Ashley

Ashley, age 4
Royal Oak, MI (1991)

I remember thinking how beautiful my next door neighbor Jenni was. While I liked playing with her older brothers better, I loved being near her. And as you can see, even as a child, I was initiating make-outs with girls. ;-)

When I was 7, my next door neighbor Charlie and I ripped all of the heads off of my Ken dolls. And filled them with ketchup.

We put them in the street so cars would run over them, as if they decapitated Ken.

Maybe lesbians really do hate men? 'Cuz Ken had everything I wanted:
Sports cars, fly clothes, a beautiful woman, and no penis under his shorts!

So I killed him. Over and over again. 

Looking back, of course there are moments when I could say "Duh, lesbian".
Like when I made out with Jenni, or when I was jealous of Ken. Or when I broke a neighborhood boy's nose, because his sister said he liked me.

But I just didn't have the words to explain the feelings. I also didn't have reasons to think it was different from any of the other young girls. I didn't ever consider the fact that other little girls didn't find women attractive, or men threatening.