Tootsie

Tootsie, age 5

Rochester, New York (1978)

I was way too young to know what “gay” meant, but I knew I wanted to be a boy. I was picked for the lead role in our kindergarten play, The Nutcracker, but I turned it down because I would have to be a princess and be kissed by a boy!

“Did I really need to come out to my parents?”

During recess the boys and girls would split up and I always went with the boys. I even remember a game where if you pushed the merry-go-round to the left, it was the girls’ way, and if you pushed it to the right it was the boys’ way. I always teamed up with the boys to push it their way.

More than anything, I loved playing sports with boys – and the more physical, the better.

Things like tackle football with the neighborhood kids or being on an all-boys ice hockey team.

I used to dream of becoming a professional athlete and always saw that vision as a man.

I remember that around the time that this photo was taken, in kindergarten, I started to notice the difference between boys and girls. I told my Mom I wanted to be a boy, and she said I couldn't. I couldn't understand why I was a girl, because I wanted to be a boy so badly.

I think this picture captures me at an age where I still had that dream. Where I could be happy feeling like a boy, and the reality of the world or my circumstances had not set in yet.

Tootsie's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

"Cagney & Lacey"
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Lisa

Lisa, age 6

Long Island, NY (1968)

I grew up with 2 older brothers and was a tomboy (which was a word that adults used pejoratively against me at the time). There was no way I would wear a dress; though my poor mom did try. I played sports and "boy's" games. I was the only girl that the boys let play soccer with in 2nd grade recreation.

"Lisa and Scotty"

I had male and female friends. I never had a doll. From this photo you can see that I had a doll carriage, but I pushed my dog Scotty around it, not any dolls. I'm sure my parents bought it for me with the hope that I would use it for dolls, not the dog. Oh well, nice try.

I look at this photo now with a combination of A-ha! (short boyish haircut, tank top, boys' corduroys, blue sneakers, and a dog rather than doll in the carriage), and the understanding that I must have done what I had to do with what I was given. Mom gives you a doll carriage; improvise.

I think I realized something was up when I was 4 years old and was coaxed by my brothers to wrestle a 3 year old female friend on the neighbor's lawn, much to my friend's chagrin. She was horrified; it seems relatively normal to me.

I grew up having crushes on my brothers' girlfriends, but knew I should never say anything.

Lisa's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Eartha Kitt (Catwoman on "Batman"),
Ali MacGraw ("Love Story"), & Aliza Kashi (Israeli singer)

And I identified with Kristy McNichol (as Buddy on "Family")
and Tatum O'Neal, in "Paper Moon"
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Brendan

Brendan, age 9

Long Island, NY (1979)

Growing up the youngest of 7 children, there was a sense that I could do no wrong. Since my parents had been through it all with the other 6 kids, by the time they got to  raising me, I could be whatever and whoever I wanted to be with much support - and no judgements.

"Liza with a Z!"

Which is clearly obvious in this picture of one of my brothers graduating from college.

This picture represents only a small portion of the family members present at the time.

But there I am in the center of the action, side-beveling and giving face and preparing for some kickline like the little Liza Minnelli I was.

I love this picture because I look so unabashedly happy and completely unselfconscious.

Am I like this today? At times, absolutely yes. Which is a nice thing to be able to say.


I always knew I was distinctly different from everyone around me, and my parents made me feel special and loved through it all. When I came out to my parents when I graduated from college, it was no different.

I am a lucky man, indeed.

Brendan's first, famous person same sex crush:

Doug McKeon ("On Golden Pond")

Rich

Rich, age 10
Queens, NY (1956)

I’m in the back wearing glasses. I was 10, and the bike was a lovely color red.
I remember that my parents gave me a choice that year of either having a birthday party, or getting a bike for Christmas. I chose the bike. I’m not sure who I was posing with, maybe Butch from around the block. I don’t know why he’s holding my bike, but it did leave me free to hold him. 

Gertz Department Store had a kids club, which showed movies a few times a year and gave out prizes. The film was always Tarzan with Johnny Weissmuller, and I really loved watching him all but naked swinging through the trees.

I don't remember a time when I didn’t feel just a bit different, a little tentative, or a bit unsure. But I also knew I was kind of special, even if others didn’t know or recognize that.

Rich's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Johnny Weissmuller ("Tarzan")
I still have a movie still of him hanging in my bedroom

Liz

Liz, age 6

Buffalo, NY (1961)

I was always a tomboy. My mother had to bribe me to wear a dress, and I insisted on no puffed sleeves or ruffles of any kind. Most of the time, I was dressed as a cowboy or in some kind of uniform and always carrying a toy gun. When space travel became the next new thing, I became obsessed with all things NASA and wanted to be an astronaut. I would lie upside down in our living room chairs and pretend I was orbiting Earth in my own rocket.

I think I always knew I was “different,” but never really understood what that meant. When I was 7 or 8, I developed a huge crush on my very butch gym teacher (didn’t we all?), but my mother told me crushes on other girls were perfectly normal. I spent a lot of time being “perfectly normal” during six years at summer camp, with many crushes on older campers and cute, butch counselors.

It never occurred to me that I was doing anything wrong, and none of my crushes ever materialized into anything more than long, flowery letters over the winter professing undying friendship. That’s what girls did, right?

I was also lucky enough to go to all-girls’ schools from age 9 – 17, so my perfectly normal crushes intensified, but I dated boys throughout high school and college, because that’s what you did. It wasn’t until my senior year in college that I finally came to terms with my gayness. My crushes had become more intense, and I knew I wanted more from another woman than long, flowery letters. It was a relief to finally embrace my queer self.

I came out in 1978 amid newly formed gay rights groups and a radicalized political climate that would get the ball rolling for many of the changes we’re seeing today. Back then, I couldn’t imagine marriage rights, laws protecting GLBT jobs and housing, and out GLBT political candidates. In the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, I marched in Gay Pride parades where half of my friends had to wear bags on their heads, to protect their identities.

Equal rights have come a long way...
But the road to complete equality is still a good distance away.

Wren

Wren, age 8
Elmore, NY (1980)

"Giving you Mother Goose REALNESS!

Here we are in my childhood home just outside of Queens, NY. I'm in the feather boa and black socks as evening gloves, performing various nursery rhymes for my relatives.

Though I cant IMAGINE what nursery rhyme WE must have been doing...

Next to me was a "Fresh Air Fund" boy named Ulysses, from Brooklyn. He was there to enjoy the suburbs.

Boy was he in for it!!!!!

This was pretty common in my house. My parents encouraged my brother and I to always be creative, and accept ourselves and others.

So even though I felt different, I was ENCOURAGED to be myself.

So I did hook-rugs with the girls instead of playing sports. I read a lot and performed the Evita commercials with my brother on the stairs in our living room.

You know, regular kid stuff!!!!!

So I was VERY lucky. I grew up in a safe, supportive home. Not to say it didn't have its ups and downs - but for the most, part my childhood was magical.

And I took a lot of flack from the outside world for it - and STILL do.

People don't like what's different. It SCARES them, because it makes them face what's inside themselves; the things they HIDE, the things they left behind.

It's too bad, because I STILL love to put on a bow and do a reenactment of Little Boy Blue every once in awhile. ;-)

Wren's first, famous-person same sex crush:
John Schneider ("Dukes Of Hazzard")
Oh, those tight jeans! WOOF!

Tommy

Tommy, age 5

Ballston Spa, NY (1969)

I love this photo. I had no idea I was supposed to feel like something was "wrong with me" yet. The blue feather says it all.

I was about 5 years-old and I never went anywhere with out it. I felt I was more like a girl than a boy from about this age, until I hit puberty when my feelings were verified. Then I was sure I was doomed.

I didn't tell a soul until I came out at 22. Thank God times have changed!

Tommy's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Robbie Benson & Scott Baio
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