Ryan

Ryan, age 4

Taree, NSW, Australia (1987)

I was born in a small country town, and can remember dressing up on every occasion possible. I couldn't conceive why my boy neighbors never wanted to join in. But here I am, on the far left with my neighbors Mat & Katherine.



I don't remember when I 'realized' I was gay, but I always felt conflicted. I was about 10 when the boys on my street found a dirty magazine. I remember launching into a diatribe about how female parts were boring and all looked the same. And that male parts were much more interesting, because they were all different. But I had no idea what this would all mean in the future.

I recall being attracted to boys and teachers in my class around the same age. But even without any physical contact, I had my heart broken while dating girls until I was 18. It never stopped me being referred to as a f*ggot, or being picked on by the guys at school. I decided that I didn't want to be a f*ggot, and I would do everything in my power to deny it.

My coming out was rather backward. I rebelled and left home at 15 and was hanging out in gay bars as part of my 'double life.'  My mother asked on a visit if 'All of my friends thought that she knew I was gay'. I told her she was being preposterous, and couldn't possibly know what she was talking about.

Well, she also told me that my 'uncle' from a photo we had was not one of my aunt's ex-husbands, but rather her best gay friend. And, that the lady who babysat me as a child in Sydney? Well, she wasn't actually a lady...

I never gave my parents enough credit, and drove a wedge of between us, based mostly on my shame. In school, my sister hated me for being her f*ggot brother, and my stoic father was confronted by my flamboyance. He was convinced gay men were out to get me.

Despite the photo, I consider myself to be an athletic and masculine gay man. And I now have the love and support of my family behind me.

Ryan's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Dean Cain

Mark

Mark, age 4
Adrian, Missouri (1964)

Childhood memories consist of playing Barbies with the girl across the street, making dresses for my favorite teddybear, and dressing in my grandmother's evening gown. Oh, and sipping champagne (7-UP) from stemware. I did "boy" things too, but these are the things that I remember most.

"Here I am in my pink jeep that I received for Christmas that year. 

Really? Was there any hope for me after that?"

It must have been around the 6th grade I realized that I was attracted to men, but I didn't think much about it. Then, during a band competition during High School, a guy from a neighboring school slipped me a note saying I was cute, and he wanted to meet up with me. But I never did, because I was too embarrassed. But, it did make me realize there were others like me.

College brought on the first boyfriend and everything that goes along with it.
And wow! All I can say is that it just felt natural and good.

Later, after seeing many friends disowned by their family for being gay, I came to realize just how lucky I was. I have a family that loves and accepts not only me, but my partner(s) too. I know it hasn't been easy for them, but I appreciate their love and support.

Currently, my partner Todd and I just recently celebrated our 10th Anniversary, surrounded by both of our families and many friends. And life is good!

I never had to hide who I was to get through life, and my message to others is:

Always surround yourself with those that love and respect you, so that you can let your true self shine through. Everyone has something to offer, and nobody should have to be someone they're not, just to survive in this world.

Mark's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Mark Goddard (Lt. West on "Lost In Space")
Robert Conrad (in "The Wild Wild West")
I fondly remember a lot of "crotch watching" of their tight costume pants.
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Tom

Tom, age 6

Cheshire, CT (1983)

This pic was shot at a summer camp.

I was teased a great deal growing up, and middle school was particularly hard for me.

There were several points throughout my adolescence, where I considered giving up life all together.

I'm very glad that I didn't.

I'm now 33 years old, a doctor, and overall very happy with my life.

I have friends and family who support who I am, and all that I do.

Kari

Kari, age 8

Franklin, WI (1989)

I hear it all the time: There's no such thing as being born gay. It's all in our environment, and can be controlled and suppressed.

And to that, I say: That's total BS.

I've known I was gay since I was age 5. I grew up a tomboy, loving rough and tumble play, getting dirty, catching various snakes and bugs, and bringing them home to show mom.

I also owned as many Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figures, clothes, and accessories as possible. I hated being dressed up girlie and often put up a huge fuss whenever my parents made me do so.

I didn’t even know what 'gay' was then though, and I convinced myself that I was supposed to be a boy - as only boys liked girls. It took many years for me to learn what a homosexual was. And when I did, I was terrified that I was going to have a long and horrible life.

Thankfully, my coming out process was fairly stress free - but my parents used to make negative comments about gay people. However, when the time came for me to tell them in my early 20's, they were nothing but supportive.

My friends are all so pro-gay and loving, and it feels great to have so much support and acceptance from them. I can count on them to always have my back with any gay rights' issues we face today. They definitely made my own coming out a very smooth one, and to this day I can be fully out and proud with no worries of what others think.

For people that I know who have to suppress who they truly are, simply to please others around them, I just say that you need live life to your own expectations and not someone else's.

It is your life and you need to do what's best for you. Be honest with yourself and you'll be happier in the long run.

It will be difficult to start, but believe me - it does get better.

John

John, age 4

Flushing Meadow Park, New York (1965)

That's me in the front with my two older brothers at the 1964-65 New York World's Fair. My father was the manager of the General Motors Futurama exhibit, and we would spend every other weekend visiting the fair.

Even barely 4-years old, I can remember being obsessed with those sunglasses.

My father told me it was bad for my eyes to wear sunglasses indoors. Otherwise, I would have worn them all the time.

I suppose this picture reminds me that I have always been a bit different.


I became aware of my attraction to boys my own age around 11, but I didn't really start coming out to friends or family until I was 20; no one was surprised.

And I was lucky, because only one friend had trouble with my coming out, and he got over it. Both my brothers, my parents, and my family were (and are) supportive of who I am. And being gay is just one of the things I am.

I'm 49 now and live in San Francisco. My life is not perfect, but I am mostly happy. And I have friends - many who are gay, and many who are not - and they all know who I am.

Of all the challenges of my life, being gay hasn't been a problem. I think if anything, being gay has turned out to be a positive thing. Growing up different means having to discover yourself in ways that 'normal' people don't.

I was born this way, and I'm happy with who I am.

And, you will find that being who you are is part of being happy.

John's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Guy Williams (the dad on "Lost In Space")
I think I became fascinated with him watching re-runs of the show.
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Burl

Burl, age 5

Machesney Park, IL (1985)

My obsession with He-Man & The Masters of the Universe began at age 4.

My mother introduced me to She-Ra, and bought me a Crystal Castle playset for my 5th birthday - even though those toys were marketed towards girls.

Years later, she explained she knew I was gay at an early age, by quoting the appropriately titled Masters of the Universe episode, "The Rainbow Warrior" :

"A mother always knows her own son . . . I've always been very proud of you."

I am truly blessed to have a mother who has always loved and supported me.