May 16, 2011

Claire

Claire, age 13
Melbourne, Victoria, Australia (1995)

This was taken in the Melbourne suburb I grew up in. I am the awkward-looking kid in braces on the left. I'm standing with my mum and dad, and my sisters, Eve and Chelsea. I remember that I'd had my orthodontic braces removed not long before this photo was taken, so I was feeling like a million bucks - even with the half-grown-out perm. FYI: perms were cool for exactly two weeks in 1995.


I was a geek at 13. I was an intense, avid bibliophile who was fond of old movies and musicals. When other kids were trying alcohol and cigarettes, I was reading "Wuthering Heights" or imagining I was Sally Bowles in "Cabaret."

I remember being aware of my sexuality at 13, and I had a crush on my English teacher and another student. But being a very widely read kid, I was able to intellectualize it as 'a natural time that many girls go through in their teens' - thank you, Dolly Magazine.

I was obsessed with "Beverly Hills 90210," focused on forming my grunge rock look, and loved watching Video Hits on Saturday mornings. I told everyone that Jason Priestly was my favorite 90210 star, but Shannen Doherty was the one I adored. I even had a poster on my wall of her in leathers on a red motorbike.

I never could understand why it seemed to unnerve my father, but now I know we just have the same taste in women.

I was able to intellectualize my sexuality right up until I came out at 20.
My parents struggled at first, especially my mum, but after a couple of years they came round and are now extremely supportive. As my cousin says:
"Your mum not only changed her stripes, she also bought the tiger."

If I were to give any advice to any same-sex attracted youth, it would be to come out when you feel are ready. And do so in a supportive environment.

That, and never ever get a perm, no matter how "in" it may seem at the time...

Claire's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Shannen Doherty

May 11, 2011

Jakob

Jakob, age 6
Montréal, Québec, Canada (1996)

Me and my two brothers and my sister were more or less raised gender-blind.
My sister used to play with cars and boys' toys and my brothers and I had dolls to play with, too. Nevertheless I'm the only gay one.

And yes, I was born this way.

Around 5th grade, I wasn't able to take my eyes off of other boys in the locker changing room. However, I didn't realize that I was gay.

Like everyone else, I thought one day I was going to marry a wife and start a family.

When I was a child, my parents rarely made me feel that they were by my side or able to console me or help me.

Or even to just listen to me.

So I learned to solve my problems on my own.

I did not comprehend that I was gay until I was around age 15, and I first came out to my best friend.

When I came out to my parents at 17, I felt nervous and dizzy.
But they accepted who I am, and nowadays we get along well with each other.

Jakob's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Pierre Boulanger (in "Mister Ibrahim & The Flowers of the Quran")
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Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Jonas

Jonas, age 8
Pernambuco, Brazil (1994)

I suffered a lot of bullying at school by walking around with the girls and not liking soccer/football.

I was the "different" kid in my class. I was "the fat, the freak, and the gay."

I remember at age 6 watching Britney Spears dancing on TV, and I knew the choreography for "...Baby One More Time."


I was so innocent back then. Now, I've gained the respect of my straight friends.
But, I am still struggling to gain acceptance from my parents.

However, I am very happy now.
And I wouldn't change anything about myself, because I was born this way.

Ken

Ken, age 8
Bay Area, CA (1989)

My parents and I spent the summer of 1989 with my mum's cousins in California.

13 years later, my mum told the same cousins that her son is gay.

"We knew since he was a kid," they replied. "You didn't know?"

My relationship with my mum got so much better after I came out to her.

It took her a few months to "digest the news."

But soon, she was telling all her close friends and relatives about me a year later.

May 09, 2011

Richard

Richard, age 2
Seattle, WA (1979)

Yup, that's me in a dress. I was 2, and a neighbor had given my stylish mom a hand-made, hand-me-down patchwork dress. And being their only child at the time, my folks thought it would be hilarious to have a little photo-shoot. As you can see, I enjoyed it a little too much.

Now, I'm not saying that my mom putting me in a dress made me gay.

I first knew something was up at age 11. I was being called gay and I didn't even know what it meant.

Remember kids, this was way before we could Google stuff.

Also then, I had a poster of MacGyver (my then favorite TV show) on my wall. I recall being drawn into Richard Dean Anderson’s seductive eyes, and we locked lips.

Well, my lips were locked onto a glossy poster over cool Gyprock plaster.

Through my first couple years of junior high, as much as I tried to keep on the down-low, I was subject to bullying. And I would fake being sick to stay at home. Ah, my thespian talents!

By senior year, I had taken those same thespian talents and won over my class, as I proudly owned up to my love of theater. And I let it be known that anyone who labeled it uncool was not worth my time.

It was also senior year that I secretly, semi-officially came out to my best girl friend (who I was rumored to be dating.) Despite being miles away, she continues to me be my rock and is there for me when I've needed her the most.

I came out to my parents when I was 19, after I moved to New York. They were confused and concerned at first, but they knew I wasn't a dummy. And they have always supported me in anything that made me happy.

How lucky am I to have such amazing parents? But looking back on this photo, how could I expect any less from them. They set up my first drag photo shoot!

Richard's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Richard Dean Anderson (on "MacGyver")
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RICHARD DEAN ANDERSON 16X20 COLOR PHOTOHow To Raise An Amazing Child the Montessori WayThe Lady In Question is Charles BuschBeing Normal is the Only Way To Be: Adolescent Perspectives on Gender and School

Martin

Martin, age 4
Orlando, Florida (1980)

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but I think this picture is worth one word: queer. To be completely honest, I don't remember the moment this photo was taken while we were visiting Disneyworld. I do however, remember quite clearly, that as a child I was intrigued by all things glamorous.


Through the innocent eyes of a little Latino gay boy, what's more glamorous than a 6 ft 3 mouse-woman - in a red and white polka dot dress, with super luscious eyelashes, giant yellow pumps, and puffy white gloves? The answer is nothing.

Nothing is more fabulous than Minnie Mouse and her trademark blue
eye-shadow. NOTHING!

The 4-year old Martin, almost instinctively, already knew this to be true. And I think it can be safely said that Minnie Mouse was my first drag queen sighting.

When I look at this picture, I imagine time traveling back to the year 1980. Then I picture grown-up Martin standing in front of tiny Martin, and hugging him and telling him that everything will be okay. And my heart breaks for the difficulty that awaits this sensitive and creative kid.

What I see here is a little boy who is trying to figure out how a fabulous glove was stitched so perfectly. And when I look at this photo, I also wonder how my father could have been disappointed? This is a child with imagination!

He wants to make music and wonderful things and draw lovely pictures.
And so what if he punches like a girl? This boy deserves love.

If I were to show you the uncropped image, you'd also see my mother and my sister. But to me, this moment is not about my family. This moment is about Martin and Minnie. Two souls that understand each other.

This moment is about a gay boy's bliss. He is still unaware of ridicule and discrimination. He is still innocent. He is in love with the construction of a fabulous costume. He seems to know the power of artifice.

And he isn't ashamed quite yet.

Martin's first, famous-person same sex crush:
He-Man, The Most Powerful Man in the Universe

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"