Michael

Michael, age 4
Adelaide, South Australia (1988)

After years of hating to look at photos of myself, this is one of my favorites. Because even though there is a happy smile on my face, there is still something different about this little boy!

The name calling and bullying started in 2nd grade. I had no idea what a f*g or a poof was, but I knew it meant I had to try to hide it. But I didn't know how to be what society wanted me to be?

While I loved to play dolls and stuff with my sister, I was obsessed with cars and bikes and doing stupid stunts. So I felt completely confused.

Was I going to turn into a girl like everyone said I was, or was I going to turn into a boy?

When I was 11, it started to make sense: I was a boy who liked boys.

I was also a boy who liked doing girl and boy stuff. And once high school and hormones hit, things got worse. My flamboyant side shoved its way out even more. I hated being me!

I desperately wanted to "own up" to who I really was, and though everyone else knew it, how could I admit to being gay? Then in 10th grade, enough was enough and I came out. The bullying got worse, but I felt secure in myself.

If they were going to torture me, at least I knew it was because of my honesty.

My friends were fine, and not a bit surprised. But I never knew how to tell my parents, so one Wednesday night while watching TV, I just blurted it out.
I was dizzy and in tears. I swore they knew, yet they said they had no idea.

After a few rocky months, they came around. I'm now 27, and have been an out and proud gay man for over 10 years, and life couldn’t be better!

Things HONESTLY do get better.

Just hang in there, and you will figure out how to be the "you" that you were meant to be. And you will do it with your head held high!

Also check out "My First Gay Crush" Blog