Darcy

Darcy, age 3
New Philadelphia, Ohio (1987)

As a kid, I was a little odd. I liked girly things to an extent. I was okay with dresses, but not jewelry. I liked dolls, but I preferred crafty creative endeavors more. I guess it was kind of telling that when playing with Barbie dolls, I always had two Barbies living together, with no Ken around. Ken was just not interesting or necessary to me.

I loved Punky Brewster. She was
one of my early role models/loves. The Spice Girls were a major obsession, too. I had a new favorite member every few weeks.

And Gwen Stefani in the No Doubt days was the love of my life.

All these fierce women plastered my bedroom walls in high school.

Sadly, I got teased pretty badly in high school. I was called a slut, a dyke, a freak.

I cut off all my hair in 10th grade, and wore crazy thrift store clothes.

That probably didn't help much, but
I liked looking that way.

I always kissed girls but dated guys, and I tried really hard to make those relationships work.

I thought there was something wrong with me, as I was so unhappy. I spent years in therapy and on medication, thinking I was somehow essentially broken and would never find that spark of joy in my life. I drank heavily and used drugs and hated myself.

Finally, now, at age 27, I have the most amazing, beautiful girlfriend I could ever ask for. I finally feel like the missing piece has been found.

I also learned there was never anything wrong with me. I was just trying to fit into a place that wasn't meant for me. I don’t know what my future holds, but I finally found happiness. And I know I'm just fine exactly the way I am.

Darcy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Soleil Moon Frye (as "Punky Brewster")
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Alex

Alex, age 7
Glenrose, TX (1995)

This picture was taken at Dinosaur Valley State Park in Glenrose, Texas.
I found it a few years ago, and my first thought was, "I look like such a girl!"

When I was 3, my grandparents took my brother and I toy shopping. My brother picked out a battery operated robot.
I wanted a GoGo My Walkin' Pup - basically a girl's robotic poodle. Amazingly, they bought it for me!

I've known I was different since age 3, but I don't think I'd ever heard the word 'gay' until 14. And I wouldn't admit to myself that I was until 20.

And in Texas, we didn't talk about gay people, unless to call someone a f*g. Throughout middle school, that someone was usually me.

I came out to my family at 21, and they couldn't have been better about it.

Everything is so much easier now that I've gotten out of my own way and allowed myself to be the man I was born to become.

Today, I'm sort of a mixed bag kind of gay. I like being athletic and working out, but I also like quilting. My main passion is being as limitlessly creative as I possibly can, and I've written seven books to date. One is about my experiences growing up gay in rural Texas.

If I could say one thing to anyone questioning themselves, it would be this:
In a contest between your head and your heart, always follow your heart.

Your head is subject to the opinions of the most charismatic person you meet.
But your heart is always the purest, most undiluted voice of who YOU really are.

Alex's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Austin St. John (the Red Power Ranger)
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Eric

Eric, age 2
Lille, France (1995)

I've always been different. I loved playing with girls, but not with boys or playing boys' stuff. In fact, I hated boys because they were mean to me!

I was the weird boy of the school who didn't play football, and who spent his time drawing or reading. I even had Barbie dolls.

I first realized that I might be gay at 13. I felt things for boys before, but never thought I might be gay.

When I was sure I was gay, I wanted to die. I felt ashamed and disgusted. And I swore I would only date girls.

But at age 16, and pretty sure I wasn't gay? I fell madly in love with a guy!

I was feeling so good, I knew it couldn't be wrong. However, after being rejected by this guy who didn't love me back, I finally started to come out. I first told my friends and then my parents. They were very supportive, and I feel very lucky.

Today, I am out, gay, and proud - and I love it!
And PS: I still love wearing this hat, and I still think cowboys are so sexy!

Eric's first, famous-person same sex crush:
The two guys kissing in Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" video

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Collin

Collin, age 7
Hampshire, England (1997)

This is me and my little sister, back when I was a young girl named Naomi.
I was always a bit of a tomboy and always asked to have short hair, which Mum was reluctant to let me do. Unfortunately, she was proven right, as when I started Junior High, I was forced to grow it again, due to relentless bullying.

I didn't realize I was unusual until my sister was born. I'd always assumed that what I thought was normal: To wish you'd been born a boy, or hope you'd wake up one morning as a boy.

I fit in well with my younger brothers. But as I grew up, I started realizing that maybe I was the odd one out. I hated puberty and felt completely alienated from everyone around me, particularly as I went to an all-girls' school.

I'd heard of lesbians being different, so I tried looking at girls. But they still didn't interest me, so I gave up.

I first hear the word "transgender" in college, as a friend I made there was transitioning from male to female.

And right away it made sense, even though I was scared to admit it to anyone. When I finally told my parents, they'd been expecting it for a while, although they still weren't happy about it.

I had a few bad reactions from friends too, particularly my then-boyfriend who caused me to end up in the hospital for a day. But on the whole, it went OK.

Today, I've just finished my 2nd year of a 3-year university degree. I've been on testosterone for over a year, and I'm preparing for top surgery soon. My family and friends are supportive, and I'm much more comfortable with who I am.

One troubling comment I got back then was:
"Why can't you just be a straight girl? It would be so much easier."

So to any other gay or transgender people out there, I'd say to believe in yourself. Transitioning is about showing who you are, so don't let other people tell you what's right for you. It may be harder at first, but it's worth it in the long run.
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Nikki

Nikki, age 7
Wheeling, W. Virginia (1979)

I grew up in a Catholic household in West Virginia. I attended Catholic school for 12 years and never heard anyone talk about being gay until I was in high school. Of course, when I did hear these comments, they were not positive.

I think that I always knew that I was different than the other girls in my neighborhood and school. At that time, I had short hair and was into sports, more than any of my friends.

I resisted wearing dresses or anything girly. I spent my time hanging out with the boys in the neighborhood, playing tackle football, instead of playing house with the girls.

I remember once, right around age 7, telling one of my friends in the neighborhood that I was really a boy, but that we just told people that I was a girl.

I remember that the one thing she said was, "But then you won't be able to have babies!" I didn't really care about having babies, so I just shrugged my shoulders. But she was really upset about it.

She told her mom what I had told her. Her mom, of course, told my mom and
I got in trouble for lying. Looking back now, I know that I didn't really want to
be a boy. What I wanted was what boys could have: relationships with girls.

Today, I am completely out to my family and they have been very supportive.
I am also out at work and have some great, supportive co-workers.

What I would tell the youth of today, is to find people who will support you and
let you be yourself. Life is amazing when you can finally be yourself!

Nikki's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Nancy McKeon (Jo on "The Facts of Life")
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Jeferson

Jeferson, age 7
Novo Hamburgo, Brazil (1991)

This is me and my sister, and one of my "My Little Pony" dolls, which I collected for 4 years.

As a kid, I felt torn between playing games and toys meant for girls, or those meant for boys.

In my confusion, I didn't know
if I wanted to be He-Man, or be
She-Ra. Hahaha!

I always had more female friends as a kid, and was the target of bullying for it.


I was extremely shy, and I spent my entire adolescence without feeling accepted or understood. I was very inexperienced, and felt I could not approach the girls. But when I was 25, I had my first kiss with a woman.

It was only after entering the theater that I decided to accept myself as gay,
and try being with guys. Once I did, I knew being with men was my true nature.

I eventually told my godfather (who is also gay) and who was a childhood friend of my father. Today, my whole family accepts me and supports me.

Jeferson's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Jonathan Knight & Joey McIntyre (from New Kids on The Block)
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Denise

Denise, age 5
Chicago, Illinois (1963)

I would have thought that being thrown out of the Girl Scouts when I was 8 -
for being caught in my sleeping bag with one of my female camp counselors - would have tipped someone off!

Like many before me, I knew early on I was "different" but so afraid to name it.
I didn't want to be a disappointment to my parents and family. Growing up in a large Italian family was tough enough.

Being a lesbian would have destroyed them. Or so I thought. Of course, like most Italian families, we didn't dare talk about such things!

I tried to be correct in my clothes choices and my dating, etc. Although always in sports (clue #2), I pretty much stuck to myself except for the occasional date with a guy to keep my family happy.

I eventually met a nice man named James.
And he put up with a lot from me.

James and I married, and I struggled the entire marriage to make it feel "right." And I wanted to be "normal" in the worst way. We finally divorced and went our separate ways when I met a woman at work, who turned my world upside down.

I officially came out to my family then. And guess what? They weren't surprised!
I was prepared for drama that never came; only love for me through my journey.

I eventually met my current partner in 1983. And we have been friends, lovers, and partners in life ever since. We have 2 beautiful teenage sons, own our own businesses, and a home in Denver, CO. And although our state doesn’t recognize our relationship, all the people that matter and mean the most to us, do.

One day, hopefully soon, we may be able to get legally married.
So my message is this: It does get better. Stay true to you.
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Donald

Donald, age 11
Omaha, Nebraska (1981)

Only a young gay boy could strike a pose with a 5-pound carp! And this photo sums up my childhood. I enjoyed being outside playing in the dirt, climbing trees, fishing, and doing archery. No girly stuff. This, despite having two older sisters who dressed me up in pigtails and paraded me around the neighborhood once. I just consider myself an unwilling participant that day.

I always felt "different" as I was an introvert, and not into sports.

And I didn't feel comfortable around my peer group.

My mom always told me that I was just "3 steps ahead" of my friends, so I came to believe my "differentness" was simply being more advanced than my peers.

My first (and only) gay experience was with my childhood friend, when I was about 11.

I was over at his house and he "accidentally" touched me - and I "accidentally" touched him right back. It was awesome!

We did this off and on for a few years, until we drifted apart.

I held on to those memories but I never dared to repeat the experience, because of the shame and guilt. The word "gay" never entered into my vocabulary until about 7-years ago, when I actually figured out that I was gay. This, after being married for 7 years and having 2 absolutely wonderful sons.

Because I never identified as gay, I had a relatively normal childhood.
In fact, I've only been called "freak" and "offensive" to my face, by my own wife!

I'm out to both our immediate families. My family is just fine with me, though we never actually talk about it. I sometimes wonder:

Did my mom know all along?

I have a lot of sorting out to do, and I am fearful yet hopeful for my uncertain future. I look at my photo now and just wish that I could be that naïve boy again. I wasn't afraid back then.

So my advice to the youth of today is:
One of the greatest fears, is the fear of being yourself. So get over that fear!
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Noelle

Noelle, age 4
St. Charles, Missouri (1987)

I think that I realized that I was different at a fairly young age. I grew up a "tomboy" that used to melt my sisters' Barbie dolls in the microwave. I loved to play outside and was always in overalls and my saddle shoes.

One of the last times I wore a dress was at an 8th grade dance. I hated dresses and skirts back then. I still do.

Jeans, t-shirts, or a button-down with a tie is about all you'll catch me wearing as an adult.

I didn't actually come out until just a few years ago, when I was 24. Despite having a more than supportive family, for the longest time I kept telling myself that it wasn't true I was gay.

I even thought that the kind of music
I listened to, (primarily heavy rock) would prove that I couldn't be gay.

Not because of fear of not being accepted, but more so that I thought it would make my life difficult. Boy, was I wrong...

Now that I am out, I couldn't be happier about it. I'm very proud of who I am and want younger people to know that things DO GET BETTER.
I was very fortunate to have such an accepting family and amazing friends.

Not everyone is as fortunate. But I know that those people wouldn't change who they are for the world. And if their families don't accept them, then they create their own with the loving people around them. "Family" doesn't necessarily mean blood-related.

The world is changing and people are slowly evolving.
Hang in there and ALWAYS be yourself. Besides, everyone else is taken!

Noelle's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Jamie Lee Curtis (in "True Lies")
Joyce Hyser (in "Just One of the Guys")
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Kellie

Kellie, age 4
Ector, TX (1973)

When I was little, I often wondered how long it would be until I was big enough to drive that tractor. That day I was obviously too little, so I played on it and sang "Delta Dawn" by Helen Reddy. I don't remember doing it, but I know that is the song, because my lovely mother noted it on the back of the picture.

When I was in 2nd grade my teacher called my parents in and told them she thought I was gay. I suppose I was posturing in a way that was too masculine for her liking. I never knew of this accusation, or even what "gay" was at that time. But when I came out in my mid 20's, my mother told me about it.

I had frequent crushes on girls - sometimes my best friend, but not always - mainly starting in high school. I had 3 different boyfriends then and into college, but they just served the purpose of someone to go to events and dances with.

I kept my sexuality under tight wraps until I was in graduate school. The only hard part about coming out was watching my parents cry. And cry, they did.
But they came around a few months later.

Today, I am a completely out gay in a smallish town in Texas. I've been called a dyke on a few dozen occasions. "That's Dr. Dyke to you," I respond, with a smile. I love being gay, and I can't begin to imagine being any other way.

When I look at this photo now, I think about how big that tractor seemed to me back then. As a grown-up, on occasion, I drive much bigger tractors than this.

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