March 16, 2011


Annette, age 3
Bern, Switzerland (1980)

As a little kid, I was particularly fond of hats and dungarees. Though never a tomboy and a rather timid child, I nevertheless shunned the "girlie" stuff, and hated wearing dresses. In fact, I was often mistaken for a boy, and my feeling of self has always been one of a gay "in-between" in many ways.

I knew I was somehow different by the age of about 10, but I couldn't put my finger on it. But I found women more fascinating than men in every way.

At age 14, I became infatuated with Barbra Streisand, but still didn't understand that I was - and had in fact always been - a gay kid. That all came much much later, when I came out at age 23.

Looking back, I wonder how I could have missed all these signposts! Life would have been easier, had I understood and accepted my true identity earlier. Because I loved being that kid with the hat and the dungarees!

Once I got through the rough terrain of puberty, reconnecting to these early moments brought a lot of joy and self-realization.

And you can get to this point, too! And let me tell you: It does get better!

1 comment:

blanzyk said...

Self confidence + self-awareness really does provide great freedom. This emancipating Freedom happens for many individuals, regardless of gender, disability, preference or age. It is only now, after I've turned 40, that I really don't care what others think - - before, I spent a life of "behaving" the way I should, looking the way I should, and serving to please others. I now look at the Purpose of my life, which is to love unconditionally - - which pleases me so much more.

God bless you, Annette, my daughter Meaghan, her girlfriend Ellen, and our friends Mandi and TJ, cousin Michael and so many more, for allowing yourselves be who you are - - WE LOVE YOU ALL!

May your world be beautiful because you chose to do beautiful things in it!