April 05, 2011

Raymond

Raymond, age 7
Madison, KS (1988)

When I first came across this picture looking through the old family album with my mother, the only thing I could say was: "Mother, you can't tell me you didn't know. I mean really: a pink tank top and short shorts?" She looked at me and laughed, and said that she had always known.

Growing up, I always knew I was different.
I wasn't interested in getting girlfriends like my brothers did. I was too busy watching sappy love stories on TV, and playing Barbies with my sister and her best friend.

In junior high, I really started to hide who
I was, because that's when the name-calling started. It wasn't really said to my face, but
I heard people talking behind my back.

I do feel that I had a pretty good childhood.
I had friends and loved my family. I'm 1 of 4 kids, with an older brother and sister, and a younger brother.

At 18, I decided it was finally time to come out of the closet and let the world know exactly who I was. And I was scared out of my mind!

One night, I went to my parents' house around 2:00 in the morning. I went in their bedroom, woke them up, blurted out that I was gay, and out the door I ran!

By the time I got back home, the phone was ringing. I reluctantly answered it, and it was my mother. The first thing she said was she loved me, and that they had always known. And my response was, "Then why didn't you tell me, so I didn't have to tell you?"

My entire family has been great with the whole thing, and never once looked down on me because of who I am. I know they love me and my partner, just as much as they love my other siblings and their significant others.

Raymond's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Mark-Paul Gosselaar (on "Saved By The Bell")
Patrick Swayze (in "Dirty Dancing")
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Dirty Dancing (Single-Disc Widescreen Edition) I've A Feeling We're Not In Kansas Anymore: Tales from Gay Manhattan (Stonewall Inn Editions) Pretty in Pink (Everything's Duckie Edition)

April 04, 2011

Cameron

Cameron, age 5
Milton Keynes, UK (1994)

I knew I was a homosexual long before this picture was taken, but I've always maintained that I wasn’t gay till my teens. For me, being a homosexual is a biological fact, and being gay is a culture you can dip into, if the waters are warm.

Aside from playing Truth Or Dare as a young boy, where of course Truth never reared its head, my childhood was pretty unremarkable.

A discerning eye might say that being an only child from a single parent family is worth a detailed mention.
But I never thought it was, and feel my family is complete.

I'd like to think as a child I wasn't effeminate. But lord, was I posh.

Coupled with the fact that while boys were attractive, girls made infinitely better company. So I guess I had my own yellow-brick road.

Thinking back though, I wish I'd dared to ask a boy in my class to the school dance.

When I "came out" at 14, I faced some bullying at school. And what hit me, literally, was the reaction from some other kids around where I lived as a teen.

Being punched the floor, kicked, and called "f*ggot" and "queer" is something I've never been able to put out of my mind. Looking back, I regret my own cowardice. Not for failing to stand up to them, but being too ashamed to tell my Mum the truth of what happened.

A huge turning point for me was when my Mum called me one day. She told me she'd found a Christmas card that said "To my Son and his Boyfriend" - and how nice she thought that was.

Today, I'm a student at the University of East London. I've worked hard to establish our LGBT Society, and we now have 70+ members. I hope to become an LGBT Officer one day and to help promote LGBT equality. The Society made a video in aid of this, and I'd like to share it with you here.

Thanks for reading, and be yourself.

Katherine

Katherine, age1
Chicago, IL (1960)

That's me on the left, being pushed by MY OWN MOTHER to kiss my second cousin Cheryl. I found this in some boxes of old pictures at my dad's house. Though both my parents had been through those boxes numerous times to rummage for scrapbook-worthy snaps, they never chose this one.... hmmm.


Many years later, on the night my mom and I had that conversation, she asked, "What did I do to make you this way?" I wonder now if she was thinking about this picture, pondering: "DAMN. She was fine until that one idiotic party when someone had the bright idea to make the two adorable moptops smooch."

My mom died 5 years ago, and I wish I could have told her that the Christmas party incident recorded in the photo did not "make" me a lesbian. She certainly knew that the other girl in the picture was not a lesbian, so maybe I'm wrong.

I never needed mom's help after that to move in the direction of other girls!
Anyway, I love this picture and I'm glad I rescued it from cardboard box oblivion.

My message to young gay people:

Your family members value integrity, honesty, and loyalty - more than they value observance of social conventions. Or an adherence to a presumed moral code. But, give them some time to remember this after you tell them.

Katherine's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Julie Andrews (in "Mary Poppins")
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Mary Poppins (45th Anniversary Special Edition)The Kiss (Two Lesbian Girls) Poster Print - 16" X 20"Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay CommunityBody, Remember: A Memoir (Living Out: Gay and Lesbian Autobiographies)

April 03, 2011

* Born This Way Radio - Sundays! *

Hey everyone!
Be sure to check us out, every Sunday night!

"BORN THIS WAY RADIO"

TONIGHT! SUNDAY NIGHT
Special guest on 4/3/11 - Jimmy James!
8pm till 10pm (PDT // LA, CA time)
Streaming live & worldwide! Click: Moheak.com


"Born This Way Radio" is a 2-hour program dedicated to LGBTQ listeners,
featuring open and honest discussions and chit-chat about our experiences,
LGBTQ related music, comedy, current events, and advice

Inspired by this blog, the show will encourage listener participation from
LGBTQ kids - and adults or parents - who might be struggling with issues of
coming out, bullying, or harassment. Or just a fun place to chat!

We'll be taking your phone calls live, chatting via Skype,
and via your postings on Twitter and on Facebook.

All in an environment where callers can feel safe, understood, and accepted.
And yes, entertained too! We also invite all our straight allies to listen as well!
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Podcast streams of past shows are here:

April 01, 2011

Matt

Matt, age 9
Schaumburg, Illinois (1983)

I'm Matt, and this photo was shot while I was visiting my cousin in Phoenix, and her neighborhood friend came by for a swim. The following is my story...


I remember during recess, running around pretending to be Wonder Woman. After school on Fridays, I would sleepover at my cousin's who only had Barbie dolls to play with.

I was juggled around A LOT as a kid, due to my mother being terminally ill with MS, and my father working the 2nd shift at the airport. Because of this, I didn't have many friends and had always been a shy loner.

Junior High came around, and that meant changing/showering in front of other boys during gym class. I knew for sure now, that I was more attracted to them than I was to girls. My parents might have also sensed this, as they promptly enrolled me in a Catholic high school.

A kid on the bus once asked me whether I liked Playboy or Playgirl magazine. Not knowing what either was, I answered the latter. I figured with word "girl" in it, I was safe. The same day, a bully on the football team threw his meatball sandwich on me during lunch, but luckily a girl lent me her cardigan uniform.

It wouldn't be until a year after graduating from college that I came out to my friends, and a year after that to some of my family.

Today, I am finally comfortable with who I am and no longer feel ashamed to admit to my sexuality. It's ironic that those who knew me as a child, say they weren't surprised. Yet people I meet as an adult are usually surprised.

Perhaps I should cue the "Charlie's Angels" theme song and strike that Farrah Fawcett pose more often. Or spin around with my Lasso Of Truth?

Matt's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Gregory Harrison (on "Trapper John, MD")
Dirk Benedict (on "Battlestar Galactica" & "The A-Team")

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

March 31, 2011

Eva

Eva, age 3
Los Angeles, CA (1986)

I remember my Dad took this picture in the home I grew up in. I was always a tomboy, and loved baseball caps. Although now, I prefer them on other females.

I first realized I was a lesbian when I started checking out girls, at the time when all of my friends were checking out the boys. Coming out as a lesbian was as difficult for me, as it is for any gay kid.

But the fact that I am physically disabled and non-verbal made it a bit harder. I use a letter board to spell out my thoughts.

So imagine the stress of slowly coming out, letter by letter. On top of that, I didn't have any gay disabled role models to look up to, and I felt very alone.


Fortunately, when I did come out, my family and friends were totally cool.
I'm pretty sure they all had figured it out by then anyway.

Now as an adult, I embrace my queerness and consider it just one more aspect that makes me unique. Being a gay teen can be very hard, but please remember:

There's a whole community that is ready to help you, and embrace you.
It just may not seem that way right now.

I did find other LGBTQ people within the disabled community, and I'm now able to share my stories, frustrations, and joy.

Eva's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Melissa Joan Hart (in "Clarissa Explains It All")
Growing up as a Nickelodeon kid, I particularly loved her spunk.
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Clarissa Explains It All - Season One Queer Crips: Disabled Gay Men and Their Stories (Haworth Gay & Lesbian Studies) Pushing the Limits: Disabled Dykes Produce Culture Queer Quotes: On Coming Out and Culture, Love and Lust, Politics and Pride, and Much More

March 30, 2011

Jason

Jason, age 4
Iowa City, IA (1978)

I grew up in a rural farm town in Iowa. I always felt different, but didn't know quite why. But I lucked out having a mom who supported how different and creative I was from a very young age. She encouraged me to bake, sew, and garden with her. Particularly since my 2 sisters were less interested in all that.

When my great-grandmother died, my mom inherited some of her old clothes, including mink stoles, opera gloves, purses, and hats.

My mom wanted them to hold on to her memory, but they soon became my play costumes.

My mother had two close friends with sons, both a bit younger than me. One day while all the moms socialized at our house, we three boys dug into the closet where my great-grandmothers clothes were stored.

We donned various items of clothing, and then paraded out to show them.


We performed a Woman of the Year beauty pageant/fashion show, going back and forth with new ensembles, and doing a fashion runway. And all our moms thought we looked adorable.

I'm still amazed to this day how they didn't scold us or try to stop our behavior. In fact, they applauded our antics.

Years later, all three of us boys came out as gay.

My mother jests that "there was something in the water" where we grew up.
She understands that being gay is like a gift, and I am so grateful for that.

I'm now a multimedia and performing artist, and much of my work is proudly gay-themed. I know that the encouragement I received from an early age to be myself, no matter how different, helped me on my path.

I had to be extremely cautious at different points in my childhood and teenage years about my expressive nature, but I made it through. It didn't necessarily get easier or better, but I got bolder and more certain about who I am.

Which is, being most grateful to be born this way.

March 29, 2011

Lindsay

Lindsay, age 3
Western, Kentucky (1985)

I think I always knew on some level that I was different – and understood that different was not good. I was a tomboy, and I spent much of my childhood with my cousin Russ, who is the same age as me.


His older brother taught me new words like "f*g" and "queerbait." I have a very vivid memory of Russ calling me gay. We were about 6-years old at the time.
I asked him what it meant and he said, "It means you're a girl that likes girls."

I took a moment to process that in my little brain and concluded, "Yeah, you’re right." We went back to playing in the yard, and I buried that realization deep in my subconscious, to be painfully hashed out later.

At 6-years old, we don't yet have all of the ugly social messages we receive later in life. Messages that make us feel bad about ourselves. Even when I had my first crush on a girl in the 3rd grade, I didn't really know what it meant to be a lesbian. I did know, however, that I shouldn't talk about it with grown-ups.

By age 8, I knew people would think it was weird and wrong. I knew that I really liked Jo on "The Facts of Life" and was fascinated by the character Lady Jaye on "GI Joe." Even though I didn’t understand yet why I liked them so much, I was still embarrassed by those feelings.

Now when I reflect on my childhood, I can see the progression from carefree tomboy fighting on the playground, to awkward pre-teen who invented crushes on boys, to angry teen running away from feelings that I tried to pray away.

When I finally came out to my mom at age 21, she hugged me, told me she loved me, and said, "This is something I've been concerned about since you were 2."

I guess that's why she didn't argue too much when I asked for a He-Man themed 3rd birthday party, as seen in my picture.

I hope when queer kids growing up today see people like me, who are now out and proud - and a Mom! - they know that being gay AND happy is possible.

Linday's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Nancy McKeon (Jo on "Facts Of Life")

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Nancy Mckeon 12x16 Color Photograph Young, Gay, and Proud!: Fourth Edition (An AlyCat Title) Between Mom and Jo GI Joe: LADY JAYE International Heroes- Covert Operations-fully poseable modern army figure Manufactured in 1990

Zachary

Zachary, age 7
Mount Airy, NC (1997)

I obsessed over the Spice Girls since their first album. I had the Barbies, action figures, and even dressed up like Posh Spice (Victoria Beckham) sometimes.

Until the 6th grade, people called me "Spice Boy." I was teased daily, but I wouldn't let that stop my love of the Spice Girls, and just being who I was.

I knew I was gay very early, probably around 10-years old.

I would always watch pro wrestling, because I liked to see men in tight, little uniforms.

I never had a specific male crush back then. I was just drawn to shirtless, attractive men in general. And nothing has changed on that level.


Coming out was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

However, it was the best decision I have ever made.
I am happy with who I am, and I'm proud to be a gay American.

March 28, 2011

Rick

Rick, age 4
North Hollywood, CA (1967)

A couple months ago, I was rummaging through old photo albums at my father's house, and my heart stopped when I saw this pic of me as a small child. It really took my breath away, because it confirmed for me just how early in my life, that my path was set. I was not to be like other boys. Thank God!

I don't remember this picture being taken. But I do remember in the years after this, feeling different and isolated. Like during 1st grade, when I had a mad crush on a 5th grade boy.

I seemed to attract other effeminate boys as friends at school. I was always being taunted, beat up, chased, and teased all through school.

My mother finally allowed me to switch to a small church school mid-year in 8th grade, because I was so miserable at my public school.

It was during high school that I realized what was different about me. I knew I was gay, and it scared the hell out of me.


But how could I be gay? I was raised a Baptist???

Things began to fall into place in my life in my early 20's. I met John, my partner of 24 years, in 1987. We have a wonderful life together, and I have a wonderful and supportive family.

"Born This Way Blog" gives me such a strong feeling of belonging. What a great way to show young "different" people just how many of us have paths to follow that seem so different - yet are actually so alike.