David, age 3
Fresno, California (1977)
I think I knew I was "different" around age 4. I liked being around the girls in school more than the boys. As I got older, I would be teased and called "f*g" and "sissy." I didn't know what that meant, but I knew it didn't make me feel good.
When I finally did discover the meaning of those words, I tried to deny it. But my love of Chinese jump rope and my Smurfs lunch box gave me away. Also, I had a strange fascination with Tom Selleck and Lee Horsley, and their hairy chests.
As I got older, I'd spend my free time in my bedroom with a t-shirt on my head and lip-synch in my mirror to Cyndi Lauper and Madonna songs.
Occasionally, I'd throw on a pair of my mom's pantyhose and strut around the house.
My mom would laugh and say,
"You sure would make a good girl!"
Now as an adult, I'm almost 37-years old. I've been with my husband Richard for 18 years, and we have a good life. Mom lives with us now, and I ran across this picture while digging around in her closet. My grandmother was the one who took me to this photo session. In fact, she's the one who styled me and picked out the "Mary Had A Little Lamb" book I'm holding.
I look at this picture now, and I can see the beginnings of the man I am today.
I live my life openly and freely and I am blessed to have family and friends that accept all of me. Especially the "little girl" that still exists in this photo.
_______________________________________________
Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'
Tweet
September 19, 2011
September 12, 2011
Aiden
Aiden, age 11
Springfield, Illinois (1997)
It's hard to believe that the child in this picture was born a girl named Annie.
Because even as a child, I was rather androgynous looking. It wasn't until I hit puberty and began to grow breasts, that I began to look a bit more feminine.
Now I am 25, and I consider myself an FTM transgender. Sometimes I wonder if I am
Bi-gender, though. I look back and I'm surprised I didn't realize it earlier.
There are a few memories that speak out to me as I look back.
First was in middle school when I cut my hair really short. And all the kids called me Andy. I didn't mind it, and I didn't even bother correcting them. But they began to call me "G.I. Jane," and that's when I got mad.
I once read an article about transgenderism, when I was 14. I remember thinking for a split second "Hmm, that sounds familiar." But I didn't really give it a second thought until many years later. At the time, I wrote my feelings off as just being a masculine girl. But now, I know that was incorrect.
I never really felt quite right as a girl, and I was very tomboyish growing up. I still had my Barbie dolls, but I preferred the male ones. And I loved my Hot Wheels, Model Cars, and Micro Machines more. Somehow even through my love of fishing, camping, and the outdoors, my mom still never got the idea.
When I finally came out as trans, my family didn't seem surprised. But they still refuse to call me the right pronouns or name. I fear that - in their eyes - I'll always be their precious little girl. The only one in my family that seems to remotely get it, is my older brother. He calls me Andy and his "Brosis," which is better than nothing.
As if being trans wasn't enough though, I am also gay/pansexual. I had crushes on lots of guys growing up. I remember my mom always called me "boy-crazy" and I'm still that way to some extent now.
Today, I live in Phoenix, AZ with a dog, a cat, and my girlfriend/roommate.
I have recently connected with a few other trans people in my area, and we try to get together as much as possible. All in all, things are looking up.
My advice to LGBTQ kids now? Never stop believing in yourself!
I know things are scary right now. But remember, they can only get better.
Aiden's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Jonathan Taylor Thomas (in "Tom & Huck")
____________________________________________________
Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet
Springfield, Illinois (1997)
It's hard to believe that the child in this picture was born a girl named Annie.
Because even as a child, I was rather androgynous looking. It wasn't until I hit puberty and began to grow breasts, that I began to look a bit more feminine.
Now I am 25, and I consider myself an FTM transgender. Sometimes I wonder if I am
Bi-gender, though. I look back and I'm surprised I didn't realize it earlier.
There are a few memories that speak out to me as I look back.
First was in middle school when I cut my hair really short. And all the kids called me Andy. I didn't mind it, and I didn't even bother correcting them. But they began to call me "G.I. Jane," and that's when I got mad.
I once read an article about transgenderism, when I was 14. I remember thinking for a split second "Hmm, that sounds familiar." But I didn't really give it a second thought until many years later. At the time, I wrote my feelings off as just being a masculine girl. But now, I know that was incorrect.
I never really felt quite right as a girl, and I was very tomboyish growing up. I still had my Barbie dolls, but I preferred the male ones. And I loved my Hot Wheels, Model Cars, and Micro Machines more. Somehow even through my love of fishing, camping, and the outdoors, my mom still never got the idea.
When I finally came out as trans, my family didn't seem surprised. But they still refuse to call me the right pronouns or name. I fear that - in their eyes - I'll always be their precious little girl. The only one in my family that seems to remotely get it, is my older brother. He calls me Andy and his "Brosis," which is better than nothing.
As if being trans wasn't enough though, I am also gay/pansexual. I had crushes on lots of guys growing up. I remember my mom always called me "boy-crazy" and I'm still that way to some extent now.
Today, I live in Phoenix, AZ with a dog, a cat, and my girlfriend/roommate.
I have recently connected with a few other trans people in my area, and we try to get together as much as possible. All in all, things are looking up.
My advice to LGBTQ kids now? Never stop believing in yourself!
I know things are scary right now. But remember, they can only get better.
Aiden's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Jonathan Taylor Thomas (in "Tom & Huck")
____________________________________________________
Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet
September 08, 2011
John
John, age 6
Duncan, OK (1977)
I always knew I was "different" and my family could sense it too. Especially my big sister. She was constantly making fun of me, picking on me, and occasionally beating the crap out of me! I finally decided I'd had enough - of her and everyone else - and I learned some stealth moves. Just check my photo!
After standing up for myself, my sister and I became best friends.
And to this day, we are fiercely protective of one another.
Being a confident and self-assured gay kid went a long way in keeping the
rednecks of Oklahoma off my back. And shaped me into the proud and strong gay man I am today.
I also still enjoy breaking out this special move - but in a slightly more private environment. :)
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Tweet
Duncan, OK (1977)
I always knew I was "different" and my family could sense it too. Especially my big sister. She was constantly making fun of me, picking on me, and occasionally beating the crap out of me! I finally decided I'd had enough - of her and everyone else - and I learned some stealth moves. Just check my photo!
After standing up for myself, my sister and I became best friends.
And to this day, we are fiercely protective of one another.
Being a confident and self-assured gay kid went a long way in keeping the
rednecks of Oklahoma off my back. And shaped me into the proud and strong gay man I am today.
I also still enjoy breaking out this special move - but in a slightly more private environment. :)
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Tweet
August 30, 2011
Steve
Steve, age 3
Waterford, Maine (1969)
I'm sitting here at our campsite on Papoose Pond, wearing my Indian headband with the pink feather in front like a showgirl. Toes gleefully pointed. Smiling.
It's possible this photo was taken at the very moment Judy Garland died.
I was always dressed in red, my towheaded older brother in blue. Later that got switched. Maybe my mother thought I'd attract less attention in blue.
I was a good student with plenty of friends, until my town merged with another in junior high. Kids I hadn't grown up with tormented me. The dreaded F word. Some old friends jumped ship and unfriended me. I tried fitting in for about a minute, but this was classic rock country, and I liked Blondie and The B-52's.
I told my girlfriend I was gay. She told me she was a lesbian. Other friends I told were cool with it. In high school the artsy upperclassmen protected me, and the worst was over by about 16. I didn't come out to my parents until after college. Mom wasn't surprised, but Dad laughed and said he never would've known.
When I moved to Hollywood there were gay people everywhere. I became a noted drag performer (the original Sharon Needles) and made fabulous friends. I wore red unless I'd bleached my hair, in which case I'd wear blue.
And I loved my big gay demimonde.
After I moved back east to be near my dying father, there were some unhappy years. The bar and the after party are the wrong place to grieve. Happily,
I bounced back, and I'm grateful for my life today.
Being gay doesn't define me. I'm much more than just that.
But looking at this picture now, I absolutely love it. That's the real me.
And I want to keep that kid smiling, and maybe give him another feather.
Steve's first, famous person same-sex crush:
Ralph Carter (Michael on "Good Times")
_____________________________________________________
Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet
Waterford, Maine (1969)
I'm sitting here at our campsite on Papoose Pond, wearing my Indian headband with the pink feather in front like a showgirl. Toes gleefully pointed. Smiling.
It's possible this photo was taken at the very moment Judy Garland died.
I was always dressed in red, my towheaded older brother in blue. Later that got switched. Maybe my mother thought I'd attract less attention in blue.
I was a good student with plenty of friends, until my town merged with another in junior high. Kids I hadn't grown up with tormented me. The dreaded F word. Some old friends jumped ship and unfriended me. I tried fitting in for about a minute, but this was classic rock country, and I liked Blondie and The B-52's.
I told my girlfriend I was gay. She told me she was a lesbian. Other friends I told were cool with it. In high school the artsy upperclassmen protected me, and the worst was over by about 16. I didn't come out to my parents until after college. Mom wasn't surprised, but Dad laughed and said he never would've known.
When I moved to Hollywood there were gay people everywhere. I became a noted drag performer (the original Sharon Needles) and made fabulous friends. I wore red unless I'd bleached my hair, in which case I'd wear blue.
And I loved my big gay demimonde.
After I moved back east to be near my dying father, there were some unhappy years. The bar and the after party are the wrong place to grieve. Happily,
I bounced back, and I'm grateful for my life today.
Being gay doesn't define me. I'm much more than just that.
But looking at this picture now, I absolutely love it. That's the real me.
And I want to keep that kid smiling, and maybe give him another feather.
Steve's first, famous person same-sex crush:
Ralph Carter (Michael on "Good Times")
_____________________________________________________
Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet
Labels:
1960's,
artist,
born gay,
born this way,
Bullied,
California,
Drag,
Dragstrip 66,
Maine,
New York,
Steve
August 26, 2011
Saxon
Saxon, age 6
Tulsa, Oklahoma (1995)
Going through my fathers' pictures for his 50th birthday, I came across this one. It was taken at my grandmother's house in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
I had the best memories there, hanging out at the lake with my dad, and just being a crazy kid.
I'm 22 now, and a working performance artist. As this picture shows, I had a flair for the dramatic at an early age!
Looking back, I don't consider myself overly flamboyant.
I just had an amazing support system, so I didn't care about the perceptions of others.
And I must say, I couldn't have asked for a better childhood.
AND IT JUST GETS BETTER!
______________________________________________________
Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet
Tulsa, Oklahoma (1995)
I had the best memories there, hanging out at the lake with my dad, and just being a crazy kid.
I'm 22 now, and a working performance artist. As this picture shows, I had a flair for the dramatic at an early age!
Looking back, I don't consider myself overly flamboyant.
I just had an amazing support system, so I didn't care about the perceptions of others.
And I must say, I couldn't have asked for a better childhood.
AND IT JUST GETS BETTER!
______________________________________________________
Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin' Tweet
August 21, 2011
Gérard
Gérard, age 8
New Orleans, LA (1974)
The birthday teddy bear is Pierre and that's my beautiful mother, Judith. I hadn't seen her in about a year, so this day was special, as she had come home. My parents had a tumultuous marriage, and she often ran away from her problems.
As I saw her arriving from afar, I didn't recognize her at first. But I remembered the wind blowing through her hair and playfully ruffling her skirt. Her vision was beautiful, statuesque, and breathtaking.
My parents had 10 kids, and I was the youngest and gayest. By 8 I knew I was different than my 4 older brothers and father. I had more fun with my 5 sisters than any young male child should have.
The fact that I had a huge teddy bear in my hands, at that age, was proof enough. My love for musicals hinted also.
I was called "sissy" and "girl" etc. by my siblings and others. And unfortunately, my parents were Jehovah's Witnesses for a time. I joined when I was much older.
I was trying to escape my gayness, and was "disfellowshipped" at age 21, because
I kissed a guy. By that time, my mother had passed on when I was 17, so I was dealing with a lot. I tried suicide many times and, thankfully, never succeeded.
Now, I'm almost 45 and I'm very happy that I'm still here.
Presently, I'm single, but I know there's love out there for me.
As for you, just be who you are! LOVE yourself, and don't waste time trying to live the life others hope for you. It's not worth it. Remember that you were born this way, and there's nothing wrong with that at all.
Gérard's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Michael Gray (Billy Baxton on "Shazam")
_______________________________________________
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Tweet
New Orleans, LA (1974)
The birthday teddy bear is Pierre and that's my beautiful mother, Judith. I hadn't seen her in about a year, so this day was special, as she had come home. My parents had a tumultuous marriage, and she often ran away from her problems.
As I saw her arriving from afar, I didn't recognize her at first. But I remembered the wind blowing through her hair and playfully ruffling her skirt. Her vision was beautiful, statuesque, and breathtaking.
My parents had 10 kids, and I was the youngest and gayest. By 8 I knew I was different than my 4 older brothers and father. I had more fun with my 5 sisters than any young male child should have.
The fact that I had a huge teddy bear in my hands, at that age, was proof enough. My love for musicals hinted also.
I was called "sissy" and "girl" etc. by my siblings and others. And unfortunately, my parents were Jehovah's Witnesses for a time. I joined when I was much older.
I was trying to escape my gayness, and was "disfellowshipped" at age 21, because
I kissed a guy. By that time, my mother had passed on when I was 17, so I was dealing with a lot. I tried suicide many times and, thankfully, never succeeded.
Now, I'm almost 45 and I'm very happy that I'm still here.
Presently, I'm single, but I know there's love out there for me.
As for you, just be who you are! LOVE yourself, and don't waste time trying to live the life others hope for you. It's not worth it. Remember that you were born this way, and there's nothing wrong with that at all.
Gérard's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Michael Gray (Billy Baxton on "Shazam")
_______________________________________________
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Tweet
August 19, 2011
Randy
Randy, age 2
Roxbury, CT (1953)
I was the seventh of eight kids.
As a child, I always loved books, Christmas, and anything fantastic or magical. This photo was shot during Christmas, 1953.
Unfortunately, our dad was a recluse and a compulsive eater. And he failed to protect us from our Jekyll and Hyde, alcoholic, pedophile mother.
Or from my abused, mentally ill older brother, who terrorized and humiliated me for being sensitive and empathetic.
At age 12 I discovered muscle magazines, and realized I was sexually attracted
to men. It took me many years to accept that this was OK. I even converted to Fundamentalist Christianity to escape my sexuality. Of course, it didn't work.
I am 60 now, and glad to be gay despite my PTSD diagnosis, and the fact that being overweight marginalizes me in gay culture.
Randy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Robin Hood
I longed to be part of his band of Merry Men, who would keep me safe.
________________________________________________
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Tweet
Roxbury, CT (1953)
I was the seventh of eight kids.
As a child, I always loved books, Christmas, and anything fantastic or magical. This photo was shot during Christmas, 1953.
Unfortunately, our dad was a recluse and a compulsive eater. And he failed to protect us from our Jekyll and Hyde, alcoholic, pedophile mother.
Or from my abused, mentally ill older brother, who terrorized and humiliated me for being sensitive and empathetic.
At age 12 I discovered muscle magazines, and realized I was sexually attracted
to men. It took me many years to accept that this was OK. I even converted to Fundamentalist Christianity to escape my sexuality. Of course, it didn't work.
I am 60 now, and glad to be gay despite my PTSD diagnosis, and the fact that being overweight marginalizes me in gay culture.
Randy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Robin Hood
I longed to be part of his band of Merry Men, who would keep me safe.
________________________________________________
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Tweet
August 15, 2011
Sarah
Sarah, age 4
Tuscon, Arizona (1979)
For this kindergarten photo, I told the photographer I wanted a "serious picture." But the more he tried to make me smile, the more serious I got. And I do NOT like this dress. I wanted to wear my fireman's hat, which I was usually allowed to do, as my parents weren't really invested in any particular gender expression.
I love this picture because of its emotional honesty: I'm not smiling because I don't feel like smiling. And no one was going to push me into feeling or doing something I don't want.
While this is harder to accomplish as an adult, it's always my goal.
At this age, I knew I was a little different, and had a nascent crush on my kindergarten teacher. But I didn't yet have the words for it.
I went on to be viciously bullied in middle school, and I hope those kids are all in jail now.
Today, I have a loving partner and a diverse group of friends, and I became a writer and a teacher.
Bigoted speech -- especially the phrase "That's so gay" -- is forbidden in my classroom. Consequences are swift and severe, if I hear it.
My message to LGBTQ youth is:
Respect yourself! And do not "ignore" the bullying, because it doesn't work.
It only makes you more vulnerable; more victimized.
Bullies can tell when you're "ignoring" them, and it makes them want to do whatever they can to make you crack. The onus for stopping bullying is NOT on you -- it's on the bully, as well as the adults in charge.
You must keep talking, keep complaining, and keep demanding that something
be done - UNTIL SOMETHING IS DONE. Look your principal in the eye, and be sure to mention Jamie Nabozny - who won a huge federal lawsuit against his school administrators for failing to stop anti-gay harassment.
Lastly, keep saving your money...
There are buses leaving every day for other cities, and you can be on them!
Sarah's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Karen Carpenter (singer, The Carpenters)
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
__________________________________________________
Tweet
Tuscon, Arizona (1979)
For this kindergarten photo, I told the photographer I wanted a "serious picture." But the more he tried to make me smile, the more serious I got. And I do NOT like this dress. I wanted to wear my fireman's hat, which I was usually allowed to do, as my parents weren't really invested in any particular gender expression.
I love this picture because of its emotional honesty: I'm not smiling because I don't feel like smiling. And no one was going to push me into feeling or doing something I don't want.
While this is harder to accomplish as an adult, it's always my goal.
At this age, I knew I was a little different, and had a nascent crush on my kindergarten teacher. But I didn't yet have the words for it.
I went on to be viciously bullied in middle school, and I hope those kids are all in jail now.
Today, I have a loving partner and a diverse group of friends, and I became a writer and a teacher.
Bigoted speech -- especially the phrase "That's so gay" -- is forbidden in my classroom. Consequences are swift and severe, if I hear it.
My message to LGBTQ youth is:
Respect yourself! And do not "ignore" the bullying, because it doesn't work.
It only makes you more vulnerable; more victimized.
Bullies can tell when you're "ignoring" them, and it makes them want to do whatever they can to make you crack. The onus for stopping bullying is NOT on you -- it's on the bully, as well as the adults in charge.
You must keep talking, keep complaining, and keep demanding that something
be done - UNTIL SOMETHING IS DONE. Look your principal in the eye, and be sure to mention Jamie Nabozny - who won a huge federal lawsuit against his school administrators for failing to stop anti-gay harassment.
Lastly, keep saving your money...
There are buses leaving every day for other cities, and you can be on them!
Sarah's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Karen Carpenter (singer, The Carpenters)
Also check out "My First Gay Crush Blog"
__________________________________________________
Tweet
August 10, 2011
Thom
Thom, age 10
Orlando, Florida (1973)
This is my sister and I shot at Disney World. I find the hat I'm wearing to be a
big revel of my true self. This is how I was born, and I am free and happy!
I grew up in Ft. Lauderdale, FL
and I recall being a mascot for my father's football team. And I remember my mom seeing me cheerleading in my football gear with all the cheerleaders.
I'm also not the only gay member of my family. A much younger relative just came out, and he praised me for being myself, and helping to make his experience hopeful and easier.
Today, I'm 48 and happy and living in New York City.
I'm surrounded by my siblings and their children, and I feel very loved.
__________________________________________________
Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin' Tweet
Orlando, Florida (1973)
This is my sister and I shot at Disney World. I find the hat I'm wearing to be a
big revel of my true self. This is how I was born, and I am free and happy!
I grew up in Ft. Lauderdale, FL
and I recall being a mascot for my father's football team. And I remember my mom seeing me cheerleading in my football gear with all the cheerleaders.
I'm also not the only gay member of my family. A much younger relative just came out, and he praised me for being myself, and helping to make his experience hopeful and easier.
Today, I'm 48 and happy and living in New York City.
I'm surrounded by my siblings and their children, and I feel very loved.
__________________________________________________
Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow this blog with Bloglovin' Tweet
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)