Glen

Glen, age 11

El Paso, TX (1981)

I remember as a kid that I was different from other boys. But I did not know what the word "gay" meant. Once I turned 13, I understood why I felt the way I did, as far back as age 5. It was a challenging time to come out, and the news of a "gay disease" was at its peak.

My parents would not understand at all, stating:
"They should take all the gays and people who are infected with HIV and drop them on a secluded island."

That was devastating to me.

I left home at a young age, joined the military, got married, and had kids. But it didn't work; I knew I was different.

I "came out" at 26 to a still very non-supporting family. My parents did not stand by me and disowned me.

I realized that if they didn't accept me, I had to be happy and be myself. And I'm okay with that, because I found myself. I love expressing myself through music, and know that I was born this way.

Thanks for creating such a wonderful blog.
I hope it inspires many to be true to themselves.

Lori

Lori, age 9

Alexandria, Virginia (1976)

"Trick or treat"

I remember wanting to wear my brother's suits very badly when I was young.

Here, I creatively did this Mr. Bicentennial costume so that I could dress in a boy's suit for Halloween. I really felt like I was getting away with something.

I knew that I was different early in life. But it took until I was 23 to put those feeling into words, first to myself and then to let others know. I look at this picture now, and just laugh knowing exactly why my mother said "Yeah, I know" when I finally came out to her.

Even though she did know, she was still forever hoping that it would be a phase.
It took until my partner and I had children before she truly accepted my sexuality in a way that felt real.

I did not have many bad experiences with family or friends once I finally came out. Prior to coming out, I would often be around friends or family that made demeaning remarks about gay people. And it always made me feel bad.

Once I came out, I think it helped some of those individuals open their eyes to the fact that gay people are everywhere. And that we are not something to fear.

The message I would like to give gay kids now is:

No matter how difficult your situation is in your family, in your town, or in your school there are people to connect with that will help you through this. The most important step that you need to take is to let the words out to someone you trust.

Holding in those words about your truth is often what hurts the most.

Lori's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Kristy McNichol

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Chuck

Chuck, age 3

Portage, IN (1981)

I always preferred to play with the girls in the neighborhood. And had crushes on the boys in the neighborhood, unbeknownst to them.

When my family had gatherings at major holidays, I always wanted to sit in the kitchen with the women, instead of out in the living room watching football with the guys.

My favorite Care Bear was "Cheer Bear" - the pink one with the rainbow on its belly.

I wanted to be (and was!) Wonder Woman for Halloween one year.

I didn't realize it then, but I think about it all now and can't help but laugh.

I also say to myself:
Anybody who thinks I wasn’t born this way, clearly hasn’t done their homework. ;)

Chuck's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Danny Pintauro (Jonathan on "Who's The Boss")

Even then I had good gaydar!

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Kevin

Kevin, age 4

Akron, Ohio (1959)

Here, my older sisters dressed me up in their clothes, put me up front, and my dad took this picture. Looking back, a couple of things strike me about it. First, sisters are probably always wanting to dress up something or someone, like dolls or brothers, but most 3-year-old boys wouldn't allow it. Second, I struck a pose that gives it all away. I'm thankful my dad found the camera and actually took the picture, without protesting or objecting.

And notice my sisters weren't dressed nearly as pretty as I was!


I first knew I was "different" at 3-years old. I have a vivid memory of being in the back of my dad's '55 Buick station wagon, and seeing a really old man sitting on the ground in front of a building in downtown Akron, Ohio.

For some reason, I knew he had something I lacked, and I wanted it from him before he died. Turns out, that something I was missing was heterosexuality. That's a big word for a small kid, and I'm not saying that I knew exactly what was going on at that moment. But I do know that I felt different than my dad, brothers, or other men in general.

It was a sad moment for me, but it was the beginning of my knowing and understanding myself. I always knew down deep that I was different or gay, but I finally came out to myself and others at age 25.

And now, my life is good. I have a partner of 7 years, and 2 sons I adopted as infants, who are now 12 and 10 years old. I am out at work and everywhere I go. I don't believe in the closet - it's too stressful.

If others don't like me because I am gay, that's their problem. I already went through the self-acceptance process long ago -- starting with this picture of me in a dress!!!

Kevin's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Don Grady (Robbie on "My Three Sons")

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Jack

Jack, age 12

Pauls Valley, Oklahoma (1987)

This photo is more about my mom than about me. As you can see, I was an aspiring decorator in my mother's classroom at age 12. I loved any holiday, and we had decorations for all of them, but Christmas took the cake.

As a teacher's kid, hanging out at the school after hours, but before everyone went home, was a magic time.

Only other teachers' kids would truly understand the power of feeling like you OWNED the building.

I have such a clear memory of the day this picture was taken.

I BEGGED my mom to let me decorate her room for the holiday, and of course, she let me. Why I chose to wrap myself up in all this  tinsel like the love child of Lady Gaga and Jayne Mansfield, I don't know.

I remember performing a little dance around the room to some bad 80's music, for all of the other teachers' kids. Getting other people to laugh was a constant coping mechanism for me, and I remember consciously thinking to myself:
"They can't hit you if they're laughing - even if it's AT you."

My mom came in the room to witness the scene, thought it was hilarious as always, grabbed her camera, and took a picture. She always pushed me to try new things, but never deterred me from being myself, which may have included a (very, very short) stint as a local fashion model at age 13.

Now as a happy gay man in my early 30's I can't tell you how lucky I was to have a mom that just loved me, for all I brought to the table. Even in Oklahoma.

As much as middle or high school can totally suck, the message I can leave with those reading this small snippet of my life is:

Love yourself in the now, and for all that you bring to the table.

A testament to that is I can now OWN this picture, and love me for who I have always been. Though I am a bit ashamed of the ugly cable knit sweater...
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
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Ronnie

Ronnie, age 10
Charleston, S. Carolina (1980)

As a 10-year-old boy living in Charleston, South Carolina, I liked designing mazes, which accounts for the pen in my hand in this photo. My shirt bears the likeness of Spock from "Star Trek," my favorite TV show.

This was snapped on my requested Polaroid instant camera I got for Christmas. Each photo cost two dollars, my entire allowance at the time, so I rationed each one like a miser. I usually shot our family, and this is a rare picture of me, taken by my brother.

It was a different era in the 1970's. My parents told me homosexuality was sick, and so I thought myself sick. I suffered from depression, guilt, and all the usual head trips. But our attitudes changed over time. Now, we all believe differently.

I have always been gay, as far back as I can remember. But I didn't realize what it meant until my late teens. I was naive about sexuality, even while being quite precocious. I experimented without being fully aware of the implications.

I compartmentalized the issue of sexuality with the expectation that I would change later, and that it would not be a life-long thing.

At 13, I fell in love with my best friend, but he did not return the favor. It seemed like I fell in love with several of my friends. I think that is sometimes a rite of passage for gay kids: to fall in love and be rejected.

I came out to my parents as bisexual at the age 18. They were supportive, but had fears and doubts at first. I eventually found a partner, and we have been very happy together for the past 14 years.

To young gays, I would say that life definitely gets better, particularly if one finds the right person to live with. Someone trustworthy, honest, kind, and considerate.

Sarah

Sarah, age 10

Brooklyn, WA (1996)

I'm on the left in the pic. I didn't really think of myself as being different growing up, since I aspired to be just like my brothers. I remember just wanting to be one of the boys since the beginning.

My mom used to joke about me always dressing like my brothers, often calling us her three sons.

I know my father was often lectured by his conservative Latino family for allowing me to wear boy's clothing.

However, my parents always allowed me to create my own identity.

And I am now living out and proud with the support of both my mom and dad.

Sarah's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jennifer Connelly (in "Labyrinth")

I was 5 at the time. But I've had a thing for brunettes ever since :D
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Charles

Charles, age 4
Arlington, MA (1954)

Well, here I am, 4-years old and holding on to my neighbor and best friend. Discovery was key to our relationship. Catholicism might have kept me distant from the inevitable, but the hunger was real...

Later, with my "new boyfriend" I was deliciously tormented while trying to hide my delicate naked self.

It was while changing from my swimwear into street clothes, one hot summer day at the reservoir. Oh how my neighbor BFF went crazy over that!

But I wanted to be seen, and be shared. And anything else that might have helped all this pent up, 4-year-old frustration.

"I can see your pecker!" he cried.
All this while chasing me around a lifeboat in the changing area. Sigh

And damn, I'm pushing some major basket in this shot!

Ryan

Ryan, age 4

Taree, NSW, Australia (1987)

I was born in a small country town, and can remember dressing up on every occasion possible. I couldn't conceive why my boy neighbors never wanted to join in. But here I am, on the far left with my neighbors Mat & Katherine.



I don't remember when I 'realized' I was gay, but I always felt conflicted. I was about 10 when the boys on my street found a dirty magazine. I remember launching into a diatribe about how female parts were boring and all looked the same. And that male parts were much more interesting, because they were all different. But I had no idea what this would all mean in the future.

I recall being attracted to boys and teachers in my class around the same age. But even without any physical contact, I had my heart broken while dating girls until I was 18. It never stopped me being referred to as a f*ggot, or being picked on by the guys at school. I decided that I didn't want to be a f*ggot, and I would do everything in my power to deny it.

My coming out was rather backward. I rebelled and left home at 15 and was hanging out in gay bars as part of my 'double life.'  My mother asked on a visit if 'All of my friends thought that she knew I was gay'. I told her she was being preposterous, and couldn't possibly know what she was talking about.

Well, she also told me that my 'uncle' from a photo we had was not one of my aunt's ex-husbands, but rather her best gay friend. And, that the lady who babysat me as a child in Sydney? Well, she wasn't actually a lady...

I never gave my parents enough credit, and drove a wedge of between us, based mostly on my shame. In school, my sister hated me for being her f*ggot brother, and my stoic father was confronted by my flamboyance. He was convinced gay men were out to get me.

Despite the photo, I consider myself to be an athletic and masculine gay man. And I now have the love and support of my family behind me.

Ryan's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Dean Cain

Mark

Mark, age 4
Adrian, Missouri (1964)

Childhood memories consist of playing Barbies with the girl across the street, making dresses for my favorite teddybear, and dressing in my grandmother's evening gown. Oh, and sipping champagne (7-UP) from stemware. I did "boy" things too, but these are the things that I remember most.

"Here I am in my pink jeep that I received for Christmas that year. 

Really? Was there any hope for me after that?"

It must have been around the 6th grade I realized that I was attracted to men, but I didn't think much about it. Then, during a band competition during High School, a guy from a neighboring school slipped me a note saying I was cute, and he wanted to meet up with me. But I never did, because I was too embarrassed. But, it did make me realize there were others like me.

College brought on the first boyfriend and everything that goes along with it.
And wow! All I can say is that it just felt natural and good.

Later, after seeing many friends disowned by their family for being gay, I came to realize just how lucky I was. I have a family that loves and accepts not only me, but my partner(s) too. I know it hasn't been easy for them, but I appreciate their love and support.

Currently, my partner Todd and I just recently celebrated our 10th Anniversary, surrounded by both of our families and many friends. And life is good!

I never had to hide who I was to get through life, and my message to others is:

Always surround yourself with those that love and respect you, so that you can let your true self shine through. Everyone has something to offer, and nobody should have to be someone they're not, just to survive in this world.

Mark's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Mark Goddard (Lt. West on "Lost In Space")
Robert Conrad (in "The Wild Wild West")
I fondly remember a lot of "crotch watching" of their tight costume pants.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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