Matthew

Matthew, age 3
Virginia Beach, VA (1992)

As a kid, I fondly remember the memories I have of playing with my Barbies.
I loved girly things, and I was always carrying my dolls around with me in my big pink Barbie suitcase. And my first love was the Black Power Ranger.

I didnt realize I was different until 4th grade, when a boy called me gay. And he stole my innocence that day.

I didn't like myself from then on, well until I was around age 16.

If there is one thing I could tell myself back then, and other young gay kids now, it is this:

Love yourself, and be who ever you want to be. Because until you love yourself, how can you expect anyone to love you back? It's hard, but dry those tears - it does get better.

One day you to will find someone who loves you exactly as you are.

Looking back on this photo, I'm proud. I'm proud I wasn't afraid to express my love for beautiful things, just as I'm not afraid to express it now.

I am me, myself, and I - and I was born this way after all.

Now, I'm in my 20's and I'm engaged to marry my partner.
And he's my personal Power Ranger now! :)

Matthew's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Walter Jones (the first "Black Power Ranger")
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Robert

* Blogmaster's Note *
Robert is the guy who wowed us all with his Madonna "Vogue" video.
And I am thrilled to present you his "Born This Way" story. Enjoy!
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Robert, age 10
Boston, Massachusetts (1992)

This is a photo of me, my sister Jennifer, and our dogs Frisky and Chloe.
It's especially significant to me as they were born the summer I did my "Vogue" video, and their birth truly completed "our family."

Not long before I discovered Bette Davis, Diana Ross, and Madonna, I spent hours adoring Donna Summer, Laura Branigan, and the "Solid Gold" dancers.

My lone male idol as a toddler made me feel different from how I felt watching my many beloved female idols. It was Michael Jackson, who was not only my idol, he was my Prince Charming.

What I consider my "defining homosexual moment" occurred around age 4, while watching a TV special hosted by Shari Lewis. During a musical number, one of the male performers onstage happened to be gorgeous, muscular, and clad only in a loin cloth and fez. And my body tingled in a way I couldn't understand.

I had no idea why the sight gave me a feeling so utterly lovely, but the awareness was palpable enough that I have never forgotten it.

I barely knew what homosexuality was when I performed to "Vogue" at age 9.
Back then, I was precocious, but innocent: carefree, unaware, and having a blast.


People ask if my parents knew I was gay then, but they didn't know for years.
Their love for my sister and I was unconditional and overflowing. Physical safety and emotional well-being was their only concern for "how we would turn out" when we moved from childhood to adulthood.

My mother put her emphasis on honesty, while my father relentlessly instilled tolerance. Self-expression was never stifled. Whether I mimicked male or female idols was never an issue: they loved me, my uniqueness, and my ability to not try to fit an image.

I had no idea how lucky I was. I thought my upbringing was "normal."
And I hope that society is moving towards proving my inner child right.

My message to youth now is:
FEEL the power of being yourself!

Your REAL family will love YOU for who YOU are. If your biological family does not, then your REAL family has yet to be discovered.

There IS a world of love that awaits beyond the pain of growing up in a heterosexist society, so allow yourself to be excited for what lay ahead.
So please - don't give up!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Steven

Steven, age 4
Carlsbad, California (1969)

I was born in Oklahoma. My mom was 2nd generation Sicilian and my dad was from Missouri. My sister remembers this as her baton-twirling costume. I don't remember wearing it, but I'm sure my mom thought it was harmless and funny.

I remember as early as this age, that
I loved feminine things, art, and playing "doctor" with my cute neighbors. I guess I was very curious and cute myself, because I remember older boys flirting with me.

I was in chorus and the band, like many of us back then. But I also remember being the only boy to choose
"disco class" over football in Jr. High.

And, my mother said my father "always knew."

As a young teen, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" played at the local theater. I went done up as Frank N. Furter and dethroned the person playing him. I realized that if I was performing, I was more powerful.
I was always misstaken for older, because my makeup was so fabulous.

Then the 80's arrived, and I soon discovered Hollywood and other out-of-the-closet gay teens. The Odyssey club in West Hollywood was an under-18 disco,
and I had my first gay kiss there. My look was compared to Marc Almond from
Soft Cell. We all loved Boy George and the freedom to cross gender barriers.
 

In 1985 I moved to New York City and quickly became part of the night life.
Drag culture had taken over Manhattan night clubs, so I added tits to my new romantic looks, and eventually morphed into a drag queen.

Within a year, I was hired by Patricia Field as a stylist. I also won a drag contest at The Boy Bar club, as Miss Perfidia 1986. I lived with established drag performers who trained me well, and I took my show all over the world .

My crowning achievement as a drag performer is seen in "Wigstock: The Movie," which really showcased NYC as it was back then. My Perfidia's Wig World shop is featured in the movie, as well as my performance.

My interest and talent with wigs eventually lead to Broadway. My designs were seen in "The Pee Wee Herman" show on Broadway for HBO and I was also responsible for the wigs seen in the cult TV classic, "Strangers With Candy."

Most currently, I am styling for "Hedwig On Broadway."

Good times!
xo Steven / Miss Perfidia
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Beverly

Beverly, age 9
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (1970)

That's me on the left with my niece Denise, playing our favorite game of "house," which we called “Billy." Of course, I was ALWAYS Billy - the protector and the adventurer. As long as I can remember, I enjoyed dressing up, and pretending to be someone other than myself.

I was equally comfortable pretending to be a rock 'n roll singer in a band, or donning a costume as a bit part in a dinner-theater type show.

I was raised as an only child and was very involved in theater. I felt most comfortable and happy around actors, although my parents were very leery, referring to many of them as "queer."

Although I knew perfectly well what they meant, I never let on, as I was afraid they wouldn't let me associate with them.


As a heavy child, I was called a "lezzy" well before I even knew what it meant. While I suppose I always knew I was attracted to women at some level, I felt I had to act or dress up like a boy (and PRETEND to be a boy) to get away with it.

While I look fairly butch here, I later preferred being rather androgynous. And I ended up being a very late bloomer, not coming out until I was in grad school.

I refer to that realization as my Technicolor moment, like when Dorothy opens up the door to Oz to find her drab black and white world has become full of color.

Today, my partner and I have 6 adopted children.

And our kids have no problems having two "mommies." As a matter of fact, my youngest asked me to accompany her to a father-daughter dance recently, and I even got to wear a dress!

Beverly's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Jennifer Beals (in "Flashdance")
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Joshua

Joshua, age 12
Los Angeles, California (1995)

My childhood was a bumpy one. I was raised in Los Angeles by a single mother, who it turned out was suffering from Multiple Personality Disorder. Sadly, it was not as entertaining as "United States of Tara" is each week.

I knew I was different at the age of 10. Back then, I had intense crushes on all of my best friends growing up.

I bounced around between foster homes and group homes from age 10 to 15. I came out at 15, and it was the best decision I have ever made.

My best friend then knew I was in love with him, and was OK with that as long as I didn't 'try anything funny'.

And actually, after coming out, everyone was so kind and loving.

I'm now a professional ballet dancer, and I've been partnered with my husband and best friend for 7 years.


I'm going to grad school in the fall, and I'm making a documentary following a group LGBT kids in their early teens, to give voice to a younger demographic of kids experienceing this. If you'd like to participate, you can contact me HERE.

I love being gay, and I wouldn't want to be any other way. I hope my film helps kids come to that place in life a lot sooner than I did.

Things do GET better, but they'll also be better NOW if we do something about it. Someday, being young and gay will be as taboo as being young and short, or having freckles. And I want to make that day come soon.

Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Daniel

Daniel, age 5
Quincy, IL (1959)

When I was small, my family fished every weekend on the Mississippi river.
We'd use bamboo poles and earthworms and fish off my dad's home made boat.
We would fry the fish we caught for Saturday night supper.

I don't remember much from back then.
I know the facts, but they don't seem like they happened to me. I do remember not feeling different, I just always liked boys.

But I didn't like a lot of things boys did - sports, rough and tumble, competition. Fishing, yes. But I was also a bookworm, and liked growing flowers. I loved "Davey Crockett" on TV, and I had a coon-skin cap.

My parents loved me, but they didn't want me to be gay. I was bullied a lot, and I had a secret route that I walked home from school, to avoid the bullies. Growing up, the only thing I wanted to do was to leave town.

And I did.

My message to LGBTQ kids now is:
If people mistreat you, it means there's something wrong with them, not you.
It really does get better and better.

Daniel's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Greg Morris (on "Mission Impossible")
I think I became a tech geek partly because of him.
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

Betty

Betty, age 7
Berkeley, California (1989)

My 1st clue that I was gay occurred before I was even born. My mother thought it would be an excellent idea to name me "Billie" i.e. after Billie Holiday. As a tomboy growing up, and later as an androgynous-variety lesbian often hit on by gay men, I find it hilarious that I very easily could have been named Billie.

I mean, how much more confusing would that have been when asked the dreaded "Are you a boy or a girl?" question?

That was often flung at me at recess.

Later in my life, it was the gay guys who'd ask me, "Hey there cutie, what's your name?"

The 2nd clue that I was born gay can be seen in Exhibit A:
This photo of me showing off my guns in my Little League uniform.

I loved sports, was on every team imaginable, and was often the only girl on the team. Especially SOFTBALL and BASKETBALL. Yes, I wrote those in all caps, because they are - after you include GOLF - the most lesbian of sports possible.

The 3rd and most compelling clue of my innate lesbianism, is that when I picture my future, I see two brides walking down the aisle. And later, having my own children whose first words are "mama" and "mommy."

And you know what? I feel extremely grateful that in a world that may sometimes frown on this particular version of a happily ever after, I can live each day feeling proud of who I am.

Yup, I am excited about my super awesome lesbian future.

Betty's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Geena Davis (in "A League Of Their Own")
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"

David

David, age 9
Longview, TX (1978)

"Grease" was the word back then, and I was no exception. Seeing John Travolta on the big screen gave me a funny feeling in my nether regions. And I knew then that something was different from the other boys who had the same reaction, except over Olivia Newton-John.

I believe I wore this T-shirt out.
It basically fell apart, and still I fought my mom to keep it.

The music of the day was, yes, disco, and I loved it: "Knock On Wood,"
"Le Freak," "Heart of Glass" etc.

I even had my very own polyester Hustle suit, performing "Do The Hustle" to anyone who'd watch.

It's no wonder I was picked on, since
I would wear my suit to school and dance The Hustle there as well.


Growing up in a small town isn't unique. Yet I felt the brunt of being different more, because I'd been molested during this time. In this photo, I see the David who trusted everyone. And a boy with deep sadness behind those smiling eyes.

My experiences as a young gay boy in a small - and small-minded - town were typical: extreme bullying from both boys and girls. Now that I can look back,
I still see the looks on the faces of those who were fearful of what I represented.

But now, I also see the fear in their eyes. They're the product of parents who were ignorant, and it trickled down to their children.

Life has been kind to me through the years, so I can, with ease, forgive those trespasses against me. And I am more able to love and receive love, because of the tough experiences that I thought would never to end.

But they most certainly do end, and life gets so much more rich as one matures.
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Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"