Richard

Richard, age 7

Buena Vista, GA (1996)

This photo was during Christmastime at my step-grandmother's house. I'd asked for clothes, a pirate ship, and a few other toys. I had a vivid imagination, I loved to learn (at times), and to draw (I won first prize many times in art contests), and to escape from reality with my childhood toys.

Growing up in Georgia, my lack of masculine interests were more subtle. I hated hunting, and I would not touch fish or worms when fishing.

I didn't realize I was categorized as gay/feminine until my family and friends began to point it out.

In our culture, gay and feminine are tied together a lot. And around age 11, I began to realize that some of my traits were not desired, or to be seen or heard.

My grandfather, Peapaw, wanted me to play sports, which I didn't care for at all.

My step-mother once told me I looked like a sissy when I had a travel bag over my shoulder or my hands on my hips (like in the photo). I also enjoyed playing mommy or house with my sister and her friends. But the ridicule made me afraid to do things like this. I also didn't have the most masculine behavior or voice.

The older I got, the more afraid I got of being myself. I tried the track team,
I tried hanging with guys, and I attempted to spend more time with my father on his construction jobs. The guys I tried to befriend made me nervous, and I realized I was kind of attracted to some of them.

Coming out was stressful and depressing. There were times where I really wanted to go into the woods and kill myself. I knew I was gay at 11, and my father found out through church members and small town gossip. The pastor at my church asked me to leave and to not come back unless I wanted to change. I did not, and haven't been back to a church since.

During Junior prom, I confirmed it with everyone by dancing with my first boyfriend. High school and family life was rough, but I had a group of supportive school friends who were always there for me. I did get bullied though, as I was the only openly gay guy at school. I'm thankful that my gay uncle and his partner helped me during this time, because he suffered similar things with my family and had left. I am so thankful for that, as it encouraged me a lot!

Today at 21 and being out for 5 years, I've realized that I am who I am! My whole family knows, but most are not okay with me being gay. This is the reason I moved from my hometown to a more accepting city. I have a deep country accent, and no longer a girly voice. I'm a very emotional person and a very caring person, and I want children and a husband one day.

But does the fact of my sexuality matter!? No, I am ME!
Categorize me as gay, masculine, or not - and I WAS born this way!

Richard's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Aaron Carter, Lance Bass, Zac Efron

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Juston

Juston, age 5

Pontiac, MI (1983)

This was one of my favorite chairs in our house because of the hideous brown floral design. I was the first grandchild born into a large family of 7. My mother, aunts and uncles were all in their late teens and early 20's when I was born. We lived with my grandmother at this time, and she doted on me in the best of ways. Bowl haircuts were the rage, and I wanted one of my own. Because of my longer blond hair, I was often mistaken for a girl. 

My Aunt Biggie always says that when I was 3, she knew I was gay. Her proof of my gayness was that I was the smartest kid she knew, I was always polite and sensitive, and loved to sing. My first song was "Puff The Magic Dragon." She says I loved to sit and listen to Elton John records in the basement.

My aunt Michelle and I had marathon movie sessions with tubs of popcorn and movies like "The Wizard of Oz" and "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory."

I remember at this age being obsessed with Carebears, Rainbow Brite and Barbies. My obsession even got me into trouble when I ordered a Rainbow Brite jazzercise record off TV. It arrived COD (cash on delivery) and my mother almost killed me that day. I spent the rest of the day dancing in my room to my new record on my FisherPrice record player.

I also loved playing with all my girl friends and enjoyed making their Barbies have intricate sexual relationships. But I enjoyed riding bikes and playing baseball, too, so I wasn't always girly. I remember this time of my life as very carefree, and never worried about what I did or how anyone felt about it.

My first real crush at age 10 was during the 1988 Olympics. I spent the summer watching Greg Louganis diving on TV. My mom kept trying to get me to go outside, and kept asking why I suddenly wanted to watch sports. If she would have just sat down and seen Greg in those Speedos, she would have understood.

Until I was 15, I often questioned my sexuality, and began to realize I really enjoyed men much more. My "Aha!" moment came in 10th grade while watching Beauty & The Beach during MTV's Spring Break in Florida. As the men and women pranced down a runway, I looked at the girls and then the boys - and I thought in my head: 'That's it - I'm gay'.

From that day forward I never struggled with the idea again. I knew who I was and was ready for the world to deal with it. I came out in High School during Junior year and was pretty much accepted by everyone. I thankfully had some really fabulous friends who not only accepted me but helped me celebrate myself.

I look back at this picture and think" 'God, I was so gay. Look at that hand'...
But I also think how happy and oblivious I was. I never thought I was different.

Now I'm 32, a nurse, and I live with my boyfriend of 2.5 years. I still have many of those fabulous friends, and I live a very happy life. It wasn't always easy when I was younger and coming out, but it was all worth it.

Thank the goddess for making me gay!

Juston's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Greg Louganis (Olympic diver)
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Ryan & Kevin

Ryan & Kevin, age 5

Mansfield, Texas (1996)

I'm Ryan (on the left), and this was just a normal day, playing with my - also gay - twin brother Kevin. We'd get in our baby blankets and pretend we were Cinderella and Snow White and have a blast putting on little shows for everyone. I remember singing along to cast recordings of "Annie" and "Wizard of Oz" all the time. We both loved to sing, act and dance, and still do.

I never thought I was that different than other little kids my age. But I didn’t exactly like to do boy stuff like go camping or be outside. I mainly liked doing the girl stuff. I remember we had a neighbor we played with, and she had a lot of Barbies. Kevin and I would play with them whenever we liked.

When we were 6, my mom asked us what we wanted for Christmas, and we proudly replied, 'We want Fairy Barbies.'  That must have been a big surprise for our parents, but that very Christmas we got our very own Barbies! It was one of my favorite Christmases of all time. 

Kevin and I weren't that popular during elementary school. It was very unhappy times for us, and I remember being made fun of for being gay when I was like 9. I didn't even know what the word meant! I thought it meant happy, so in a way it was a compliment. But I knew the way kids said it, that it was no compliment. I didn't know why people were picking on me, just that I felt a little unwanted. 

I remember in junior high phys. ed class that the guys talked about which girls were hot. I knew when a girl was more attractive, but I also knew which guy was more attractive. I felt like the only boy looking at the other boys in that class. I thought that every guy would notice when a hot guy would walk by.

It wasn't until my freshman year of high school that I came out, first to my three best girl friends. They took it well, so I came out to the rest of the school. Everyone took it well, and most kids already knew. This got me picked on a little, but by then I knew how to fight for myself. There was one guy who picked on me in the halls, but his bullying was more psychological than physical.

Coming out to my parents wasn't a great situation. A kid from school told his parents that I came out, and he had a problem with it. They then called my parents - who I had not told yet. At that point, Kevin and I both came out to our mom, and she was great. I think she already knew (we'd asked for Barbies for heaven’s sake!), but my dad took longer getting used to it.

But now, he accepts both of us. And I thank my friends who helped my through that time. They were wonderful! 
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Dawn

Dawn, age 3

Marshalltown, IA (1976)

It's weird how you can remember some things and not others as a small child.
I remember being dressed up like this by my teen-aged aunts, and I remember the dress was itchy. I didn't want it on, except for the beads. This is only one of 3 photos of me in a dress throughout my years, because it always felt like dress up.

I never knew what the word was for it, but around the age of 9,
I fell for a 19-year old college student at my church. And she was kind enough to hang out with me. She'd take me to grown-up places like auctions and furniture shopping, it was just about being included.

I didn't have other kids in the neighborhood where I lived near my age, so college students become my best friends, and she was my first crush.

It wasn't until age 16, and with a friend of mine, that I realized why I was having the crushes on girls.


We were walking around the mall and my friend pointed out a couple. She mentioned that the guy looked cute, but I was thinking to myself the whole time: 'Forget the guy, I’ll take the girl!' Then the skies parted and everything I felt since the time I was age 9, came flooding back. And like puzzle pieces, it all fit together.

It was then that I realized I had to hide this information from my family, as they were and still are, fundamental Christians. Sadly, this hiding set me back a few years concerning my own self worth. But thankfully, though my family didn’t accept my orientation, I eventually realized that God still did.

If there is one message I could have told myself when I was 18, before an attempted suicide, it would be that there are people out there that will love you for who you are. And God will ALWAYS love you, because God created you.

Eventually, you'll also find there are some family members that will love ALL of you, unconditionally!

Today, I still hold a torch for women older than me, and I've been in a 14-year relationship with a wonderful partner who is 25 years my senior. We learn quite a lot from each other, and I look forward to the next 14 years and beyond!

Dawn's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Joanna Kearns ("Growing Pains")

Lisa Bonet ("The Cosby Show")

Dana Delaney ("China Beach")

Dana looked like the woman I had the crush on at age 9!

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* 1 Million Views - A Tribute To Dennis *

 Hi everyone,
I really don't know where to begin, or what to say, or how to properly say it.
But I'll give it a shot :)

Today (2/6/11) the "Born This Way" Blog hit ONE MILLION visitors!

I can't really wrap my head around that, but I'm trying! And this is some kinda cool kizmet: This blog launched exactly 4 weeks ago today on 1/9/11, and hit the million-mark almost to the hour of the first posting! Kind of crazy, right?

So first, let's all applaud Kevin - our happy baton-twirling gay boy - for being the first! And this was back when I was literally begging my friends (like Kevin) with 'Hey, check out this new blog I have, and please submit something' ...

But now, let's all STAND UP - yes you, get off your chair and turn off the Superbowl for a minute - and scream, cheer, applaud and give some love, to... DENNIS!

If I had not seen his infamous pic a few years ago, my concept and idea for this project would never have come to pass!

Dennis is the reason this whole project exists!
(Well, and for posing so fabulously in his picture back in 1974!)

Thus, I was waiting for just the right time to post up his actual submission.
And I think hitting the one million mark is about as perfect a time as any.
So go check out Dennis' story out below.

And for ALL of us - myself, the people featured here, you viewers, the people leaving the wonderful comments, the countless other blogs and press pages linking to this site, and all the people emailing me with some of the most heartfelt and amazing feedback and words of encouragement:

Let's all share a toast!!!

Let's raise our glasses to each other, to full equality for gay people, to ending homophobia, to only loving our children for exactly who they are, and for those very children themselves, who need US to be their rock and their role models,
and maybe most important of all -- let's all toast to LOVE!

With heartfelt thanks!
xo Paul V., Blogmaster
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Dennis, age 3
St. Louis, Missouri (1974)

I vaguely remember this picture being taken, but I think the Olan Mills "photographer" was delaying, and I was trying to stand still while doing the
pee-pee dance. Or? I was naturally inclined to be an "Actor, Dancer, Model!"

Either way, it was amazing to me that after having this picture and a few others hanging in "my spot" in the hallway while growing up, that my parents were shocked that I was gay. How could they not figure it out? Denial, anyone?

I actually didn't know anyone else who was gay when I was growing up, and I wasn't really sure I understood what it meant. So it took me till 19-years old to figure it out. And then, the childhood pictures all made sense. Such as this 2nd pic, of me at 8 months old.

My sister had dressed me up in her Brownie Scout uniform (beret and all), and from the looks of it, I thought it was funnier than she did. I can't tell if I was doing that same knee-point under the skirt, but I'm willing to bet I was. 

Today, I live in Long Beach, CA and I've been cutting and styling hair for years.

Hey, imagine that - a gay hairstylist! Weird, huh? :)

Dennis' first, famous-person same sex crush:
Mario Lopez (on "Saved By The Bell")
And he just keeps getting better!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet

René

René, age 5

San Salvador, El Salvador (1987)

I found this picture of me at a Kindergarten recital. I remember being picked to be first in line and how excited that made me. My love for dancing started at a very early age, and I remember how much I enjoyed learning the choreography and how good I was at it. And I also had a baton!

The hairstyle wasn't my choice, it was my Mom's. I remember spending way too much time in front of the mirror that day - a habit that has only gotten worst as an adult, I must admit.

Although my childhood memories are somewhat scarce, like many I remember feeling different from the get go. I grew up in a very conservative Catholic society, and although my parents were not fanatics,
I learned at a very young age that the safest place for me was inside my head.

My Dad later had suspicions of my "true nature" early on as well. He used to take me to soccer games, until I sided with his team's archenemy - because I liked their uniforms better. But on the whole, sports never tickled my fancy.

As I grew older, my mannerisms and slightly higher-pitched voice made me an easy target for the bullies at school we dealt with. I remember how tirelessly and unsuccessfully I tried to fit in. My first boy crush happened during the time I was a Boy Scout, and I couldn't stop admiring my Scout Master.

That feeling of "difference" from others started out positive. I remember feeling a higher sense of understanding, and an idea that I was destined to do something great. Somehow along the way and influenced by others, I allowed myself to think that it wasn’t good, that I wasn’t good, and that I should comply.

Well compliance no more! When I got out from the haze, I finally realized how much being gay added to my life. And the experiences, pleasures, and intensity
I wouldn't know, if I hadn't been born this way.

And although I had some really rough times - I got through. And that confused and often scared little boy now stands a tall and proud GAY MAN!

Well, more proud than tall - I'm only 5' 5"...

René's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Javier Bardem (in "Jamon Jamon")

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Barbara

Barbara, age 4
W. Nebraska (1955)

Hello and thanks for this great project!

My name is Barbara, and this photo was taken in western Nebraska.

At this point in my life, I was still waiting for Peter Pan to show up and repair the mistaken gender assignment I got at birth. And, turn me back into the boy I truly was.

A few years later my Aunt Lillian, dressed in a spangled cowboy shirt and a very cool hat, swooped me up onto her horse, and I relented on my wish to be a boy.

Girls were cowboys too, but smelled better.

Barabara's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Peggy Fleming (Olympic figure skater)

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Carter

Carter, age 15

Greensboro, N. Carolina (1975)

Talk about ELABORATE clues!

I wonder what my parents were thinking - or refusing to think - as my Barbra Streisand obsession took over my mid-teens, along with a whole bedroom wall. And to think they were actually shocked 3 years later when I came out.

"Streisand 'n me"

I came out in a very bad way, throwing it out to my mother after she'd grounded me for the night, preventing me from going disco dancing. I started screaming 'I'M GAY! I'M A FAG! A HOMO' and ran around the house telling my Dad and my kid sister, who was reduced to tears.

After I emotionally collapsed and went downstairs, my Mom told me to go upstairs and tell my sister I only said that to hurt her. Which I did. Soon after, all my friends were banned from coming over to the house - even the straight ones my mom couldn't be sure of. And we never talked about any of it again.

Well, except for that time a couple years later. A boyfriend I'd run away from home with, showed up at the house looking for me.

And that's a whooooole other story.

Carter's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Race Bannon ("Jonny Quest")
That show featured almost all men and was very homoerotic. I imagined Race & Dr. Quest as boyfriends, and I had all kinds of fantasies going on about them.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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