Heath

Heath, age 5
Frankfort, Kentucky (1996)

This photo was shot a few days after I decided to butcher and cut my hair myself, because I was tired of having long blonde curls. I was always running around shirtless, fists flaring in the air, as I fought off the invisible army of bad guys with my invisible fleet of Power Ranger team mates. But running around shirtless isn't what girls did. Only boys did that, and it was very un-ladylike.

And since back then I was known as a girl named Heather, I remember being shouted at to get off my bike and put a shirt on.

And I remember laying in bed praying to God, asking him to make me a boy, so that I could run around shirtless, roll in the mud, spit, and not have to cross my legs.

God didn't turn me into a boy even though I felt so strongly that on the inside I indeed was a boy. When I found out there were other people like me - who were once female-bodied but now lived life as men -
I was so happy.

I was glad to find out that there was a word to describe what I was feeling:

Transgender.

I told my mom, and after she did her own research, she knew that the missing pieces of the puzzle were now found. So at 14 I began my transition, first with my name change, then at 15 with hormones, and at 18 I had my chest surgery.

Most people are jealous because I transitioned so young. They say, "Oh life must have been so much easier for you than it is for me right now." But transitioning in High School in a small town in Kentucky is not easy.

I was bullied everyday. I was shoved into lockers, punched, pushed to the ground, called every name in the book, had my hair set on fire. I was discriminated against even by teachers, not allowed to use the Men or Women's restrooms, and even had a kid threaten to bring a gun to school and kill me.

Looking back at this picture now, it makes me a little embarrassed at how high
I wore my shorts back then. But it always makes me smile about how truly happy I looked, unlike many other photos where I was being forced to wear a dress.

Today, I am a proud man, with an even prouder mother. I'm going to College on the west coast, and holding my own as a man in the Bear community!

My message to LGBTQ youth is to report bullying as soon as it happens. If people don't listen or do anything about it, keep telling until someone does. It doesn't make you less of a person to tell someone that another person is bullying you.

Also, there is a whole other world outside of Middle School and High School.
A whole world that is yours for the taking, where you can make your mark.
But you have to be around to do it.

So my Queerlings, unite! Keep your head up and stay strong!!

Heath's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
John Stamos and singer Rob Thomas (Matchbox 20)
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Darcy

Darcy, age 3
New Philadelphia, Ohio (1987)

As a kid, I was a little odd. I liked girly things to an extent. I was okay with dresses, but not jewelry. I liked dolls, but I preferred crafty creative endeavors more. I guess it was kind of telling that when playing with Barbie dolls, I always had two Barbies living together, with no Ken around. Ken was just not interesting or necessary to me.

I loved Punky Brewster. She was
one of my early role models/loves. The Spice Girls were a major obsession, too. I had a new favorite member every few weeks.

And Gwen Stefani in the No Doubt days was the love of my life.

All these fierce women plastered my bedroom walls in high school.

Sadly, I got teased pretty badly in high school. I was called a slut, a dyke, a freak.

I cut off all my hair in 10th grade, and wore crazy thrift store clothes.

That probably didn't help much, but
I liked looking that way.

I always kissed girls but dated guys, and I tried really hard to make those relationships work.

I thought there was something wrong with me, as I was so unhappy. I spent years in therapy and on medication, thinking I was somehow essentially broken and would never find that spark of joy in my life. I drank heavily and used drugs and hated myself.

Finally, now, at age 27, I have the most amazing, beautiful girlfriend I could ever ask for. I finally feel like the missing piece has been found.

I also learned there was never anything wrong with me. I was just trying to fit into a place that wasn't meant for me. I don’t know what my future holds, but I finally found happiness. And I know I'm just fine exactly the way I am.

Darcy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Soleil Moon Frye (as "Punky Brewster")
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Alex

Alex, age 7
Glenrose, TX (1995)

This picture was taken at Dinosaur Valley State Park in Glenrose, Texas.
I found it a few years ago, and my first thought was, "I look like such a girl!"

When I was 3, my grandparents took my brother and I toy shopping. My brother picked out a battery operated robot.
I wanted a GoGo My Walkin' Pup - basically a girl's robotic poodle. Amazingly, they bought it for me!

I've known I was different since age 3, but I don't think I'd ever heard the word 'gay' until 14. And I wouldn't admit to myself that I was until 20.

And in Texas, we didn't talk about gay people, unless to call someone a f*g. Throughout middle school, that someone was usually me.

I came out to my family at 21, and they couldn't have been better about it.

Everything is so much easier now that I've gotten out of my own way and allowed myself to be the man I was born to become.

Today, I'm sort of a mixed bag kind of gay. I like being athletic and working out, but I also like quilting. My main passion is being as limitlessly creative as I possibly can, and I've written seven books to date. One is about my experiences growing up gay in rural Texas.

If I could say one thing to anyone questioning themselves, it would be this:
In a contest between your head and your heart, always follow your heart.

Your head is subject to the opinions of the most charismatic person you meet.
But your heart is always the purest, most undiluted voice of who YOU really are.

Alex's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Austin St. John (the Red Power Ranger)
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Eric

Eric, age 2
Lille, France (1995)

I've always been different. I loved playing with girls, but not with boys or playing boys' stuff. In fact, I hated boys because they were mean to me!

I was the weird boy of the school who didn't play football, and who spent his time drawing or reading. I even had Barbie dolls.

I first realized that I might be gay at 13. I felt things for boys before, but never thought I might be gay.

When I was sure I was gay, I wanted to die. I felt ashamed and disgusted. And I swore I would only date girls.

But at age 16, and pretty sure I wasn't gay? I fell madly in love with a guy!

I was feeling so good, I knew it couldn't be wrong. However, after being rejected by this guy who didn't love me back, I finally started to come out. I first told my friends and then my parents. They were very supportive, and I feel very lucky.

Today, I am out, gay, and proud - and I love it!
And PS: I still love wearing this hat, and I still think cowboys are so sexy!

Eric's first, famous-person same sex crush:
The two guys kissing in Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" video

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