March 09, 2011

Michelle

Michelle, age 5
Limerick, Ireland (1998)

Growing up in Ireland, I was always a little tomboy. I didn't mind getting dirty,  and I spent around 6 years in a pair of denim dungarees. This was shot at my grandmother's farm, and notice the rainbows on my t-shirt - very fitting!

I realized when I was very young that I felt different from other girls. My first crush was Ginger Spice from the Spice Girls. I think it was our common red-headedness that sealed the deal for me. I wanted to marry her.

I didn't realize till later that most girls my age wanted to marry the Backstreet Boys instead.


I never chose to be anything: I was just a carefree, little, gay Irish girl from day one. That's who I see when I look at this picture now.

I came out to my parents when I was 13, and they were fantastic about it. They loved me even more for the courage it took to do so. They even walked with me last year in the Gay Pride parade.

I may only be 18 now, but I feel like I have wisdom and experience beyond my years from coming out so early.

To anyone out there who feels like they need to hide I say this: Hiding who you are may be easier, but trust me, the freedom that comes with being honest, open and proud is truly a million times better. I wouldn't change myself for the world.

Love the gay child you once were, and love the gay adult you are now.

Michelle's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice, The Spice Girls)
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Diverse Communities: The Evolution of Gay and Lesbian Politics in Ireland (Undercurrents) Straight Parents, Gay Children: Keeping Families Together Redheads! (Bernard of Hollywood Pin-Ups)

Paul

Paul, age 2
Fort Worth, TX (1969)

Here I am at age 2. I don't have a significant number of memories from this time, but don't I look great? The pink balloon and the Hollywood shades say it all. While I grew up in a city, my family had ties to ranching and farming, and I did not enjoy the "man's work" that was involved on the ranch that much.


While I didn't mind shooting a gun and fishing, I did not enjoy digging post holes. My "moment of knowing" I was different was probably watching game shows with my mom. Paul Lynde ("Hollywood Squares") and Charles Nelson-Reilly ("Match Game") always made my mom and I laugh. It was sort of a secret we shared, because my dad and brother never really got that humor.

My first same-sex crush was probably Shaun Cassidy on "The Hardy Boys" TV show. And now that I think about it, I think I liked Parker Stevenson more. But Shaun had that album with "Da Doo Ron Ron," and I played it over and over, singing into a hairbrush the whole time.

As for a message to young kids now, whether gay or not, my advice would be:

Live your own life.

It's tough sometimes for everyone. Gay kids aren't the only ones with rough times. We're at a time in history of telling straight kids to understand how tough life is for gay kids - but like so much else in life, it's a two-way street.

Those straight kids may be going through some pretty rough times, too. While I'm not religious now, I like the the part of the prayer of St. Francis which says, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood". Another great quote is from a bumper sticker: "Prejudice rarely survives experience."

Gay kids: reach out to your straight classmates and help them through a tough time. I promise, they will be there for you when it's your turn.

PS: I'm really thankful for whoever took this picture, and that it survived!

Paul's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Parker Stevenson & Shaun Cassidy ("The Hardy Boys")
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Hardy Boys Shaun Cassidy Parker Stevenson 16x20 Gay-straight Alliances: A Handbook for Students, Educators, and Parents (Haworth Series on GLBT Youth & Adolescence) Center Square: The Paul Lynde Story Best of Match Game DVD Collection

Brooke

Brooke, age 3
Richfield, Minnesota (1992)

This is one of the rare girly pictures I have of myself. It was Halloween.

I was always a friendly kid. In daycare, there were a lot of girls, so I'd volunteer to take the role of Ken, or play "house" as the dad.

I loved rough-housing and playing in the dirt with the boys.

I have two older sisters, so I had to hold my own, therefore I was more muscular than most girls my age. I played with Legos and idolized the princesses in Disney movies. I hated when my sisters tried dressing me up, which they did often

But I got teased a lot for being a "tomboy" by EVERYONE, including my family.

I always knew I was different, but had no idea why. I just felt more like a boy.
I always have. But I didn't really realize how different I felt, or what it really was, until I was a freshman in high school.

I slowly just realized over time that I really liked the way girls looked, and then it transitioned into me wanting to kiss them, and more. My high school German teacher was my first legitimate same-sex "real person" crush.

I had posters of women up in my room, but I always put pictures of men up too, so it didn't seem too weird to my parents. It didn't seem weird to me!

I really love Amanda Palmer from the Dresden Dolls, too.
She was so influential in my adolescence.

I'm 21 now, and I'm still not out to my family. It's a work in progress. I know they'll be accepting, but it’s just that general coming-out fear that's difficult getting over. I'm planning on coming out before my 22nd birthday.

I have wonderful and supportive friends that understand me, and I'm very grateful for having them in my life. They've guided me in the right direction and taught me so many things.

I'm happy being me. I wouldn't change it for the world!  

Brooke's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Rachel Weisz
I loved watching her in "The Mummy." She was so dreamy!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


Michael

Michael, age 5
Ontario, Canada (1982)

Here I am on the front lawn of my childhood home. Behind me is the Blue Spruce tree my parents had planted years earlier. I have fond memories of playing in our yard, and smelling the sweet summer air. It would only be a few years later when I'd come to understand that I was different from the other boys.

My first crush was on a camp counselor one year at summer camp. I also had a crush on Morten Harket from the band A-ha. The video for "Take On Me" would have me transfixed to the TV screen.

After a fairly happy childhood, I soon experienced cruel high school taunts and violence, because I identified as gay.

Thankfully, I got through it all, and now live an open and successful life.



To those who are struggling today, I would ask that you remember that you are entitled to live your life in an honest and fulfilling way. No one has the right to take that from you. It's your world, too.

Michael's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Morten Harket (singer in A-Ha)
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Brodsky Tune (Album Version)Lesbian and Gay Rights in Canada: Social Movements and Equality-Seeking, 1971-1995The Tricky Part: A boy's story of sexual trespass, a man's journey to forgivenessAnd It Was Full of Light!: Finding the courage to overcome homophobic bullying and hate