Darcy

Darcy, age 3
New Philadelphia, Ohio (1987)

As a kid, I was a little odd. I liked girly things to an extent. I was okay with dresses, but not jewelry. I liked dolls, but I preferred crafty creative endeavors more. I guess it was kind of telling that when playing with Barbie dolls, I always had two Barbies living together, with no Ken around. Ken was just not interesting or necessary to me.

I loved Punky Brewster. She was
one of my early role models/loves. The Spice Girls were a major obsession, too. I had a new favorite member every few weeks.

And Gwen Stefani in the No Doubt days was the love of my life.

All these fierce women plastered my bedroom walls in high school.

Sadly, I got teased pretty badly in high school. I was called a slut, a dyke, a freak.

I cut off all my hair in 10th grade, and wore crazy thrift store clothes.

That probably didn't help much, but
I liked looking that way.

I always kissed girls but dated guys, and I tried really hard to make those relationships work.

I thought there was something wrong with me, as I was so unhappy. I spent years in therapy and on medication, thinking I was somehow essentially broken and would never find that spark of joy in my life. I drank heavily and used drugs and hated myself.

Finally, now, at age 27, I have the most amazing, beautiful girlfriend I could ever ask for. I finally feel like the missing piece has been found.

I also learned there was never anything wrong with me. I was just trying to fit into a place that wasn't meant for me. I don’t know what my future holds, but I finally found happiness. And I know I'm just fine exactly the way I am.

Darcy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Soleil Moon Frye (as "Punky Brewster")
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Alex

Alex, age 7
Glenrose, TX (1995)

This picture was taken at Dinosaur Valley State Park in Glenrose, Texas.
I found it a few years ago, and my first thought was, "I look like such a girl!"

When I was 3, my grandparents took my brother and I toy shopping. My brother picked out a battery operated robot.
I wanted a GoGo My Walkin' Pup - basically a girl's robotic poodle. Amazingly, they bought it for me!

I've known I was different since age 3, but I don't think I'd ever heard the word 'gay' until 14. And I wouldn't admit to myself that I was until 20.

And in Texas, we didn't talk about gay people, unless to call someone a f*g. Throughout middle school, that someone was usually me.

I came out to my family at 21, and they couldn't have been better about it.

Everything is so much easier now that I've gotten out of my own way and allowed myself to be the man I was born to become.

Today, I'm sort of a mixed bag kind of gay. I like being athletic and working out, but I also like quilting. My main passion is being as limitlessly creative as I possibly can, and I've written seven books to date. One is about my experiences growing up gay in rural Texas.

If I could say one thing to anyone questioning themselves, it would be this:
In a contest between your head and your heart, always follow your heart.

Your head is subject to the opinions of the most charismatic person you meet.
But your heart is always the purest, most undiluted voice of who YOU really are.

Alex's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Austin St. John (the Red Power Ranger)
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Eric

Eric, age 2
Lille, France (1995)

I've always been different. I loved playing with girls, but not with boys or playing boys' stuff. In fact, I hated boys because they were mean to me!

I was the weird boy of the school who didn't play football, and who spent his time drawing or reading. I even had Barbie dolls.

I first realized that I might be gay at 13. I felt things for boys before, but never thought I might be gay.

When I was sure I was gay, I wanted to die. I felt ashamed and disgusted. And I swore I would only date girls.

But at age 16, and pretty sure I wasn't gay? I fell madly in love with a guy!

I was feeling so good, I knew it couldn't be wrong. However, after being rejected by this guy who didn't love me back, I finally started to come out. I first told my friends and then my parents. They were very supportive, and I feel very lucky.

Today, I am out, gay, and proud - and I love it!
And PS: I still love wearing this hat, and I still think cowboys are so sexy!

Eric's first, famous-person same sex crush:
The two guys kissing in Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" video

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Collin

Collin, age 7
Hampshire, England (1997)

This is me and my little sister, back when I was a young girl named Naomi.
I was always a bit of a tomboy and always asked to have short hair, which Mum was reluctant to let me do. Unfortunately, she was proven right, as when I started Junior High, I was forced to grow it again, due to relentless bullying.

I didn't realize I was unusual until my sister was born. I'd always assumed that what I thought was normal: To wish you'd been born a boy, or hope you'd wake up one morning as a boy.

I fit in well with my younger brothers. But as I grew up, I started realizing that maybe I was the odd one out. I hated puberty and felt completely alienated from everyone around me, particularly as I went to an all-girls' school.

I'd heard of lesbians being different, so I tried looking at girls. But they still didn't interest me, so I gave up.

I first hear the word "transgender" in college, as a friend I made there was transitioning from male to female.

And right away it made sense, even though I was scared to admit it to anyone. When I finally told my parents, they'd been expecting it for a while, although they still weren't happy about it.

I had a few bad reactions from friends too, particularly my then-boyfriend who caused me to end up in the hospital for a day. But on the whole, it went OK.

Today, I've just finished my 2nd year of a 3-year university degree. I've been on testosterone for over a year, and I'm preparing for top surgery soon. My family and friends are supportive, and I'm much more comfortable with who I am.

One troubling comment I got back then was:
"Why can't you just be a straight girl? It would be so much easier."

So to any other gay or transgender people out there, I'd say to believe in yourself. Transitioning is about showing who you are, so don't let other people tell you what's right for you. It may be harder at first, but it's worth it in the long run.
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