Joshua

Joshua, age 12
San Luis Obispo, CA (1989)

I guess this was my "Brokeback Mountain" phase. My mom's side of the family were all cowboys, and this was taken right before I completely gave up on trying to fit in.

I always knew I was "different" than other little boys. I loved to put on makeup and play dress up.

And I wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer or Wonder Woman when I grew up.

I don't do well with labels, but I guess if I had to pigeonhole myself,
I would identify as gender queer.

Because when I read the definition of gender queer for the first time, it sounded just like me.


I've been married to a woman, I've procreated, and I've had sex with men and women. I'm capable of having crushes on either, but one thing I've never felt,
is confusion. I always knew just who I was. And that was just - me.

If you're young and queer, be proud.
You will always be cooler than everyone else.
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Joel

Joel, age 7

Houston, TX (1977)

This photo was shot in Galveston, Texas where I still often retreat for all the good memories of being at the beach. My cousins, my brother, sister, and I all grew up kind of like siblings. We all got attention in our own way.

I loved watching the "Super Friends" and Godzilla movies on Saturday mornings.
I was not too precocious, but I was different.

I was often the gentler boy, and I knew I was gay in junior high school. But I was a husky, so no one really messed with me or picked on me, except my own brother. While I could have done without his bullying, in some ways, it made me a fighter.

My story is not as horrifying as what could have been, but my Southern Baptist faith and fear of God kept me in the closet until I was 34. Thankfully, my mom and dad were supportive when I came out. And my pivotal moment was a collision of faith and identity, as the Bible says "The truth shall set you free."

So I held on to that promise. I thought it was worse lying about myself, than facing the truth about how I love.

So my message to the LGBTQ youth of today is: Stay true to yourself.
The only ones you are accountable to are yourself, and your God.

Joel's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Ricky Schroeder (in "Silver Spoons")
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David

David, age 8

Corpus Christi, TX (1988)

When I came out to my mom in high school, she told me she already knew.

Judging by the picture I've posted,
well - of course she knew!

Throughout my childhood, my mom nurtured my creativity. And she never tried to instill in me the "normal" behavior for boys.

From dancing around wearing her bangles, or singing along to Bette Midler's "Perfect Isn't Easy" from "Oliver & Company," my mom just let me be ME.


Sure, my mom worried about how the world would treat me, but she never felt that it gave her cause to change my behavior.

She knew that with a strong foundation of love and acceptance at home, I could take on the hate I might encounter elsewhere.

Stephen

Stephen, age 4

Ponoka, Alberta, Canada (1989)

I was awkward as a kid, like being accident prone. Also I was probably the tallest person in my school throughout most of my elementary, middle, and high school years. So I stuck out like a sore thumb. It bothered me, because when you are different when younger, children are cruel.

As early as age 5, I dressed up in my mom's clothes, playing with her makeup.

I didn't see anything wrong with it. My parents didn't see anything wrong with it when I was younger either.

I eventually figured I was too old for that kind of stuff so I stopped. It didn't mean I didn't have fun doing it though. It was always nice.

When I was 13, I started to realize I liked other boys.
I KNEW I was different earlier, but this was when hormones happened.

My parents were far more accepting of the things I did than I give them credit for. My dad was always saying things like "F*g this" or "Queer that" and I guess that's what happens when you are raised Catholic. He just didn’t like gays.

But when I told him I was gay, he seemed to change his whole perspective, which is a good thing. My mom always said, "It's your life. Do what you want with it."

After suffering through a couple years of depression after coming out, I look back on my picture and think "I'm almost back to being that kid again. Not caring. Just happy." And I really am. It's a long process though.

Words of advice to all my fellow LGBTQ people:
Go into your childhood photos. Find a picture of you looking happy, and tell yourself that you will be that happy again. That has worked wonders for me

Stephen's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Ryan Gosling (in "Breaker High" and "Young Hercules")

I actually cried during the 'Young Hercules' episode when Ryan appeared to die.
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Treva

Treva, age 4

Chicago, Illinois (1965)

I knew from a very young age that I was different from everyone in my family.
I made up reasons as to how I was different - i.e. adopted, switched at birth, stolen, and even that I was half alien! As a young child I detested dresses. The only way I would wear one was if it was blue, so I was always dressed in blue and my younger sister in pink.

One year in high school a butch girl was in my class. I was fascinated by her and sat next to her all year. She wore mens' clothes and had a pocket watch! I was too afraid to talk to her, but I defended her almost daily to all my friends. I still remember her with fondness!

I never knew that women could be together until after I was already married.
I broke up with my husband and came out when I was 33. And now my ex husband introduces me to other women as a marital aid! He still regrets that.

My oldest daughter outed me to my family one Christmas, by walking in the house and declaring "Merry Christmas, my mom is gay!" I didn't find this out until two years later.

Let me say that I am not your stereotypical lesbian. I am fem, have 3 daughters, and 3 grandchildren. I love being gay, and that was what was missing from my life as a straight. And I will never go back!

I've recently started doing drag and love that too. I love pushing the envelope and making people think. I believe that we can be anything we want, as long as we have fun and hurt no one.

As for the gay youth of today, I think they are on the right track. Being gay is way more open and accepted then it was when I was young.

So try to be true to yourself, and everything else will come.

Treva's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Tie: Trixie on "Speed Racer" and Maryann on "Gilligans Island"

Later I was all about Linda Hamilton in 'The Terminator.'
I like my butch girls! 

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John

John, age 12

Nanuet, NY (1976)

I was, by nature, a smiley, giggly, and cheerful kid. And uncoordinated, though I loved to swim, bodysurf, skateboard, and gymnastics. Only 20 years later did I realize I had "killer abs" under the baggy t-shirt 'n jeans I wore from grades 6 through 10. Before that, I refused to wear jeans. Slacks from Sears only, please!

I was a total nerd in the math league, academic league, and national honor society. And, I was on track to be the first of my immediate family to attend college. However, homophobia nearly derailed all of it.

Around this age I gave up being me, because whatever that was, it was perceived as HORRIBLE. So I learned to butch it up. With sports not an option, partying was the next best thing. And by the end of high school, this nerd-boy was close to not graduating. And I flamed out in my freshmen semester of college.

I soon accepted that having sex with guys wasn't a stop-gap measure until I got married. Which I planned to do, to a nice girl whom I would never pressure sexually. My mantra in grade 12 was "In college you can be yourself."

Except I couldn't. The names were different, but the jocks and knuckleheads from high school were now my neighbors in the dorm. And, I unraveled.

But I pulled it together and transferred to a school farther away from home, beginning to tip toe out of the closet. By the time I graduated, I was sort of out. Within 6 months, the family all knew. And while it took a lot of years, eventually everyone got there in terms of celebration. Screw tolerance or acceptance, thanks.

What I've got now that's really important, is I got ME back. With dignity, and with integrity. Everything's possible once you get 'em, and it's impossible to live without them once you've had 'em.

To my younger gay brothers and sisters, my only advice is:
Education, education, education! College or a trade/vocational school will lead to your financial independence. I killed myself in college working 3 jobs, because I believed my parents would disown me if they found out I was gay. But that work ethic has served me well throughout my life.

Today, I'm still a nerd working at a university, and I have a hot husband and a nice home. And I'm out everywhere to everyone.

John's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Tom Selleck

Or any photo of a man with a beard, moustache, or stubble...
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