Sean

Sean, age 3

Upland, CA (1976)

I had a young mom (she was 19 when I was born), and she of course still liked to chill and be 'mellow in the 70's' with her friends when I was young. One of her friends had a son named Perry, that I remember I just wanted to kiss so badly.
I remember thinking 'I like him, I want to kiss him on the mouth' - and so, I did.

In the process, I knocked his 2-year old sexiness down to the ground! My mom and her friends just thought this was a riot, so they snapped a couple of pics.
Were they high? I'm not sure she would ever admit that, if so! LOL!

Anyhow, I remember thinking those thoughts and remember that I liked this kiss from Perry. And I wanted more. So in the years following, I 'made out' with a few other little boys until about 7, when kids start getting weird.

I'd have to wait another 7 years for my next boy-on-boy kiss.

Sean's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Robert Urich (in "Vegas")
I watched the reruns at 12, and thought Dan Tana cruising the strip was hot!
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Luke

Luke, age 3

Flagler Beach, Florida (1989)

I know this photo was taken on a vacation while visiting my uncle’s family. Sadly, I have no recollection of what was occurring at that moment. So in the hopes I was as much like Stewie Griffin as I'd like my younger self to have been, I imagine I must have been aghast due to something about a family member. Such as whenever I was with my uncle's family, I recall pondering over the absurdity of the millions of varicose veins that painted my older aunt's legs.

I discovered I was gay when I was age 12, but I spent the next 11 years doing everything I could for this not to be the case.

Why? Because I was the golden child in my family.

And the pressure to be perfect screwed with my desire for personal happiness.

Plus, I went to a private school where the students' mantra was, 'Kill anything which might seem queer, overweight, ugly, or dorky'.

And I would have been bully fodder, if my appreciation of the "Sailor Moon" series was exposed. But nowadays, I feel I've made a complete 180 change in the way I look at the fact that I’m gay.

What worked helping me, and what I recommend for young gays is:

1) Come out to a fellow gay who doesn’t pose any risk. I didn’t even really know the first person I told my "secret" to would end up being an incredible mentor. And who helped me more than he knows.

2) Fall in love! It's incredible when the desire to publicly express your feelings for someone outweighs your biggest fear.

Luke's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Mario Lopez (But only while acting as Olympic diver Greg Louganis)
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Wayne

Wayne, age 10
Walton Beach, FL (1972)

Here's me, in the finest fashion of that era. And my mother made that fine shirt for me! Thanks, mom! Funny to see now though, as I grew up to be someone "punk" who ended up wearing such a drab palette of black, gray, and denim.

"The original Tony Manero?"

I was pegged as different very early on. My mom tells me I went through a "red" phase, and even wanted to dress myself from head to toe in red, red, and more red. I DO NOT remember that phase.

But I DO remember my thing with "purple" though. I'd read somewhere that purple was the color of "royalty" and I attached some significance to the fact I was a Leo, and therefore the King Of The Beasts. And I was painfully and obviously different. But somehow, I decided all these connections made sense, as purple was the color of my birthright.

Below, you'll see my first crush was Bobby Sherman. But why can I remember each and every word to his show's TV theme song?

"The bluest skies you'll ever see, are in SEATTLE!
And the hills are green as green, in SEATTLE!
Like a beautiful child, growing up free and wild
Full of hope, full of fears, full of laughter, full of tears
Full of dreams to last the years, in SEATTLE!"

I mean, I know the song was on the back of my cereal box and "theme songs" are built on memorability, but really - all of that??? I can't even remember any character or plot on the show!

Wayne's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Bobby Sherman
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Will

Will, age 5

Ephrata, Pennsylvania (1993)

I was a 5-year old kid who liked making his shadow look as much like the ubiquitous "female" symbol seen outside of restrooms as possible.

When this picture was taken, I doubt I even knew what gay was. However, what I did know was that I loved watching "The Wizard Of Oz," and to me there was nobody more terrifying than the Wicked Witch of the West.

And my mother and father didn't blink an eye when I said I wanted to be a witch for Halloween.

For that I really feel blessed, especially because where I lived was a hive of religious, social conservatives.

I just wish I had a picture of me playing with my Pretty Pink Pony.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Grace

Grace, age 5

Manila, Philippines (1952)

I'm sitting on the bike, and that's my sister with me. And they really tried to "girl" me up by making us dress alike with fluffy dresses. But I was happiest dressed in jeans, or - as you can see here - in my underwear!

I've always been a little tomboy. There were mostly boys in my family, and besides my sister,
I played with the boys.

I was the oldest child, and when we played war I was the General, when we played cowboys, I was the Sheriff.
I didn't like dolls for presents, and I loved guns, tools, and building toys like erector sets.

My family didn't think anything of how I was. At least I don't think so. They did try to make me more lady-like by sending me to a local finishing school,
to learn to walk properly, and put on makeup, etc.

I actually like this picture now, because it confirms me. 

Grace's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Suzanne Pleshette

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Kirk

Kirk, age 7

West Chicago, Illinois (1981)

As a kid I loved Ken dolls. I had quite a collection and enjoyed playing along with my sisters and their Barbies. The only thing was that eventually my sisters outgrew the Barbies, and I never, ever did.

I first put two and two together and knew I was gay around the age of 11.

I had always heard that boys would grow up to like girls, and that was that.

I didn't know if or when I'd begin to develop sexual feelings towards girls.

I also didn't know if all the things I had already been thinking about boys were even sexual at all.

My first clue came from some horrible little everything-you-need-to-know-about-your-body-through-Christ-type of books that my mom had brought home, and surreptitiously slipped onto the bookshelf. In its 200 pages, it mentioned homosexuality exactly once - only to say that it was 'a horrible thing that will NEVER happen to you.'

Well, to hell with that!

I now know that I have always been who I am, and that honesty is the key to living a happy and fulfilled life. Be yourself above all else; if you don't, who will?

First celebrity crush: I don't remember an exact object of my nascent affections, but I do know that seeing boxers all sweaty in their satin shorts gave me very strange feelings inside.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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