Paul

Paul, age 2

Fort Worth, TX (1969)

Here I am at age 2. I don't have a significant number of memories from this time, but don't I look great? The pink balloon and the Hollywood shades say it all. While I grew up in a city, my family had ties to ranching and farming, and I did not enjoy the "man's work" that was involved on the ranch that much.

While I didn't mind shooting a gun and fishing, I did not enjoy digging post holes. My "moment of knowing" I was different was probably watching game shows with my mom. Paul Lynde ("Hollywood Squares") and Charles Nelson-Reilly ("Match Game") always made my mom and I laugh. It was sort of a secret we shared, because my dad and brother never really got that humor.

My first same-sex crush was probably Shaun Cassidy on "The Hardy Boys" TV show. And now that I think about it, I think I liked Parker Stevenson more. But Shaun had that album with "Da Doo Ron Ron," and I played it over and over, singing into a hairbrush the whole time.

As for a message to young kids now, whether gay or not, my advice would be:

Live your own life.

It's tough sometimes for everyone. Gay kids aren't the only ones with rough times. We're at a time in history of telling straight kids to understand how tough life is for gay kids - but like so much else in life, it's a two-way street.

Those straight kids may be going through some pretty rough times, too. While I'm not religious now, I like the the part of the prayer of St. Francis which says, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood". Another great quote is from a bumper sticker: "Prejudice rarely survives experience."

Gay kids: reach out to your straight classmates and help them through a tough time. I promise, they will be there for you when it's your turn.

PS: I'm really thankful for whoever took this picture, and that it survived!

Paul's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Parker Stevenson & Shaun Cassidy ("The Hardy Boys")
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Brooke

Brooke, age 3

Richfield, Minnesota (1992)

This is one of the rare girly pictures I have of myself. It was Halloween.

I was always a friendly kid. In daycare, there were a lot of girls, so I'd volunteer to take the role of Ken, or play "house" as the dad.

I loved rough-housing and playing in the dirt with the boys.

I have two older sisters, so I had to hold my own, therefore I was more muscular than most girls my age. I played with Legos and idolized the princesses in Disney movies. I hated when my sisters tried dressing me up, which they did often

But I got teased a lot for being a "tomboy" by EVERYONE, including my family.

I always knew I was different, but had no idea why. I just felt more like a boy.
I always have. But I didn't really realize how different I felt, or what it really was, until I was a freshman in high school.

I slowly just realized over time that I really liked the way girls looked, and then it transitioned into me wanting to kiss them, and more. My high school German teacher was my first legitimate same-sex "real person" crush.

I had posters of women up in my room, but I always put pictures of men up too, so it didn't seem too weird to my parents. It didn't seem weird to me!

I really love Amanda Palmer from the Dresden Dolls, too.
She was so influential in my adolescence.

I'm 21 now, and I'm still not out to my family. It's a work in progress. I know they'll be accepting, but it’s just that general coming-out fear that's difficult getting over. I'm planning on coming out before my 22nd birthday.

I have wonderful and supportive friends that understand me, and I'm very grateful for having them in my life. They've guided me in the right direction and taught me so many things.

I'm happy being me. I wouldn't change it for the world!  

Brooke's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Rachel Weisz

I loved watching her in "The Mummy." She was so dreamy!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Michael

Michael, age 5

Ontario, Canada (1982)

Here I am on the front lawn of my childhood home. Behind me is the Blue Spruce tree my parents had planted years earlier. I have fond memories of playing in our yard, and smelling the sweet summer air. It would only be a few years later when I'd come to understand that I was different from the other boys.

My first crush was on a camp counselor one year at summer camp. I also had a crush on Morten Harket from the band A-ha. The video for "Take On Me" would have me transfixed to the TV screen.

After a fairly happy childhood, I soon experienced cruel high school taunts and violence, because I identified as gay.

Thankfully, I got through it all, and now live an open and successful life.



To those who are struggling today, I would ask that you remember that you are entitled to live your life in an honest and fulfilling way. No one has the right to take that from you. It's your world, too.

Michael's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Morten Harket (singer in A-Ha)

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Ross

Ross, age 7

Greencastle, Pennsylvania (1976)

Since I was 5 or 6, I thought about kissing boys. Sure, that sounds a little early, but I was brought up in a strict Mormon family, and we had to prepare early for our "Forever Families." My preparation wasn't exactly what they had in mind.

This picture was taken for Halloween. My sister had been going to beauty school, and it was her idea to make me into a girl for the evening.

Practicing makeup on someone is one thing, but she went so far as to make the blouse and skirt to boot.

At the school's Halloween party, everyone just stared at me wondering: "Why didn't that stupid girl get a costume?"

Good times...

I wasn't a girly boy, but I wasn't a boy's boy either. So fitting in with other kids wasn't really an option.

We moved a lot (around the world), and I made friends here and there.

But nobody in my family or church prepared me to deal with the homophobia that hit left and right.

I really envy the kids of today. I met a guy the other day that came out when he was 16, and his family didn't bat an eye.

But to the kids that still have the narrow-minded families and churches to deal with, I tell 'em this:

Be true to yourself. You're the only one that's ever going to make yourself happy. Don't rely on loved ones or God to be true to yourself. Rely on yourself and respect life, and you'll grow into someone pretty awesome.

Currently, I'm a return ex-Mormon missionary with a partner of 19 years.
And life is good. It's like Grandma Moses said, "Life is what you make of it.
Always has been, always will be."
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Tracey

Tracey, age 8

Algonquin, IL (1978)

I have no memory of being an A.A.Y.O. Pixie, but I remember this red baseball cap. A friend of my dad's came to the house, and my brother and I were outside.

"How old are your sons?" he asked. Horrified, my father demanded I never wear that cap again. 'But Daaaaad, why not?' I whined.

And he replied, "Boys wear baseball hats. You don't want people thinking you're a boy, do you?'

For the first time, I realized that my brother and I were not the same. And that my life would be different, because I was a girl.
I felt wrong. I felt "other." 

Over the years, I experienced this feeling of "otherness" over and over again.

I was not femme, but I was not butch. I was "gifted" but I was not a nerd. I was introverted, but I was a clown. I loved playing Atari and Hot Wheels, and watching "Scooby Doo," "The Muppet Show," and "The Facts of Life."

I worshiped Princess Leia from "Star Wars" because she carried a gun, and helped Han and Luke escape from Darth Vader. I rode my bike everywhere and was terrified of dolls. I read too much and did not care about clothes. My best friend was my dog - and she did not mind that I liked to wear baseball caps or had crushes on other girls.

Sometimes I wish my parents had taught me that a girl playing with Star Wars action figures was not shameful. Or, that liking other girls "that way" really did not make me different. It turns out that the desire to play with boys' toys at the androgynous age of 8 is completely normal - and so is being a lesbian.

What I would love most in the world, is for young LGBT kids to understand that there is no need for them to feel "other" now. Because those who try to make them feel different, are just generally uneducated and afraid.

I want them to realize that no matter people's gender or sexual orientation, there is no other. Because we are all fundamentally the same. 

Tracy's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Lindsay Wagner ("The Bionic Woman")
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James

James, age 4

Manila, Philippines (1988)

I was the only baby boy in the family, and I was raised well by my mother, my grandmother, and my five adorable aunts. I was never close to my dad. I never felt different then, but looking back at my photos, I can tell the evidence is really strong that I was indeed different.

My aunts introduced me to Barbie dolls during this stage of my life - and I honestly enjoyed it. They even fixed my face several times, due to easy access to cosmetics, as my grandmother owns a beauty shop.

My mom and my aunts were a big fan of Madonna, and we listened to her songs together until I learned my first song ("True Blue"), and years later, "Like A Prayer".

They also introduced me to Dionne Warwick, Basia, Whitney Houston, Debbie Gibson, and Prince.

They were all our gay icons.

In movies, I always loved watching Disney fairytale flicks, like "Little Mermaid" and "Snow White". I sang their songs in falsetto when I was younger. Yes, I sing like a girl. I was even a soprano when I was 6-years old in our school choir, and used the mermaid song "Part Of Your World" as an audition piece.

From then on, I was bullied by other boys my age for acting and singing like a girl. Which of course, I denied. Eventually, I came out of the closet at the age 16.

And back then, all those pop icons like Madonna are who I truly adored so much.

James' first famous-person same sex crush:
Kevin Richardson (Backstreet Boys)