Helio

Helio, age 4

Nova Iguaçu, Brazil (1987)

I was born in Rio de Janeiro and lived in Nova Iguaçu. Here, I'm dressed like an indian during a Carnival ball with my parents.

A year later my dad died, and I was raised by mum, who never married again.

My family was very conservative and catholic, and mum was the most homophobic person I'd ever met until then.

I grew up in conflict, because by age 8, I wanted to know what it felt like for those "queer, freak, or abnormal people" my mother always secretly insulted at home.


I came out at 15 and suffered a lot. I was judged, humiliated, and even attacked many times - and my mother was the most aggressive person doing this to me.

It was a great battle to change my family's mind, and it took me about 8 years. Today I’m 27, and my story helped other relatives of mine in the same situation. I have 2 lesbian cousins that came out, and my youngest brother also came out last year, much to my mom's frustration!

I became an arts manager and produced a documentary about the gay life in my city. The film was titled "Nova iGAYçu" and here's the craziest part: My mom was the executive producer! That was quite a change of heart, wasn't it?

But just like my mother, my country needs many more minds changed.

In Brazil, every 3 days a member of gay community is killed, and if we include transsexuals, the statistics get higher. Besides the murders, many teenagers are kicked out by their parents just for being gay or lesbian. And in politics, although many advances have been achieved, we still see politicians getting support from the religious mass to make our lives harder than they already are.

But I see homosexuality as a normal way of life, freer than the hetero way.
And, much happier.

Helio's first, famous-person same sex crush:
George Michael
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Edward

Edward, age 5

Fontana, CA (1991)

I was so happy to bring this picture home and show my mom. This wasn't "picture day," this was for star students known as SUPER STARS! I was always a teacher's pet and was so happy I was being rewarded for it. It was great!

"SUPER STAR! Duh! LOL!"

I always felt different, even at this age. I always liked to wear bright flashy colors, and every night I would pick out and lay out my clothes for the next day.

A new school year was the best time of year, even better then Christmas, because we would go clothes shopping. And I loved the first couple of weeks to show off my new clothes.

My favorite jacket was this bright, shiny red Members Only jacket that I'd wear off my shoulders. And I remember my older brother always trying to pull it back up, and telling me to stop wearing it like that.

Growing up in a Mexican household, I watched a lot of telenovelas (soap operas), so I got to see a lot of hot half-naked Latin men - and that's really when I knew I like boys instead of girls.

The biggest telenovela I remember is "Mari Mar" and I fell in love with Eduardo Capetillo. He was the perfect tall, dark, and handsome type. And now looking at pictures of him, I think that's where I get my fixation for a hairy chest. 

Thanks for the blog - it's GREAT!!!!!

Edward's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Eduardo Capetillo (Mexican actor)
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Kevin

Kevin, age 3
Granby, Connecticut (1964)

This is a picture of me with my sister and her life sized doll. She used to love to dress me in that dolls' clothes when we played together! I remember when I was a little older, I'd sneak up into the attic to play with this doll and her Barbie dolls. I just loved dressing them and spent every minute I could with them.

"With Paula... and The Future Bride Of Chucky!"

I remember trying to “come out” to my Mother when I was about 10, but I just couldn't find the words to clearly say what I was feeling. I could only explain that I liked to do things that girls liked to do, like play house and play with dolls. She assured me it was OK for boys to like those things, and not to worry about it.

The deeper secret that I could not bring myself to tell her was my fascination with grown mens' hairy forearms and arm pits. We had a roofer one Summer working on the house, and I'd climb the ladder every day to watch him work shirtless - without really understanding why he was so fascinating.

Looking at this pic today, I remember how happy I was in that innocent time before beginning school and becoming a total misfit. I always stood out as the effeminate one, constantly picked on all through grade school into high school.

My Father and brother did their best trying to “butch” me up, but I was just too sensitive to enjoy our frequent hunting and fishing trips, and always preferred doing something creative instead. I was always much more comfortable spending time with the women in my family.

My way of rationalizing all of this, was that I was learning how to do everything a man and a woman could do, so I'd always be able to take care of myself.

I never lost faith that there would be a "happily ever after" for me and I finally found it! I have been with my husband 15 years this year. We retired earlier this year (both before age 50) and we're living a permanent vacation in Florida now.

We had a wonderful Civil Union in Connecticut when they became legal, and also married there when that law passed.

I wouldn't change one thing about my past struggles, because those challenges have made me the self-confident person that I am today!

So remember, kids: school years are hard for everyone. Even the most popular and highest achievers have their crosses to bear. I learned later in life that most bullies, when challenged, back right down.

Bullies attack because of their own insecurities. The most beautiful don't think they are good looking, and the brightest don't believe they're smart enough.

So just be strong and be confident - even when you are scared to death!

Kevin's first famous person same sex crushes:
Robert Conrad ("The Wild, Wild West")
Robert's tight pants made me crazy!
Oh, and Wally from 'Leave It To Beaver' sure looked great in a T-shirt!
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Kenny

Kenny, age 11
Detroit, Michigan (1985)

Every Halloween costume from my childhood was female. Over the years, I'd dressed as a witch, a bag lady, a gypsy, a girl vampire, and a girl clown. This one is a particular favorite, since most of my costume clothing here was loaned by my mom. Tonight I would tell people I was "a girl punker".

I wore my mom's shoes, skirt, and jewelry. I think we bought the neon shirt at the mall, and it doubled as part of an outfit for an upcoming dance recital where, I did a routine to Cyndi Lauper's "She Bop." Midway through the number, the stage went to black light, so fluorescents were a necessity.

My mom did my hair and make-up, and she said, 'Rod Stewart hangs his head upside down and blow dries his hair to give it height.'

And so, that's what we did.

I'm guessing this photo was taken by one of my parents. I'm biting my lips in order to conceal a giant smile I was holding in, because I couldn't wait to get out trick or treating that night.

Oh, and my mom still hangs that cardboard skeleton in our house to this day.

Kenny's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Scott Baio

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Mike

Mike, age 6

Orlando, FL (1987)

On my birthday here, I was told we were going to a family member's house for my birthday, and I picked out this outfit that morning, because I wanted to stand out from everyone else at the party. It was going to be a long drive from our place in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, and I napped on the way. Little did I know when I woke up, that the first thing I'd see was the Disney World road sign, and I was so surprised and excited! We spent the whole day doing Disney, and it was one of the greatest birthdays of my life. I got to see all my favorite characters that day!

"Snapshot. Take my picture. Snapshot!!!"

I didn’t know I was gay until I was 12, when I first knew there was a word to describe how I felt. I ALWAYS liked boys, but I thought all boys liked boys, so I never felt “different” and didn’t know there was anything else to feel.

I really miss that spirit I had as a kid.

I wore whatever made me feel good, and didn’t care what anyone else thought about it. Now, there is so much pressure to wear the right brands or the right styles, and that takes the fun out of life.

My message for the gay kids of today is:

Don't lose the wonderful spirit that you have. The only thing you have to hold on to as you grow, is your spirit!

Mike's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

New Kids On The Block

The entire band! I had the lunchbox, the pillow people, the posters,
the action figures - EVERYTHING!

Eric

Eric, age 13

Council Bluffs, Iowa (1988)

Being born and raised in a small town in Iowa, it's probably no surprise that I didn't really fit in with the other kids at school. Luckily, my father is a musician, and I've been singing since I learned how to talk. So I spent most of my childhood performing with my father all over the country!

In my pic, I'd just won a national talent competition. I was probably re-enacting the pageant in my living room, when my mom snapped me in my preferred choice of clothing. I guess some things never change.

I'm very fortunate to have very liberal & accepting parents who encouraged me to be who I am, and do what I love!

I'm 35 now, and I've been making a living by doing just that: I've traveled all over the world singing and dancing!

If I had to do it all over again, I would have come out the moment I first had a crush on a boy in the 3rd grade. People were already making fun of me, and I should have just been my authentic self.

But, I've learned that things definitely do get better. I have a great family, a close support group of friends, and I'm grateful for that every day!

I think the little boy in the picture would be pretty proud of how far he's come!

Eric's first, famous-person same sex crush:

John Ritter (in "Three's Company")
_________________________________________

Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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