Julia

Julia, age 6

Sydney, Australia (1988)

This is Christmas day, and my sisters and their "long lost brother". Luckily my parents were supportive of my rejection of gender roles in their gift-giving. And thanks to my nanna who made those awesome pajamas.

A year before this photo, my neighbors gave me a Barbie doll, which I proceeded to throw back over the fence into their yard. It was totally out of character for me, being so rude to people that weren't my family. But I was a bit pissed off.

Pissed off, because I played with their son quite often, and they should've known I wasn't into such "girly" toys. I still feel quite ashamed, because they were actually quite nice people. A big sorry to Mr. & Mrs. Lee, wherever you might be.

I started noticing that I was drawn to women and girls my own age a couple of years after this photo was taken. But it wasn't until I started high school at 12, that I fell absolutely in love with a girl in my class.

At that point, I knew for certain that I was a massive queer.

We had moved to a small regional coastal town when I was 8, and I was fairly quiet as a teenager so, I didn't feel confident enough to come out during high school. Despite having boyfriends until university, I was still getting into queer popular culture, and listening to Ani Difranco, Tori Amos, and Madonna.

When I finally came out, it amazed me that I had so many similar interests to other queers. Here I was thinking I was all unique, only to find out that I was just another stereotypical lezbot. Not that it bothers me, and it's great to finally be out.

The only regret I have is giving up skateboarding - I tried to have a go last year but had an unfortunate run in with a gum nut which put an end to that endeavour. Oh, to be a fearless tomboy again!

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Nathan

Nathan, age 7

Saint Paris, OH (1992)

Here I am, 7-years old at the County Fair, and throwing some shade to the camera. I grew up on a farm in rural Ohio.

I always knew I was different. I always loved playing with my sister's Barbies,
My Little Pony, and Rainbow Brite dolls.

I remember being teased and taunted for being gay, before I even really knew what being gay meant.

Back then, I loved dancing to Michael Jackson.
And now, this picture makes me smile : )

Nathan's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Cary Elwes (in "The Princess Bride")

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Tat

Tat, age 11
Queensland, Australia (1988)

My childhood was all about waiting. Waiting to work out why I saw things differently, and waiting for all the pieces to make sense.

Pieces like really liking my best friend; having fun and free flowing conversations with boys, but shy and 'funny feeling' half-talks with girls; playing with Cabbage Patch Kids and Barbies, but not knowing why I didn't want Ken and Big Bear included as well.

Or why I loved with resounding imaginative passion Anne of Green Gable & George from "Famous Five;" repetitively reading Miles Franklin's "My Brilliant Career". And, knowing Emma Thompson was an ethereal goddess.

I have mixed feelings about this pic, as it epitomizes all that waiting.


Soon after this photo, things changed to me 'waiting to leave.'
Leave my childhood, my small town, Catholicism, and 'being different.'

At age 11, it was starting to make sense. But with a Catholic overlay and my account of 'women who liked women’ to be crew-cuts, jeans, and white linen shirts with boots - I was not sure that all that, was me.

Thankfully I left my town and family to learn all the pieces were gay. And in time, more importantly learned that I was a "gay lady" - with passions for designer handbags, cut jeans, high heels, flowing dresses, weekend converse, blow-dryers & hair strengtheners, and impeccably neat skirt suits. Interestingly,
I have never quite gotten the hang of cosmetics.

I currently live in a place where being out is detrimental to my physical and mental health. I have made a decision not to be open whilst I'm here - but to 'hide in plain sight' with my femme presentation.

Every now and again this makes me feel like a traitor. But on balance, it is just for now, and not forever. At least, here, right now, I am no longer waiting:
I now know, and am ecstatic about, who I am.

Tat's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Emma Thompson
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Chris

Chris, age 6 months
Goldsboro, NC (1972)

Looking back, now I understand why I had such a emotional attachment to guys at such a early age. I hoped this would go away as I grew older, but it didn't.

I dated girls from 9th grade until the end of High School, hoping the gay rumors would go away - but they never did, either.

I came out to my family at 25, because I was never good at secrets. As an adult, I'm into nerdy TV like PBS, National Geographic, History Channel, & Discovery Channel.

And movies like "Big Eden" and "The Note Book" are favorites of mine. I am now 38, still single, and it does get lonely sometimes.


But never the less, I am HAPPY! :-)

Chris' first, famous-person same sex crush:

Bob Denver ("Gilligan's Island")

I know that sounds weird, but...
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Paul

Paul, age 5

Sacramento, CA (1961)

Now at age 54, I look back at this photo of me and remember my "first gay thought": It was when Steve, my best friend next door, "mooned" me from his bedroom window. Though I couldn't identify those feelings or the attraction,
I absolutely loved it, and the feeling was intense enough that I never forgot it.

 I tried to be the best little kid in the world, totally respecting all authority and acting like an angel; probably overcompensation for realizing that I was born different, and there was no changing that.

Around 6 or 7, I loved watching "Daniel Boone" on TV, as I was so in love with Daniel's blond-haired son, Israel. 

At age 8 I remember I was also very attracted to one particular plastic army man (the sniper). His posterior seemed to be such a turn on.

Finally on my 21st birthday, I completely came out to myself.
It was either that or suicide.

Adults want to deny these feelings - either straight or gay - in kids, but we know the truth that most of us experience those sexual and affectionate feelings at young ages.

Paul's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Darby Hinton (Israel on "Daniel Boone")

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Sam

Sam, age 10

Queensland, Australia (1981)

At this age, I had no idea what a lesbian was. Nobody said 'that's so gay' back in those days! I did, however, have a series of crushes on my 'best friends' and was in the habit of convincing the other girls at school to practice kissing with me.

I remember going to one school friend's party where we all hid under the house to play spin-the-bottle.

I tried kissing some of the boys, but it wasn't nearly as much fun as kissing one of the girls.

So my 'best friend' and I found our own corner to kiss in. Nobody else seemed to notice or care!

In those days, I loved Cyndi Lauper, Madonna, and Joan Jett - girls who didn't play by the rules.

Many years later, I went to the movies to see a movie called "Go Fish" - and I had no idea it was about lesbians.

When I walked out of the movie I said to my friend:
'I'm one of those girls - I'm a lesbian!'

It was a defining moment for me, the first time I realized it was OK to be attracted to other girls!
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