March 22, 2011

Nino

Nino, age 6
Manila, Philippines (1992)

When I was a kid, my mom always loved to dress me up as a girl.
Maybe because I had no sisters then. Or maybe she saw it coming?


As you can see from the photos, I was never in an awkward moment. I look really happy and comfortable wearing those girly outfits. And my mom even snapped the photos. I guess she knew that I was different, and I'd appreciate these things someday. She was right, and it's a real treat seeing them as an adult.

I felt I was different from the other boys at school, but I didn't 'out' myself until
I was in college. I felt more comfortable with my sexuality, became happier, and knew that things are going to be better.

Moms always know best, so talk to your mom and your family. Ask them for their support. They'll be surprised at first, but they'll accept you for who you are.

Embrace the real you.
You'll find true happiness when you do.

Chad

Chad, age 4
Kingston, TN (1981)

I knew I was different from a very young age. I had attractions to other boys, but thought something was wrong with me. Or the devil was making me think those thoughts. Being raised in a strong Southern Baptist family, I felt I was in constant sin, and kept the secret to myself. I prayed often to just take these thoughts away, because I knew I would disappoint my family if they knew I had them.

So, I pushed this part of me deep inside and tried my best to not let it out.

I had girlfriends through middle and high school, college, and into my adult life. They were great best friends, who I loved dearly.

But, I always felt I was lying to them. I never felt that connection everyone said you'd feel, when you met the right person for your life.


I was bullied and teased for my mannerisms and appearance throughout school. I took every opportunity to try and get out of my home, school and life. Some choices I made were good, like taking youth group, church, and band trips etc.

Other choices were not so good, like skipping school almost every day in junior high, resulting in me failing a grade level.

It was very difficult to come out, and I still have underlying issues with my family. I feel in time, we will come to a common ground. But, I am out to my family, friends, and at work.

I married the love of my life on August 5, 2009. My husband (who is Korean) and I live in Seoul, Korea where I'm a teacher for Department Of Defense schools on the military base here.

As a gay man working in a federal position, I still face issues with regulations, laws, and politics. But I am proud of who I have become, and grateful for the journey that has led me here.

I often think about how this boy from East Tennessee ended up in Korea, with such a wonder life and partner to share it with.

Chad's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Mark-Paul Gosselaar ("Saved By The Bell")
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Utopia Guide to South Korea (2nd Edition): the Gay and Lesbian Scene in 7 Cities Including Seoul, Pusan, Taegu and TaejonAlways My Child: A Parent's Guide to Understanding Your Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgendered or Questioning Son or DaughterGays and Lesbians in the U.S. Military: DoD Reports on the Comprehensive Review of the Issues Associated with a Repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell (DADT) and Repeal Implementation Plan

March 21, 2011

Matt

Matt, age 7
Murfreesboro, TN (1994)

Although I was never really interested in girls, it wasn't until middle school that I realized I was gay. When I was in 6th grade, I saw Blink 182's music video for "What's My Age Again?" And in the video, the band runs all around town, naked.

It was at this point that I became intrigued by guys' bodies, and started to put the pieces together that I was gay.

I searched the internet long and hard, trying to find un-blurred pictures from that video. Alas, I was unsuccessful.

But I knew at the time, that I should be careful about what I was searching for. Because I didn't know how to clear internet search history at that point.

I admitted my homosexuality to myself early on, but I didn't completely come out until college.

Now I live out and openly, and couldn't be more happy with being honest about my sexuality.

As I look back at the picture of me with my hands on my cocked hip, my only wish is that I had come out sooner. The fears that I had at the time proved to be, for the most part, completely false.

For those struggling to come to terms with their sexuality I offer this:
Only you know when it is time to come out. But know that when you do,
you will be infinitely happier than when you were in the closet.
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What's My Age Again Coming out in College: The Struggle for a Queer Identity Gay Street: Stories of Knoxville, Tennessee Gentlemen Callers: Tennessee Williams, Homosexuality, and Mid-Twentieth-Century Drama

Mike

Mike, age 6
Houston, Texas (1975)

I was born a biological female in 1969, but knew as young as age 4 that I was 'different.' I didn't have the vocabulary for it, but I just always knew I was a boy. I think the picture says a lot about how happy I was, when I got to be ME.

Back then, I was very sad.
I used to lay in bed at night, wishing I'd wake up and be a boy on the outside, too.

I wanted to grow up big and strong and have a wife and kids, but I didn't think that would ever happen.

I was lucky enough to have parents that allowed me some freedom to choose, when it came to my hair and my clothes.

I was very into superheroes, like Superman and Batman.


I think I really connected with feeling powerful, and being able to accomplish great feats. Perhaps because deep down, I knew someday I would embark on a journey that would test me to the core.

When I look at this picture now, it makes me smile. Even when I didn't realize it, I think I had great courage. I was bullied from about 7th to 11th grade - to the point of wanting to end it all. And I am so thankful I didn't!!

I transitioned to male in 1998, with the support of most of my friends and family, and I've had a FANTASTIC life. I have a beautiful wife and kids now, and I am living the life I dreamed about as a small child, but feared I would never have.

I would say to all the young people out there:
It really DOES get better.

You can choose how to live your life, and there are SO many people out there ready to help you!

Mike's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Farrah Fawcett
I thought she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.
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