Christopher

Christopher, age 18 months

Detroit, Michigan (1966)

I didn't come out to myself or anyone else until 7 years ago, just before my 40th birthday. But, I always knew I was different from even a very early age.

"You look fabulous!"

I posted this photo on a blog where I wrote about my coming out, and a friend called and asked me, "Who’s the little girl on your blog…?"

I was totally confused: 'I don’t know what you're talking about, there's no little girl on my blog.' My friend kept on about it until I went and looked, and realized he was talking about me in this pic.

I had to laugh as my friend pointed out to me, "You’ve clearly always been gay. Just look at that picture!" He mentioned that I was playing with a very pink poodle and a kitty cat. And dressed in a handsome/pretty yellow pastel outfit, with shorts that were so short and tight, you can clearly see my little package.

And it made me wonder: Did my mom and dad see this in me at this early age, yet I would take decades to acknowledge it myself?

My parents indulged and embraced my uniqueness. When I wanted a baby doll, I got one. And I loved and cared for him, and even dressed him in the same outfit I'm wearing in the photo. And I still have him. 

In junior high, I took home economics instead of shop. And though my dad wasn't happy about it, he reluctantly bought me the supplies I needed for my first sewing project. By 13, my mom turned the kitchen over to me and encouraged me to pursue my love of cooking as a career. I later became a pastry chef.

Although my journey was also filled with many dark and depressing days, when my being "different" made life difficult, I've come to love this photo of me.

It reminds me that I am as I was meant to be. I was born this way.

Christopher's first, famous-person same sex crush:

James MacArthur (on "Hawaii Five-O ")
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Mark

Mark, age 3

Springdale, AR (1984)

"Who wears short shorts???"

My sister loved to dress me up and pose me for the camera.
And I obviously didn't mind!

I don't think I ever really knew what "gay" was until I was older, but I always knew I was different.

I never liked the same things as the boys I grew up with, but I always liked the boys!

I have come to understand as an adult, that different can be fabulous! I have a wonderful, exciting life and couldn't be happier.

So don’t ever sell yourself short, and live life to its fullest!

I think this blog is a wonderful thing for LGBT kids (and adults) everywhere.

It's a mean world out there, but a blog like this is helping make it a better place - one little gay picture at a time :)

Mark's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Kirk Cameron & He-Man
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Scottie

Scottie, age 8

Matthews, NC (1995)

So, I'll begin by stating that I was born female, and I still identify as one; Scottie is my legally given name. This photo was taken by a friend of my mother's who had taken my brother, sister (whose arm you see), and me out for lunch. I'm the youngest of 4 in our family. I chose this photo, because of what it represents:
a child's interpretation of misunderstood emotions, feelings, and desires.

I remember being asked by my brother just before it was taken: "Why do you need to dress like a boy?" I became so flustered at being called out, not really understanding the situation, and why he'd ask me a question like that.

But I defiantly responded: "Because I am one!" Thus, the nervous childish smirk on my face, and trying to figure out why I was embarrassed.

Over the years, that important memory has stayed with me, mostly because I feel like it explains the beginning of my understanding of how and why
I felt so different.

I've realized that as a child, I believed it was acceptable for me to be attracted to women - and steal my older sister's fashion magazines to gawk at the models -
as long as I acted like a boy.

And I remained the tomboy well through middle school, struggling with my femininity throughout high school & college.

It's only over the past few years I've come to terms with being a femme lesbian. Which I must say, is much more comfortable than trying to hide behind the mask of a boy.

David

David, age 11

Hudson Valley, New York (1977)

This photo was snapped during my 5th grade commencement ceremony. That snazzy jacket was my favorite, because it was reversible. The duality fascinated me. Navigating my way through the subsequent school years as a closeted gay boy taught me a lot about my own duality.

Growing up in Upstate NY, I didn't have any gay role models. Those who were perceived to be gay were mocked or whispered about behind closed doors.

I immersed myself in every school activity imaginable and cultivated a large group of friends.

If I befriended someone, they'd be less likely to tease me or acknowledge what I already knew:
That I was gay.

Looking back, I think I was subconsciously trying to protect myself.

In my younger years, I oscillated between boyish and not-so-boyish stuff. I was obsessed with Tonka trucks and fire engines, watched "Popeye" religiously, and loved climbing trees.

However, I was equally obsessed with my grandmother's white high heels,
"I Dream of Jeannie," "That Girl" and "Bewitched" on TV. I would often perform the theme song to each show when it aired.

One afternoon, at the age of 4, I was mortified when my cousin burst the door open to my grandparents' bedroom, and discovered me watching "Bewitched" - while sitting sidesaddle on a broom, wearing my grandmother's heels. I carefully placed a long towel over my head to simulate Elizabeth Montgomery's hair.

He laughed, asking "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" I turned to him, sitting on my broom, and said, "I’m Bewitched." It was probably my first coming out moment.

After college, I packed my car and moved to Los Angeles. I officially came out at the age of 24. I made that decision on a Friday night, while dancing under the glittering disco ball at the Catch One nightclub.

To all of the gay kids who may be struggling today:

Someone once asked me: "If you could wave a magic wand and become straight, would you?" I instantly replied "No." Despite some difficulties, it's been a rich and rewarding and fun life so far. And it really does get better!

David's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Robbie Benson (in "Ode To Billy Joe")

It's so sad, but I also STILL remember his underwear scene in "Ice Castles" too

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Alex

Alex, age 3
Baltimore, MD (1990)

When I was a little girl, my mother loved to dress me up in Laura Ashley dresses, elaborate bows, and shiny saddle shoes. And I resisted, hard. I was content wearing my older brother's hand me down clothes, and play catch with him and my dad. My less-than-amused look says it all.

"The dress works fine, but let's save it for my girlfriend next time."

Indeed, I had tomboyish streaks growing up, but I've always been kind of an old-school fag at heart. Mom instilled in me a love for dance music, fine dress, and meticulous grooming - though she may not love how I present myself now.

My dad forced me to watch AMC, where I discovered a bevy of effete "bachelor" characters in glamorous old films, who were my idols. My favorite character on the legendary "The Kids In The Hall" was (and always will be) Scott Thompson's inimitable swish, Buddy Cole.

When I came out at 13, I embarked on a journey in search of identity comfort. As a Catholic school girl in a single-sex environment, I felt pressure to be feminine. When I got to college, I attempted stone butch. Then God help me - I had a sneaker phase. 10 years after my foray into faggotry, I'm happy and comfortable with ambiguity.

And I delight in answering to, "Are you a boy or a girl?"

Nothing is ever easy when people view you as different. It takes a while to get to a good place, and 99% of the time it's a terrible and arduous process. It can tear people apart, cause unimaginable pain, and seem like it's taking forever.

But nothing is more "worth it" than feeling comfortable in one's own skin.
Or wingtips. Or stilettos. You know what I mean.

And, as for floral dresses and shiny shoes? ISO W4W.

Alexandra's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Sofia Coppola (in "The Godfather, Part III")

Even at that age I knew the movie was terrible, but Sofia was BEAUTIFUL!
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Jimmy

Jimmy, age 11

Randle, Washington (1993)

Growing up in a small town the size of a highway was never easy. Boys definitely played boy roles, and girls played girl roles. And I was caught in the middle, and always felt closer with girls my whole life. I also felt I had to be a girl in order to be with a boy, and I didn't know what "gay" was. I had that feeling until age 11, and then my mindset changed, and I finally stopped asking God why.

I figured out that I liked who I was, and I could be with a boy and stay a boy. I never felt like I was a girl, so why change that?

I was always teased because I was much more feminine than anyone else in my school.

I always tried to act tougher, but it was never me, nor did it fool anybody. And when I tried to change who I was, it only made things worse.

But along with the teasing, threats ruled my life. I came home from school many times crying, running into my mother's arms. And, asking her what a "f*g" was.

I'm lucky that my mom and dad were always there for me. Maybe it's because they saw what I went through daily, or that I had a bit more skip to my step.

Now every step I take is with my head held high, instead of looking towards the ground and hoping nobody screams anymore names at me. 

All the good and the bad from my childhood made me the man who I am today, and I love that person. I left that small town and now live in San Francisco, where I can walk down any street holding my partner's hand without fear.

In the near future we hope to adopt and expand our family, and we've been chatting about it on our blog, DaddiesJourney. In the end, it was all worth it.

Jimmy's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Mario Lopez (on "Saved By The Bell")

I remember growing up and dreaming about Slater
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