April 04, 2011

Katherine

Katherine, age1
Chicago, IL (1960)

That's me on the left, being pushed by MY OWN MOTHER to kiss my second cousin Cheryl. I found this in some boxes of old pictures at my dad's house. Though both my parents had been through those boxes numerous times to rummage for scrapbook-worthy snaps, they never chose this one.... hmmm.


Many years later, on the night my mom and I had that conversation, she asked, "What did I do to make you this way?" I wonder now if she was thinking about this picture, pondering: "DAMN. She was fine until that one idiotic party when someone had the bright idea to make the two adorable moptops smooch."

My mom died 5 years ago, and I wish I could have told her that the Christmas party incident recorded in the photo did not "make" me a lesbian. She certainly knew that the other girl in the picture was not a lesbian, so maybe I'm wrong.

I never needed mom's help after that to move in the direction of other girls!
Anyway, I love this picture and I'm glad I rescued it from cardboard box oblivion.

My message to young gay people:

Your family members value integrity, honesty, and loyalty - more than they value observance of social conventions. Or an adherence to a presumed moral code. But, give them some time to remember this after you tell them.

Katherine's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Julie Andrews (in "Mary Poppins")
______________________________________________________
Mary Poppins (45th Anniversary Special Edition)The Kiss (Two Lesbian Girls) Poster Print - 16" X 20"Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay CommunityBody, Remember: A Memoir (Living Out: Gay and Lesbian Autobiographies)

April 01, 2011

Matt

Matt, age 9
Schaumburg, Illinois (1983)

I'm Matt, and this photo was shot while I was visiting my cousin in Phoenix, and her neighborhood friend came by for a swim. The following is my story...


I remember during recess, running around pretending to be Wonder Woman. After school on Fridays, I would sleepover at my cousin's who only had Barbie dolls to play with.

I was juggled around A LOT as a kid, due to my mother being terminally ill with MS, and my father working the 2nd shift at the airport. Because of this, I didn't have many friends and had always been a shy loner.

Junior High came around, and that meant changing/showering in front of other boys during gym class. I knew for sure now, that I was more attracted to them than I was to girls. My parents might have also sensed this, as they promptly enrolled me in a Catholic high school.

A kid on the bus once asked me whether I liked Playboy or Playgirl magazine. Not knowing what either was, I answered the latter. I figured with word "girl" in it, I was safe. The same day, a bully on the football team threw his meatball sandwich on me during lunch, but luckily a girl lent me her cardigan uniform.

It wouldn't be until a year after graduating from college that I came out to my friends, and a year after that to some of my family.

Today, I am finally comfortable with who I am and no longer feel ashamed to admit to my sexuality. It's ironic that those who knew me as a child, say they weren't surprised. Yet people I meet as an adult are usually surprised.

Perhaps I should cue the "Charlie's Angels" theme song and strike that Farrah Fawcett pose more often. Or spin around with my Lasso Of Truth?

Matt's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Gregory Harrison (on "Trapper John, MD")
Dirk Benedict (on "Battlestar Galactica" & "The A-Team")

______________________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

March 31, 2011

Eva

Eva, age 3
Los Angeles, CA (1986)

I remember my Dad took this picture in the home I grew up in. I was always a tomboy, and loved baseball caps. Although now, I prefer them on other females.

I first realized I was a lesbian when I started checking out girls, at the time when all of my friends were checking out the boys. Coming out as a lesbian was as difficult for me, as it is for any gay kid.

But the fact that I am physically disabled and non-verbal made it a bit harder. I use a letter board to spell out my thoughts.

So imagine the stress of slowly coming out, letter by letter. On top of that, I didn't have any gay disabled role models to look up to, and I felt very alone.


Fortunately, when I did come out, my family and friends were totally cool.
I'm pretty sure they all had figured it out by then anyway.

Now as an adult, I embrace my queerness and consider it just one more aspect that makes me unique. Being a gay teen can be very hard, but please remember:

There's a whole community that is ready to help you, and embrace you.
It just may not seem that way right now.

I did find other LGBTQ people within the disabled community, and I'm now able to share my stories, frustrations, and joy.

Eva's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Melissa Joan Hart (in "Clarissa Explains It All")
Growing up as a Nickelodeon kid, I particularly loved her spunk.
______________________________________________________
Clarissa Explains It All - Season One Queer Crips: Disabled Gay Men and Their Stories (Haworth Gay & Lesbian Studies) Pushing the Limits: Disabled Dykes Produce Culture Queer Quotes: On Coming Out and Culture, Love and Lust, Politics and Pride, and Much More

March 30, 2011

Jason

Jason, age 4
Iowa City, IA (1978)

I grew up in a rural farm town in Iowa. I always felt different, but didn't know quite why. But I lucked out having a mom who supported how different and creative I was from a very young age. She encouraged me to bake, sew, and garden with her. Particularly since my 2 sisters were less interested in all that.

When my great-grandmother died, my mom inherited some of her old clothes, including mink stoles, opera gloves, purses, and hats.

My mom wanted them to hold on to her memory, but they soon became my play costumes.

My mother had two close friends with sons, both a bit younger than me. One day while all the moms socialized at our house, we three boys dug into the closet where my great-grandmothers clothes were stored.

We donned various items of clothing, and then paraded out to show them.


We performed a Woman of the Year beauty pageant/fashion show, going back and forth with new ensembles, and doing a fashion runway. And all our moms thought we looked adorable.

I'm still amazed to this day how they didn't scold us or try to stop our behavior. In fact, they applauded our antics.

Years later, all three of us boys came out as gay.

My mother jests that "there was something in the water" where we grew up.
She understands that being gay is like a gift, and I am so grateful for that.

I'm now a multimedia and performing artist, and much of my work is proudly gay-themed. I know that the encouragement I received from an early age to be myself, no matter how different, helped me on my path.

I had to be extremely cautious at different points in my childhood and teenage years about my expressive nature, but I made it through. It didn't necessarily get easier or better, but I got bolder and more certain about who I am.

Which is, being most grateful to be born this way.