Greg

Greg, age 5

Paducah, Kentucky (1973)

My sister and I got into Grandma's hats, and of course, I picked the pink fluffy one. It WAS the most stylish. A year later, I sent my mother clamoring for the Valium when she asked who I wanted to be for Halloween in 1st grade.

I replied, "Batgirl." I was Batman. The next year I said, "Wonder Woman."
I was Spider-Man. The NEXT year I said, "Isis." I was Batman - again. Then in 4th grade, I said, "C-3PO"  and she breathed a sigh of relief. That is, until I put on the costume and said in a lisping English accent, "Oh, R2!" Amazingly, my mother never took up drinking...

I saw "Return from Witch Mountain" in 1978 and had my first crush on Ike Eisenmann, who played Tony.

Then I realized my friends were developing crushes on famous women or female classmates.

And I thought, "When does that happen to me?" I'm still waiting.

Everything was fine in my life, until late Middle School and High School. That's when the tormenting began, and I cringe to this day thinking about it all.

But as SOON as I was out of high school, things got much better.

Without the constant grip of fear, my grades shot up to honors level, and I grew much more confident in myself. It was a few more years before I finally came out, but when I did, I felt even better.

My advice to all going through it now is:

Find supportive friends. Be yourself. And LIVE your life to its fullest!
And rock your own pink, fluffy hats! _______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Andrea

Andrea, age 10

Kitchener, Ontario, Canada (1996)

Growing up, I always felt a lot different than other girls. I dressed in what I wanted, which was by no means girly. When shopping for new clothes, I went straight to the boys section. My Mom or Dad never questioned me, they just let me wear what I wanted.

I loved jeans, sleeveless shirts, and hoodies. Dresses and pretty clothes had no room in my life, let alone my closet.

I tore apart bikes and tried to put them back together again, built forts, and played baseball and road hockey.

My first crush was on a girl I had never spoken to in my life. She lived in the same neighborhood as my grandparents, and I was attracted to her long wavy hair.

Every weekend we'd visit, I'd head right to the basketball courts. Not to play basketball, but to wait for that girl to come out of her house, just across the street.


I never questioned my feeling for girls, nor did I tell anyone. But I just did not think twice about them. I knew I liked girls, and that was it. It was who I was.

I got frustrated as a child being mistaken for a boy, or questioned about what I wore, or how I cut my hair. But, I lived for the moments when girls mistook me for a boy and told me I was cute, or had a crush on me.

I feel lucky that my mom and dad always let me wear what I wanted to wear, and be who I was. There were no questions asked. Because of this, I came out at an early age. I had enough support from my family to not hide who I was in school or with friends, and to be confident with my sexuality.

I hope all young children grow up being who they want to be, and that they can feel confident and secure about who they are. Because we are born this way!
And the only choice we make is to be true to ourselves - or to hide who we are.

Jarryd

Jarryd, age 3

Loveland, OH (1983)

When I came across this photo in a family album, the first thing that comes to mind is: Oh, the 80's! A mohair patterned sofa AND wood paneling? Obviously a truly dark time for interior design.

With that said, it's time the world knows that I would have kept that handbag if I'd known how truly fierce I looked. And the storage inside? Amazing. I mean, that bag carried all of my necessities: sunglasses, Chapstick, breath mints, and of course My Little Pony (I only wish I was exaggerating).

I got the idea for carrying the handbag around and wearing those shades from watching soap operas while home with my mother. What can I say? Those ladies had style to die for. I also feel inclined to share this: you can't really see in the photo, but I totally had my nails painted pearlized pink. I can thank my grandmother for that one. I wanted them done and she did them.

My two favorite films growing up were "Hocus Pocus" (I saw it 12 times in the theater) and "Sleeping Beauty." My mom had to buy two copies of that, just so she could rewind one, while the other one played. God help you if it wasn't ready!!! As for Maleficent? True love.

You hear the same story time after time: "Growing up I always knew." As a kid, it wasn't just me that knew. EVERYONE knew I was different.

However, I was lucky enough to have a family that supported me right from the start, and never once tried to hold me back. When I finally 'came out' at 17, they had prepared themselves far in advance for that inevitable conversation.

It was still one of the hardest things I've EVER had to say to someone.
But each time you say it, you get a little wiser, and a little stronger. 

Go Forth! Come Out — it's one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Jarryd's first, famous-person same sex crush:

"Marky Mark" Wahlberg
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Spencer

Spencer, age 6

Holdrege, NE (1985)

So, I LOVED to play with Barbies and She-Ra, thanks to my little sis! I had two older brothers that didn’t want to have anything to do with me - other than beat me up - so they let me do whatever.


I had inklings about being "different" probably around the age I am in this photo.

But, in small town Nebraska, you just keep your mouth shut.

That said, when I did come out at 21, my family, friends, and colleagues were all very supportive.

In fact, both my parents and brothers didn't believe me, at first about things like that.

This picture helped "refresh" their memories - haha!

And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE that you have this blog!

Spencer's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Ricky Martin

Estoy enamorado de Ricky

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Chad

Chad, age 6

San Diego, California (1972)

Childhood was not a happy time, and it's shown in my face here. I was raised by a fundamentalist Christian preacher and his wife, in a home filled with abuse, where every emotion and desire was suppressed and beaten down.

I was constantly bombarded with messages that gays and homosexuals were the blight of the Earth, and who were faulted for every problem and natural disaster.

I was shown mocking images of flamboyant gay men in drag and butch lesbians riding motorcycles, as clear evidence that men and women had turned from their natural affections.

I didn't really have indications that I was different, because I had no reference points for comparison.


But, I do recall being very young, and being very intrigued by the male nudes at the museum.

In high school, I met another boy with a similar upbringing and we became close. As we started sharing our deepest thoughts and intimate secrets, we revealed that we both enjoyed this forbidden pleasure. Of course, I never mentioned it to my parents. According to them, ALL sex was bad, and even remotely sexual thoughts would send a person straight to hell.

Even then, I didn't realize those desires as gay. To me, homosexuals were the flamboyant (and ridiculed) queens in the Pride Parades, wearing shorts and leather hats. Yet secretly, I thought they were the hottest men I had ever seen!

It wasn’t until I left home that I came to terms with who I was.

Once I got out of that bubble, I learned that gay men could share a life together, and there were places I would be accepted as I am. I also learned that love did not have to come with physical pain.

I also learned that my parents were not a positive influence in my life.
They continued to abuse me with their guilt, disappointment, and shame long after I became an adult.

Thus, I learned that I didn't have to keep my parents in my life, and we haven't spoken in years. I'm a much happier person for eliminating that negativity.

More importantly, I learned that my feelings were not a cause for shame, but rather a reason to celebrate. And, that I was allowed to actually have fun and do things that felt good and enjoyable.

The young boy in this pic was introverted, shy, withdrawn, abused, and hurting. The adult man that this child became is intensely happy, full of life and love and cannot wait for each new day!

So I know that it really does get better, and being gay is not just a phase.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Ashley

Ashley, age 4
Royal Oak, MI (1991)

I remember thinking how beautiful my next door neighbor Jenni was. While I liked playing with her older brothers better, I loved being near her. And as you can see, even as a child, I was initiating make-outs with girls. ;-)

When I was 7, my next door neighbor Charlie and I ripped all of the heads off of my Ken dolls. And filled them with ketchup.

We put them in the street so cars would run over them, as if they decapitated Ken.

Maybe lesbians really do hate men? 'Cuz Ken had everything I wanted:
Sports cars, fly clothes, a beautiful woman, and no penis under his shorts!

So I killed him. Over and over again. 

Looking back, of course there are moments when I could say "Duh, lesbian".
Like when I made out with Jenni, or when I was jealous of Ken. Or when I broke a neighborhood boy's nose, because his sister said he liked me.

But I just didn't have the words to explain the feelings. I also didn't have reasons to think it was different from any of the other young girls. I didn't ever consider the fact that other little girls didn't find women attractive, or men threatening.