February 10, 2011

Lex

Lex, age 6
Grand Junction, Colorado (1978)

Here I am, as Johnny Scott - the name I'd given to myself from 5 to 9 years old. I had it ironed on a few t-shirts, and even on my Rocky Balboa gold-satin boxing robe that my mom sewed me. We couldn't afford more fabric, so it was just a single-ply "Johnny Scott" embroidered on the right breast.

My parents were the best, fully indulging me in my Johnny Scott persona.

He was basically a beefed-up, snarkier, more lewd version of myself. Johnny Scott flirted with the cocktail waitresses at my mom's restaurant, and dad used me as girl-bait at the college pool:

'Isn't he cute?
So, where you ladies from?'


Interests back then included: Faye Dunaway, small arson projects, Ali McGraw, discarded cigarettes, Annette Jimenez and Tina Hawley (1st grade crushes), Sha-Na-Na, The Fonz, Sly Stallone, and BMX bicycles.

I also liked shaving. While my mom took the blade out of the razor, she bought me my own shaving cream.

My first real crush was Kara Madsen, a classmate. We'd kiss like John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John did in "Grease," in that way where John put his finger under her chin, and drew her near.

Yup, Johnny Scott had a good time back in the day, and he was loved by many.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Sonia

Sonia, age 10
E. Hartford, CT (1980)

This was taken at Parrot Jungle in Miami, on a rare visit to see my father.
I remember always liking rainbows. "Mork & Mindy" was a popular TV show when I was a kid, and I'd gotten the same rainbow suspenders that Mork wore, and I'd wear them with a dark green and purple-striped velour jersey top.

"Rainbow Child!"
People in my family would laugh at my fashion choices, as I used to go through phases of wearing only dresses, and alternately only pants.

My first celebrity crush was Olivia Newton-John. After I saw her in "Grease" as the hottie in leather at the end of the movie, I was hooked. Then I got one of her records and would just stare at her for what seemed like hours. I alternately wanted to be her and have her.

Girls were my first loves, then boys when I hit puberty, then back to the girls. Now I confidently identify as queer, and engage in relationships with people whom I find lovable and worthy of my time and attention.

As encouragement to gay kids, I'd say:

Be proud of who you are. Express yourself as best as you can, and find the people who love and support your individuality. Be proud to be different!

And hang in there, as life gets better with age and experience. Be strong, be kind, and be gentle with yourself. You are lovable and precious. Celebrate!

Sonia's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Olivia Newton-John
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Back to Basics: The Essential Collection 1971-1992 Mork & Mindy - The Complete First Season 

Leigh

Leigh, age 8
Baltimore, MD (1978)

I grew up in a household of two women, my mother and my grandmother, so I was always surrounded by all things fashionable and artsy. It didn't help matters that my mom was an artist and heavily involved in the local art community where we lived in Philadelphia.

I remember being with mom, watching her orchestrate and choreograph fashion shows for the local community during summer vacations. Sometimes I'd get myself on stage too, and do a little runway show of my own.

Mom loved this, of course, and she'd set me up with an outfit to wear, and send me on my way.

Years later, my grandmother told me how I always knew how to charm people - especially the men and other boys - and that was why she always kept a close eye on me.

Sean

Sean, age 3
Upland, CA (1976)

I had a young mom (she was 19 when I was born), and she of course still liked to chill and be 'mellow in the 70's' with her friends when I was young. One of her friends had a son named Perry, that I remember I just wanted to kiss so badly.
I remember thinking 'I like him, I want to kiss him on the mouth' - and so, I did.


In the process, I knocked his 2-year old sexiness down to the ground! My mom and her friends just thought this was a riot, so they snapped a couple of pics.
Were they high? I'm not sure she would ever admit that, if so! LOL!

Anyhow, I remember thinking those thoughts and remember that I liked this kiss from Perry. And I wanted more. So in the years following, I 'made out' with a few other little boys until about 7, when kids start getting weird.

I'd have to wait another 7 years for my next boy-on-boy kiss.

Sean's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Robert Urich (in "Vegas")

I watched the reruns at 12, and thought Dan Tana cruising the strip was hot!
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Vegas: Season One (Vol. 1 & 2) The ABC's of Kissing Boys They Called Him Tin Tin

Luke

Luke, age 3
Flagler Beach, Florida (1989)

I know this photo was taken on a vacation while visiting my uncle’s family. Sadly, I have no recollection of what was occurring at that moment. So in the hopes I was as much like Stewie Griffin as I'd like my younger self to have been, I imagine I must have been aghast due to something about a family member. Such as whenever I was with my uncle's family, I recall pondering over the absurdity of the millions of varicose veins that painted my older aunt's legs.

I discovered I was gay when I was age 12, but I spent the next 11 years doing everything I could for this not to be the case.

Why? Because I was the golden child in my family.

And the pressure to be perfect screwed with my desire for personal happiness.

Plus, I went to a private school where the students' mantra was, 'Kill anything which might seem queer, overweight, ugly, or dorky'.

And I would have been bully fodder, if my appreciation of the "Sailor Moon" series was exposed. But nowadays, I feel I've made a complete 180 change in the way I look at the fact that I’m gay.

What worked helping me, and what I recommend for young gays is:

1) Come out to a fellow gay who doesn’t pose any risk. I didn’t even really know the first person I told my "secret" to would end up being an incredible mentor. And who helped me more than he knows.

2) Fall in love! It's incredible when the desire to publicly express your feelings for someone outweighs your biggest fear.

Luke's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Mario Lopez (But only while acting as Olympic diver Greg Louganis)
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

February 09, 2011

Wayne

Wayne, age 10
Walton Beach, FL (1972)


Here's me, in the finest fashion of that era. And my mother made that fine shirt for me! Thanks, mom! Funny to see now though, as I grew up to be someone "punk" who ended up wearing such a drab palette of black, gray, and denim.

"The original Tony Manero?"
I was pegged as different very early on. My mom tells me I went through a "red" phase, and even wanted to dress myself from head to toe in red, red, and more red. I DO NOT remember that phase.

But I DO remember my thing with "purple" though. I'd read somewhere that purple was the color of "royalty" and I attached some significance to the fact I was a Leo, and therefore the King Of The Beasts. And I was painfully and obviously different. But somehow, I decided all these connections made sense, as purple was the color of my birthright.

Below, you'll see my first crush was Bobby Sherman. But why can I remember each and every word to his show's TV theme song?

"The bluest skies you'll ever see, are in SEATTLE!
And the hills are green as green, in SEATTLE!
Like a beautiful child, growing up free and wild
Full of hope, full of fears, full of laughter, full of tears
Full of dreams to last the years, in SEATTLE!"


I mean, I know the song was on the back of my cereal box and "theme songs" are built on memorability, but really - all of that??? I can't even remember any character or plot on the show!

Wayne's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Bobby Sherman
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Bobby Sherman's Greatest Hits Your Personal Astrology Planner 2011: Leo (Your Personal Astrology Plannr) Incredibly Gay, Purple, Large

Will

Will, age 5
Ephrata, Pennsylvania (1993)

I was a 5-year old kid who liked making his shadow look as much like the ubiquitous "female" symbol seen outside of restrooms as possible.

When this picture was taken, I doubt I even knew what gay was. However, what I did know was that I loved watching "The Wizard Of Oz," and to me there was nobody more terrifying than the Wicked Witch of the West.

And my mother and father didn't blink an eye when I said I wanted to be a witch for Halloween.

For that I really feel blessed, especially because where I lived was a hive of religious, social conservatives.

I just wish I had a picture of me playing with my Pretty Pink Pony.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"


Grace

Grace, age 5
Manila, Philippines (1952)

I'm sitting on the bike, and that's my sister with me. And they really tried to "girl" me up by making us dress alike with fluffy dresses. But I was happiest dressed in jeans, or - as you can see here - in my underwear!

I've always been a little tomboy. There were mostly boys in my family, and besides my sister,
I played with the boys.

I was the oldest child, and when we played war I was the General, when we played cowboys, I was the Sheriff.
I didn't like dolls for presents, and I loved guns, tools, and building toys like erector sets.

My family didn't think anything of how I was. At least I don't think so. They did try to make me more lady-like by sending me to a local finishing school,
to learn to walk properly, and put on makeup, etc.

I actually like this picture now, because it confirms me. 

Grace's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Suzanne Pleshette
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Suzanne Pleshette [Exhibit Card] Philippine Diary: A Gay Guide to the Philippines Queering Mestizaje: Transculturation and Performance (Triangulations: Lesbian/Gay/Queer Theater/Drama/Performance)

Kirk

Kirk, age 7
West Chicago, Illinois (1981)

As a kid I loved Ken dolls. I had quite a collection and enjoyed playing along with my sisters and their Barbies. The only thing was that eventually my sisters outgrew the Barbies, and I never, ever did.

I first put two and two together and knew I was gay around the age of 11.

I had always heard that boys would grow up to like girls, and that was that.

I didn't know if or when I'd begin to develop sexual feelings towards girls.

I also didn't know if all the things I had already been thinking about boys were even sexual at all.

My first clue came from some horrible little everything-you-need-to-know-about-your-body-through-Christ-type of books that my mom had brought home, and surreptitiously slipped onto the bookshelf. In its 200 pages, it mentioned homosexuality exactly once - only to say that it was 'a horrible thing that will NEVER happen to you.'

Well, to hell with that!

I now know that I have always been who I am, and that honesty is the key to living a happy and fulfilled life. Be yourself above all else; if you don't, who will?

First celebrity crush: I don't remember an exact object of my nascent affections, but I do know that seeing boxers all sweaty in their satin shorts gave me very strange feelings inside.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
Click to follow my blog with Bloglovin'

Chrissy

Chrissy, age 8
Kaplan, LA (1986)

This picture was taken at the peak of me being called a tomboy. People often asked why I don't play with girls or dolls more often, and I'd tell them that they bore me. I also quickly informed people that I hated Barbie and much preferred He-Man, Ninja Turtles, and Nintendo. I recall wondering why it even mattered.

I grew up in Cajun Country, where gender roles are emphasized, almost to a caricature. While I was enrolled in ballet and gymnastics - until I landed on a girl's head, then quit - I also enjoyed climbing trees, karate lessons, and playing baseball with the boys.

My first cognizant crush on a girl was about when I was in 8th grade; she was a pretty blond named Nichole. As a practicing Roman Catholic, I faced a lot of inner turmoil when I realized I was attracted to women.

My friends and family, however, were nothing short of phenomenal in accepting me when I came out at age 18.

I was a lot harsher on myself than anyone else, except maybe my fundamentalist Christian brother. We went 3 years without speaking after I came out, but we are now civil to one another.

Staying in the closet for so long was one of the most detrimental things I've done to my self-esteem. I encourage all young, closeted LGBT's to be bold and come out as soon as it's safe. It may very well go a lot better than you expect.

And anyone who rejects you doesn't deserve to have you in your life.

Chrissy's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Reba McEntire
Reba. So country! Oh, and Sherilyn Fenn from 'Twin Peaks'
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Reba #1's PLAYBOY DECEMBER 1990 SHERILYN FENN, JAY LENO He-Man & The Masters of the Universe: Season One

February 08, 2011

Natasha

Natasha, age 6
London, UK (1998)


I didn't really wear dresses after the age of 5, unless I had to. I always loved dressing-up, usually as some kind of Victorian urchin. I was pretty obsessed with the musical "Oliver," and while my friends dressed up as Disney Princesses, I was dressing up as the Artful Dodger. This picture makes me smile, I look so pleased with myself.


I always knew I was different, but I wasn't really sure what it was that made me different.

For a while, I thought I wanted to be a boy, or might hate being girl. So I was branded a "tomboy" for quite a while.

In early adolescence I spent quite a lot of time desperately hoping that I would fancy a boy, but it never really happened.

I thought I was odd, and so I began to lie about who I was attracted to, hoping it would eventually come true.



It wasn't until I was around 15 that I started to realize that I liked girls, although on some level I guess I already knew. I came out when I was 17, and people were generally unsurprised.

My message for young LGBT people would be to always stay true to yourself; don't hide who you are because of other people's bigotry. Stay safe, and love yourself.

Natasha's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Pocahontas & Drew Barrymore (in "Charlie's Angels")
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Pocahontas (10th Anniversary Edition) Charlie's Angels (Special Edition) Oliver! A Queer Romance: Lesbians, Gay Men and Popular Culture