Charles

Charles, age 4
Longport, New Jersey (1967)

I'm from the South New Jersey shore. Philadelphia was our big city. Home was a beach town, so it was empty in the winter. Empty except for the “locals,” and being gay was a concept that didn't fit in with the “local” mentality. My parents were decent people, but they were locals, too. 

Being gay was a tough and lonely journey for me. I thought the boys were cool, but it was because I was attracted to them. I know that now, but I didn't back then. I attended Catholic schools, and had no issues about that.

My photo was taken by my grandfather, with me atop my father's desk chair. 

I loved superheroes as a kid, as they were people with great gifts who just seemed so "normal" on the outside.

Their “secret” was their hidden powers.

Suddenly, they became super-special, the people they really were. They stopped hiding. That transformation is the core idea that got me through it all.

As a kid I also loved Lee "The Bionic Man" Majors. He was the perfect real-world superhero: handsome, bighearted, strong, and sweet. And for vision and resolve, to overcome and triumph, I admired Abraham Lincoln. His story is amazing.

My parents were crushed when I came out. It hurts a loving child so much to disappoint his parents. But in time, that healed.

Today I live in Puerto Rico and I'm a successful lawyer. And being gay never kept me from anything. But I kept myself from things. Until I remembered that we are here to be a point of light in the world. Then, suddenly, everything began to change. I also fully realized that I was born this way. 

I already had everything I needed to be who I am meant to be. 
And when you realize that too, it's like your own personal 4th of July! 

So go and do your thing!
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Shaun

Shaun, age 6

Johannesburg, South Africa (1993)

As far back as I can remember, I always knew that I was gay and that I liked boys. Interestingly enough, within myself I never had an issue with it. But I was always worried by what other people would think or say. This is something so ingrained that I still worry about it to this day.

The problem with society is that being gay is regarded as not "normal." I read an example once that’s stuck with me throughout the years because it is so true: 

If an adult sees a boy and a girl playing together, they'll often ask playfully 'Is she your girlfriend?' or visa versa. However, if it's two boys or two girls playing, nobody will ever ask them that same question. 

These subtle hints in every aspect of our culture cause being gay (and the coming out process) to be very difficult for many of us.

I first came out to my friends as a senior in high school. 

They took it without even batting an eye, and my best friend’s biggest issue was that I hadn’t told her earlier.  I'm fortunate that many of those people remain close friends to this day, and it is directly a result of their acceptance that I am the person I am today.

I ended up having to come out to my family, because I had gotten myself into a situation where I needed their help. And without them knowing the boy involved was in fact my boyfriend, they wouldn't be able to understand the full situation. 

My mom took my coming out the best. She took some time to process it, but today she is my number one cheerleader. But my dad is the unsung hero in my life story. He immediately realized my situation and fixed it quicker than I would have ever imagined possible. 

I will forever be grateful to him for standing by me during that time.

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
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Tommy

Tommy, age 2

San Jose, California (1975)

My mother tells me the staff at the Sears portrait studio were so impressed with this photo of me, that they wanted to hang it on their wall in the lobby. 

"What does the T stand for? Is it Tammy?" they said. "No," my mother corrected. "More like Tommy." This was my first reported instance of an occasion that would become a regular theme in my life.

I was 2-years old and people were already doing double-takes while apologizing under their breath for misidentifying my gender. "He’s pretty - for a boy” was the first of the backhanded compliments I was poised to receive as I got older.

As  a kid, it used to bother me that I was often mistaken for a girl, and my easily mortified teenage self suffered accordingly. Because people didn’t quite know how to categorize me by sight, I learned to transcend polarization. 

I understood early that gender was a social construction that was completely malleable. I felt the need to refrain from conforming to the gender biases of popular culture and to create my own. 

If I liked a shirt in the girl’s department and it fit me, I wasn’t stymied by the fact that it buttoned up the opposite side. I learned how to bridge the gap between my yin and yang. 

I trace the early understanding of gender politics I had to this photo.
T was for Tommy but it was also for trans - as in transcending transgender. 

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AJ

AJ, ages 5-7
Battle Creek, Michigan (1996-1998)

Growing up, Halloween was always my favorite holiday. This hasn't changed much since I was young, but now I look back on my love for the holiday in a much different light. I think it was the attraction of stepping into the skin of someone who wasn't me that spawned my interest. This lead to me dressing as multiple women during my childhood.

Having been reared on nearly every Disney movie, I was immediately drawn to the female villains. These women were not merely evil (something that I was not), but they were supremely confident in who they were (something I also was not). But above all else, they were interesting.

You can leave your princesses behind, and give me an evil queen any day!

I lived for the time of year when I felt confident enough to dress up as one of these powerful women. In hindsight, I give tremendous appreciation to my parents for allowing me to dress in this way year after year.

We live in a time when something like this can go viral on the internet if given enough traction. I can only imagine it was much more taboo in the mid 1990's.

However, my parents never batted an eye at it, and I think the pictures show that my mother had a fun time herself putting the ensembles together.

It wouldn't be until over a decade later that I managed to find the courage within myself to come out of the closet. Yet I can't help but wonder how surprised my parents must have been, if they were surprised at all.

Although it took time, I feel as if I've finally managed to grasp the confidence and power that made these women so interesting to me.

And for now, we can leave all the curses and spells behind...
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
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Joshua

Joshua, age 14

Paradise, California (1993)

As a child, I was generally very quiet and introverted. I always found solace and tranquility in writing rather than involving myself in social activities. But I was active in theater in my early teens and on my high school’s cross country team in my freshman year.

I first came out to my mother at the age of 15. It was pretty rewarding, and my family has always accepted me as a person regardless of differences that may exist between us. As a teenager, I was active in the local LGBT community center, and I have been fortunate that I never have been harassed or singled out for being gay.

During college though, I went back in the closet and I eventually became very religious. As a result of social pressures, I eventually married a woman.

After the birth of our first child, our marriage slowly fell apart. Around the time of our second child, I met a man whom I had brief contact with.

I soon realized I needed to confront my true identity instead of hiding behind a veil of falsehood. 

I revealed to my wife the secret that I had been hiding from her for years. She told me she always had known and was willing to accept the fact that I was gay. We came to the understanding that we would have to separate. 

I began to turn to close friends and even rabbis for moral support as I began this new phase in my life. Thankfully, I have found nothing but love and support from everybody with whom I have shared this intimate detail of my life.

As a religious Jew, I hid the secret of my sexual orientation from everybody.
But today I know that Judaism embraces the gay identity, even with certain prohibitions in regard to particular acts.

The essence of being a gay Jew, however, is acceptable in the eyes of God.

I did not know this for a long time, and had I known it, my adult life would have been much easier. 

But I am happy now and look forward to a beautiful future in which I can celebrate the internal synthesis of all the different aspects of my life.

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
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Greg

Greg, age 8
Santa Ana, California (1997)

I was lucky enough to have been born to a mother who had the innate ability to tell I was gay when I was very young. To be honest, since I was so focused with my studies all the way to about 11th grade in high school, I hadn't really paid much attention to my sexuality.

It wasn't until I turned 16 that I finally came out to myself, and at 17 I came out to my mom.

I wrote a letter wanting to explain everything, since I knew doing it on the fly would result in just a total breakdown.

However, I forgot to put the letter away after I wrote it - it was 4am when I finished! - and my mom found it that morning.

And I'll never forget what she said to me:

"The only man I was ever angry about being gay was Elton John, because that was when I knew I wouldn't be able to marry him!"

I know I'm lucky to have grown up in such an accepting household. It saddens me that LGBT youth are harassed and bullied, simply for being who they are.

All I can say is, be proud, stay strong, and never forget that it is you who are in control of your life. As hard as the road may seem, it is your own strength and resolve alone that will carry you through your toughest trials in life.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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