March 19, 2011


Heath, age 2
Winchester, TN (1975)

It wasn't until around 4th grade that I knew I was different from the other boys. I hated playing sports, and I was always the last to be picked. I didn’t get into BB guns, baseball cards, or playing Army.

"Where's my steno pad? I need to take down a memo!!!"

I always felt more at ease staying inside, watching "The Young & The Restless" on TV with my grandma, or helping her out in the kitchen.

I reveled in the glitzy, 80's prime-time soap operas, like "Dynasty."

I wanted to be Joan Collins as Alexis Carrington, with her long brown cigarettes.

I don't remember when I changed from being sensitive, tender-hearted, and shy to being called a sissy, a fruit, or a f*ggot. I think it started in 6th grade, when one boy called me a fruit, and the rest followed.

While I was never beaten up, I always felt like an outsider, and like less than a person. I knew I had crushes on other boys, but didn’t internally admit it until I was 18. It took several years of hard partying and denial to finally come out, which was rather anti-climactic. Responses to the news went something like this:

"What took you so long?"
"Well, I always knew THAT!"
"Yeah, you already told me when you were drunk the other night."

When I came out, I discovered who my real friends were.
That's why it gets better.

Heath's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Dan Aykroyd
SNL - Best of Dan Aykroyd
JOHN FORSYTHE BLAKE CARRINGTON , JOAN COLLINS ALEXIS MORRELL CARRINGTON COLBY DEXTER ROWAN LINDA EVANS KRYSTLE GRANT JENNINGS CARRINGTON DYNASTY 20X24 PHOTOThe Young and the Restless: Most Memorable MomentsThe Impact of Bullying on the Mental Health of Young Gay Men: Bullying and Internalized Homophobia's Effect on Depressive and Traumatic Symptoms

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