Christian

Christian, age 7
Toronto, Canada (1994)

This is me on vacation in Cuba. I picked it for the homoerotic undertones -
I am literally straddling a cannon - and because I was probably encouraged by my parents to climb up and do what I wanted to do. Something not all kids have.

I can truly say that I was born gay. The first time I remember having this idea was when I was in 1st grade. There was a cute girl in my class, and I remember saying to myself, "I like boys the way other boys like girls."

As a kid I was creative and loved art, pretty much only had female friends, hated sports, had effeminate mannerisms, and stuttered, a lot.

I remember my friends were the one Asian guy in my class, the bigger girl, and the tall, lanky girl who got teased a lot. Looking back, all of this didn't lend itself to an easy childhood, but it did help me sympathize with fellow outcasts.

My parents were pretty cool with me doing my own thing. But they were also too busy working to really monitor me, and I ended up watching a lot of TV.

I never wondered whether or not I was gay, though I was briefly enamored with Sporty Spice. I have wondered whether or not it would be easier to conform and hide - or to be "loud and proud" with the things that made me stand out.

The route I choose was clearly the latter, because no matter how hard I tried,
I couldn't hide who I was.

That would be my one suggestion to kids out there: Do what you want to do,
and do it better than anyone else. Gay or straight, you should be happy in life.

Christian's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
John Travolta (in "Grease")
Zachary Ty Bryan (on "Home Improvement")
Ryder Strong (on "Boy Meets World")
Mario Lopez (on "Saved By The Bell")
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Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Fernando

Fernando, age 4

Mexico City, Mexico (1979)

Ever since I can remember, I knew I was different from other kids. I liked things other boys didn't like, such as playing with my cousin's dolls, and wearing my mom's sunglasses, heels or makeup. The other boys liked the things I hated, like playing soccer or getting G.I. Joe dolls for Christmas.

I pretty much grew up that way, realized I was gay at age 13, and came out quite late, at age 23.

Looking back to my childhood, I feel very proud of the courage it took for me to stand up for what I believed in, and to dare to come out.

Especially considering the environment where I grew up: conservative and Catholic in upper-class Mexico city.

At the beginning, the process of coming out seemed hard and painful. Very close to impossible, actually. I felt as if I'd be the only homosexual my friends and family would ever have to deal with.

Pretty soon after I started the coming out process, I realized that wasn't the case. I had my friends' and family's support, but it took a little time.

And to my huge surprise, my three closest childhood friends turned out to be gay as well. No wonder we remained friends all those years!

Stephen

Stephen, age 4

Ponoka, Alberta, Canada (1989)

I was awkward as a kid, like being accident prone. Also I was probably the tallest person in my school throughout most of my elementary, middle, and high school years. So I stuck out like a sore thumb. It bothered me, because when you are different when younger, children are cruel.

As early as age 5, I dressed up in my mom's clothes, playing with her makeup.

I didn't see anything wrong with it. My parents didn't see anything wrong with it when I was younger either.

I eventually figured I was too old for that kind of stuff so I stopped. It didn't mean I didn't have fun doing it though. It was always nice.

When I was 13, I started to realize I liked other boys.
I KNEW I was different earlier, but this was when hormones happened.

My parents were far more accepting of the things I did than I give them credit for. My dad was always saying things like "F*g this" or "Queer that" and I guess that's what happens when you are raised Catholic. He just didn’t like gays.

But when I told him I was gay, he seemed to change his whole perspective, which is a good thing. My mom always said, "It's your life. Do what you want with it."

After suffering through a couple years of depression after coming out, I look back on my picture and think "I'm almost back to being that kid again. Not caring. Just happy." And I really am. It's a long process though.

Words of advice to all my fellow LGBTQ people:
Go into your childhood photos. Find a picture of you looking happy, and tell yourself that you will be that happy again. That has worked wonders for me

Stephen's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Ryan Gosling (in "Breaker High" and "Young Hercules")

I actually cried during the 'Young Hercules' episode when Ryan appeared to die.
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Dexter

Dexter, age 6

Manila, Philippines (1984)

I knew I was "different" when I was 4-years old, and of course, I did not have the words to describe that part of me. And it was difficult for me to define myself because I - like most Filipinos - come from a conservative Catholic family.

I grew up listening to "The Wiz" and "Annie" soundtracks. And to Madonna, who I vogued to in private. TV, movies, and books were my only companions, as I did not have any friends.

I had a feeling then that Bert & Ernie from "Sesame Street" were more than roommates, and that the "Hardy Boys" were definitely having adventures together outdoors and indoors.

In my dreams, "Robocop" was my "roommate," and we weren't solving mysteries.

Looking at my childhood now that I am an adult, I was a very sad boy.

I handled the bullying by taking my mind away from reality. I spent my non-school days locked in the house, and not wanting to interact with anyone.

But everything is different now: I am living with my partner, I am extremely happy, and I do not have to escape to feel that happiness.

Now, the two of us listen to my Madonna and Abba (his favorite) records together, and we spend the weekends having South Australian adventures.

And yes: we have our adventures both outdoors and indoors.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Dennis

Dennis, age 7

Manila, Philipines (1978)

Mabuhay! I'm Dennis from the Philippines. I really like your blog, because it's so inspiring and uplifting. Recently, I created my own album of gay baby pictures on Facebook for my friends. But here, I wanted to add some more Asian flavor to your wonderful galleries.

This was shot during playtime/dragtime, with my female cousins and my brother. Look closely, and you'll see my heavy make-up - LOL!

Based on my pose, you can really and truly say that I was born with a "Type G" blood - GAY. But as a young child, I didn't know I was gay.

My parents were always very supportive, and didn't have negative reactions regarding my behavior.

Although, when I asked for a doll, they gave me a Humpty Dumpty stuffed toy instead.

I loved watching "Charlie's Angels," "Wonder Woman," and "Knots Landing" with my family. Being different wasn't an issue, but I grew up with an older brother, and attended an all-boys Catholic school.

Yes, I played basketball and other rough boys' games. But when I reached my teen years, this picture played a very important role in my life. When I saw it again about 6 years ago, a realization or confirmation happened.

The pose, the clothes, and specially the pout, reminded me that I was born gay. Then, this teen became a queen, and I lived happily ever after.

Thank you for your blog. And thank you, God - because I was born this way.
"We are the future, seeing the beginnings of another stage of human evolution."
- a quote from "X-Men"

Dennis' first, famous-person same sex crush:

Scott Baio (in "Zapped")

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Matt

Matt, age 9

Schaumburg, Illinois (1983)

I'm Matt, and this photo was shot while I was visiting my cousin in Phoenix, and her neighborhood friend came by for a swim. The following is my story...

I remember during recess, running around pretending to be Wonder Woman. After school on Fridays, I would sleepover at my cousin's who only had Barbie dolls to play with.

I was juggled around A LOT as a kid, due to my mother being terminally ill with MS, and my father working the 2nd shift at the airport. Because of this, I didn't have many friends and had always been a shy loner.

Junior High came around, and that meant changing/showering in front of other boys during gym class. I knew for sure now, that I was more attracted to them than I was to girls. My parents might have also sensed this, as they promptly enrolled me in a Catholic high school.

A kid on the bus once asked me whether I liked Playboy or Playgirl magazine. Not knowing what either was, I answered the latter. I figured with word "girl" in it, I was safe. The same day, a bully on the football team threw his meatball sandwich on me during lunch, but luckily a girl lent me her cardigan uniform.

It wouldn't be until a year after graduating from college that I came out to my friends, and a year after that to some of my family.

Today, I am finally comfortable with who I am and no longer feel ashamed to admit to my sexuality. It's ironic that those who knew me as a child, say they weren't surprised. Yet people I meet as an adult are usually surprised.

Perhaps I should cue the "Charlie's Angels" theme song and strike that Farrah Fawcett pose more often. Or spin around with my Lasso Of Truth?

Matt's first, famous-person same sex crushes:
Gregory Harrison (on "Trapper John, MD")
Dirk Benedict (on "Battlestar Galactica" & "The A-Team")
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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André

André, age 4

Baton Rouge, Louisiana (1972)

I recently came across this photo as I was scanning old slides for my parents.
I remember it was Easter of 1972. I'm holding a tiny purse my grandma made from an old margarine container, combined with delicate crocheting.

When I shared this photo with mom, she remarked at how cute my little sister was. When I pointed out that the photo was not of her daughter,
but rather, was of her proud, 4-year old son - she silently turned the page.

Growing up, my sexuality was the proverbial elephant in the room:

Always present, but never discussed.

I've heard we can only see the world with the light we've been given. When it came to my being gay, my parents never had the light they both needed to understand.

In my 12 years of Catholic schooling, just about every report card included the comment, "André is a sensitive boy." That was Catholic school code for "Gay as a daisy."

It was tough growing up "sensitive" and the journey was never easy. It was worth it, though. I can now say I love who I am, and I love the life I've built for myself.

I love that I've learned to honor and protect that sensitive, little boy with the pink Easter purse and black galoshes.

As an adult, I have a terrific job as a writer. I have a wonderful partner and a cozy home with 3 cats. It's exactly the kind of life that I was told would never be an option for me. A life filled with friends, family, and an occasional pink purse.

I live openly and proudly, and try to inspire others to do the same.
And I try to be that light for those who live in darkness.

That's how things get better.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Aaron

Aaron, age 8

Berne, Indiana (1982)

I think this picture is funny, because I'm so excited about my pink Easter basket. I think I'm more excited than Denise here, my younger, 6-year old sister.

Growing up in a small town in Indiana, I always knew I was different than other boys. I had a very high voice all through puberty, and I was very androgynous. So it was very hard for people to tell whether I was a boy or a girl.

But that androgyny has paid off now. At 37-years old, people still guess my age as late 20's or early 30's! I love it!

I remember being attracted to boys/men in the 1st grade, having a huge crush on my swimming instructor. All through grade school, I much preferred playing with the girls on the playground, instead of anything involving a ball.

Music and stage quickly became my vice. I was a boy soprano up until 8th grade, then an alto as a freshman. But that also led to many taunts of "f*g" and "sissy."

I remember playing superheroes with my cousins at family outings, and I always laid claim on being "Wonder Woman." I could never figure out why none of them ever argued with me about being her - not even my girl cousins!

But today - I am who I am. I have a wonderful family who accepts me and my partner. While they're fundamental Christians who will never approve of me being gay, they do accept and love me!

My advice to young people, or any people with a fear of coming out is:
Most of the people you're afraid to tell that you're gay - already know. They're just waiting for you to be comfortable enough with yourself to approach them with it.

It's generally not a surprise to anyone. And if they say it is, they're more than likely lying for one reason or another.

With that being said: It's OK to wait until you are comfortable to have a conversation about it. Move at your own pace!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Amanda

Amanda, age 4

Prospect, Colorado (1993)

Growing up in a conservative household was the most difficult part of understanding who I was.

I didn't realize my orientation until I was much older.

But there were subtle clues and almost constant feelings of confusion in my childhood.

Such as, I made my Barbies kiss. And why not? Ken and Barbie could kiss!

I loved to play in the dirt with trucks, and loved having dinosaur birthday parties.

As I grew up, my family constantly put down gays and lesbians, telling me and my brother they were all damned in God's eyes. I hurt and felt ashamed of myself, and the feelings I was having.

Especially when I developed my first crush on a girl named Salina.
And I knew I couldn't tell my parents how isolated I was feeling.

Now that I'm on my own, I don't have to hide anymore. I have the support and resources I need to help discover more about myself. And I couldn't be happier!

So if you ever feel alone or unsure of who you are, don't worry.
We've all been there, and will help each other get through it!
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Clarissa

Clarissa, age 4

Bronx, New York (1973)

I loved being a tomboy!
I wanted to be tough and dirty, and would go to work with my dad the mechanic. I didn't always wear coveralls, though.

My mom found a way to get me to wear dresses by making them herself, patterning them after Lucy Van Pelt of the "Peanuts" cartoon.

I acknowledged Lucy's toughness, and felt tough in those dresses, too!


I watched "The Bionic Woman," "Wonder Woman" and "That Girl" on TV,
all for the lead characters. Marlo Thomas' voice gave me butterflies.

I didn't know I was different until junior high. I just didn't get the way the other girls were obsessed about boys - mostly because I was obsessed about girls.

Being raised Catholic, I tamped my feelings down and thought of them as wrong until I was 25, and soon found friends who helped me accept myself and come out. All this, despite having a gay older brother who was accepted and loved by my family. Somehow I thought it would be different for me, since I was a girl.

Over the years, I'd tried to be more conventionally female. But there was nothing more freeing than cutting all my hair off, and returning to my tomboy roots!

To gay kids today: Love and accept yourself.
Stick with those who accept you, and live your truth.

Clarissa's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Marlo Thomas (in "That Girl")

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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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Frank

Frank, age 6

El Paso, TX (1990)

I grew up in a Christian home. My mother always gave us the best of the best,
at least to me, and she always worked hard to make sure we didn't lack anything. I'm the youngest of 7 kids, and there's 7 years between my next older sibling.
So that's probably why I was a bit spoiled.

At age 8, I got involved with the Royal Rangers, the church version of the Boy Scouts.

It was there I realized that I was different, but my feelings were confirmed later that year at a summer camp. 

One night I had my first encounter when I was kissed on the lips by my tent partner. He was a boy who, in my opinion, acted quite girly.

For years I prayed to be rid of the feelings I had, but my prayers were never answered. Therefore I viewed it as just being born this way.



A weekend visit to my mother's house from college was the time that I came out to her. Scared that she would react otherwise, she said, "I always knew you were different. But regardless, you'll always be my little boy." To hear that has given me great courage in life.

I was later in my first relationship, which was extremely abusive. But 4 years later and 1100 miles from home, I decided I didn't want to be beaten anymore.
So I ended the relationship.

Two years later, I found a wonderful guy who I'm now married to, and I couldn’t be happier. Funny to mention, but many people tell me that if I didn't tell them I was gay, they wouldn't have figured it out.

One thing that I would like to tell any young person out there:

Live for today, and don't worry about tomorrow.
When you start regretting your past, then that's when you stop living.

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Silas

Silas, age 3

Reedley, CA (1992)

Religious holidays were particularly huge gatherings for us. Easter was all about getting dressed up for my Southern Baptist family. This Easter, I was fashionable as always in a full body jumpsuit and cherry lip balm - because those smackers aren't naturally that red. And my sisters, Lacey and Michelle, wear ensembles sewn by our Aunt Julie. I love the food, bonding, and hugs that surround holidays, as they remind me of all the love there is on this planet and in Heaven.

As a kid, I had a billion Beanie Babies and watched "Family Matters" every day after school. On Saturday mornings, I'd sing along with the "Pokemon Song" ("Gotta catch ‘em all!")

I first felt different in kindergarten. My best friend and I were early "boyfriends." We would hold hands and kiss on the bus everyday after school.

When he told his parents that he loved me, they gave him the sex talk.

They told him being gay was a sin. That message was repeated to me.

As a result, for years I thought that women had "china" - not "vaginas" - up their skirts, and I refused to eat off porcelain.


Growing up gay in a Christian household can be rough. I have struggled to reconcile my faith and sexual orientation, and coming out was hard. But my family still loves me, and I know that if I meet a guy worthy of bringing home someday, we will rough through that together too.

Struggles are something everyone has; Christ, my friends, and my family help me deal with mine. I am a Gay Christian, and I was made this way.

Silas' first, famous-person same sex crush:

Prince Eric (from "The Little Mermaid")

Honestly, he was the sexiest cartoon character I'd ever seen.

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Chad

Chad, age 6

San Diego, California (1972)

Childhood was not a happy time, and it's shown in my face here. I was raised by a fundamentalist Christian preacher and his wife, in a home filled with abuse, where every emotion and desire was suppressed and beaten down.

I was constantly bombarded with messages that gays and homosexuals were the blight of the Earth, and who were faulted for every problem and natural disaster.

I was shown mocking images of flamboyant gay men in drag and butch lesbians riding motorcycles, as clear evidence that men and women had turned from their natural affections.

I didn't really have indications that I was different, because I had no reference points for comparison.


But, I do recall being very young, and being very intrigued by the male nudes at the museum.

In high school, I met another boy with a similar upbringing and we became close. As we started sharing our deepest thoughts and intimate secrets, we revealed that we both enjoyed this forbidden pleasure. Of course, I never mentioned it to my parents. According to them, ALL sex was bad, and even remotely sexual thoughts would send a person straight to hell.

Even then, I didn't realize those desires as gay. To me, homosexuals were the flamboyant (and ridiculed) queens in the Pride Parades, wearing shorts and leather hats. Yet secretly, I thought they were the hottest men I had ever seen!

It wasn’t until I left home that I came to terms with who I was.

Once I got out of that bubble, I learned that gay men could share a life together, and there were places I would be accepted as I am. I also learned that love did not have to come with physical pain.

I also learned that my parents were not a positive influence in my life.
They continued to abuse me with their guilt, disappointment, and shame long after I became an adult.

Thus, I learned that I didn't have to keep my parents in my life, and we haven't spoken in years. I'm a much happier person for eliminating that negativity.

More importantly, I learned that my feelings were not a cause for shame, but rather a reason to celebrate. And, that I was allowed to actually have fun and do things that felt good and enjoyable.

The young boy in this pic was introverted, shy, withdrawn, abused, and hurting. The adult man that this child became is intensely happy, full of life and love and cannot wait for each new day!

So I know that it really does get better, and being gay is not just a phase.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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Alan

Alan, age 12

Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada (1978)

My first memory of being "different" or gay happened when I was probably no more than 7 or 8 years old. I was taking swimming lessons at the local YMCA, and I remember a man walked into the pool area and sat down, waiting for our class to be over. He was very cute and had a very hairy chest.

All I can remember was being mesmerized by him. I wanted to swim over there and rub my hand over his chest, as I had never seen anything like that before. To this day, over 35 years later, I can still picture him in my mind.

I grew up in a very strict Roman Catholic family. It wasn't until I went away for university that I was able to be true to myself. Many, many times I wanted to go to the student gay club, but I just couldn't muster up the courage to do it.

Finally, I met a lesbian, and we became very good friends. A few months later I told her I was gay too, and she was so happy.

It felt great to be able to true to myself. It wasn't always easy, but I am happiest knowing that I am true to myself, and I'm at peace. 

I now live in Toronto, and was formerly the Treasurer of the Toronto Pride parade. I have met so many great people there; friends who I still have today, and friends I wouldn't have if I wasn't true to myself and made it through.

It took me a long to say "I am gay" out loud. There were a lot of tears, a lot of stress, and a lot of sleepless nights. But I wouldn't change my life.

Everyone's time to decide to be true to themselves, is their own to make. It may be in your teens, 20's, or even later. But only you know when it's the right time.

Never be ashamed of who you are, never apologize for who you are, and be PROUD of who you are.

Alan's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Lee Majors ("The Six Million Dollar Man")

He was very rugged, very confident, and very sexy.

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