Grace

Grace, age 5

Manila, Philippines (1952)

I'm sitting on the bike, and that's my sister with me. And they really tried to "girl" me up by making us dress alike with fluffy dresses. But I was happiest dressed in jeans, or - as you can see here - in my underwear!

I've always been a little tomboy. There were mostly boys in my family, and besides my sister,
I played with the boys.

I was the oldest child, and when we played war I was the General, when we played cowboys, I was the Sheriff.
I didn't like dolls for presents, and I loved guns, tools, and building toys like erector sets.

My family didn't think anything of how I was. At least I don't think so. They did try to make me more lady-like by sending me to a local finishing school,
to learn to walk properly, and put on makeup, etc.

I actually like this picture now, because it confirms me. 

Grace's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Suzanne Pleshette

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Kirk

Kirk, age 7

West Chicago, Illinois (1981)

As a kid I loved Ken dolls. I had quite a collection and enjoyed playing along with my sisters and their Barbies. The only thing was that eventually my sisters outgrew the Barbies, and I never, ever did.

I first put two and two together and knew I was gay around the age of 11.

I had always heard that boys would grow up to like girls, and that was that.

I didn't know if or when I'd begin to develop sexual feelings towards girls.

I also didn't know if all the things I had already been thinking about boys were even sexual at all.

My first clue came from some horrible little everything-you-need-to-know-about-your-body-through-Christ-type of books that my mom had brought home, and surreptitiously slipped onto the bookshelf. In its 200 pages, it mentioned homosexuality exactly once - only to say that it was 'a horrible thing that will NEVER happen to you.'

Well, to hell with that!

I now know that I have always been who I am, and that honesty is the key to living a happy and fulfilled life. Be yourself above all else; if you don't, who will?

First celebrity crush: I don't remember an exact object of my nascent affections, but I do know that seeing boxers all sweaty in their satin shorts gave me very strange feelings inside.
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Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Chrissy

Chrissy, age 8

Kaplan, LA (1986)

This picture was taken at the peak of me being called a tomboy. People often asked why I don't play with girls or dolls more often, and I'd tell them that they bore me. I also quickly informed people that I hated Barbie and much preferred He-Man, Ninja Turtles, and Nintendo. I recall wondering why it even mattered.

I grew up in Cajun Country, where gender roles are emphasized, almost to a caricature. While I was enrolled in ballet and gymnastics - until I landed on a girl's head, then quit - I also enjoyed climbing trees, karate lessons, and playing baseball with the boys.

My first cognizant crush on a girl was about when I was in 8th grade; she was a pretty blond named Nichole. As a practicing Roman Catholic, I faced a lot of inner turmoil when I realized I was attracted to women.

My friends and family, however, were nothing short of phenomenal in accepting me when I came out at age 18.

I was a lot harsher on myself than anyone else, except maybe my fundamentalist Christian brother. We went 3 years without speaking after I came out, but we are now civil to one another.

Staying in the closet for so long was one of the most detrimental things I've done to my self-esteem. I encourage all young, closeted LGBT's to be bold and come out as soon as it's safe. It may very well go a lot better than you expect.

And anyone who rejects you doesn't deserve to have you in your life.

Chrissy's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Reba McEntire

Reba. So country! Oh, and Sherilyn Fenn from 'Twin Peaks'
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Natasha

Natasha, age 6
London, UK (1998)

I didn't really wear dresses after the age of 5, unless I had to. I always loved dressing-up, usually as some kind of Victorian urchin. I was pretty obsessed with the musical "Oliver," and while my friends dressed up as Disney Princesses, I was dressing up as the Artful Dodger. This picture makes me smile, I look so pleased with myself.

I always knew I was different, but I wasn't really sure what it was that made me different.

For a while, I thought I wanted to be a boy, or might hate being girl. So I was branded a "tomboy" for quite a while.

In early adolescence I spent quite a lot of time desperately hoping that I would fancy a boy, but it never really happened.

I thought I was odd, and so I began to lie about who I was attracted to, hoping it would eventually come true.



It wasn't until I was around 15 that I started to realize that I liked girls, although on some level I guess I already knew. I came out when I was 17, and people were generally unsurprised.

My message for young LGBT people would be to always stay true to yourself; don't hide who you are because of other people's bigotry. Stay safe, and love yourself.

Natasha's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Pocahontas & Drew Barrymore (in "Charlie's Angels")

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Alyson

Alyson, age 6

San Antonio, Texas (1991)

My little sister is the short one in the photo, who came out 5 years before I did. The photo was taken before either of us knew what it meant to be gay. It's the first time walking to the school bus stop by ourselves for the first day of school.

I'm dyslexic and always felt different, yet it took a while for me to allow myself to know I was gay - even if I was consistently "gender queer."

I remember worrying about my attraction to women from as early of an age as 10. Still embarrassing to this day is my attraction to Jamie Lee Curtis, and her character in "True Lies."

In middle school, I was curious about the LGBT community, but it worked itself out via my interest in artists like Michael Stipe, Allen Ginsberg, Oscar Wilde, and other male icons.

That was easier than opening up the Pandora’s Box of my attraction to women.

So yeah, my younger sister beat me to it. I think my family expected my sister to come out as gay. Unlike me, she never lied to herself or others by pretending she was interested in boys. She might have also had the advantage of knowing more clearly what her attraction was. This goes to show that everyone is different.

Alyson's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jamie Lee Curtis (in "True Lies")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Pat

Pat, age 3

Mobile, AL (1960)

When I was 3, I had only just begun to know the value of a good look. In this case it was a petticoat from my sister's closet. I not only used the simpler version (shown here) as a skirt, but used her frillier one as fake hair. This was only after trial and error, and learning that using Spanish moss as fake hair left me with itchy chiggers. Chiggers are red bugs with painful bites. We'd paint them with fingernail polish to suffocate them. Thus, it was necessary to raid my mother's make-up. This may or may not be suitable chigger treatment, but hey...

"Pat comes out of the closet at age 3"

It was also about this time that I developed my soprano singing voice. "Away In A Manger" was my most requested song, no matter the time of year.

My ability to do 'The Twist' for hours on end made me the entertainment go-to for most of my parents' parties.

I never dressed in ladies' clothes again until I was 14 and was "required" to do so at my large southern Baptist church during a youth retreat.

I tied with a guy named Charlie as the winner in a "backwards" Beauty Pageant. This time, I was a knockout in my Mom’s alligator pumps and handbag, and a long black fall (a half wig) that belonged to my 5th grade teacher.

My childhood crush was Sandy on "Flipper" and I even wanted to change my name to Sandy. In retrospect, it was probably just an effort to get close to his dad, Ranger Ricks (Brian Kelly). I wonder if they ever used petticoats so creatively?

I can honestly say that the Baptist church, the Alabama public education system, and a superstar dolphin sitcom definitely fine-tuned my sense of style. And it all made me the blissful gay Renaissance man I am today.

Somebody say AMEN!

Pat's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Luke Halpin (Sandy on "Flipper")

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David

David, age 5

Mt. Vernon, OH (1970)

This is me, Little David, from Mt. Vernon, Ohio - birthplace of Paul Lynde!

"Drying my hair with The Joy of Cooking"

I LOVED this hairdryer and used it whether my hair needed drying or not. It was like having a big, yellow, warm 'n sunshiney, electric hat on my head. I'm pretty sure that the book in my lap is "The Joy of Cooking" and I'm pretending to read.

I always felt different. I was always "too sensitive" and I didn't have many friends. And the few friends I did have were girls, not boys.

David's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Freddie (on "Scooby Doo")

Aqua-Man, Davey Crockett, & Davy Jones ("The Monkees")

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Dina

Dina, age 5

Olympia, WA (1988)

What makes a person look gay? What makes a person look straight?

When I was a little girl, I was a study in contradictions: I loved dressing up and playing with Barbies and My Little Ponies, as much as I loved digging in the sandbox and helping my dad in the workshop. When my aunt got married, she chose me to be the flower girl.
My grandmother made me this beautiful pink dress. I freaking loved that dress, insisting on wearing it whenever there was a formal event.

When I grew older, it became apparent I was different than other girls, but I couldn’t figure out exactly why. Somehow it got channeled into me wanting to dress and act less feminine.

I rarely wore a skirt or dress during middle and high school, and I never wore makeup 0 except at my synchronized swim meets, where I had no choice.


But that wasn’t authentic to me, either. It took me years to realize that what made me different was my attraction to other girls. Once I came to terms with that part of my identity in college, I started re-embracing my feminine side.

I started wearing makeup occasionally and wearing skirts to class. In a way, that was more freeing than my experiments with masculinity in middle school.

Today, I am still a study in contradictions. I’ll wear a pretty sundress and ballet flats one day, jeans and a t-shirt the next. I like video games as much as I like fashion. I feel like this is my true self, a true self I was not able to fully express until I got rid of the baggage of being a queer adolescent.

I hope if any queer kids see this, they'll understand they can be queer in their own way, which doesn’t mean denying the more "mainstream" parts of themselves!

Nick

Nick, age 5

Monclova, Ohio (1988)

I'd say I always had pizazz. I don't think I was ever over-the-top enough to be considered flamboyant, but I certainly was not meek or mild in my mannerisms. I never felt drastically different from the rest of my family, as everyone was a character. Home was a good place, even as my older brother came out at 25, and I was 17. I followed suit a year later. We were still treated the same, because we were the same: just colorful characters captured in photos like this one.

I was always attracted to guys, even at a very young age.

When teachers in elementary school announced the arrival of a new student, I would be gravely disappointed if the newcomer was a girl.

You see, I loved boys.

Boys were enigmatic to me and I didn't understand them. I observed them in class, running in herds on soccer fields, riding bikes in my neighborhood.

I didn't get what was so interesting, but I wanted to.

They excited me, like a toy I really wanted that was too expensive for my parents to buy. I couldn't get my hands on them, and I desperately wanted to!

Gay was such a negative term when I was growing up. It was used to harass and embarrass. I didn't want to be gay, and I denied it as I grew out of my childhood. When I was 15, however, I crumbled.

At a family party, the son of my mother's coworker said something to me I will never forget. I'd been running around, had gotten sweaty, and was looking for my sister. I found her in a group of kids, this boy included, and as I ran up to them, the first thing out of my mouth was, 'Phew, I'm really hot'.

This beautiful boy that changed my stubborn thoughts and unlocked my sexuality, looked me up and down and said, 'You sure are.' Everyone in the group took it as a joke and laughed about the absurdity. But I looked at him, stunned, and saw, for the first time in my life, that knowing look that gay men give each other. That look that travels across crowds of people, that sixth sense like your own personal dog whistle that raises every alarm in your head.

The knowing was instantaneous: Now I knew! GAY. I am gay.

The thing I knew since the days when this photo was taken, and the thing I denied for years, was true. Utterly and undeniably true. And then: relief.

And then, the beginning to a wonderful life!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Ben

Ben, age 6

Dallas, Texas (1984)

This picture still cracks me up! I mean, look at me: the posing, the tutu, the Bronco's t-shirt (???), the bow in my hair, mom's heels, and a cocked leg!

I wonder what my sister, Erin (background) thought when she saw me? I also wonder who took this picture? My Mom or Dad?!

My parents said they always knew - hmm, I wonder how! While I don't recall this particular dress-up, what stayed with me was what my Mom lived by and instilled in us:

She'd say, 'Let's put on a show!'

My mom (RIP) was a showy woman, and she liked prizes.

Today I'm a showy man, and I like prizes too. Coincidence?

And in one way or another, we have been playing dress up ever since. Luckily for me, my parents always accepted us just the way we are. They encouraged me to be and do whatever I wanted. Thankfully, I never wanted to be a ballet dancer or a football player, because I still can't dance or catch a ball.

I was probably about 10 when my attraction to men started to kick in. I knew I couldn't love Wonder Woman forever, so I switched gears to "Growing Pains."

I crushed on Jeremy Miller (Ben Seaver) for when I wanted a cute friend to kiss, and Allen Thicke (the dad) for that sexy father figure role. Also, I loved Ricky Schroeder on "Silver Spoons." Sooo cute! And last, Jerry Sharell, as Mickey the bass player on Kids Incorporated!

Of course I also loved "My Little Pony," brushing out my sister's Barbies hair, and flipping through the International Male Catalog. What can ya do?

Who knew that I'd grow up wanting to be an ice skater, then a musical theater performer (who acts and sings, not dances), and who now manages a hair salon in Boston - that my husband owns?! That is pretty cool.

And anything is possible for anyone - even for a little gay boy from Texas.

Ben's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jeremy Miller (Ben Seaver on "Growing Pains")

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