Lewis

Lewis, age 10

Marl, Germany (1977)

I went to school in the 4th grade, dressed for what we call in Germany Fasching - our colorful and fun Carnival. I was in love with that silly, curly, big platinum white wig at the local trinket store. I used to walk by it every day after school and stare at it, and eventually bought it with my birthday money. The rest of the outfit I borrowed from mom. I remember I loved my painted nails – and look at how delicately I hold that corn on the cob.

Little did I realize, that years later I would fall in love with a woman named Dolly Parton. And I'm sure I would have stuffed my bra to complete the look, too.

In Germany, I was just an odd kid. There was a time they would tease me by calling me "Louise" but it faded quickly, and it didn't play much into our friendships. I always played with boys and girls, even during puberty.

But it was my own sense of worth I struggled with, more a result of our broken family dynamic than the other kids around me. Much of Europe treats sexuality as a part of life, and it's not demonized in the way America struggles with it.

Moving to the US during high school changed everything. American high school was aggressive. The kids made sure you knew there was something wrong with you, and then you try and change to fit in. Like carrying your books the right way down the hall. Until one day you wake up and realize:

'Maybe I was born this way. Maybe it is how I am meant to be.
Maybe I’m fine just the way I am.'

I read a quote recently by Dr. Mae Jemison that sums up how I feel these days:
"The best way to make dreams come true is ‘to wake up’. Don’t let others define you or limit where your imagination can take you."

So go paint your nails, little boys - because you have galaxies at your fingertips!

Lewis' first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Travolta
In his tight, little black underwear, combing his hair in 'Saturday Night Fever'
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Joshua

Joshua, age 4

Las Vegas, New Mexico (1988)

This is me and my sister Jay, herself a lesbian. Growing up, I was the youngest of 4 kids from a single mother. My mom was a hairstylist, who encouraged us to be ourselves. I was always the loner kid with the heart of gold, and I liked talking to her customers in her hair salon.

When I turned 4, my mom got me a brunette Barbie (the closest they had to a "Latina" doll at the time) in a red Corvette car, and I was in love. I'll mention that I'm the one who requested Barbie. Back then, I watched Jem, Rainbow Brite, and loved My Little Pony. When my sister and I went to McDonalds and got the boy and girl Happy Meal toys, we would trade them.

Growing up in a city of 15,000 people, but whose name signifies shiny objects such as Las Vegas, I was very different and didn't have many friends. I read a lot, and took pottery, gymnastics, tap-dancing, and acting classes.

I remember one birthday party when I was 9, and not one person attended it.
At that young age, I realized I was different, and that everyone knew it about me. And, I understood what it meant for the other kids to feel "guilt by association." When I got older, into middle and high school, I was bullied tremendously. I'd try to get through classes unnoticed, where a good day would mean not being picked on 5 separate times.

I have always been different, and that just was it. I don't remember questioning why I was gay then, and never pegged it as being gay - just different. Maybe if I'd grown up in a household with more masculine influences, or if my mom wasn't so accepting, I would have payed more attention to my traits.

But my family encouraged me to be myself, and do the things that made me learn, grow, and smile. My mom never tried to lean me towards masculine traits nor feminine, she just wanted me to be happy.

And I've learned that those differences just never really mattered.
Because in retrospect, I know I was truly was BORN THIS WAY! :-)

Joshua's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Ricky Martin
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Pierre

Pierre, age 5

Quebec, Canada (1977)

This picture was taken inside our cabin in St. Donat, Quebec. It was Christmas morning, and I'd just woken up, very excited to get all my gifts.

I sat down beside the fireplace, and my mother couldn't believe my pose! LOL! She asked me not to move, and she took the shot.

I remember starting to feel different around 7 or 8-years old. I just wasn't interested in the same things the other boys my age were.

I'm now 39, and fully enjoy my life. I have amazing parents that always showed me how to be a great person, and to embrace whatever makes us different.

Lori

Lori, age 9

Cedar Falls, IA (1970)

This is me and my friend Ken, ready for war - well before we ended up in an epic real brawl as we walked home from school one day, which ended our friendship.

For me - despite the leopard pants my grandma made me - wearing jeans and sneakers while running into town was who I was.

I hung out with all the boys, playing Bart Starr to my friend Jon's Donny Anderson, from the Green Bay Packers. Or playing a Knight of the Round Table using metal garbage can lids and cardboard swords.

And beating up anyone who dared pick on my sister.

I used to race the boys' Stingray bikes my dad built all over town, with my little AM radio slung over the handlebars, as I listened to the Rolling Stones and Jefferson Airplane.

Darkness would fall and I'd race home, compelled to be on time to watch Elizabeth Montgomery in "Bewitched," whom I loved on an epic scale. 

One of my fondest memories is the day my dad gave me a bright and shiny new baseball bat and ball for my birthday. It's a memory which he probably assigned as the pivotal moment he still had some control to do things differently, and not end up with a lesbian daughter.

Fortunately, I had parents who did not force me into dresses, except as decorum required, such as church on Easter. I’m forever grateful I got to be essentially who I was in those days gone by.

I wonder what might have been, had puberty not interfered with the innocence of pure joy I experienced as a 9-year-old dyke.

Lori's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Elizabeth Montgomery ("Bewitched")

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Jim

Jim, age 7

San Pablo, California (1971)

There was always something I loved about striking a pose that always felt glamorous. I always liked being presentable, and I was feeling so sporty in my sneakers, cuffed pants, and shiny windbreaker. I always felt different, but "gay" didn't resonate until I was about 10, when we moved to El Sobrante, CA.

Back then, the kids would ride their banana seat bikes,
or come to our house to swim. I was always drawn to hair on guys, especially longish straight hair.

My best friend had blondish-white hair, and our other friend had jet-black hair with Dippity Do pomade.

My friend Veronica had an older brother, who I met at 9.

Her brother was cool - and hot! - and I was smitten with his straight, shoulder length, dirty-brown hair. And he wore a PUKA SHELL necklace. Needless to say, I put a great amount of mileage on my bike riding past his house!

I didn't mind the boy stereotype of playing and getting dirty, but I much preferred listening to my Janis Joplin, Joni Mitchell, Doors, and Credence Clearwater Revival records with my best friend. Or climbing the evergreen tree in the back hill, to see San Francisco and feel the breeze in the hopes of hearing the news of gay liberation emanating from the streets.

From this age on, I discovered that what I had was a gift, and I learned the necessity to give it to those without it. Unfortunately, as in many Shakespearean themes, my good nature became manipulated by my brothers, who taught me the Machiavellian principles. Which meant "boys only" swim dates that opened my eyes to my peers, and the wonder and beauty of the male form.

This picture brings me joy and peace, and keeps me grounded in the belief that I'm still clearly that boy, and I give him a voice often. No shame then, no shame now. Luckily, it was ingrained in our upbringing to understand a person's content - and not their skin color, clothes, or hair, etc.

As someone who has worked in NYC with young gay kids for over 25 years, the only advice I can offer is to build that foundation of who and what you are. And gather the company of friends and family who can relish in - and openly celebrate - the other little Jim's this may be happening to everyday.

James' first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Donny Osmond & Barry Williams (Greg Brady, "The Brady Bunch")
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Jakub

Jakub, age 11

Wielkopolska, Poland (1992)

I remember as a kid, that I was different in every way. I didn't care about playing football, fighting, cars, or other typical "boy" things etc.

Instead, I was obsessed with Madonna and dancing and singing. I discovered myself as gay around 11. I love this pic, because it reflects my mood at that time.

At school, I was both loved and hated. I was crazy about Madonna's "Erotica" album back then. Madonna was, and is still is, very important to me. She is like my 2nd mother.

I came out in 2003, 11 years after this pic. I was inspired to do it by my boyfriend, so I wrote about it in a letter to my mother. My boyfriend and I are still together, we have a great home, and a lot of love.

My message to all is:
Be yourself, no matter what they say. Express your love to the world every day!

Jakub's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Brad Pitt (in "Thelma & Louise")
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