Fernando

Fernando, age 4

Mexico City, Mexico (1979)

Ever since I can remember, I knew I was different from other kids. I liked things other boys didn't like, such as playing with my cousin's dolls, and wearing my mom's sunglasses, heels or makeup. The other boys liked the things I hated, like playing soccer or getting G.I. Joe dolls for Christmas.

I pretty much grew up that way, realized I was gay at age 13, and came out quite late, at age 23.

Looking back to my childhood, I feel very proud of the courage it took for me to stand up for what I believed in, and to dare to come out.

Especially considering the environment where I grew up: conservative and Catholic in upper-class Mexico city.

At the beginning, the process of coming out seemed hard and painful. Very close to impossible, actually. I felt as if I'd be the only homosexual my friends and family would ever have to deal with.

Pretty soon after I started the coming out process, I realized that wasn't the case. I had my friends' and family's support, but it took a little time.

And to my huge surprise, my three closest childhood friends turned out to be gay as well. No wonder we remained friends all those years!

Chris

Chris, age 2

E. Grand Forks, MN (1977)

I always felt like a fabulous fish out of water in my hometown in northern Minnesota. This picture perhaps does "scream gay" from my earliest days, one of three in a series of some of my favorite toddler pictures.
 
This was taken in the days of disco, when I enjoyed playing with dolls, banging the piano, and looking like a young, gay version of Hugh Hefner.
 
It was only the next year that I had my first kiddie crush on a boy. He was 8 and rode a dirt bike in my neighborhood.

Despite my eagerness to be with him, he and his friends brushed me off as any 8-year old would, to a 3-year old.

I had many boy crushes from TV: Jason Bateman on "Little House on the Prairie" and "Valerie," Mackenzie Astin on "Facts of Life," Todd Bridges on "Diff'rent Strokes," and Scott Baio on "Happy Days."

But I didn't know I was gay until much later, and didn't admit it to myself until I was 19. Nor to anyone else until I was 21.

If I'd known when this was taken (and many subsequent pictures that spoke the thousand words I could only hint at in my young imaginings), I would have told myself that everything would be OK. At least once I grew up and moved!

There was a lot of the world out there to see. And after I saw some of it, I got to appreciate where I came from, as well who I am and have always been.

Chris' first, famous-person same sex crush:
Jason Bateman
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Justin

Justin, age 7

Kendal, Cumbria, UK (1989)

I had two obsessions as a child - clothes and dancing. My mum took my sister to ballet lessons, which I insisted on attending. And to my father's utter disbelief, she actually dressed me in a leotard with ballet slippers. I even had leg warmers.

This concerned my father so much, he insisted I take rugby lessons to man me up. And I hated them.

Not because I didn't like rugby or that I was terrible playing it. I just felt really out of place.

The other boys on the team took an instant dislike to me. Eventually, my dad and I compromised, which meant taking tennis and cricket lessons.

So, I was allowed to keep dancing and drop the traumatic rugby lessons.

I never realized I was gay until I was 14, and was not comfortable with it until much later.


And I can remember the moment I knew: a friend brought a porn magazine to school. We were all fascinated, as none of us had seen a naked woman before.

I remember saying "I don't get it," and someone said "Well, you must be gay." This placed the seed of doubt in my mind. Weeks later I knew for sure, when a friend found his mum's very graphic videotape called "A Guide to Sex." The woman in it didn't interest me, only the man. And, my two best friends.

I don't know why it took so long for me realize who I was, or why I found being gay so difficult to accept. In my mind, being gay was a weakness. And at the time, I already felt flawed.

I decided to repress everything I felt was gay about myself. I regret doing that,
as it made me so unhappy. It was not until I started art school that I started to accept who I was. The moment I did, my life changed for the better.

Today, I'm a menswear designer. And I still love to dance.

Martin

Martin, age 7

Paris, France (1998)

This pic was taken at La-Ferrière-Sous-Jougne, a summer camp in the Jura.
This summer camp was really cool, and everybody was so open-minded.

It was definitely not a problem for me to wear makeup or to do drag or whatever.

All the adults were very sweet with "different" guys like me.

Being there was a real freedom for me. They were my family, and I could be exactly who I was, for real.

I was in love with David Bowie, and remember that I was remaking "West Side Story" in my head everyday.

When I look at this picture now, I feel so thankful to all the people there. They helped me to be the man I am today: Proud, strong, fierce, and happy.

And now, I'm giving back and trying to help LGBTQ youth by being a Sister of Perpetual Indulgence, in Paris.

Claire

Claire, age 13

Melbourne, Victoria, Australia (1995)

This was taken in the Melbourne suburb I grew up in. I am the awkward-looking kid in braces on the left. I'm standing with my mum and dad, and my sisters, Eve and Chelsea. I remember that I'd had my orthodontic braces removed not long before this photo was taken, so I was feeling like a million bucks - even with the half-grown-out perm. FYI: perms were cool for exactly two weeks in 1995.

I was a geek at 13. I was an intense, avid bibliophile who was fond of old movies and musicals. When other kids were trying alcohol and cigarettes, I was reading "Wuthering Heights" or imagining I was Sally Bowles in "Cabaret."

I remember being aware of my sexuality at 13, and I had a crush on my English teacher and another student. But being a very widely read kid, I was able to intellectualize it as 'a natural time that many girls go through in their teens' - thank you, Dolly Magazine.

I was obsessed with "Beverly Hills 90210," focused on forming my grunge rock look, and loved watching Video Hits on Saturday mornings. I told everyone that Jason Priestly was my favorite 90210 star, but Shannen Doherty was the one I adored. I even had a poster on my wall of her in leathers on a red motorbike.

I never could understand why it seemed to unnerve my father, but now I know we just have the same taste in women.

I was able to intellectualize my sexuality right up until I came out at 20.
My parents struggled at first, especially my mum, but after a couple of years they came round and are now extremely supportive. As my cousin says:
"Your mum not only changed her stripes, she also bought the tiger."

If I were to give any advice to any same-sex attracted youth, it would be to come out when you feel are ready. And do so in a supportive environment.

That, and never ever get a perm, no matter how "in" it may seem at the time...

Claire's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Shannen Doherty

Jakob

Jakob, age 6

Montréal, Québec, Canada (1996)

Me and my two brothers and my sister were more or less raised gender-blind.
My sister used to play with cars and boys' toys and my brothers and I had dolls to play with, too. Nevertheless I'm the only gay one.

And yes, I was born this way.

Around 5th grade, I wasn't able to take my eyes off of other boys in the locker changing room. However, I didn't realize that I was gay.

Like everyone else, I thought one day I was going to marry a wife and start a family.

When I was a child, my parents rarely made me feel that they were by my side or able to console me or help me.

Or even to just listen to me.

So I learned to solve my problems on my own.

I did not comprehend that I was gay until I was around age 15, and I first came out to my best friend.

When I came out to my parents at 17, I felt nervous and dizzy.
But they accepted who I am, and nowadays we get along well with each other.

Jakob's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Pierre Boulanger (in "Mister Ibrahim & The Flowers of the Quran")

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