My childhood crush was Sandy on "Flipper" and I even wanted to change my name to Sandy. In retrospect, it was probably just an effort to get close to his dad, Ranger Ricks (Brian Kelly). I wonder if they ever used petticoats so creatively?

I can honestly say that the Baptist church, the Alabama public education system, and a superstar dolphin sitcom definitely fine-tuned my sense of style. And it all made me the blissful gay Renaissance man I am today.

Somebody say AMEN!

Pat's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Luke Halpin (Sandy on "Flipper")

_________________________________________________

David

David, age 5

Mt. Vernon, OH (1970)

This is me, Little David, from Mt. Vernon, Ohio - birthplace of Paul Lynde!

"Drying my hair with The Joy of Cooking"

I LOVED this hairdryer and used it whether my hair needed drying or not. It was like having a big, yellow, warm 'n sunshiney, electric hat on my head. I'm pretty sure that the book in my lap is "The Joy of Cooking" and I'm pretending to read.

I always felt different. I was always "too sensitive" and I didn't have many friends. And the few friends I did have were girls, not boys.

David's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Freddie (on "Scooby Doo")

Aqua-Man, Davey Crockett, & Davy Jones ("The Monkees")

____________________________________________________
   

Dina

Dina, age 5

Olympia, WA (1988)

What makes a person look gay? What makes a person look straight?

When I was a little girl, I was a study in contradictions: I loved dressing up and playing with Barbies and My Little Ponies, as much as I loved digging in the sandbox and helping my dad in the workshop. When my aunt got married, she chose me to be the flower girl.
My grandmother made me this beautiful pink dress. I freaking loved that dress, insisting on wearing it whenever there was a formal event.

When I grew older, it became apparent I was different than other girls, but I couldn’t figure out exactly why. Somehow it got channeled into me wanting to dress and act less feminine.

I rarely wore a skirt or dress during middle and high school, and I never wore makeup 0 except at my synchronized swim meets, where I had no choice.


But that wasn’t authentic to me, either. It took me years to realize that what made me different was my attraction to other girls. Once I came to terms with that part of my identity in college, I started re-embracing my feminine side.

I started wearing makeup occasionally and wearing skirts to class. In a way, that was more freeing than my experiments with masculinity in middle school.

Today, I am still a study in contradictions. I’ll wear a pretty sundress and ballet flats one day, jeans and a t-shirt the next. I like video games as much as I like fashion. I feel like this is my true self, a true self I was not able to fully express until I got rid of the baggage of being a queer adolescent.

I hope if any queer kids see this, they'll understand they can be queer in their own way, which doesn’t mean denying the more "mainstream" parts of themselves!

Nick

Nick, age 5

Monclova, Ohio (1988)

I'd say I always had pizazz. I don't think I was ever over-the-top enough to be considered flamboyant, but I certainly was not meek or mild in my mannerisms. I never felt drastically different from the rest of my family, as everyone was a character. Home was a good place, even as my older brother came out at 25, and I was 17. I followed suit a year later. We were still treated the same, because we were the same: just colorful characters captured in photos like this one.

I was always attracted to guys, even at a very young age.

When teachers in elementary school announced the arrival of a new student, I would be gravely disappointed if the newcomer was a girl.

You see, I loved boys.

Boys were enigmatic to me and I didn't understand them. I observed them in class, running in herds on soccer fields, riding bikes in my neighborhood.

I didn't get what was so interesting, but I wanted to.

They excited me, like a toy I really wanted that was too expensive for my parents to buy. I couldn't get my hands on them, and I desperately wanted to!

Gay was such a negative term when I was growing up. It was used to harass and embarrass. I didn't want to be gay, and I denied it as I grew out of my childhood. When I was 15, however, I crumbled.

At a family party, the son of my mother's coworker said something to me I will never forget. I'd been running around, had gotten sweaty, and was looking for my sister. I found her in a group of kids, this boy included, and as I ran up to them, the first thing out of my mouth was, 'Phew, I'm really hot'.

This beautiful boy that changed my stubborn thoughts and unlocked my sexuality, looked me up and down and said, 'You sure are.' Everyone in the group took it as a joke and laughed about the absurdity. But I looked at him, stunned, and saw, for the first time in my life, that knowing look that gay men give each other. That look that travels across crowds of people, that sixth sense like your own personal dog whistle that raises every alarm in your head.

The knowing was instantaneous: Now I knew! GAY. I am gay.

The thing I knew since the days when this photo was taken, and the thing I denied for years, was true. Utterly and undeniably true. And then: relief.

And then, the beginning to a wonderful life!
______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin' Tweet

Ben

Ben, age 6

Dallas, Texas (1984)

This picture still cracks me up! I mean, look at me: the posing, the tutu, the Bronco's t-shirt (???), the bow in my hair, mom's heels, and a cocked leg!

I wonder what my sister, Erin (background) thought when she saw me? I also wonder who took this picture? My Mom or Dad?!

My parents said they always knew - hmm, I wonder how! While I don't recall this particular dress-up, what stayed with me was what my Mom lived by and instilled in us:

She'd say, 'Let's put on a show!'

My mom (RIP) was a showy woman, and she liked prizes.

Today I'm a showy man, and I like prizes too. Coincidence?

And in one way or another, we have been playing dress up ever since. Luckily for me, my parents always accepted us just the way we are. They encouraged me to be and do whatever I wanted. Thankfully, I never wanted to be a ballet dancer or a football player, because I still can't dance or catch a ball.

I was probably about 10 when my attraction to men started to kick in. I knew I couldn't love Wonder Woman forever, so I switched gears to "Growing Pains."

I crushed on Jeremy Miller (Ben Seaver) for when I wanted a cute friend to kiss, and Allen Thicke (the dad) for that sexy father figure role. Also, I loved Ricky Schroeder on "Silver Spoons." Sooo cute! And last, Jerry Sharell, as Mickey the bass player on Kids Incorporated!

Of course I also loved "My Little Pony," brushing out my sister's Barbies hair, and flipping through the International Male Catalog. What can ya do?

Who knew that I'd grow up wanting to be an ice skater, then a musical theater performer (who acts and sings, not dances), and who now manages a hair salon in Boston - that my husband owns?! That is pretty cool.

And anything is possible for anyone - even for a little gay boy from Texas.

Ben's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jeremy Miller (Ben Seaver on "Growing Pains")

_____________________________________________________