Alan

Alan, age 12

Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada (1978)

My first memory of being "different" or gay happened when I was probably no more than 7 or 8 years old. I was taking swimming lessons at the local YMCA, and I remember a man walked into the pool area and sat down, waiting for our class to be over. He was very cute and had a very hairy chest.

All I can remember was being mesmerized by him. I wanted to swim over there and rub my hand over his chest, as I had never seen anything like that before. To this day, over 35 years later, I can still picture him in my mind.

I grew up in a very strict Roman Catholic family. It wasn't until I went away for university that I was able to be true to myself. Many, many times I wanted to go to the student gay club, but I just couldn't muster up the courage to do it.

Finally, I met a lesbian, and we became very good friends. A few months later I told her I was gay too, and she was so happy.

It felt great to be able to true to myself. It wasn't always easy, but I am happiest knowing that I am true to myself, and I'm at peace. 

I now live in Toronto, and was formerly the Treasurer of the Toronto Pride parade. I have met so many great people there; friends who I still have today, and friends I wouldn't have if I wasn't true to myself and made it through.

It took me a long to say "I am gay" out loud. There were a lot of tears, a lot of stress, and a lot of sleepless nights. But I wouldn't change my life.

Everyone's time to decide to be true to themselves, is their own to make. It may be in your teens, 20's, or even later. But only you know when it's the right time.

Never be ashamed of who you are, never apologize for who you are, and be PROUD of who you are.

Alan's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Lee Majors ("The Six Million Dollar Man")

He was very rugged, very confident, and very sexy.

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Michelle

Michelle, age 5

Limerick, Ireland (1998)

Growing up in Ireland, I was always a little tomboy. I didn't mind getting dirty,  and I spent around 6 years in a pair of denim dungarees. This was shot at my grandmother's farm, and notice the rainbows on my t-shirt - very fitting!

I realized when I was very young that I felt different from other girls. My first crush was Ginger Spice from the Spice Girls. I think it was our common red-headedness that sealed the deal for me. I wanted to marry her.

I didn't realize till later that most girls my age wanted to marry the Backstreet Boys instead.


I never chose to be anything: I was just a carefree, little, gay Irish girl from day one. That's who I see when I look at this picture now.

I came out to my parents when I was 13, and they were fantastic about it. They loved me even more for the courage it took to do so. They even walked with me last year in the Gay Pride parade.

I may only be 18 now, but I feel like I have wisdom and experience beyond my years from coming out so early.

To anyone out there who feels like they need to hide I say this: Hiding who you are may be easier, but trust me, the freedom that comes with being honest, open and proud is truly a million times better. I wouldn't change myself for the world.

Love the gay child you once were, and love the gay adult you are now.

Michelle's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Geri Halliwell (Ginger Spice, The Spice Girls)
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Paul

Paul, age 2

Fort Worth, TX (1969)

Here I am at age 2. I don't have a significant number of memories from this time, but don't I look great? The pink balloon and the Hollywood shades say it all. While I grew up in a city, my family had ties to ranching and farming, and I did not enjoy the "man's work" that was involved on the ranch that much.

While I didn't mind shooting a gun and fishing, I did not enjoy digging post holes. My "moment of knowing" I was different was probably watching game shows with my mom. Paul Lynde ("Hollywood Squares") and Charles Nelson-Reilly ("Match Game") always made my mom and I laugh. It was sort of a secret we shared, because my dad and brother never really got that humor.

My first same-sex crush was probably Shaun Cassidy on "The Hardy Boys" TV show. And now that I think about it, I think I liked Parker Stevenson more. But Shaun had that album with "Da Doo Ron Ron," and I played it over and over, singing into a hairbrush the whole time.

As for a message to young kids now, whether gay or not, my advice would be:

Live your own life.

It's tough sometimes for everyone. Gay kids aren't the only ones with rough times. We're at a time in history of telling straight kids to understand how tough life is for gay kids - but like so much else in life, it's a two-way street.

Those straight kids may be going through some pretty rough times, too. While I'm not religious now, I like the the part of the prayer of St. Francis which says, "Seek first to understand, then to be understood". Another great quote is from a bumper sticker: "Prejudice rarely survives experience."

Gay kids: reach out to your straight classmates and help them through a tough time. I promise, they will be there for you when it's your turn.

PS: I'm really thankful for whoever took this picture, and that it survived!

Paul's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Parker Stevenson & Shaun Cassidy ("The Hardy Boys")
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Brooke

Brooke, age 3

Richfield, Minnesota (1992)

This is one of the rare girly pictures I have of myself. It was Halloween.

I was always a friendly kid. In daycare, there were a lot of girls, so I'd volunteer to take the role of Ken, or play "house" as the dad.

I loved rough-housing and playing in the dirt with the boys.

I have two older sisters, so I had to hold my own, therefore I was more muscular than most girls my age. I played with Legos and idolized the princesses in Disney movies. I hated when my sisters tried dressing me up, which they did often

But I got teased a lot for being a "tomboy" by EVERYONE, including my family.

I always knew I was different, but had no idea why. I just felt more like a boy.
I always have. But I didn't really realize how different I felt, or what it really was, until I was a freshman in high school.

I slowly just realized over time that I really liked the way girls looked, and then it transitioned into me wanting to kiss them, and more. My high school German teacher was my first legitimate same-sex "real person" crush.

I had posters of women up in my room, but I always put pictures of men up too, so it didn't seem too weird to my parents. It didn't seem weird to me!

I really love Amanda Palmer from the Dresden Dolls, too.
She was so influential in my adolescence.

I'm 21 now, and I'm still not out to my family. It's a work in progress. I know they'll be accepting, but it’s just that general coming-out fear that's difficult getting over. I'm planning on coming out before my 22nd birthday.

I have wonderful and supportive friends that understand me, and I'm very grateful for having them in my life. They've guided me in the right direction and taught me so many things.

I'm happy being me. I wouldn't change it for the world!  

Brooke's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Rachel Weisz

I loved watching her in "The Mummy." She was so dreamy!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Michael

Michael, age 5

Ontario, Canada (1982)

Here I am on the front lawn of my childhood home. Behind me is the Blue Spruce tree my parents had planted years earlier. I have fond memories of playing in our yard, and smelling the sweet summer air. It would only be a few years later when I'd come to understand that I was different from the other boys.

My first crush was on a camp counselor one year at summer camp. I also had a crush on Morten Harket from the band A-ha. The video for "Take On Me" would have me transfixed to the TV screen.

After a fairly happy childhood, I soon experienced cruel high school taunts and violence, because I identified as gay.

Thankfully, I got through it all, and now live an open and successful life.



To those who are struggling today, I would ask that you remember that you are entitled to live your life in an honest and fulfilling way. No one has the right to take that from you. It's your world, too.

Michael's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Morten Harket (singer in A-Ha)

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Ross

Ross, age 7

Greencastle, Pennsylvania (1976)

Since I was 5 or 6, I thought about kissing boys. Sure, that sounds a little early, but I was brought up in a strict Mormon family, and we had to prepare early for our "Forever Families." My preparation wasn't exactly what they had in mind.

This picture was taken for Halloween. My sister had been going to beauty school, and it was her idea to make me into a girl for the evening.

Practicing makeup on someone is one thing, but she went so far as to make the blouse and skirt to boot.

At the school's Halloween party, everyone just stared at me wondering: "Why didn't that stupid girl get a costume?"

Good times...

I wasn't a girly boy, but I wasn't a boy's boy either. So fitting in with other kids wasn't really an option.

We moved a lot (around the world), and I made friends here and there.

But nobody in my family or church prepared me to deal with the homophobia that hit left and right.

I really envy the kids of today. I met a guy the other day that came out when he was 16, and his family didn't bat an eye.

But to the kids that still have the narrow-minded families and churches to deal with, I tell 'em this:

Be true to yourself. You're the only one that's ever going to make yourself happy. Don't rely on loved ones or God to be true to yourself. Rely on yourself and respect life, and you'll grow into someone pretty awesome.

Currently, I'm a return ex-Mormon missionary with a partner of 19 years.
And life is good. It's like Grandma Moses said, "Life is what you make of it.
Always has been, always will be."
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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