Parker

Parker, age 5

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (1994)

Nothing was more exhilarating than whirling and twirling in my mother's dresses. Here, I am wearing my favorite of hers. It was lightweight, covered in beautiful roses, and just sheer enough to feed my need to walk on the wild side.

How my mother was surprised when my infatuation with boys came out in the open, I haven't the slightest idea.

I think a lot of people that have struggled with being different wish their family would have walked them through the awkward glances, and the general lack of comfort that comes with growing up that way.

Even so, I could never blame my family for being just as confused as I was, at the time.

I remember feeling a little fancier than other boys my age.

My concerns, were different from their concerns:


Why would my cousin let her dolls have such ratty hair?
If I couldn't have a purse, where was I supposed to put my things?
Why didn't the Pink and the Red Power Rangers ever get together?

I mean, they were both hot. It made sense.

My VHS copy of "The Wizard of Oz" played a key role in my youth. The concept of some small town, decently pretty kid, being swept off to a far away land - only to be truly wanted, occasionally envied, befriended by eccentrics, and come home at the end of the day having learned all of life's lessons - was the most perfect scenario I'd ever heard of.

Pop culture was my first addiction, though. Late at night, in music videos, I'd catch glimpses of myself in people who seemed unimaginably confident and beautiful. That's all I've ever wanted to be.

Since those days of twirling and brushing doll hair, I've found my beauty and comfort in creativity. I'm a stylist at the most rock 'n roll hair salon in Oklahoma. I'm also a musician, I'm an artist, I'm still fancy, and I'm still learning.

I'm learning that it does get better. Exceptionally better.

Parker's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Fred Savage (in "The Wonder Years")

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Rae

Rae, age 5
Barstow, California (1974)

I was always the one girl who wanted to play cops and robbers with the boys,
or build forts in the desert. I loved getting dirty.

I loved watching "Masters Of The Universe" because I thought Teela was cool. But the real reason was I thought her father, Man-at-Arms, was even cooler.

I knew I was gay around age 10. I was having  giddy feelings for some of my girl friends. I knew I was different, but I just didn't know in what way.

Seeing this picture of myself decked out in a dress, now makes me realize just how uncomfortable I always was in girls clothing. It was a nice feeling to be dressed up, but I would have been happier in a little suit and tie.

When I came out in 2009, the majority of my family's responses were:

"We have known forever, but we were waiting for you to be comfortable enough to tell us."

None of my family members, including my own children, have bad feelings about me being a lesbian. In fact, they all know I'm happier now, because I don't have to hide who I really am.

My message is: Be true to yourself, and do not hide who you really are.

Yes, it might be difficult. But don't miss out on the life you could have, because you're too busy living the life someone else wants you to have.

I missed about 20 years of true happiness, because I was too afraid to be myself. So don't live in fear.

Rae's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Lynda Carter (as "Wonder Woman")

Seeing her in 'Wonder Woman' made my little heart flutter like crazy
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Colin

Colin, age 4

Dayton, OH (1964)

I'm the the youngest of 7 children, in an Irish Catholic family in Dayton Ohio. As far back as I can remember, my mother made sure that I knew I was special.

I can remember the day of this picture very clearly. I had dressed up all by myself upstairs, and was so proud of it, I descended the stairs to show the family.

Don't mistake the look on my face for sadness. It was more just disappointment at my family's initial reaction, when they first saw me coming down the stairs.

I was looking for admiration or awe at the "ensemble" I'd created out of diverse items I'd found in a closet.

My family laughed and took this picture. But I remember feeling like royalty,
as I descended down those stairs.

This picture now rests on our mantle, next to a childhood picture of my husband. His photo is from when he was around 6-years old. In it, he's holding a can of worms for fishing, and he looks so happy.

I guess the old saying that "opposites attract" holds true.
And we have been together for over 28 years now.

My message to all is:

Never, ever let anyone make you feel less than the wonderfully special human being that you are! You are FABULOUS!

Isaac

Isaac, age 4

Lodi, Wisconsin (1994)

This is a picture of me dressing up in the pre-school that I attended. It was actually published in the local paper, for a feature story about the pre-school.

I loved to put on that tutu and dance around the play area, and pretend to be a princess. I loved making the other students play princess with me, especially the boys.

I used to crank up some Amy Grant, Madonna, or Whitney Houston and dance into my own little world.

Looking back at this picture as an adult, I regret how long I tried to pretend to be a "normal" heterosexual male. When it was so obvious to me, that I wasn't.

I know it can be hard when you are raised in a conservative family and town, like I was.



But being out and proud is one of the greatest feelings I have ever felt.
It far out-weighs all the prejudice and hate that was directed at me.

So, my dearies: Be you a child, adolescent, or adult who is dealing with your identity, here is my advice: Don't doubt the feelings you are experiencing.

Embrace that you are different. And don't let your parents, community members, or friends make you into something you aren't - just because they might be uncomfortable with it.
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Katy

Katy, age 1

Des Moines, IA (1957)

This photo shows me on my first birthday. My Great Aunt Dee was trying to indoctrinate me into the joys of being a girl. Even back then, I was dubious.

I knew I was different from others at a very early age. By the time I was 3, I was obsessed with gender. I would puzzle out who was a boy and who was a girl, and try to figure out where I fit in.

In the 1950's, gender roles were very clearly defined, and I didn't feel comfortable wearing dresses and doing girly things. But I didn't really want to be a boy, either. I figured there must be a 3rd gender that was half-boy and half-girl, and that's what I was.

I was always looking for others like me - and I found them. I was fascinated by a woman I once saw who smoked a pipe. She was one of us. I adored Mary Martin in the role of "Peter Pan." She was one of us, too.

But I found my true kindred spirit in a children's book my mother used to read to me. It was the character Christopher Robin in A.A. Milne's Winnie The Pooh series. In my 3-year old mind, he was the quintessential 3rd gender.

Plus he had two names: Christopher was a boy's name, and Robin was a girl's name. The illustrations showed him with long, curly hair and dressed in what looked to me like girl's clothes. He also wore Mary Jane shoes, just like the ones
I wore to Sunday school. And yet in the book, Christopher Robin was always referred to as "he."

Whenever my mother read one of the books to me, I'd ask:

"Is Christopher Robin a boy or a girl?"
"A boy," she'd respond
"Then why does he look like a girl?" I'd ask

I was hoping that this time she'd tell me he was both boy and girl.
But she never said that. She always had the same reply:

"Because he's from England."

It wasn't quite the answer I had wanted. But it at least gave me hope, that somewhere there was a place where I could find people that were like me.

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Sebastian

Sebastian, age 4

Maple Shade, NJ (1983)

I think this was taken at a party for my sister. Clearly, I wanted to make it all about me! I was raised by adoring, retired parents who had me unexpectedly.

"The SON Will Come Out, Tomorrow"

While I later endured the suburban de rigueur rites known as Cub Scouts and softball - where I would sneak off and pick dandelions, or tell stories until my name was screamed for - the fashionable sash and parasol were both allowed by my father.

My dad said little boys of his generation frequently dressed in drag for Halloween. As for my mother? She was a sort of suburban Auntie Mame!

"Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!"

My parents realized suburbia was no place to raise a fabulous, gay child. So at 8, we moved to Philadelphia so they could quit driving. Despite early beatings from local urban "thugs" I found my niche at a progressive prep school. That's where I found, art, writing, and wonderful friends.

In this picture, I see both the excitement and nervousness of my feminine sash and decidedly Victorian, little-girl pose. Now, I look much the same. I still have ponderous brown eyes that are both thrilled and afraid to be in front of a camera.

I still have a tendency to wear bright colors in strange combinations. However,
I don't dress in drag that often. Although, there are requests at parties, which I do occasionally make good on.

I have always, as many gay people have, taken risks. Professionally, that means making my dreams come true, and NOT fitting into any one role. At 25, I tried moving to Switzerland, but it didn't work out. At 27, I quit a stable job and started writing professionally, with a variety of odd-jobs and side gigs to keep me afloat.

Now at 31, I live in Wilton Manors, Florida - the GAYEST town in America, outside of Fort Lauderdale. I'm also the editor of the South Florida Gay News, and life IS a banquet!