Tony

Tony, age 7

Haleyville, Alabama (1977)

This is me in Gatliburg on vacation with my Godfather. I am wearing my Farrah Fawcett-Majors "Logan's Run" t-shirt which I wore out by years end. I was obsessed with Charlie's Angels and begged my grandmother, who raised me after the death of my mother, to buy me the Farrah bust with real hair to style. I finally won out when I used my chalkboard to draw a portrait of Mrs. Fawcett-Majors to show my devotion was true.

I grew up to become a hairstylist. A sidenote to the pic is that my Godfather never married, and when his parents (who he lived with) passed away he "came out" - and shut out the rest of the family before they had a chance to ridicule him. I never got a chance to tell him I was gay too.

I realized I was different from other kids when a magic show came to the school and the magician asked for a volunteer from the audience. I was so happy when he selected me, but then I was horrified when he said I was such a 'pretty little girl'. I informed him I was a boy, and he made a big deal out of it and embarrassed me in front of the whole school. I was probably in 2nd grade at the time.

Tony's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jon Moss (of "Culture Club")

Little did I know he was buggering Boy George at the time...
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Javier

Javier, age 8

Andalucía, Spain (1987)

This is me when I was camping, at 8 years old. Every summer I went camping with my family. I loved this, and especially the Men's Locker Room. I spent hours sitting in there to see how the 40 year old guys dried their hairy bodies in front of me.

If I felt any pain, it was because none of those men were into boys as young as me! That might sound crazy, but it's true. It is a shame because I had enjoyed watching them so much.

After seeing these men, I would go to my bungalow or start dancing on the road.

I would play with my Walkman and loved listening to "True Blue" by Madonna. This made me so happy!

Now I find it very amusing to see this picture and remember the will and the desires I felt. Fortunately the years passed, I grew up, and I was with many men of all classes, races, and nationalities. Luckily for me, I've done it!

Javier's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Lorenzo Lamas 
I always liked the real men of the street that I saw around me, such as teachers, bread vendors, or any guys over 40 with chest hair

Thom

Thom, age 6

Columbus, Ohio (1997)

I believe I was pretty well-rounded as a gay child. I liked toy cars and Barbies, didn't play sports until I was older, but was always physically active outside. I was definitely very emotional and cried quite a bit. Taking after my sister and gay brother, I always had unique tastes in music and movies, etc. My lips were always extremely rosy, which got me made fun of a lot.

"I had my gay older brother to model myself after"

As for the photo, I'm in the middle, and my gay brother is on the right. Looking at it now, our gayness was absolutely apparent.

It was around 8 or 9 that I knew I liked men. One day while in my friend's backyard, her shirtless dad shouted something to her from the upstairs window.

That night, I had a dream in which he was naked. When I woke up I just knew that that - and men in general - appealed to me more than women. I didn't accept myself until around 15, however.

Thom's first, famous-person same sex crush:

David Hasselhoff ("Baywatch")
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Micah

Micah, age 8
Honolulu, HI (1984)

"Go Dodgers! Hayyyyy!"

This was taken visiting my grandparents in Honolulu. I was a shy kid, and my mom said I was "gifted."

It turns out the main gifts were decorating, cooking, and being fabulous on trips.

I always felt different, but didn't realize I was gay until I was a freshman in college.


Literally, one morning I woke up and it hit me: I was gay.
After that everything finally made sense.

Looking back at this pic, it makes me think: Damn I was a cute kid! :-)

But I don't think I could get my wrist to do that these days. 

Micah's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Luke Perry & Jason Priestly ("Beverly Hills 90210")

James

James, age 7
Manchester, GA (1985)

This is a shot my mother took of my brother and I – for some reason – sitting on the roof of our dad’s car. My brother is – again inexplicably – holding our (strictly indoor) cat as I saucily lean in shirtless.

I remember absolutely nothing about this day. But, I love the look on my face. Maybe it's the pursed lips or the (veeeerrry) pre-Justin Bieber mop top, but I look young and happy. And, despite living in the not-so-tolerant rural south, I feel safe.

25 years later and more than 1,000 miles away from that day, I'm now a very happy, healthy, moderately well adjusted - and only slightly saucy - 32 year old.

James' first, famous-person same sex crush:

Phil Collen (guitarist in Def Leppard)

Good lord! :)

Alan

Alan, age 7

London, UK (1957)

Here I am on Christmas day, front and centre next to my favourite aunt, with my parents looking rather glum at the rear. My first memorable activity was what my uncle termed 'Picking apples' - my ballet dance, with my  arms in the air. Then singing in a talent contest at age 4, which was a song about the Queen's Coronation. The first birthday present I remember wanting at age 4, was a tea set, and I recall making tea with it for mom.

I also enjoyed cooking with mom - much to dad's chagrin. Around 5, I wanted to see The King & I and Oklahoma. My favorite aunt had all the Rogers & Hammerstein LP's, which I knew by heart by the age of 10.

Crushes on boys began at 6, and although I wasn't aware what it was all about, I knew I wanted their closeness. I loved sharing a changing cubicle with a friend I swam with at elementary school. I was hopeless at team sports (still can't throw or catch), and was always picked last for any team. So I spent my time playing make-believe or chatting with the girls.

In the 60's in the Essex UK suburbs, I had no clue what being gay was. I just presumed (and yet somehow seriously doubted) that these crushes would eventually fade. And that all would fall into place, that I'd marry a girl and have kids etc. But I distinctly recall the moment a friend told me what "gay" was - and I was really worried.

Could this be my fate? I knew it was, but I spent the next decade trying to be like everyone else, hiding my real self and feeling totally alone.

My deliverance came with my move to Canada, ostensibly to study but really to make a complete break and find my true self. Thankfully, by 1972 Gay Liberation had already taken root there. I plucked up my courage and I went to one of the meetings on campus. Home at last!

I met my present partner in Montreal in 1973 and the rest is history.
We married in 2007 - after 34 years of living in sin!

Alan's first, famous-person same sex crushes:

Cary Grant (in "An Affair To Remember") & Ty Hardin

Andrew

Andrew, age 7
Ruston, LA (1984)

I was a very sweet, shy, stereotypical teacher's pet. This was snack time after my kindergarten graduation. The only thing I remember is being happy that I got to sit next to this girl. I liked her.

"Snack Time"

I knew I was gay form a very early age. My older sister was in theater, so I knew what it was. And I knew the word was "gay". We lived way out in the country, and I remember being about 5 years old, and my much older brother had his track buddies over to run around our property. I loved their super skimpy 1980's running shorts, with the white pant-liner things inside.

About my first crushes: I taped the miniseries "Elvis & Me" and watched it over and over. Later I had crushes on James Dean and Greg Louganis. I wrote letters to people to try and get Greg's address including Oprah (she wrote back but didn't give me the address) and The Advocate (who DID give me his address). Greg wrote me back and I still have the signed photo of him diving.
 
Looking back at this pic of me now?
Well - my hand gestures are still pretty much the same.

Andrew's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Elvis Presley
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Sean

Sean, age 7

Madison, CT (1994)

I can't quite remember when this photo was taken. I did theater as a child (and still do), so it could have been a head shot for a local play or just evidence of my complete inability - even at the age of 7 - to pass up an opportunity to be in front of a camera and pretend to be famous.

"Drama Queen from the start"

I never really felt "different" in the way that so many other gay guys I know felt growing up. I guess I was just completely oblivious to the fact that there was something different about wanting to play with my cousin's "Bawbies" and dress up in their Snow White costumes. Or demand my preschool re-create the opening number from Beauty & The Beast with myself as Belle (naturally).

I suppose growing up in a loving family and in the theater really sheltered me from any feelings about being different, or the need to conform to what other boys did. Which of course made me woefully unprepared for middle and high school, and definitely impeded my ability to embrace who I was and to come out.

The first thought I have looking at this photo is that I wish to God my hair was still that color. Mostly it just makes me laugh seeing how far I've come in my growth and development in the past 16 years. But also how little I've changed from who that kid in the picture was.

Sean's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Leonardo DiCaprio (in "Titanic")

Robert

Robert, age 6

Merced, CA (1992)

I was an entertainer, a dancer, and loved to sing. I'm guessing my mom snapped this picture of me reciting my 'I'm a little teapot' skit on the kitchen chair.

“I’m the fiercest teapot you’ll ever meet, (insert finger snap)!!!”

The rainbow shirt? Pure coincidence? I think not!

That was my favorite shirt growing up, though I haven't been to Germany yet.

I remember looking at this picture and thinking, 'Sh*t, how did mom and dad NOT know?!' 

I hated doing anything physical. I would much rather cook with Mom, and always had to look nice, no matter where I was going…

Robert's first, famous-person same sex crush:

John Stamos ("Full House")
I still blush when I see hm! :)

Jack

Jack, age 6

Portsmouth, RI (1963)

This photo was taken in my parents living room, which I fondly remember with 50's furniture and knick-knacks, and which I cherish till this day. And there I am posing with my Kimono, a gift from my Aunt Irma and Uncle Jim who were stationed in Japan at the time. In pictures of me as a child I always seemed happy and always smiled for the cameras.

But from an early age I realized I wasn't like the other boys, and I always knew that. I wasn't a fan of sports (although my father and grandfather loved them with a passion I never understood). While I was happy to play sports, I didn't care much if I won or lost - I was just happy to play.

As such, I was usually picked last to play on a team. I absolutely loved playing with GI Joe dolls, but mine were never fighting - they were usually packing up their uniforms to go on vacation to the beach. LOL!

I always loved the idea of vacations and travel. When I got older, (around 13)
I use to pack a small suitcase and take a bus to the local airport and sit at the departure gates pretending I was going on vacation. At the end of the day I would simply take the bus home.

In hindsight I guess kids knew I was slightly "different," and I guess I don't remember a time in my life that I didn't know I was different, although gay wasn't the word I attributed it to. I never formed a lot of friendship with other boys while growing up, and more easily formed friendships with girls. But I did have a couple of good male friends while growing up in high school.

During college, I formed a number of strong male friendships, with a strong emphasis on drinking. However, I guess my choices of TV watching in the 60's being the annual airings of The Wizard of Oz and Rogers & Hammerstein's Cinderella should have told me something.

Like many others my age, my efforts at being straight and entering marriage eventually failed. However - that marriage resulted in two wonderful children am I thankful for every day, who accept me the way I am. Coming out wasn't a perfect experience for me by any means, and I put it off until my early 40's. But then again, coming out is usually not perfect experience for anyone.

I have a great family who I love dearly. I have to especially thank my partner of 15 years who has made my life complete and who I love dearly. He challenges me to be a better person almost daily. Without him, I would probably have remained in the closet for many more years, wasting additional time.

Life is very good being the real me.
And I don't have any doubt about it - I was born this way.

Jack's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Mark Goddard (Major Don West on "Lost In Space")

Jim

Jim, age 5

Portland, MI (1994)

Here I am with my siblings. Notice that my sister is holding some kind of bat, and my brother is holding a football.

And I am being me.

I was never into sports, really, and I suppose I knew that I liked guys from a very young age. I was always more attracted to Prince Eric and not Ariel from The Little Mermaid.

It's obviously a very telling sign, but it took me until sophomore year of high school to admit who I was.

Now I am very happy with a boyfriend of 3.5 years, and a loving family that accepts me for who I am.

Adam

Adam, age 4

Sunbury, Victoria, Australia (1985)

"Smiling assassin"

As a kid I was always up for trying to get a laugh out of people. Although I could be quite shy at times around new people, amongst family and friends - I was the joker!

My sister Justine (pictured here) and I would often play together, be it Barbies on a Saturday morning (Ken who?) or as you can see from this picture - dress ups!

I was never aware of being "gay" but perhaps felt different soon after starting Primary School. I was much more thoughtful and caring than any of the others boys in the class, and was immediately drawn to making friends with the girls.

When I was only 8, I wrote in my journal to the teacher 'I love your blue dress today. That color really suits you'. Mum would pick me up from school when it was sports day and we'd go out for lunch.

I never really thought anything about that until recently, but I much rather enjoyed a nice lunch out with Mum than competing for a little ribbon with the other boys!

I just love this picture! My sister's smirk says it all! No doubt everyone was having a laugh, so that's why I have a smile on my face, too!

Adam's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jonathan Taylor Thomas ("Home Improvement")

I think it was a mix of the tan and the hair!

Matt

Matt, age 6

Virginia Beach, Virginia (1975)

I spent a lot of time in my youth climbing trees and running around in the woods. I used to run around the house with my arms up and my wrists out like Wonder Woman while wearing my mom's long white nightgowns, which must have been a very funny sight. I remember this period in my life as incredibly free and happy with abundant potential and creativity. I felt very loved and safe, and was only aware of the difference in myself from other boys as something of a gift, or something special that made me well, me!

"I believe in Magic, Rainbows, and Unicorns"

This was also the year I briefly joined - and was kicked out of - the Cub Scouts, a "Christian" group that admittedly - freaked me out. Being raised Jewish, my first impression of Christians was noticing the dead man nailed to a stick around some of their necks.

The contrast in the smiling welcoming faces that wore this gore was such a contradiction, and it really scared the sh*t out of me.

One Cub Scout meeting was at a Baptist Church. 15 or 20 other kids my age and older were sitting in a circle, talking about what we wanted to be when we grew up: firemen, astronauts, bee farmers, or the Incredible Hulk.

When it came to me I honestly told the room: 'My husband is going to be a policeman, and I'll be living in a 3-bedroom house, with flowers and a beagle - and I'll make the best ice cream in the world.'

My suspicion about not fitting in was solidified at that moment.

Everyone got upset, and the Scout Master started yelling at me - 'You can't do that! You're an abomination, a monster!' - and my personal favorite - 'Devil Child!' (you know the drill).

The Scout Master then made me sit outside on the front steps of the church by myself, while they finished their meeting. As night crept in, I remember feeling so lonely and afraid. I must have been out there for a couple hours by the time the meeting ended.

When all the laughing kids came spilling out of the church and into their parents' cars, I asked the Scout Master about calling my mom to let her know the meeting had ended. And he loudly declared 'Oh, I KNOW whoever put you up to this is coming to get you!' Then he left me alone, at night, sitting in front of this locked church, in the dark. I had to get the janitor that came later, to call my mom.

When she got there she couldn't believe my story (I guess it was really all too fabulous?) and she insisted I must have done something wrong.
'Nobody would leave a child your age by himself! I know you're lying!'

When we got home and she called the Sadist in Question, she was told that he wanted nothing to do with her, and finally after she had spoken to someone in charge, we just never talked about it. However, I also remember my mom hugging me later and letting me know we didn't need those people. She was actually more supportive than I sometimes give her credit for.

When I look at this picture now, I feel so much love and respect for this child who was just so, beautiful, innocent, brave, and so deeply in touch with himself at such an early age.

I had no idea what sex was then, but I knew love.

Matt's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Gary Burghoff (Radar on "M*A*S*H")

He was so lovable and cute, I just wanted to hug him and fall asleep
with my head on his shoulder, while he held me in his arms.
___________________________________________

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Grant

Grant, age 6

Missoula, MT (1996)

"I was born a Little Monster!"

I always liked putting on my mom's square dancing dresses; spinning around and making them twirl. I'd wear her necklaces and clip-on earrings and dance around for hours.

In this photo I had my 'purse' (which is actually a small cooler), and I think I was pretending to be Snow White or some other princess.

I can't remember why I had my hand behind my head, but I was always one for the dramatics.

When I show my friends this photo now, they tell me I was born a Lady Gaga fan because, of my monster paw. 

I knew I was different from a very young age, and knew I was gay from age 10.

But it took me 8 years to accept it. My mom was a single parent, and since I didn't really have many friends, she became my best friend.

She has always supported me in everything I do, from building a Baby Spice robot for a 3rd grade project to loving me for exactly who I am.

My mom is my biggest fan, and I couldn't ask for anyone better.

Grant's first, famous-person same sex crush:
Freddie Prinze Jr.

Mat

Mat, age 9

San Leandro, California (1985)

I'm 9 in this picture at my elementary school Halloween party. I loved Star Wars and just knew I could make it more fabulous! The funniest part of this picture is the clown next to me. I wish you could see the look on his face!

I sure loved Star Wars, but more than that, I loved Harrison Ford!

I should have known back then I would have daddy issues...

I remember feeling different at this age, but I just didn't know what it meant to be gay yet.

That started happening around 13, when I asked to go to see a musical for my birthday. In San Francisco!

Classmates making fun of me pretty much kept me from ever sharing such info again. But 3 years later, I did have my pre-coming out party in choir!

Overall, I suffered through some rough stuff at times.

But as they say these days:

It gets better!

Mat's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Harrison Ford ("Indiana Jones")

Oh man - that leather jacket and that bull whip?! 
Still gets me going to this day!
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"

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