Keith

Keith, age 2

Detroit, Michigan (1964)

Believe it or not, I remember the moment, captured in this pic, when I saw "Him" - a dreamy, teenage, male friend of my mother's family. I didn't feel gay or "different" at this time, just in love. And, I'm so glad that I'm dressed quite handsomely in my tie, plaid vest, and penny loafers. To this day, I feel a rush when I look at this pic, which is why I love it so much.

So it's the mid to late 60's, but, unfortunately - I don't have any pictures of me wearing my Mary Poppins hat and trying to fly with my Mary Poppins umbrella. I suppose it was around 1965 that I did sense "different" when I'd hear my parents arguing about the clothes and toys my mother was buying me. 

Closely associated was my constant desire to fly either like Ms. Poppins or
The Flying Nun, which drove my father nuts. 

Then there was Penny Robinson (Angela Cartwright) of "Lost In Space."
I wanted to be her, especially when she was "dropping out" on the planet of teenagers and go-go dancing. Sipping TAB at my parents' bar, I'd be Ann-Marie (Marlo Thomas) of "That Girl" and, whenever I had to dust, I'd imagine I was one of the glamorous, wafting women in the Pledge furniture polish ads.

But the guy who really "wow"-ed me back then was <blush> William Shatner! On the original "Star Trek," when he was paired up with Michael Forest in the 'Who Mourns for Adonais?' episode - I was one happy, tingly, little shaver.

Then the 70's came, and things went dark. Going from happy, little shaver to the object of bullies' anger wasn't easy, but all of us go through bad times throughout our lives. I think the ability to fly away, if even just in my mind, helped me get through and into a better time and place.

Keith's first, famous-person same sex crush:

William Shatner ("Star Trek")
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Eamonn

Eamonn, age 4

Brighton, Michigan (1991)

It was an epic Christmas morning, and I had just turned 4 a few months prior.
In 1989, the 50th Anniversary Edition "The Wizard of Oz" VHS came out, and I became obsessed with 1) being a friend of Dorothy and 2) actually becoming her.

"Dorothy & Toto with their loyal steeds!"

Still in my yellow dress shirt from a Christmas Eve party at my grandparents, I eagerly transformed myself into a hybrid of Judy Garland and Glinda the Good Witch.

Note the fabulous pink wand. And those ruby slippers stayed on my feet for at least a week!

I honestly recall that I've always had a preference for men. To me, girls always made such fabulous friends, that I couldn't conceive of being with them romantically!


As a little boy, I wanted to be every Disney princess, and had regular breakdowns over Leonardo DiCaprio after seeing "Romeo & Juliet" in 3rd grade. I was about that age when I first learned what "gay" meant.

By age 12, I decided that gay was the way I planned to live the rest of my life - and with someone tall, dark, strong, and handsome! Inspired by a trip to Toronto with my mother - where we unknowingly reserved a room at a bed & breakfast hotel in Gay Village - I came out to her on the train ride home.

Thanks to amazing parenting, I continued to dress flamboyantly, play with Barbies, and hold my torch for actors and boy bands. In a small town known for ousting businesses donning rainbow stickers, I certainly couldn't let my true identity be known. But I never attempted to conceal my personality in public.

Even at my small Catholic school I found warm acceptance and many allies among my loving teachers. Regrets? Not sticking with those ballet lessons long enough to be a mouse in "The Nutcracker"! I lived to wear to those pink tights.

Looking at this picture today gives me nothing but pride. I wish I could I meet this little boy, just so we could sit on the floor with those ponies and Barbies and make some magic again. He was a happy little Prince, full of wonder and love.

And even if things might have been worse, they would soon get much better.
Being who you are is one of the bravest and most rewarding experiences. So start immediately - as you can't imagine how much fun you'll have, until you do.

Eamonn's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Disney's "Aladdin" & Leonardo DiCaprio

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Jeffrey

Jeffrey, age 7

Wetumpka, Alabama (1968)

I was a smart, eccentric kid, who was quite often prone for creating dramatic moments. I was fairly extroverted and asked lots and lots of questions, which I later discovered annoyed many adult friends & family members. The best thing my parents did for me then was get me involved in a local children's community theater program, to channel my creative energy. Also, I was quite conscious of my wardrobe, even at an early age. A childhood friend recently reminded of my youthful passion for Hush Puppy shoes, which started in about the 3rd grade.

"It’s never too cold to show off a nice pair of legs."

This was the Christmas photo call on the front porch of my grandparents’ house. Why was I wearing shorts outdoors at Christmas? Lord only knows. My beloved grandmother told me shortly thereafter that I was getting to be too old for shorts and knee socks.

Growing up in Texas, I always felt like I was different from other kids. For my entire childhood, I couldn’t understand why I didn’t like football, dating, or other things Texan. It was not until I went off to college that my first girlfriend suspected what was going, labeled it, and got me onto the path of self-discovery (yeah, a real-life Will & Grace).

At some level, I just cringe looking at the pic now. However, it really does capture who I was at that time. Although I’ve never been a clotheshorse by any stretch of the imagination, smart-dressing has always been hugely important.

For younger gay kids now, I say: Dare to be different, and always be true to yourself. High school may suck, but college will be great!

Jeffrey's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Adam West ("Batman")
Along with Danny Powell, the lifeguard at our local swimming pool
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Jason

Jason, age 4

Laurel, Missouri (1979)

All I wanted Santa to bring me for Christmas was an Incredible Hulk doll and a Wonder Woman costume. I wasn't aware Wonder Woman's ensemble had a version with pants - but Santa apparently took pains to find it.

I wish I had the photo of my dad sitting on the couch opposite me, as he had this really concerned look, complete with a grimace. He and mom obviously loved me though, as there are many more incriminating photos of me. This one is way more flattering than the one of me in a long yellow scarf and cowboy boots.

Ten or more years ago, I'd cringe at this pic. But now all I can think of is,
'Wow -- I'm pretty dang lucky to have my mom and dad.'

I've pretty much always known I was different than all the other kids at school and church, even before I ever knew what gay was. I mean, outside of The Flintstones' 'we'll have a gay ole time' reference.

I wrestled with my sexual identity and denied it for years, up until some straight friends bought me a lap dance in my 20's, and all I could think of was:
'Lord, I hope that stripper's body oil doesn't clog my pores.'

That's when I knew.

Jason's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Christopher Reeves ("Superman II")
Ricky Schroeder ("Silver Spoons")

Both figured prominently in my fantasies -- and usually simultaneously
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
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Angela

Angela, age 3

Shelbyville, Missouri (1988)

My parents would always let me dress how I wanted, and in this picture I am about 90% sure I picked this outfit out myself. My sister is a very fashionable '80s girl, and I'm rocking the flannel shirt and overalls.

How was anyone surprised when I came out?!

One of my earliest memories is helping my Dad on the farm. I wanted to be a farmer just like him! I would wear my overalls and go do chores with him. While my sisters would play Barbie dolls, I would play the guide boy in Oregon Trail.

Looking through pictures of me in elementary school, I always have to remind myself to look for the boy! I laugh as I look through old pictures of me, because I think, 'How did I not know I was gay until I was 22?!?!'  

I always knew I was different from everyone in my small community, but I didn't fully realize I am a lesbian until I was 22!  The most difficult part was picking which gay kid picture to submit!
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Doug

Doug, age 8

Port Washington, Wisconsin (1976)

I think I'm about 8 in this family picture, circa 1976. As you can see, I'm holding my beloved Jamie Sommers ("The Bionic Woman") doll. My younger brother got the more macho Six Million Dollar Man, of course.

"A Very (Gay) Bionic Christmas"

Growing up in Port Washington, I adored action figures and dolls of all types. But damn if I didn't love playing with my aunt's Barbie collection.
They had such great clothes!

In all fairness, my parents never made a big deal about buying me the Bionic Woman stuff. I remember asking for Charlie's Angels dolls as well, and got a couple of those.

Around the same time, I had a Miss Piggy puppet. I even took her out to restaurants with the family.  When the host asked, 'Table for four?'
I'd reply (in my best Piggy voice), 'No, FIVE!'  (God, was I a ham!)

I used to sing showtunes at family gatherings - although I eschewed traditional diva-esque numbers for songs like "76 Trombones."

My Grandma used to have a basket of Avon sample-sized lipsticks in her bathroom - and she once caught me applying a nice shade of rose to my lips.

All she said was, 'Isn't it fun to try on lipstick?'

Perhaps my family should have known my orientation, when at about age 4,
I confronted a man at the mall, asking: 'Mister, do you have a penis?'

I'm still curious about those to this day, I suppose...

Doug's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Billy Mumy (Will Robinson on "Lost In Space")
Ike Eisenmann ("Witch Mountain")
Gil Gerard ("Buck Rogers In The 25th Centurty") *

* This is weird, since I am so NOT into that type of man in my adulthood...
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Matthew

Matthew, age 5

London, England (1995)

"And people say I am camp now!"

This was taken on Christmas Day and I only ever wore it one other time. I went to the park with my family and I was wearing this outfit and some boys made fun of me.

I was so upset I never wore it again.

And this supposedly broke my mother's heart as she didn't like me feeling uncomfortable with who I was or what I wanted to do.

I had more fun playing with girls toys than I did with boys toys.

I remember I once had a swimming Cindy doll, several Disney princess dolls, and also wanted to be Ariel from "The Little Mermaid."

And I've known I am gay since I was about age 8.

I had a crushes on boys in school and also asked my parents what that meant.

Today, I think this photo is adorable.

I am very proud of my parents for being cool enough to buy it for me when I asked. I'm also very sad knowing that so many children can't get what they innocently want, because it doesn't fit the right roles.

Matthew's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Andrew Hayden Smith (actor, "Byker Grove")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book

Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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