Roger

Roger, age 11

Plettenberg Bay, South Africa (1966)

By the age of 5 I knew I was different. I grew up in a small coastal resort town, population then of about 1,200 people. Pop culture frightened me then, and
I switched off the radio when "modern music" was played.

One night, I'd wondered away from the colonial stone terrace, where the parents were being served drinks by the staff in their red-sashed, white uniforms.

Down a long grassed ceiling passage, through a bathroom doorway slightly ajar, I came across our hosts' son taking his early evening bath.

The reflection of candle light on the clear water in the white enamel bath, the fragrance of the grass roof, the shiny and smooth soap-scented muscled body, and the rough male kiss of fresh towels reverberated in the very depth of my being.

I was 21 when I told my parents I was gay. They asked, "What does that mean?" "Homosexual," I stammered. And it was left like that, and never spoken of again.

At 8-years old I fell in love with a nameless, dashing soldier dressed in full mess kit. His hand extended to a beautiful lady in a turquoise frilly ball gown, in an invitation to dance. He was on the cover of my first LP, and I played the Viennese waltzes over and over again, until I knew every note and was dancing with him.

Seeing this picture now, I feel stupid and camp. And quite frankly, ridiculous. However, I remember that back then, I was happy carefree and in love with life.
______________________________________________________

* ANDY BELL on "Born This Way Radio!" *

Hey everyone!

Be sure to stream & listen every Sunday night!

"BORN THIS WAY RADIO"
Sunday, April 10th
:: With Our Special Guests ::
ANDY BELL of Erasure & Justin Bond!

8pm till 10pm (PDT // LA, CA time)

Streaming live & worldwide! Click: JustinTV/Moheak

"Born This Way Radio" is a 2-hour program dedicated to LGBTQ listeners,

featuring open and honest discussions and chit-chat about our experiences,

LGBTQ related music, comedy, current events, and advice

Inspired by this blog, the show will encourage listener participation from

LGBTQ kids - and adults or parents - who might be struggling with issues of
coming out, bullying, or harassment. Or just a fun place to chat!

We'll be taking your phone calls live at (323) 664-3251,
and chatting via your postings on Twitter and on Facebook.

All in an environment where callers can feel safe, understood, and accepted.

And yes, entertained too! We also invite all our straight allies to listen as well!

CLICK: More info on the show on Facebook

CLICK: LIKE the "Born This Way Radio" page on Facebook

CLICK: Follow @BornThisWayLive on Twitter

CLICK: Download the FREE Moheak Radio Mobile App

______________________________________________

Podcast streams of past shows are here:

Direct link - Divshare.com/download/14541415-02e

Dean

Dean, age 8

Great Falls, South Carolina (1981)

My parents divorced when I was a baby, and my father disappeared completely from my life. Later, my mother married a man that didn't want me around, and so I fell into the care of my grandparents. Although they took care of my physical needs, my emotional needs went largely unmet. I was rarely touched or held, and often craved those physical expressions of affection.

Growing up gay in a small town in South Carolina was very hard, to say the least.

Looking back, I always knew that I was different. Unfortunately, my peers knew it too, and I had very few friends.

Being a loner, I had a vivid imagination and very active fantasy life. I developed a huge crush on Bo Duke on "Dukes of Hazzard."

I didn't know what it meant, but my heart skipped a beat every time he slide across the General Lee.

I often imagined Bo spending time with me, doing things that fathers and sons did together. Such as fishing, working on cars, or helping me with my homework.

I was often the target of both physical and verbal bullies, and found very little solace at home as well. Halloween was my favorite time of year because I got to dress up, and I could be somebody else. Because I didn't really want to be me.

As I grew up and learned to like myself, I actually became grateful to all those bullies. Because it was their abuse that made me the strong person I am today. And I developed a thick skin and sharp wit to combat their insults and injuries.

And the imagination that I developed to help me cope with life's stress, helped me to discover myself as an artist and a writer.

As much as it hurt at the time, I wouldn't change my childhood for anything in the world. All those experiences made me who I am today: A strong, gay man who likes himself and loves his life. What more could you ask for?

Dean's first, famous-person same sex crush:

John Schneider (on "Dukes of Hazzard")

_________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Tweet

DJ

DJ, age 3

Prince George, Canada (1978)

I have only a brief flash of memory of this photo, but I have a happy memory of it. I was the kid that moved a lot, and finally laid roots in Sussex, NB Canada till I was 16. I was also the kid that everyone picked on.

The "gay" taunts started in 3rd grade, and were constant. I had a rough life at home, and somehow survived the cruel hell of school kids' taunts, fights, and abuse at home.

I didn't know I was gay till about 12, and my first boy crush was at 14. He was the boy next door that was just out of reach.

I had very few real friends, most of which were girls, and was NOT the popular kid.

I remember my fascination with Madonna in 1990, as I was "voguing" along with her in the video. Ditto with Paula Abdul's "Cold Hearted" video.

Looking at this picture now, I think my smile is what got me through a lot of the hard times. I think being gay gives us a unique spirit, and it's a strong one.

If I had a message for those out there going through the rough times like I did,
I would have to say: It can't rain all the time.

If you stand up to be who you are, and don't give in to the hate, you will be the one driving the Mercedes. And those idiots that once taunted and hated you? They'll be washing it for you. I have seen it many times.

Karma has a funny way of dealing with those people. So just smile, and walk on.
There are better people out there for you.

After a lot of turmoil growing up gay in backwoods places, I am now in Calgary with my partner of 9 years. We are both out, and proud. I am living proof that "Fairy Tales" can come true. So hang in there, because it does happen.

DJ's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Will Wheaton (in "Star Trek: Next Generation")
River Phoenix & Donnie Wahlberg (New Kids On The Block)
Once a Trekkie, always a Trekkie...
____________________________________________________