Sara

Sara, age 10
Worcester, Massachusetts (1999)

The school photographer hated me because I refused to smile. He even made a note of it in my photo-packet, in case my parents got upset. They weren't though, once I explained that I wanted a "serious" picture, like the ones taken of them in the old country.

But really, my logic was: 'I'll be more handsome with a straight face and a leopard print collared shirt'.

I was teased around this age for my thick Persian accent, but more so for my androgyny. I didn't have a word for it then, but "Are you a boy or a girl?" was something I heard often.

Being the only nerdy, gay child of immigrant parents in a (trashy) white town, our family felt jealousy and resentment. All I ever wanted was to make the family proud, but I knew that my existence alone painted a target on their backs.

My parents used my good grades to excuse my gender-bending, and quickly changed the topic to that whenever the subject of my tomboy-ness came up.

My friends said "We always knew," my mom said "I don't want you to be denied ANY opportunity in life," and my dad said "Whatever makes you happy."

Personally, I never accepted the classical notions of "boys" and "girls" that they fed us in school, and neither did my peers, all of whom grew to love me. I pursued my goals and never apologized for being born a queer.

If any teens or pre-teens are reading this, just focus on your own well-being.

If you work at being a trustworthy, loving, and genuine person, those who really matter will recognize your worth, and who'll seek to earn your companionship.

Sara's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Julie Andrews in "The Sound Of Music"
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Fay

Fay, age 5
San Jose, California (1991)

I'm on the far right in my photo. We were at Marine World when I saw this group of girls hanging out on the bench. My mom saw me staring at them and forced me to go introduce myself. She was so proud that I made new "American" friends that she had to take a picture.

At the time, I remember thinking to myself, "Wow! These girls are so pretty!"
As I got older, I realized my admirations for girls were really crushes in disguise.

We moved to California from the Philippines and I hardly knew any English,
so I was very shy and it was hard for me to make friends. But I always knew I was different at a young age. I hated dresses and dolls, and when we played house, I always preferred playing the daddy, or the pet Dalmatian. God forbid that I would ever play the role of the mommy or sister!

I had a difficult time coping with my sexuality in a traditional Filipino-Catholic household. My family was hopeful that someday I would grow out of being a tomboy. But instead, I just evolved into a lesbian.

My family eventually learned to love and accept me for who I am. Though it took time, my parents and I now have a great relationship and I couldn't ask for a better support system.

So my advice to gay kids, especially those living in non-accepting families, is to hang in there. I swear that it does get better. When it comes down to it, the only acceptance you truly need is your own.

You were born this way. So just believe in yourself, and others will follow.
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Zulema

Zulema, age 7
Phoenix, Arizona (1992)

I've always felt different.
Heck, even my name is different.

My girl crush was always on Angelina Jolie. My first lesbian "experience" was at the age of 19, when I fell in love for the first time with my best friend. That didn't work out and I'm still coping.

Strangely, my siblings are like me:
My two younger brothers and an older sister are gay as well.

We never quite spoke of our sexuality until Facebook came around, and we've became more open about it.

This picture brings me joy because I'm now an artist.
It's true when they say we all have a destiny.
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Lauren

Lauren, age 4
Atlanta, Georgia (1995)

I might not have known at age 4 that I was a lesbian, but I knew by the time I turned 8-years old that I was beginning to wonder why I wasn't like my cousin, Alex. All I wanted to do was wear boy's clothes like him, play with action figures like him, and to talk about my girl crushes like he did.

I'll never forget my first love in 8th grade. But being in middle school, not many kids knew what the meaning of LGBTQ was. Luckily for me, when I came out at that age to my friends, everyone was supportive and I wasn't bullied like I feared.

Today at age 20, I have an astounding partner, a successful job being an EMT, and supportive family and friends.

My little encouragement for LGBTQ kids and people today is to not let others define you. I am who I am today, and I was born this way.
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Aimee

Aimee, age 8
Portland, Oregon (1981)

Hello! My name is Aimee and I was born this way in Oregon.

The closest professional football team was the Seattle Seahawks, and although my brother was given a San Francisco Giants uniform, I was the only one to wear mine daily.

I was active in sports and I thank the drafters of Title 9, as that allowed for girls to express non-traditional feminine attributes. And that was a big deal in 1972!

Although some freedoms of expression were encouraged during my childhood, I grew up in a homophobic environment.

I did not feel comfortable coming out until I left home at age 17. Since then,
I have been very active supporting LGBTQ youth and now work as a professor teaching human sexuality to undergraduates.

My message for LGBTQ youth who feel alone is: please know there is a loving community of LGBTQ adults who have experienced some or most of what you may be feeling today - and it does get better.

You are not alone, so reach out and you will find an open hand.
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Tracy

Tracy, age 12
Salem, Oregon (1972)

This was me on Christmas day, 1972. My poor mom went shopping for an outfit she thought I would like, and bought a shirt with a man's necktie attached as part of the shirt! I was devastated. My mom saw my face when I opened the gift.

I looked up at her, and with tears streaming down my face, and I said:

"You think I'm a boy????"

So my mom took that shirt, got her seam ripper out, and removed the necktie.

My life was unusual already, having deaf parents. I have deaf relatives on both sides of the family. It is hereditary. However, I do not have any hearing loss.

My mom taught me how to do everything.
I knew how to cook, clean, sew my own clothes and iron.

But as my dad didn't have a son at that time,
I learned his trade as well. He was a car painter, a body and fender man. I learned to mask, sand, and apply primer.

I knew I liked women at the age of five. I liked the way my first grade teacher smelled, and she was very affectionate and kind to all of us.

But I didn't know what being a lesbian meant. I had only one boy I talked to, but we never dated, and my first experience with a woman didn't happen until college.

As for the outfit, I wore it over and over, until I grew taller. I felt so cool!
And I still looked like a little dyke, even without a necktie!!!
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Bobby & Leticia

Bobby & Leticia (cousins), age 3
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (1993)

Bobby:
Growing up in a family that was all women, I quickly latched on to the one that was closest to me in age. I think I first realized I was gay around 3 or 4, but I didn't know it was called being gay. I always thought I was, then the dreams started. In my head I remember thinking, "Yep I'm gay." All I knew is that guys were what I liked. Girls were just my friends.

Leticia and I being born in the same family is no accident. I believe God knew that we would need each other. She was the first person I told I was gay, and the first to understand my fear. She has helped me through life and all its struggles.
When I told my mom I was gay this year, I was scared. But she still loves me.

Leticia:
I first realized I was different when I was 6, and a game of pretend house that lead to me kissing a girl. I think I knew something was going on with me, considering I was playing the husband. I have always just been one of the guys.

I told my mother when I was 14 and my dad when I was 20. It's been a long journey, but I feel that I'm lucky because I have had my cousin Bobby this whole time. We are now 22 and 21, and we talk every day with no boundaries.

I lucked out being raised with him, and I know that he feels the same for me.
My family loves me no matter what. I am accepted and that's all I ask for.

Both:
We are lucky to have each other, and a family that never stopped loving us.
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JC

JC, age 17
Sierra Nevada, California (1979)

"I Was a Teenage Drag King"

Once, I wanted to "be a boy," but had mostly made peace with my female gender. But puberty was AGONY! When I discovered my dad's Army uniforms in storage, I was fascinated by men's formal clothing. While children's clothing had become more unisex, I was interested (as kids are) in the gendered male clothing of adults.

At a costume event, how I could not dandy up as a turn-of-the-Century drag king when I looked so good at it!

I was particularly proud of how I tucked my long hair up in the hat, for a nice profile. Alhough the handlebar mustache may be a bit over-the-top.

My interest only grew, as I was supposed to be differentiating into a "woman." Back then, I kept getting crushes on dead movie idols, like Tyrone Power. My delayed libido couldn't comprehend that I didn't want to do them, I wanted to be them.



At this age, I worked as a summer camp counselor. I'd been bullied in camp before: some girls read me, calling me "lezzie" and "lesbo" there. As a counselor,
I helped (as best I could) a boy struggling with his own orientation, though I was still in deep denial about my own! I'm "gynesexual" - attracted to women, whether I'm considered a lesbian female, or a straight dude.

What's most important about this photo, is how genuinely happy I am here. I look like me. That didn't happen again for too many years. Now, I'm content with my genderqueer self. I don't have to be either/or - I can be BOTH! And that's great!

So for the kids today, I say don't be forced into those "M or F, Pick One" boxes.
You're fine the way you are. Make the question and the forms change!
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Taylor

Taylor, age 4
Denton, Texas (1991)

When I was a young girl, I always wanted to have short hair and wear boys' clothes. I hated girl clothes, because they were too bright and sparkly. I didn't want to be sparkly, I wanted to play with cars, trucks, G.I. Joe, and Nintendo.

But when Christmas and birthdays rolled around, I
was always bought dolls and Barbies - because I was a girl, and those were "girl" toys.

I soon got my revenge by cutting off the dolls' hair, so it was short like mine. And I would have my girl Barbies marry each other.

High school was tough because of ignorant idiots, and my raging hormones going nuts around every woman.

But after years of depression and self hatred and a couple of suicide attempts, I've learned that I am a wonderful, loving, caring person. When I came out at age 20, it was more like, "Yeah we knew. We were just waiting for you to tell us."
My mom had a tougher time accepting it, but she loves me because I'm her baby and she wants me to be happy.

And I know that life gets better! I've met so many wonderful people who have become friends, family, and lovers. They all support and accept me for who I am, and I know that I will continue to meet those wonderful people to my dying day.

Today, my hair is still short, and I simply write off the people who are ignorant and hateful towards me. And a lot has changed since I posted my story here: I have come out as a transgender man and I'm in the process of starting the physical change.

I don't regret identifying as lesbian because it helped me be strong in coming out as trans. And to all the LGBTQ kids reading this:

Know that you are loved and wanted.

Taylor's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Alicia Silverstone & Jessica Rabbit
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Alexa

Alexa, age 10
Los Angeles, California (1991)

I always was the biggest tomboy growing up. Whether it was a skateboard in hand or basketball, I spent most of my childhood heavily involved in sports or things considered "boys" hobbies. The thing I remember most was that I always had guy friends, and only ONE girl friend. But this girl was the ultimate girl. She had long blonde hair, played with Barbies, and was everything I was not. This was always interesting to my parents, as I never really changed as I got older.

I ended up at an all-girls school, with even less male friends. But I would always have that one really girlie best friend who meant the world to me, even if she just watched me play all my "boy" games. I now realize that maybe it was more than a friendship for me, even if I didn't understand what it all meant. Fortunately, I was never bullied or teased growing up, which I guess makes me blessed.

Years later, my "coming out" to my parents as a junior in college proved to be the hardest time in my life. It's been almost 7 years since then, and my parents have done a 180 and they could not be more supportive. That hard time somehow brought us closer, and my mother is now helping plan my upcoming wedding.

I now work as a creative music video producer for Interscope Records. And I'll be marrying Sam - my partner and best "girlie" friend of 3 years - this December. And we hope to have a beautiful family filled with love and freedom one day.

The message I would give to any LGBTQ kid is:
Always believe in yourself and be who you are. I honestly believe the main reason I was never bullied as a kid, is because I was never scared of who I was, or felt that I was different. I just projected how I felt and did what I wanted to do - without caring about what other people thought about me!

The memories I have of my tomboy ways will forever remain true.
And note the "Transformer" on the skateboard. It was cool then and still is now!:)

Alexa's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Sally Field (as "Gidget")
I thought she was the coolest chick on the beach, and I wanted to be her!

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Sarah

Sarah, age 4
Tuscon, Arizona (1979)

For this kindergarten photo, I told the photographer I wanted a "serious picture." But the more he tried to make me smile, the more serious I got. And I do NOT like this dress. I wanted to wear my fireman's hat, which I was usually allowed to do, as my parents weren't really invested in any particular gender expression.

I love this picture because of its emotional honesty: I'm not smiling because I don't feel like smiling. And no one was going to push me into feeling or doing something I don't want.

While this is harder to accomplish as an adult, it's always my goal.

At this age, I knew I was a little different, and had a nascent crush on my kindergarten teacher. But I didn't yet have the words for it.

I went on to be viciously bullied in middle school, and I hope those kids are all in jail now.

Today, I have a loving partner and a diverse group of friends, and I became a writer and a teacher.

Bigoted speech -- especially the phrase "That's so gay" -- is forbidden in my classroom. Consequences are swift and severe, if I hear it.

My message to LGBTQ youth is:
Respect yourself! And do not "ignore" the bullying, because it doesn't work.
It only makes you more vulnerable; more victimized.

Bullies can tell when you're "ignoring" them, and it makes them want to do whatever they can to make you crack. The onus for stopping bullying is NOT on you -- it's on the bully, as well as the adults in charge.

You must keep talking, keep complaining, and keep demanding that something
be done - UNTIL SOMETHING IS DONE. Look your principal in the eye, and be sure to mention Jamie Nabozny - who won a huge federal lawsuit against his school administrators for failing to stop anti-gay harassment.

Lastly, keep saving your money...
There are buses leaving every day for other cities, and you can be on them!

Sarah's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Karen Carpenter (singer, The Carpenters)

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Darcy

Darcy, age 3
New Philadelphia, Ohio (1987)

As a kid, I was a little odd. I liked girly things to an extent. I was okay with dresses, but not jewelry. I liked dolls, but I preferred crafty creative endeavors more. I guess it was kind of telling that when playing with Barbie dolls, I always had two Barbies living together, with no Ken around. Ken was just not interesting or necessary to me.

I loved Punky Brewster. She was
one of my early role models/loves. The Spice Girls were a major obsession, too. I had a new favorite member every few weeks.

And Gwen Stefani in the No Doubt days was the love of my life.

All these fierce women plastered my bedroom walls in high school.

Sadly, I got teased pretty badly in high school. I was called a slut, a dyke, a freak.

I cut off all my hair in 10th grade, and wore crazy thrift store clothes.

That probably didn't help much, but
I liked looking that way.

I always kissed girls but dated guys, and I tried really hard to make those relationships work.

I thought there was something wrong with me, as I was so unhappy. I spent years in therapy and on medication, thinking I was somehow essentially broken and would never find that spark of joy in my life. I drank heavily and used drugs and hated myself.

Finally, now, at age 27, I have the most amazing, beautiful girlfriend I could ever ask for. I finally feel like the missing piece has been found.

I also learned there was never anything wrong with me. I was just trying to fit into a place that wasn't meant for me. I don’t know what my future holds, but I finally found happiness. And I know I'm just fine exactly the way I am.

Darcy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Soleil Moon Frye (as "Punky Brewster")
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Nikki

Nikki, age 7
Wheeling, W. Virginia (1979)

I grew up in a Catholic household in West Virginia. I attended Catholic school for 12 years and never heard anyone talk about being gay until I was in high school. Of course, when I did hear these comments, they were not positive.

I think that I always knew that I was different than the other girls in my neighborhood and school. At that time, I had short hair and was into sports, more than any of my friends.

I resisted wearing dresses or anything girly. I spent my time hanging out with the boys in the neighborhood, playing tackle football, instead of playing house with the girls.

I remember once, right around age 7, telling one of my friends in the neighborhood that I was really a boy, but that we just told people that I was a girl.

I remember that the one thing she said was, "But then you won't be able to have babies!" I didn't really care about having babies, so I just shrugged my shoulders. But she was really upset about it.

She told her mom what I had told her. Her mom, of course, told my mom and
I got in trouble for lying. Looking back now, I know that I didn't really want to
be a boy. What I wanted was what boys could have: relationships with girls.

Today, I am completely out to my family and they have been very supportive.
I am also out at work and have some great, supportive co-workers.

What I would tell the youth of today, is to find people who will support you and
let you be yourself. Life is amazing when you can finally be yourself!

Nikki's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Nancy McKeon (Jo on "The Facts of Life")
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Denise

Denise, age 5
Chicago, Illinois (1963)

I would have thought that being thrown out of the Girl Scouts when I was 8 -
for being caught in my sleeping bag with one of my female camp counselors - would have tipped someone off!

Like many before me, I knew early on I was "different" but so afraid to name it.
I didn't want to be a disappointment to my parents and family. Growing up in a large Italian family was tough enough.

Being a lesbian would have destroyed them. Or so I thought. Of course, like most Italian families, we didn't dare talk about such things!

I tried to be correct in my clothes choices and my dating, etc. Although always in sports (clue #2), I pretty much stuck to myself except for the occasional date with a guy to keep my family happy.

I eventually met a nice man named James.
And he put up with a lot from me.

James and I married, and I struggled the entire marriage to make it feel "right." And I wanted to be "normal" in the worst way. We finally divorced and went our separate ways when I met a woman at work, who turned my world upside down.

I officially came out to my family then. And guess what? They weren't surprised!
I was prepared for drama that never came; only love for me through my journey.

I eventually met my current partner in 1983. And we have been friends, lovers, and partners in life ever since. We have 2 beautiful teenage sons, own our own businesses, and a home in Denver, CO. And although our state doesn’t recognize our relationship, all the people that matter and mean the most to us, do.

One day, hopefully soon, we may be able to get legally married.
So my message is this: It does get better. Stay true to you.
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Noelle

Noelle, age 4
St. Charles, Missouri (1987)

I think that I realized that I was different at a fairly young age. I grew up a "tomboy" that used to melt my sisters' Barbie dolls in the microwave. I loved to play outside and was always in overalls and my saddle shoes.

One of the last times I wore a dress was at an 8th grade dance. I hated dresses and skirts back then. I still do.

Jeans, t-shirts, or a button-down with a tie is about all you'll catch me wearing as an adult.

I didn't actually come out until just a few years ago, when I was 24. Despite having a more than supportive family, for the longest time I kept telling myself that it wasn't true I was gay.

I even thought that the kind of music
I listened to, (primarily heavy rock) would prove that I couldn't be gay.

Not because of fear of not being accepted, but more so that I thought it would make my life difficult. Boy, was I wrong...

Now that I am out, I couldn't be happier about it. I'm very proud of who I am and want younger people to know that things DO GET BETTER.
I was very fortunate to have such an accepting family and amazing friends.

Not everyone is as fortunate. But I know that those people wouldn't change who they are for the world. And if their families don't accept them, then they create their own with the loving people around them. "Family" doesn't necessarily mean blood-related.

The world is changing and people are slowly evolving.
Hang in there and ALWAYS be yourself. Besides, everyone else is taken!

Noelle's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Jamie Lee Curtis (in "True Lies")
Joyce Hyser (in "Just One of the Guys")
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Kellie

Kellie, age 4
Ector, TX (1973)

When I was little, I often wondered how long it would be until I was big enough to drive that tractor. That day I was obviously too little, so I played on it and sang "Delta Dawn" by Helen Reddy. I don't remember doing it, but I know that is the song, because my lovely mother noted it on the back of the picture.

When I was in 2nd grade my teacher called my parents in and told them she thought I was gay. I suppose I was posturing in a way that was too masculine for her liking. I never knew of this accusation, or even what "gay" was at that time. But when I came out in my mid 20's, my mother told me about it.

I had frequent crushes on girls - sometimes my best friend, but not always - mainly starting in high school. I had 3 different boyfriends then and into college, but they just served the purpose of someone to go to events and dances with.

I kept my sexuality under tight wraps until I was in graduate school. The only hard part about coming out was watching my parents cry. And cry, they did.
But they came around a few months later.

Today, I am a completely out gay in a smallish town in Texas. I've been called a dyke on a few dozen occasions. "That's Dr. Dyke to you," I respond, with a smile. I love being gay, and I can't begin to imagine being any other way.

When I look at this photo now, I think about how big that tractor seemed to me back then. As a grown-up, on occasion, I drive much bigger tractors than this.

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Brooke

Brooke, age 12
Cottonwood, CA (1994)

I grew up in a small town in N. California. I first knew I was different at age 6, when I told someone on the school bus that I wished I was a boy. I also vaguely remember having a moment then, when I learned what being gay meant. And I wondered if I was, despite not having feelings of attraction towards either gender.

Wait, I think I take that back...

In hindsight, I'm pretty sure buying my 2nd grade teacher's aide a massive cubic zirconium ring was an attempt to woo her.

It didn't work, but she was outta my league anyway. And I did have other crushes, too: My 4th grade teacher - *swoon* - and a summer camp counselor.

I've always been a major "tomboy" and I've always prided myself on my athleticism.

I started playing basketball at the age of 8, and was the only girl on the team. Although, my coach thought he had an all boy team.

I have very early memories of people always confusing my gender with male, even before I cut my hair. While on the inside I felt that my short hair was what I wanted, I was still uncomfortable with people's reactions to my appearance.

Thankfully, I've finally grown into my skin. I feel comfortable with who I am, despite others being confused by my masculine appearance.

Today, I'm grateful for a loving family that only cares about my happiness, and who have been very supportive throughout my coming out process. I couldn't be happier with where I am in life, including marrying my fiance' this fall.

Brooke's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Helen Hunt (on "Highway To Heaven")
Susan Sarandon (in "The Client")
I envied that boy, and I wanted her to be my lawyer
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Beverly

Beverly, age 9
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (1970)

That's me on the left with my niece Denise, playing our favorite game of "house," which we called “Billy." Of course, I was ALWAYS Billy - the protector and the adventurer. As long as I can remember, I enjoyed dressing up, and pretending to be someone other than myself.

I was equally comfortable pretending to be a rock 'n roll singer in a band, or donning a costume as a bit part in a dinner-theater type show.

I was raised as an only child and was very involved in theater. I felt most comfortable and happy around actors, although my parents were very leery, referring to many of them as "queer."

Although I knew perfectly well what they meant, I never let on, as I was afraid they wouldn't let me associate with them.


As a heavy child, I was called a "lezzy" well before I even knew what it meant. While I suppose I always knew I was attracted to women at some level, I felt I had to act or dress up like a boy (and PRETEND to be a boy) to get away with it.

While I look fairly butch here, I later preferred being rather androgynous. And I ended up being a very late bloomer, not coming out until I was in grad school.

I refer to that realization as my Technicolor moment, like when Dorothy opens up the door to Oz to find her drab black and white world has become full of color.

Today, my partner and I have 6 adopted children.

And our kids have no problems having two "mommies." As a matter of fact, my youngest asked me to accompany her to a father-daughter dance recently, and I even got to wear a dress!

Beverly's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Jennifer Beals (in "Flashdance")
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